The Right to Bear Arms

friday dog video

Love the recorded message angle. ‘I wuv you so much, I would rip my arms out for you, baby. And beat myself to death with the wet ends.’

I predict headlines in small town newspapers all over the country — “returning home after missing Valentine’s day, husband beaten with wooden Hug-E-Gram roses.”

these would be great for those hard to reach places

@karen marie: It’s great how they refer to the crappy five and dime plastic flowers as Long Lasting Roses.

@FlyingChainSaw:
well they are
they will probably last longer in a land fill than the pyramids.

Gotta love commercials where they dub over the actors’ only lines…

@JNOVjr:
actors?

@Capt Howdy: Paw & Order: Special K9 Unit

I love the absolutely wooden acting on the “I love you honey, happy Valentine’s Day” Recorded Message they play. Who wouldn’t melt into a puddle of warm love upon receiving that tinny affirmation of someone’s ability to mechanically speak English into a horrifying pair of disembodied Mickey Mouse arms?

I so want to order them. Can’t make up my mind whether the messge should be You’re fucking retarded or Keep fucking that chicken.

@Benedick: My xon you will dire?

@Benedick: The chicken one.

Poor princess, so put out to receive nothing but flowers…the bitch deserves creepy, plush disembodied arms this year.

@flippin eck: p.s. I’m not bitter or anything…

@IanJ: Still better than anything Yuri Lowenthal‘s ever done…

Y’all are too sentimental, I totally want one of those for Valentine’s Day. Especially if it comes with attachments.

Y’know, for those lonely nights.