Saturday Night Open Caption Contest

When reading the article in The Oregonian linked to Nojo’s post about Talibunny’s visit to The People’s Republic of Eugene, I stumbled upon this gem of a photo of some of the tchotchkes for sale outside the Eugene Hilton.

It begs for an open caption contest. Pour yourself your cocktail of choice and let the creative juices flow!

[Photo by Thomas Boyd, The Oregonian]

I am alarmed that any sentient being takes the Talibunny seriously …

The big old white lilac is blooming as part of my 3 year regeneration plan. Consequently the garden smells like liquorice and honey. Late daffodils are gorgeous and scented, peonies and poppies are setting buds, alliums are on the way, not all of the roses are dead, and the apple trees are in bloom.

All the rest is phantasmagoria.

@Benedick: And seriously – if you want to come to the city tomorrow, BB leftovers can be had.

@blogenfreude: That’s very sweet of you. But we’re planning to go to see a broadcast of the new Alan Bennet play from the National in a local town. Failing that I’ll be working.

Hope your din was fab.

This broken clock isn’t right even twice a day.

My caption is in the alt-text.
Query: What is on her bottom lip on the big clock? Satan’s tongue?

The face that launched a thousand twits.

T/J: I beat SFL and Baked in Scrabble. This happens so rarely that I thought it worthy of a post.

If only people would stop giving that Shrieking Hag so much free publicity. She’s a right-wing Paris Hilton, famous for being famous. (Talent? Who needs talent?)

Market it as the Talibunny Clock Sucker?

@Dodgerblue: Dude, that is worth the 10-yard unsportsmanlike/excessive celebration penalty.

@redmanlaw: Dude, you stole my first thought.

OK, how about set your alarms early and often?

But srsly, RML, what do you know about guns?

We were given the charge by some elderly friends who need to clear out and move upstate to find out if these two ancient rifles that have been sitting around in their garage for 30+ years are worth anything. At least one of them is from my 80+ year old friend’s father or grandfather.

So for the first time in my adult life, I have firearms in my house.

One looks truly ancient, with two of those flippy things (hammers?) that you see the cowboys cock in the old westerns, but it has some oxidation all over the…(stock?) It’s almost all metal. Says “V(V?)M Parkhurst” on one side and “Machine Made” (seems proud of that) 0n the other side.

The other one is a Browning, in much better shape, and much more modern-looking, though probably still at least 50 years old, if not 75-100. Just has lots of filigree engravings on the metal parts.

Where do I go to find out if these are worth anything? I don’t even know what to google.

How much more alarming can an alarm clock get?

A fucking alarm clock?

Junior Achievement irreverence.

Someone needs to come up with a life size Talibunny head-with-action-mouth sex toy.

That’ll deliver some apocalyptic vulgarity, you betcha!

@FlyingChainSaw: Hey, just stick a Fleshlight behind a Sarah Palin Adult-Sized Mask and you’ll be fine. Though you may need an industrial drill to get through those power-plastic teeth.

Also: This is the only alarm clock you’ll ever need. When the big hand points straight up it means Armageddon has started. That means Jesus wants you to kill people. Sharpen your stakes, holy warriors!

@Pedonator: @redmanlaw:

i stared at it without looking at the comments, reds you stole my line too.
was just thinking about you reds as i looked at my empty dock. this is the first time i’ve been robbed at home. you’ve had what, 3 B&E’s?
do you think any of them were due to illegals?
i wish that haitian had knocked on my door instead. i would have fed him, clothed him and hired him.
i had a really cool 2 seater. oh well, i hope it helps them anyway.

how about, “it’s time to laugh in my face”

or the alarm says “time to wake up, you betcha!

or “a face that can stop a clock”

now i’ll never get you down here…the place where true patriotic americans escape to.
and write things on the wrong thread.
see: eugene on the previous one

@Pedonator: The Parkhurst sounds like an English or Euro made shotgun from the late 1800s** You could post a query on* or go to the Browning website to learn more about them. You could probably find a reputable gunshop or estate liquidator to help you unload them. Heh. Seriously, make sure they are unloaded.

Drop me a line at redmanlaw at if you want some help with this.

@baked: Whoa – ripped off? I hate that shit. I am now the most paranoid motherfucker on the block now. Sorry to hear that And yes, we are up to three burglaries. I want an alarm and cameras while Mrs RML refuses to think about the issue.


** Here’s what someone found on the Parkhurst shotgun:

“I’ve found a couple of different answers. (edited to add: nuts, now I’ve lost the links. The 2nd answer was on JT

1) Parkhurst was a brand name used on some “lower quality” English shotguns from around 1890 to about 1905 or so. I used the quotes because frankly, it’s bull. In England, if it wasn’t made for the higher ups in society and cost a thousand pounds, it was called “lower quality”. Parkhurst guns were simply aimed at the working man’s budget and they sold a LOT of them all over the place!

You can still find them all over the US, probably still by the thousands in Brit farmhouses, Australia, NZ, Canada etc.

They roughly correspond to Folsom/Crescent shotguns over here in the US in terms of quality. They were rock solid, reliable weapons and every farmer had one sitting behind his door.

When they were “made” in England, they were manufactured by J.P. Clabrough and co….and they could have gotten it from about a half a dozen actual makers so knowing who actually made it is next to impossible. If it’s an English gun, it should be labeled “William Parkhurst”….if it’s one of the later Belgian ones (made by Simonis, Janssen and Dumoulin approx 1906-1938), it’ll be “Wm. Parkhurst”.

“Laminated steel” on those old guns was a type of welded damascus, yes. They aren’t safe to shoot with modern ammo so don’t even consider it!

I’m sorry to say they aren’t very valuable as much more than wall hangers these days. On a good day, if yours was in especially fine condition, you might get $500. Most average in the $125-180 range. On the other hand, yours appears to be an English one so that would make it over a hundred years old….and to be honest, I’ve never even heard of a 10ga Parkhurst.

2) Parkhurst shotguns were made in England by J.P. Clabrough & Brothers., and in Belgium by Simonis, Janssen & Dumoulin. After 1906 they were all made in Belgium(I thought S,J,&D closed up in 1905, ofcourse maybe someone else took over the name or name contract).
It sounds like one of the relatively common guns imported by Sears (and anyone else who ordered a bunch could get their trade name marked on them).Generally considered to be wallhangers, most are of doubtful safety to use with modern ammo unless checked by a competent gunsmith.

There was also a Wm Parkhurst who made percussion guns in New Hampshire in the later part of the 1800’s maybe he was the vendors of these guns….

I saw one reference where the chambers are 2 5/8ths which wouldn’t lend themselves to modern ammo very well.

Most all the sources say lower value, saw on for sale as a wall hanger for $50, most were $200-$300 but one enterprising fellow had one listed for $2400. Butterfields Auction House had one listed expected it to bring 400 – 800 (pounds Sterling??)

Holy shit. It looks like the scariest Twilight Zone episode ever!

@redmanlaw: Thanks. I suspect they aren’t as valuable as we would hope. But you’ve given me a good starting point.

@baked: You were robbed not burgled? Scary. I trust you and RB are ok?

@baked: I started a rematch. Dodger’s move.

@Pedonator: Wow. This could be assembled pretty quickly.

Nojo, what say you consider an addition to our crapware catalog? Just the press release would gain us some traffic.

@Mistress Cynica: @Pedonator:

someone stole my kayak right off the dock…sucks.
i whine in detail on other threads. we’re fine, just pissed.
all this cooking going on en masse! we’re in the middle of cooking thanksgiving dinner-the works!
we’re gonna start getting our periods together-boys too.

Thanksgiving in April?

How do you know the guy who stole the kayak was Haitian? Did someone see him paddling away?

Being burgled sucks. In the past couple weeks, several people in my little condo complex of 10 units have had stuff stolen out of their storage units and garages – complete with locks being busted and doors crow-barred open.

On an unrelated note, did you see article about expats giving up US citizenship?

@Pedonator: The Browning would be the more valuable of the two. Depends on what model it is, etc. Send me some pics of the guns, the mfg. stamps, and serial numbers if you want and I can get you some better information on value, although it won’t be an actual appraisal. More like a weedy dirt lot of a ball park figure.

I found out that my dad’s Marlin .30-30 lever action rifle (an Old West looking gun) he gave me that he bought at Sears or something was part of a limited run for department stores and is actually worth a lot more than other similar models. Or would be if the stock hadn’t been replaced after he cracked it when he slipped on some ice. I also threw a peep sight on it, which probably reduced its value to sentimental only, although I think it’s a bad ass quick handling brush gun. I took it out for deer this year.

BTW, a friend’s family owned Marlin. Dude quit his job after the sale went through. Must be rolling in it since they sold at the peak of the gun boom.

thanksgiving dinner was great! why just in november?

i saw the article. every case is different. we would never give up usamerican citizenship. israel is one of the countries you can have dual citizenship, which is what we have. we still pay some taxes, but nowhere near what we paid before. RB’s business is international. and his income is wired to him. this made a huge difference. when it was wired to philly, large chunks of it went to taxes, now it’s wired here, no taxey.
which almost, not quite, makes up the difference in this weakened economy. it’s international–domino effect. the whole world is in a recession. in T&C we have legal residency, which is all we can get.
and now i go stare at scrabble board…….


why do i think it was a haitian? evilmammy said so. (she is hatian and has been living here legally for 20 years) we have a huge problem with illegal immigrants from haiti. way before the earthquakes.
i used to live on the northeastern tip of the island, now i’m on the southwestern coast. first landfall for illegals sneaking in. i’m on a tiny peninsula, the back of my house sits on a tidal creek, silly creek, ad my neighbors across the street sit on the ocean side. silly creek estates are the nicest place to live on the island. an established community of beautiful homes and location, if you don’t mind the coast guard choppers every 15 minutes. (have i mentioned we’re totaly house poor? after the 2 thousand year old house in jerusalem, they could not drag me out of here) so they straggle in, can’t get work, so they land here and think it’s a free buffet. i’m just grateful they didn’t break into the house, as so many have been. i can’t even report it because of all the pot plants all over the grounds.
or…it could have been kids. i have everyone looking for that kayak though! i even posted a pic of it offering a reward in the supermarket. where can you hide a taxi yellow double kayak? i’m so considerate i even left the paddles in it.
and i believe you just caught me being racist, which makes me sick to my stomach. why do i listen to evilmammy……

btw, i almost had the word of my life…all letters on TWO triples—258 points. but i needed an A, and all my wishing and clapping my hands would not change an I to an A. aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh.


The expat article was hilarious – the entire thing was a thinly-veiled excuse to whine about taxes and bank regulation. For instance:

American expats have long complained that the United States is the only industrialized country to tax citizens on income earned abroad … though they are allowed to exclude their first $91,400 in foreign-earned income.

So I’m supposed to feel sorry for people who make double the US median household income? Um, no. Double no for the teabaggeresque “business executive” whining about taxation without representation, especially since EXPATS can VOTE!

Oh, and the number of people doing this? 1% of 1% of the 5.2 million expats.

who’s whining? not me. and i voted for barry.
my issue with taxes is, i don’t wanna buy any more humvees. i’ve bought quite a few, the vulnerable-who-gives-a-shit-about-the-troops ones.
this country was founded on that very principle.
no taxation without representation. so i got around it. and i’m proud of it.
aren’t you whining about taxes and bank regulation?
you should be.

“if we could just find out who is really in charge, we can kill him”
—george carlin

and it aint barry.

ps i became an expat when George the Idiot was “re-elected”

guess what? when i pledged half of myself to the israeli flag, they threw health insurance at me. 100% paid for by the state.
from neurosurgery to bunions.
imagine that.

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