The Right to Bear Arms

Why send flowers for Valentine’s Day when you can send talking disembodied arms?

This is Your Hug: Hug-E-Gram [Videogum, via Sully]

Love the recorded message angle. ‘I wuv you so much, I would rip my arms out for you, baby. And beat myself to death with the wet ends.’

I predict headlines in small town newspapers all over the country — “returning home after missing Valentine’s day, husband beaten with wooden Hug-E-Gram roses.”

these would be great for those hard to reach places

@karen marie: It’s great how they refer to the crappy five and dime plastic flowers as Long Lasting Roses.

well they are
they will probably last longer in a land fill than the pyramids.

Gotta love commercials where they dub over the actors’ only lines…

I love the absolutely wooden acting on the “I love you honey, happy Valentine’s Day” Recorded Message they play. Who wouldn’t melt into a puddle of warm love upon receiving that tinny affirmation of someone’s ability to mechanically speak English into a horrifying pair of disembodied Mickey Mouse arms?

I so want to order them. Can’t make up my mind whether the messge should be You’re fucking retarded or Keep fucking that chicken.

Poor princess, so put out to receive nothing but flowers…the bitch deserves creepy, plush disembodied arms this year.

@IanJ: Still better than anything Yuri Lowenthal‘s ever done…

Y’all are too sentimental, I totally want one of those for Valentine’s Day. Especially if it comes with attachments.

Y’know, for those lonely nights.

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