Going Out With a Bang

So you’re doing a story on the plight of professional porn stars, who are finding it difficult to earn a decent living in the Internet age. What’s the one quote you would kill your fluffer to get?

“It’s pretty bad,” says Ms Mayhem, who has 400 XXX American film credits to her name. “A lot of us are screwed.”

Yeah, that’s the one.

Being a porn star ain’t what it used to be [Brisbane Times, via RML]

File this pron under Things That Make Us Go Awwwwww:

Cute Boys with Cats

@Original Andrew: Girlz and Cats. Thoughts go to Johnny Carson, Rachel Welch, and her lap cat. Nojo for one will get the reference.

@Nabisco: That was zsa zsa gabor, I believe.

@Original Andrew: Wait. Where are the cute ones? I have worked in musical theatre. I have very high standards.

@Promnight: Youtube. The home of the great untalented.

@Capt Howdy: I am humbled by your ecumenicalism. And also scared of your fish. I can just feel him nibbling on my bits.

@Promnight: Hmm, Snopes says the whole thing is apocryphal, and unlikely. Carson was too heavily scrutinized by both the media and the network for it to be allowed on air, even if he ever said it.

Interestingly, the actress cited (Gabor, Welch, Anne-Margaret) apparently relates to the age of the teller – making you my telechronological elder, dude.

@Benedick be Jackpot:
well some of the othes might nibble your bits but not Earl. he is a sweet gentle giant bottom feeder. doesnt have teeth. the only times Earl gives you problems is when you try to catch him.
thick gloves did not completely protect us he is incredibly strong. the only way we were really able to do it is exhaust him.
by the time we got him out of the original tank and into the box and in my car to my house he was so exhausted that when we took him out of the box he didnt even move.
poor baby.
also when they get stressed they do this other thing. its like a buzz. very low frequency but very loud. like rattle your fillings loud.
and he made that weird buzzing sound the whole way to my house. a fish backseat driver.
its such a cool sound you feel guilty for enjoying it because they only do it when they are stressed.
I love him. he is very phalic

@Benedick be Jackpot:
about the ecumenicalism, I refuse to look that up but I got him from a friend who had him since he was about 4 inches long and he could no longer turn around in the tank.

@Capt Howdy: OK . Amirite. You humble me with tales of harmonic sensient fish and I am supposed to do what? order Fillet ‘o Fish at Mickey Ds?

As ichthyologist bitch said while studying the fish off Miami Beach –

“Grouper are so playful they’re like puppies.”

They’re also fucking delicious and also fished out.

@Benedick be Jackpot:
I dont name the ones I get from the supermarket

@Nabisco: Gabor is the only one who could have gotten away with saying “would you like to pet my pussy.”

This would be a fascinating story to use as the basis of a study on the suggestibility of memory, I really could swear I actually heard Johnny say, “Sure, if you move the cat.” Really, I could swear I remember hearing it, but, in all likelihood, I am remembering hearing the story from someone else.

There is a song by the Violent Femmes, where they sing “I can’t even remember, if we were lovers, or I just wanted to, but I held her in my arms, I held her in my arms, I held her in my arms, and it wasn’t you.” That always struck me, when I was young I was hopelessly romantic, tended to fall wildly in love with girls I never even kissed, and on two occasions I was faithful, for years, to girls I never even went with, I was faithful to my unrequited love for them, and if I did have a romantic encounter with another girl, it was in my mind, always, it wasn’t her.

@Capt Howdy: I have to go to bed. I’m not strong. You seen Switzerland animal rights act?

@Promnight: Darling, hello. In Are You Being Served there was always a moment when Mollie Sugden would ‘pet her pussy’. It was what everyone tuned in for. Not a big deal. Just there. Waiting.

KFOG is playing “Black Coffee in Bed” by Squeeze. For no reason other than it’s Friday evening. One of my favorite albums of all time.

@Benedick be Jackpot: Is there a play that has explored that phenomenon maybe only experienced by lonely, awkward boys, who could fall in love completely with someone they had never even touched, and over years of idealizing that never-was love, not even really know, what was real, and what was fantasy, that feeling behind the lyric I quuoted, “I can’t even remember, if we were lovers, or if, I just wanted to,” that amazing mutability of memory, that can make you not even sure, if you were lovers, or not?

@SanFranLefty: Me too, Black Coffee in Bed.

Now you must follow the thread from that song, the lead singer on that song, that was not a regular member of the Squeeze, that might be the only album he was on.

That singer, who sang “black coffee in bed,” is the most famous rock and roll singer in history, whom noone has ever heard of. He is part of the background soundtrack of your life, and you have never heard of him.

Thats Paul Carrack, I think of him as Van Morrison light, he is a singer on that level, almost.

I believe that this man has had more hit singles, with so many different groups, in which he was never the leading man, never a group named after him, that he resides in a unique category in modern pop-rock history. Simply put, he is the most famous person in music that noone has ever heard of

He sang “How Long Has This Been Going On.”

He sang “Black Coffee in Bed.”

He was lead singer for Mike and the Mechanics.

He sang “The Living Years.”

He’s been touring lately doing the vocals for Pink Floyd.

He’s the most famous man noone ever heard of.

These songs were not great, but they were everywhere, for years:

@Promnight & @SanFranLefty:

Quite a trip down memory lane tonight. I’ll add some air gee-tar with The Descendents then kick back mellow with The Stone Roses.

@Nabisco: I have to agree with Prommie that the version of the story I heard involved Zsa Zsa.

However, I’m pretty sure Johnny’s comeback to Arnold Palmer’s wife (who always “kisses his balls” before a tournament) is not apocryphal. And involved a lawsuit.

@Promnight: and how many remember Jools Holland, outside of the few who either saw his late 80s/early 90s late night live band show or the one he’s fronting now? We are brothers – but you’re the Walrus.

@Original Andrew: Love the Descendents. I was going from Squeeze to this band, which burned hot and bright for only a few short years before Pat and Barb K broke up.

@Nabisco: Was he Jools of Jooles and the Polar Bears?

Got a couple of martinis in me and closed out the day playing punk/metal/surf through my cheap Strat copy run thru a Stack in a Box to my desktop speakers. I freak out the kid by invoking the Great God Feedback through them by presenting the vibrating strings to the otherwise innocuous looking speakers, thereby making these little babys scream like the solar wind. I get a good Sonic Youth sound out of them, too. Son of RML is all “Dad, turn that down” and I smile.

@Promnight: I do the mutability of perception. And such as.

@redmanlaw: Was he Jools of Jooles and the Polar Bears? Fortunately no, although I did like “Got No Breeding” (and have the album). Jules Shears.

Nor was he either Jools or Jim, from “Broken Glass”.

love this. my kid would tell me to turn it down too, when she lived with me. i was once afraid her music would cause my madness.turned out i would annoy her with my music, and like you reds, i would smile. ROCK ON BROTHER!

my fave story. bakette and i were driving somewhre and stairway to heaven came on the radio. i sang along. she looked at me with utter shock and said, how do YOU know this song?
i was there babygirl, i was there.

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