The Right to Bear Arms
Why send flowers for Valentine’s Day when you can send talking disembodied arms?
This is Your Hug: Hug-E-Gram [Videogum, via Sully]
Love the recorded message angle. ‘I wuv you so much, I would rip my arms out for you, baby. And beat myself to death with the wet ends.’
I predict headlines in small town newspapers all over the country — “returning home after missing Valentine’s day, husband beaten with wooden Hug-E-Gram roses.”
these would be great for those hard to reach places
@karen marie: It’s great how they refer to the crappy five and dime plastic flowers as Long Lasting Roses.
@FlyingChainSaw:
well they are
they will probably last longer in a land fill than the pyramids.
Gotta love commercials where they dub over the actors’ only lines…
I love the absolutely wooden acting on the “I love you honey, happy Valentine’s Day” Recorded Message they play. Who wouldn’t melt into a puddle of warm love upon receiving that tinny affirmation of someone’s ability to mechanically speak English into a horrifying pair of disembodied Mickey Mouse arms?
I so want to order them. Can’t make up my mind whether the messge should be You’re fucking retarded or Keep fucking that chicken.
@Benedick: My xon you will dire?
@Benedick: The chicken one.
Poor princess, so put out to receive nothing but flowers…the bitch deserves creepy, plush disembodied arms this year.
@flippin eck: p.s. I’m not bitter or anything…
@IanJ: Still better than anything Yuri Lowenthal‘s ever done…
Y’all are too sentimental, I totally want one of those for Valentine’s Day. Especially if it comes with attachments.
Y’know, for those lonely nights.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…