Catholic League President Bill Donohue buys an NYT ad: “The Times continues to editorialize about the ‘pedophilia crisis,’ when all along it’s been a homosexual crisis. Eighty percent of the victims of priestly sexual abuse are male and most of them are post-pubescent.” [Towleroad]


From what I’ve read, not the ones in Canada City, Germany, Ireland, US America, Africa, pretty much everywhere there’s been priest boy troubles.

And thus all the blame is on society tolerating the evil sin of homosexuality under the false guise of equality and tolerance. Come on, people, it couldn’t be more obvious, the Church wasn’t hiding pedophilia, it was practicinmg “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Bill Donohue, the gift that keeps on giving.

Because the real scandal isn’t the Church hierarchy (including the current Pope) covering up for and enabling priests who rape under-aged boys, then threatening victims with excommunication if they talk about it. The real scandal here is gays in the priesthood.

@ManchuCandidate: When Donahue says “post-pubescent,” he’s talking about 12 and 13 year old boys. According to him, it’s only pedophilia if the kid is 11 and under. You don’t suppose he’s simultaneously building a defense for himself, do you?

@karen marie:

“If there’s grass on the field Defense”

I agree. I suspect that man’s closet is a very very very scary place and I don’t want to think what’s in it.

If I understand today’s earlier conversation, jeggings are a homosexual crisis.

@Serolf Divad: Don’t worry, the Vatican will issue a mea culpa for this whole mess in half a century or so.

@Serolf Divad:
actually the real scandal is their promoting of a culture that forces closeted paranoid homosexuals into the priesthood as a “cover” and then acting surprised when these repressed confused pathetic people act out.

this is sort of pointless but still funny.

Pope Benedict Favorable Rating Drops to 40% in U.S.

For some reason, I noted the mention of the Pope at the start of the list of people prayed for at Mass last week. Some but not all of our priests also add a prayer for retired Archbishop Robert Sanchez, who had to quit about 20 years ago after some boneage involving the ladies. Among them (allegedly) was a sister of the basketball team and casino owning, Britney Spear-dating Maloof brothers of Albuquerque and Las Vegas.

Wow, that is just a very wierd formulation. It’s almost like he’s saying the ‘homosexual crisis’ within the church is caused by the availability of so many post-pubescent boy victims.

@flippin eck: Yeah, I was thinking it might be more like a couple hundred years, but perhaps the church is moving faster in this era of easier communication.

Technically that makes it an ephebophile crisis, but it’s a distinction without much of a difference, isn’t it?

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Yes and no. To quote A Chorus Line (Settle down in the back! Don’t make me come down there and chastize you with my ruler. Because you know I will.) Hello 12, hello 13, hello love! This is followed by an unfortunate rhyme we don’t need to go into now. But I do think that puberty changes everything.

But of course, who else is going to volunteer to be a priest but a nice gay man? Ditto teachers? What they need are boyfriends. Sounds like a job for the Homofascist army. Speaking of which, where the hell is our generalissimo? Are we just supposed to sit here playing with ourselves? Not all of us live in basements like our poor dear noje.

I blame donatism.


I dunno. If my minister had been hawt and under 40 when I was 16 I might have slept with him, but I can’t say that it would have been good for me. Not the sex, that is, the trouble that would have accompanied it. Plus, there was a time when I was really into youngish dudes (like, in their early 20’s) in my early thirties, and the mind games I pulled on those poor kids really weren’t fair, and I am a bit ashamed of that period…I can only imagine what kind of advantage 20 years would have given me.

HF can be summoned, but only with links to semi-hairy white dudes. Don’t ask me why.

OK. All you gorgeous Stinque women and noje better look away because you will be upset by this. Remember how I can get? Well there you go.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Darling. 20s? I was hopelessly in love at 14. I just re-met him in London. With his wife. I compared notes on his cock with her. No, but srsly. If we accept the idea that sexual expression is cultural we must accept the fact that what happens in the US as regards blowing a load over father Michael in one’s gym sock isn’t necessarily a law of nature. Afgani men, like the Spartans, used to all have 12 and 13 year old boys as their lovers. Most of them still do. As do most men in societies that devalue women and noje. Our own cultural construct of give-take same-age your-ass-my-ass-muscleboy sexuality is very recent. As recent as modern marriage.

Example: (ladies, noje, keep looking away as I address my brotha, yo!) oral sex is recent. It cum came with the rise of hygiene and bidets. When a man doesn’t bathe for a week or three he can smell pretty ripe down there in the britches. (although I must admit that I reckon that Capt Howdy always smells of pine tar and leather. I don’t know why) Hence the fashion for buttsecks in the Renaissance and beyond. You slick it up and stick it in. You don’t need to get near the apparatus. Humorous factoid: When barge floated by bearing piles of shit from city to dumping ground those in the know would want to know if monks just passed by: monks loved to fuck butt: butt smelled like…. Where was I?

I can’t cope with it. It’s all evil because of the church. But some of those boys could have had a good time. And let’s not get too puritanical about it. I made my life in a wildly unbalanced agerist marriage. Let’s not blame the boys. Lets not blame the need to love.

The cover up is the crime. The cover up is dogma.

Where the hell is baked? Is she doing jew stuff among the goyim?

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: I had a pastor in my post-pubescent years who taught us how to play the “between the sheets” game with song titles from the hymnal, e.g. “I am coming to the Cross between the sheets.” No surprise then that dude tried to snuggle up with my buddy and me in a most inappropriate way during a downpour on a youth camping trip. The elbows I threw that night served me well later in basketball and subway rides.

@Capt Howdy: @nojo: @IanJ: I was thinking of the recent apologies for the church’s compliance with Nazis during WWII, but apparently that was a fluke for only taking a few decades. I guess we’ll get our apology for the child-pestorking in about 2365 then.

@Benedick: I can’t hear you, la la la…

@flippin eck: Weiners will be weiners. In all their floppy spurting happiness.

@Benedick: I must admit I had debilitating crushes on adult men when I was a teen (well, still do). Whether anything good might have cum of it I suspect would depend upon the particular adult crush and how he, um, handled the thing.

Age of consent is a sticky wicket. It’s so arbitrary. I think I could have benefited from careful mentoring when I was, say, sixteen. I might have wanted it when I was fourteen, but I don’t remotely think I would have been the better for it. But that’s my personal perception of my personal experience.

The issue is consent. This scandal isn’t about the few precocious ephebes who enthusiastically engaged with their elders, viewing it as an educational and pleasurable seminar in their lifelong pursuit of sexual education.

The scandal is about men (so far, at least), using their aura of power and authority to intimidate children (boys and girls, let us not forget) into participating in things that our shared social conditioning condemns in no uncertain terms. In these cases it doesn’t matter if in some other time or place such an arrangement might have been socially acceptable; in our time and place, almost all of these children were powerless victims, post-pubescent or not.

The fact that these children were victimized by the authorities of an institution that constantly reinforces oppressive and destructive theories of human sexuality and gender norms makes it that much more heinous.

Emperor Palpatine Popey needs to be perp-walked.

@Pedonator: Sending you air kisses and hugs for being much more articulate than my LALALALALALALALALA

@SanFranLefty: XO XO

Just to be clear, I don’t find anything inherently abhorrent about age differences, no matter how great, between sexual partners. My concern is with the “consent” part of safe/sane/consensual. And it is exactly that blurry rubicon of pubescence that makes it so difficult to assign a specific age to the power of consent.

But that is not the issue of concern in these scandals involving incense-waving, nonsense-spouting kid-touchers in sequined bathrobes.

…not to mention, what would you say of a man of 40+ who, as a boy of 15, had a crush on the studly wrestling team captain who was 17 at the time, and still fantasizes about that same 17-year-old, who must now be pushing 50 (and for all I know may be in the clergy by now), but still remains forevermore 17 in the mind of the 40+year-old, and the 40+year-old still desperately wants to feel the strong firm thighs of the 17-year-young wrestling team captain gripping his head in a schoolboy pin?

Creepy? Romantic? Sad?

(Hypothetical situation, of course.)




That said, I agree with you that this all has to do with consent

And as much as we giggle about a 13 year old boy with the 27 year old female teacher or 27 year old male and how it might be awesome for said 13 year old boy, it’s kind of fucking gross and illegal. If Donohue had said “It’s not molestation or rape if the priests are fucking girls after they get their periods [even though thanks to modern chemicals some girls get their periods as young as age 9]” we probably would not have been as sanguine. It’s not appropriate to have a double standard for boys and girls, despite any of you young guys’ youthful experiences/desires. It’s still about consent and exploitation.

I don’t necessarily think the age of consent should be 18…or 17…or 16 – but there is a fuzzy line. And I’ve done enough research on adolescent brain development to know that for every 14 year old kid with super-evolved awareness there are 99 16 year olds who don’t know what the fuck is up or down.

And I’m saying this as someone who was 18 when I dated a 28 year old guy who was more immature than me – but that said my general rule for all genders and sexualities is that don’t go near anyone under 24 and if you’re ages 23-25, then 2 years under. Adolescent brain development doesn’t end until age 26.


P.S. A trip to your next to high school reunion will so quickly disabuse you of any of these fantasies when you see the wrestling team captain’s gut juggle across the dance floor at the Ramada Inn.

@SanFranLefty: The social contract, expressed as law, does need to define things. Age of consent varies widely, even in the “developed” world, but every society has a rule about this.

I do think it gets to be silly when 19 or 20-year-olds are prosecuted for statutory rape with consenting 16 or 17-year-olds, but that is where judicial flexibility should be honored.

I think I was 15 when I did a regular stint at a daycare place, and there was this one little girl, maybe about 5 years old, who had to be physically removed from sitting on my lap and, well, dry-humping me. It was the most embarrassing and humiliating thing I had ever encountered (at that young age, how naive I was).

On the other hand, I was sympathetic, because I remember rubbing myself against things as early as 5 years old, for the sensation and with vague psychological feelings that I recognized as sexual only many years later.

Just saying, kids are sexual because humans are sexual. That does not in any way excuse adults who abuse children, sexually or otherwise.

And I’m sure you are right that, especially in our particularly twisted (regarding human sexuality) society, there are few humans under the age of 16 (?) who can reasonably consent.

But it would be nice if we could trust judges and juries to weigh the context of individual cases, within some socially agreed-upon guidelines.

@SanFranLefty: I’m warning you, Dorothy, don’t set your house down on my ruby slippers.

I just know that Derek Scott, high school wrestling team captain at OHS (Obfuskee High School), still keeps himself in shape.

He may be a few pounds heavier, but that’s all the better to pin me with.

I’m sure he’s had some work done, since his suspiciously singular chin has the same chiseled cleft I remember from years ago. And there are no telling crows’ feet around his steel-blue eyes. But I won’t hold that against him. After all, his pecs are still lickable.

i’m here darling…was weighed down by matzoh ball sinkers and visiting our hosts from the weird seder i went to. also inet has been down…

this conversation reminds me of roman polanski. i feel so bad for this guy. the 16 year old he fucked prob looked 40. then they jail him in swizerland as part of a trade. our IRS wanted info from swiss banks, and instead they handed them roman as a sacrificial lamb.

and then there is the 14 year old RB, molested by his 24 year old german teacher. it had the effect of creating a permanent swagger, not shame.
so yes, Pedo, it certainly would be nice if judges and juries can be trusted to weigh the context of individual cases. we won’t hold our breath.

did i read somewhere that the italians are up in arms and law enforcement plans to go after ratzi? or was it just a hopeful dream?

banjo strummers: “if they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough to breed” ewww.

If rape isn’t about sex but about power then what is behind this exploitation of children? The church doesn’t seem to want to look into that. We are programmed to fall in love. We start with our parents and move on to our wrestling coach. (Derek Scott, I’m looking at you. Ah, those nights at the Ramada Inn! Shh! Don’t tell Pedo) So we are entirely vulnerable as children. Does it matter that Juliet was 14? Or that women are still married at 12 in Arab countries? I know of one child bride who spent her wedding night playing gin rummy with her husband. Not for one moment to blame the children but what is it that made them so vulnerable and so unable to ask for help? I got felt up by a man on a bus when about 7 or 8. I waited till a certain stop than ran off to get to a police station. I didn’t go in but I knew he wouldn’t follow. What is it stops the children in these cases from asking for help? Or did they and their parents didn’t listen? Are the ‘cure the gay’ camps for children also child sexual abuse expressed differently? The Mormon ‘boot camps’ in Utah? Isn’t it extraordinary that the only priest yet to go to jail in the US was convicted on the basis of ‘recovered memory’ which is always fabricated? How much else has been invented? And what is the proportion of boys to girls among those molested? Why has the story become about the boys while the girls have been largely ignored? Why have the cases of girls being molested by nuns been largely ignored? What is Derek Scott’s phone number? We need to know.

@baked: Wasn’t she 14 at the time? Very bad and stupid but she has coped. And from the sound of it he was less damaging than her mother. And isn’t the case really about the AG launching a re-election campaign? I don’t know.

The pity is that we can’t talk about any of this. It is even more toxic than trying to work out why the terrists want to bomb us so we could maybe fix the root of the problem. So the children become isolated when we could be trying to help them. Instead they become violated again by zealots like this Donohue person when what they really need is Coach Scott’s phone number and a weekend pass to the Ramada Inn.

@Benedick: Thirteen. And now that the issue has resurfaced in her middle age she says that all charges should be dropped, but no one seems to be listening.

i learned this from agent gideon from criminal minds….
the perv is attracted to an age that he/she had their development arrested.
what stops children? their acceptance of the authority of grown ups.
ratzi will fry in his hell, and why the hell isn’t there an international outcry and prosecution of these freaks hiding in their brocade robes is beyond me.
it’s just stupefying.

@baked: But with Polanski, there was no consent. She was 13, and if you read the original police and reports, she repeatedly said no as he anally and vaginally raped her after giving her drugs. Polanski even conceded that.

Whether or not she looked 18, or she was a virgin, or she had ever drank alcohol before, or her mother threw her at Polanski, or that he was from a “different culture” or he is an artist who gets special dispensation – some of the excuses or justifications – still don’t change the basic undisputed facts that
(1) she was 13 and
(2) said no to him and
(3) he drugged her and
(4) he raped her.

Whether or not it’s a good idea for the DA’s office to still be going after the guy is a separate issue, and I don’t think it’s the greatest use of LA County taxpayers’ money, but that doesn’t change what happened.

@baked: I don’t believe that’s what causes it. Or should I say that there are many reasons that cause it. That sounds a bit too ‘My mother made me gay’. Surely celibacy must be near the top of the list because it makes the whole world of the priest completely sex-obsessed. I remember only too well when I was in a seasonal play that involved snow and a lot of children (you work it out) making sure that I was never in a room alone with any of them ever. Not because I was planning to molest them but because I figured it was only a question of time before this issue raised its ugly head. As indeed it did. In the most depressing way imaginable. A boy of perhaps 8 from a very devout black evangelical family. He was so obsessed by the nearness of homos that he had to be isolated from the rest of the company. Was he trying to initiate himself into the adult world of sex? Why was he acting out buttsex fantasies with the younger children? (thank God they didn’t understand what was going on) And what did his behavior teach us about his home life? And srsly, what is Coach Scott’s phone number and is he on facebook?

I think that by pretending that children are not sexually active – in their own ways – we isolate them and and leave them vulnerable to exploitation. The Catholic church must, by its own teachings, allow for repentance and the forgiveness of sin. Authority lies in the church and not in the priest. So the priest can be a sinner without in any way damaging the authority of the church. It seems to me that the dogma of donatism has made the church particularly vulnerable. The bishops were duty-bound to forgive the priests and to try to rescue them from sin. What was forgotten were the victims of their sin. I think that if one is a practicing Catholic it must be very difficult to blame the priests. Surely, if one does that, one blames oneself for sins that should be forgiven if one is only penitent.

@mellbell: What a bad and foolish thing to do. Of course she’d rather forget. But now they pretend the case is all about the fact that he ran away.

yet she still did not want him hounded. there is a great documentary called “wanted and desired”. watching that doc could change your opinion about the case. the girl is interviewed. but the most interesting part is about the misconduct in the trial.
it was a circus. the guy may be a sleaze but even a sleaze is entitled to a fair trial and he certainly did not get one.

@Benedick: Brave man. Been down this road, I have, and nearly lost my balls. Humbert was the weak one in that relationship, Lolita the predator, yet to even suggest such is so forbidden, that a multi-million dollar film was finished, and then shitcanned, what was it, just 10 years ago? I wanted to see it. Disparities in power exist in every relationship, disparities in intelligence, maturity, motive, in a thousand things. What seems to me utterly wrong is to draw an arbitrary line, and place such tremendous consequences on it, when it is purely arbitrary.

@Benedick: Children masturbate in the fucking womb. Yet the witch-hunters will tell you any sexuality in a child is proof of abuse. Its a puritan hysteria, maybe transferrence, we grown ups all know we are dirty, dirty pervs, lets project a false innocense on the children, won’t someone think of the children?

@Capt Howdy:
I didn’t say he wasn’t hounded, or that the trial and conduct of the DA’s office was perfect. I’m not disagreeing on that.

What’s really sad is how adults completely deny that there could be any urges to sexual behavior in kids with developmental disabilities. Just like “it’s always the retarded kid left holding the gun” in a lot of group juvenile crime situations (as multiple law enforcement people have said to me), it’s often the 14 year old kid with an IQ of 60 who winds up getting charged with sexual assault or molestation and ending up facing the possibility of going on a sex offender registry because nobody is willing to admit that despite his cognitive limitations, he’s having sexual urges, and nobody has taught him appropriate behavior or ways to act on those urges. So he winds up touching a stranger at the grocery store who has big boobs or sticking his finger in the vagina of the 6 year old girl down the street who is the only kid on the block who plays with him because they’re at the same cognitive level. If you looked at all of the adolescents who are charged with sex offender type crimes, the percentage of them who have developmental disabilities or are on the autism spectrum would blow you away.

it was more the judge than the DA and its not that it was not perfect. it was criminal. or should have been.

that doc by the way streams on netflix I believe

@Prommie: The wonder of the book is that, though Lolita does indeed seduce Humbert, he knows the consequences, she doesn’t. Remember the scene with Humbert, on the run with the Fire of his Loins, at yet another motel, hearing the voices of children at play rising from a small town in the valley below and knowing that he has forever removed Lolita from their company? The second movie wasn’t much cop. They didn’t seem to understand that the novel is a comedy. The Kubrick version is much better although very much harmed by P Sellars’s bizzarre perf as the perv. And in both the Lolita is too old. She’s 12 in the book. By 16 she’s dead. (Oops. Spoiler alert.) Though Sue Lyons was pretty compelling.

It’s not just here. And the priest scandal will continue to unfold. It was only a matter of time before it reached the Vatican. Interestingly, in countries like Ireland where children and young adults have been treated for years with savage cruelty by nuns and priests in boarding schools, orphanages and reformatories, it is the sex that gets the attention. Sex may be one of our must fundamental drives, along with food and fixing other people’s musicals, so perhaps that’s why the expression of it is so rigidly controlled. And again, I’m not advocating for molesting children. But I do think it would be so helpful if we could talk about it a little more rationally. I confess I have an axe to grind as these discussions almost always teeter on the brink of the homo recruitment fantasy. The ideal case seems to be the man so badly damaged by a marauding priest – some 30 years ago – that he can no longer perform with his sweetly patient and loving gf/wife. There seems to be a social construct at work that has very little to do with practicing take-downs with Coach Scott on rainy Saturday afternoons. I wish I knew what it was.

@SanFranLefty: That’s very interesting. I’d never stopped to think.

@Benedick: Its certainly comical that Humbert would think the children on the playground “innocent,” and the child in his bed “defiled” or no longer innocent, or whatever. I mean, really? Does he really understand the consequences, or is he more bound by received societal strictures, unrealistic perceptions of both sex and childhood? Sex does not pollute, or steal innocense, it is the taught belief that sex is bad, dirty, and evil, this pernicious teaching is what pollutes. He was a dirty old man, because he believed that, she was innocent, even while seducing him, because she didn’t.

@Prommie: Remember, it’s a work of literature so it doesn’t have a great deal to say about the actual facts of life as it’s lived day by day. It says more about the author’s assumptions than anything else. And also his wondrous use of English. Also his send-up of American literature, which is one of the pleasures of the novel: eg. the hilarious scene of Humbert’s abortive attempt to drown Charlotte without knowing that they are overlooked. Compare to similar scene in An American Tragedy and discuss. Papers due Friday.

@SanFranLefty: Wow. Fielding questions about kids and sex at 7:24 PST–you’re a trooper!

@flippin eck: I was on my third cup of coffee…
@Benedick: Regarding the Irish Catholic church and abuse of kids, Sinead O’Connor has a great piece in the Wa Post on the topic.


So he winds up touching a stranger at the grocery store who has big boobs or sticking his finger in the vagina of the 6 year old girl down the street who is the only kid on the block who plays with him because they’re at the same cognitive level.

this is a pretty insightful thing you said here. I dont know if you work with these kids or what but you absolutely nailed a situation that actually happened in my family. well actually my sisters family. the boy was a bit younger and the girl a bit older and there were other circumstances but its pretty close.
the boy has several learning challenges. he is severely dyslexic and mildly autistic but functional. he makes passing grades and he is a great athlete.
this event, which was initiated by the girl by her own admission threw the father of the girl, a religious zealot into total freak out mode. he did his best to have to boy, his nephew, locked up. and he is a cop so he almost succeeded. we have spent thousands keeping him out of lockup and he is still on the predator list.
its a terrible situation and it has torn my sisters family apart.

@Capt Howdy:
What happened to that kid happens way too often, sadly enough. I’m so sorry to hear it. Any chance of getting him off the list?

@SanFranLefty: Thank YOU! Jesus! WTF?


The scandal is about men (so far, at least), using their aura of power and authority to intimidate children (boys and girls, let us not forget) into participating in things that our shared social conditioning condemns in no uncertain terms. In these cases it doesn’t matter if in some other time or place such an arrangement might have been socially acceptable; in our time and place, almost all of these children were powerless victims, post-pubescent or not.

Thank YOU! Jesus! WTF?


Let me be clear: I have been exit-only for my entire sodemic career. “Your-Ass, My-Ass” indeed! What can you be thinking?

TJ/ Just heard a rumor that the Phelps KKKlan is heading to The City of Brotherly Love. Will take pictures if this turns out to be true.

@SanFranLefty: Very good piece.

I do believe, perhaps wrongly, that the church finds that it cannot go against dogma and so it has to find what look like absurd arguments to defend itself. The suppression of Donatism was one of the early struggles to overcome what would come to be defined as heresy. Authority rests in the church, not the priest who can be as sinful as you like it doesn’t detract from the church’s unassailable virtue. I think they would not reckon this to be a matter of hypocrisy but tradition and faith. Of course, what the Reformation did was to invest the priest with the virtue that had belonged to the church. So he is answerable for his own sins.

Which should not be confused with wrestling practice in the basement.

@SanFranLefty: Yep. Those bastards will be at Temple University at 6:45 PM. I’m going to try to make it:!/group.php?gid=365068350718&ref=mf


I have some idea. It has happened to me on occasion. I wouldn’t do anything to anyone that I wouldn’t have done to me. As a general rule, however…

@JNOV: Simultaneous productions of Rent and Laramie Project? That’s a double-whammy of Phelps-bait right there.

@mellbell: What, no Jesus Christ, Superstar?

@Capt Howdy: shoot me a msg if you want to get ideas on the topic – sanfranlefty at gmail

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: You tops you’re all the same. I bet you won’t ask for directions either.


Why would I? I always know where I am going. It’s the landscape itself that gets confused.

thank you.
I may do that

I have not communicated in a couple of weeks I need to find out where they are.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head:

I’ve found that you have to try being a good bottom in order to be a good top and vice versa; that’s how I hooked up with my first serious bf (that’s Turn Signal Dick, for long-time readers). He’d only been with girls and really wanted to know how it felt to be on the (ahem) receiving side. I rocked his ass harder than a Crue concert.

jeez, please don’t misunderstand me…roman is a sleaze, but he didn’t lure an innocent school kid or alter boy. and i’m not blaming the vixon victim. i was merely pointing out the difference between the persecution of one sick hollywood producer at a party doing drugs with a consenting lolita to a conspiracy of the catholic church to protect pedaphiles on a grand scale.

@Original Andrew: ‘Turn signal Dick’. There’s a blast from the past. How long have we all been hanging out here and do we really have nothing better to do?


Wait until we start having to have online funerals for each other. They we’ll really be depressed.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Or when we start naming pets and grandkids “Nojo”, “Prommie” and “JNOV”.

Oh and that tsunami warning? Totally lame attempt at an April Fools’ pwn. Speaking of which, heard a pretty funny one on streaming NPR this morning about their “digitally remastered collection of underwriting announcements”.

@ナビスコ: I think the Guardian going total Twitter last year was pretty great.

@ナビスコ: I don’t know whether he has it online, but years ago Harry Shearer (somebody escort Benedick from the room) did a great NPR-style piece on the NPR announcer, and the care taken reading s l 0 w w w w underwriting credits.

I wrote him a note of appreciation. He wrote back.

@Benedick: My kids told me their night had become day; I told them I was being sent to packedassistan. I laughed, they didn’t; I have got to work on my delivery!

Oh and uh oh. Don’t strikes on milk factories require Peter Arnett to be involved?

@ナビスコ: Between Peter Arnett and SFL dropping a Rosetta Stone reference, folks are hitting esoteric callbacks out of the park tonight.

@ナビスコ: Dude, we don’t joke about tsunamis in my neck of the woods or in my household. I thought you were serious and that BBC and NYT were just not on the ball as to what was going on in the land of the lotus eaters.

@nojo: Ahh, shucks, I do what I can around here to keep this place interesting and people opening new tabs in Wikipedia.

@SanFranLefty: Glad I wasn’t the only sucker combing the Asia-Pacific section of the BBC website.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: I want my online funeral to be ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. With tweets and youtube links and 399 comments posted on the blog about my untimely passing. And if y’all can work in some crowdsourcing somehow, that would be great.

@ナビスコ: Well you had me frantically searching the news this morning for reports of a quake, but I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction.

@ナビスコ: Why would your kids think being sent to packedassistan is a bad thing? Unless they went to Catholic school?

@Pedonator: We would totally do a flashmob. Too bad you insist on staying off of El Libro de Caras.

TJ of nothing: I haven’t watched Project Runway all season due to life, work, sleep, other shit going on. Watching it tonight…what the fuck is going on? Can they only have over the top effeminate ghey men, hipster dudes, and angst-ridden goth women?

And why can’t any of them other than Tim Gunn speak of themselves in anything other than the third person?

@SanFranLefty: I was just about to succumb to the inevitable, but Mr. Pedo joined FB yesterday. This morning he was so happy he had re-connected with a couple of high school friends from the DF.

Mid-day he called me at work whining about all the extra spam he was getting from people he didn’t know/remember, wanting to be his friend.

I’ve decided to wait a bit longer.

Stinque PSA: Does everyone have a porn buddy?

@nojo: Speaking of which, comes to mind the upstairs neighbor from 25 years ago. He moved out, after which we discovered racy old-school paperbacks hidden in his wall. Those would probably be worth a fortune on eBay today.

@nojo: Good point. We’ve been meaning to get all that legal shit taken care of, you know, all the stuff that would be automatic if we were legally married in the eyes of not only the state but also the nation.

But we weren’t even thinking about the porn buddy. The weight of the choice is like designating godparents, I imagine. And anyone who volunteers to be my porn buddy is going to have a heckuva job.

Thank you for reminding me about this crucial matter, Nojo. You are a national treasure / public resource.

@SanFranLefty: @Mistress Cynica: @Pedonator: I (insert JNOV <3 ) you all. It was already night my time, not one person in the orifice pulled even the slightest gag (and mind you, this is a work environment where Americana is celebrated as a religion) and I was surprised there was not an AF post on Stinque. AF was always a great thing during my childhood – rubber cockroaches under Grandma Nabisco's pillow, green dye in Pa Nabisco's cream for his coffee, telling the neighbors we were moving to North Carolina.

I was so desperate I decided to go with the false flag. Then I waited for just one wtf reaction but my sleeptime came before you or dodge responded. Lo siento con todo mi corazón

@nojo: Yes, her name is Lily, and she makes my life so wonderful.

@nojo: Oh, that kind of buddy.

I remember “racy paperbacks”; quick, which page of The Godfather included the screwing of the bride scene? I think it was like 42 or something…

@ナビスコ: There’s green dye in the coffee, and there’s making us nervous about another horrible tsunami in the Indian Ocean…so nice try, and be happy that we’re so fond of you that we’re worried…

@Pedonator: On second thought, it might be better for the cause of World Peace if my porn stash is revealed in all its glory.

Fluffy pink bunnies frolicking in golden-green springtime meadows may not be everybody’s cup of tea, but hey it rocks my cock, and that’s what I want everyone to know if I kick it before I lick it.

@ナビスコ: It must be hard to celebrate the high holy days in a furrin land.

@nojo: Erik Satie’s composition buddy: “Bro – remember all that shit I wrote no one wanted to hear? I stuck it in the FUCKING WALL, man. Dude, go get that shit if I croak or if the ol’ lady shoots me or if the liquor store guys stomp me for the tab on the absinthe and sell it for what you can get for it. Fucking party with the money, ese. “

@redmanlaw: Satie wrote something nobody wanted to hear?

@redmanlaw: Because, I’m not an expert, but pretty much everything I’ve heard of Satie makes me want to cry, in a good way.

And who doesn’t want to cry, in a good way, when they hear great music?

@SanFranLefty: sufficiently chastened, Den Mother.

@Pedonator: It must be hard to celebrate the high holy days in a furrin land. It was only Monday when I learned that Sunday had been that palm frond thing. Missing out on coloring eggs with the biscuits sux. Ma Nabisco is a former commie atheist, so it’s not like I’m missing out on a sunrise service or anything…

@Pedonator: No one gave a fuck while he was alive, from what we know.

@ナビスコ: If you wanna go there, page 214 of the Exorcist (paperback edition) features vaginal crucifix thrusting.

@nojo: Sorry I missed the Harry Shearer piece. Sounds hilarious.

Fave line in a movie is from The Exorcist (which is an altogether very well done movie, I think) Your mother’s sucking cocks in hell. Makes me laugh every time.

well, if that hits your funny bone, you REALLY should have been there when i was in labor…
made linda blair look like shirley temple.

@nojo: This just came up at a party last weekend, and as a consequence I’m now rewatching Coupling again. I would trade all 100+ cable channels we have here for those precious few BBC stations from ‘cross the pond.

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