Tweety

Its like listening to your diner waitress, or your WalMart checkout clerk, talk about foreign policy. Its insane, its completely insane, this woman gets air time, gets taken seriously, gets $100,000 to spout this idiocy.

How many of us were contemplating emigration, when Bush was president? We thought Bush was the problem. He wasn’t the problem, he was a symptom, and the problem is still there, and now that you can see, that the problem is so much deeper than Bush, it makes emigration even more imperative.

@Promnight: I liked London, I really did. Question is, can I earn enough to live there? Depending on what you are buying, things there are 30, 40, maybe 50 percent more than in Manhattan.

@Promnight: Here in Santa Fe, your waitress probably has an MFA and is between trips to exotic locales.

We’ll always have our gardens. We can dream of day lilies and tables in the shade as they line us up at the trench.

For a minute, I thought TPM was taking headlines from Stinque:

Hoyer: Dicks Likely To Replace Murtha As Defense Approp. Chair

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/02/hoyer-dicks-likely-to-replace-murtha-as-defense-approp-chair.php?ref=fpa

That guy’s campaign signs must get stolen CONSTANTLY.

“Dicks for Congress”
“Choose Dicks”
“Dicks Will Stand Tall For This Community”

:)

Oh, Stinquers, I am at the end of my rope, not snark, not porn, not nothing can raise my spirits. Two months of crippling back pain. The Mrs. prom has been off jetting around the world, every single week since the beginning of the year, leaving me the single parent all week. Snowstorms, back pain, the terminal stupidude of US society, loneliness, the wretched commute, aggravating the back, working at Dunder Mifflin, dogs pissing inside because they don’t want to go out in the snow thats over their heads, withdrawal from the morphine that I stopped taking last Friday. Being near 50 and living a life I never envisioned, wanted, planned for, recognizing that my own fundamental weaknesses and flaws have created all my problems, seeing no way out, and my time on earth is 2/3rds over, and its all downhill from here. Fuck, fucking fuckety fucking fuck. Fuck, damn, and fuck.

I thought that this was it, having a nice suburban house, a nice respectable job, a wonderful, beautiful wife, this was supposed to be it, I was promised fulfillment, if I just went along and got along and did what was expected. I was promised fulfillment and happiness, damn it, I was promised the Swedish Bikini Team if I just drank Old Milwaukee, I was promised career advancement, if I used the right cologne, what has happened?

@al2o3cr: Just off the top of my dick:

Vote Dick.

Dick. Dick. Dick.

Choose Dick

We need Dick.

Come back Dick.

Where is Dick when we need it him?

Fuck Bush. Choose Dick.

@blogenfreude: Apart from the fact that it’s full of limeys stinking up the subway, London is an attractive city. The cost of living is much higher than here in USAnistan but one gets a bigger bang for one’s elected official. Which is why I live here in the land of benighted peasants in a house I could never dream of affording Over There.

@Promnight: My life began at 50. Put the dogs in a crate. Buy a snow shovel and make a place for the dogs. Say hi to Mrs Prom. Cherish Prom Jr. Move to Iceland. Love you.

Oh, and plus, I love Dick.

@Promnight: I found out today that a dear friend, who had just celebrated 5 years cancer free after treatment for breast cancer, has uterine cancer. She’s 58. I just hope she lives long enough to retire from her shitty, stressful job as a legal secretary to a bunch of evil greedy defense lawyers. She’s alone, has no significant other, elderly parents whose health is failing, no one, nothing, to fall back on.
I am sick, I am angry, and I am drunk. When is bad shit going to happen to the people who deserve it? This sucks.

This is advocating random mayhem. “Sure, hey, Obama needs to show the world he is dedicated to confronting terrorists and their collaborators, you know, in places like San Francisco. Call in a wing, you know, hit the Castroid with a coupla tactical nukes, send the Al Qaeda huggers to hell and show America what side’s he on.”

DOTUS in the snow! DOTUS in the snow!

@Mistress Cynica: Would she talk to me? You have my real life address?

Now here is exactly why I am unhappy. The snow has started to fall, its falling thick and fast. Normally, right now, I would be looking to go to bed ASAP, because, in the morning, there looms the commute and Dunder Mifflin for another day, and though I feel no need to be alert and aware during the work day, I do feel I owe it to my family to remain awake during my 80 minutes driving that 2-lane road through the pine barrens; I don’t carry enough life insurance to feel comfortable with falling asleep and driving off the road into a tree (and this is a real worry, many a night I do pull off onto side-roads in the woods, call Mrs, and ask her to call me back in 15 minutes, because I have to take a nap, to be able to make it the rest of the way home).

But tonight, the snow is starting to fall, a forecasted major storm, and I already know that tomorrow will be a Snow Day, my office will be closed, and I will have that rare and adolescent treat, a Snow Day! Officially proclaimed by Mayor Quimby as The Funnest Day Ever!

So, I have a free night, after a bad, despairing day. The snow is starting to fall, thick, silencing everything, its beautiful!

Tomorrow I have a rare, bonus free day, like a secret day, have you ever imagined what it would be like if, while playing chess, if every so often, you could get one “extra” move, just one more move than your opponent, imagine that, how totally you would destroy anyone who played you, if, even only once a game, you got to take one extra, secret, un-answered move, if only one time, you were allowed 2 moves in one turn, has anyone ever imagined that?

Thats what a snow day is like, a totally gratuitous free “catch-up” day, it gives you a bonus free 24 hours, but without the clock ticking!

So I have that totally joyous thing, sure Snow Day, coming up. I am free to stay up late, and watch the snow fall like a little kid, enjoy watching the weather, adults, we don’t have that freedom as much as we should, just to sit and watch a storm rise, its the best show, watching the weather, but it takes free time, time you would not feel guilty about spending doing something so low priority as just watching the weather change.

Thats what I am doing, as I write this, watching the snow accumulate, its beautiful.

And just somehow, as a human being, free white and 21, as the rednecks I grew up around used to say, (and they say there is no racism anymore) I feel I should be allowed to enjoy this fucking treat. This free day. Enjoy it without guilt and the pressing dread of responsibility.

But no, no, no. Each moment I “steal,” and thats the perfect word, each moment I steal, to sit here, stay up late, philosophize on the internet, watch the snow, each moment I “steal” to do that, is literally a theft, that I owe these moments, all of them, to others. That I am transgressing, that I am morally wrong, bad, evil, to want to selfishly claim these moments. That all my moments and all my energies are spoken for, and I am stealing from those who have their rights on my time, when I, as I am doing now, writing this, taking some time to do what I love, just for me.

I am pwned.

@redmanlaw: Some kind of blackdog in snow. Whatever.

@Promnight: Darling, no. You work to provide for your snow days. They are the real thing. So enjoy.

@Promnight: email me directions to the restaurant, or wherever you are. when I’m done w/ the hideous project I’m on, I will get a Zipcar, drive down there, and we will dope-slap each other into relevance. I need it too – don’t fail me.

@Promnight: Stop over-analyzing and enjoy your snow day. Take prom jr out sledding. Make hot chocolate. Carpe diem!

@blogenfreude: See, I need friends, so that we can get together fairly regularly, and dope slap each other back into, whatever, whether “reality” or the coping mechanism we have adopted, whatever. Where are you, NYC? There is an express bus from the Port Authority bus terminal that gets you to a stop right by here, no stops, Port Authority to Toms River, and you’d be here faster than I could drive. We don’t need no existential crisis to get together and dope-slap sense into each other, its what friends should be doing regularly. So, whatcha doing this weekend, next weekend, come down, and let me feel useful by cooking, its the only thing I can do anymore, bring a date.

@Promnight: Stinque Fight Club?

@Mistress Cynica: I’m not over-analyzing, these claims on my time are quite vocally and directly announced, with frequency.

@redmanlaw: You know, dude, how it goes with the boys, no need for fight club, us dudes, we just rip on each other, verbal abuse, with love. I do think its therapeuatic, I miss it, I have no “dude” friends anymore, its all business couples and parents on the sports teams, I have to be on best behavior.

@Promnight: Dude friends are priceless, that I know even if I’m a ghey. Most of my man-frends don’t share my love of cock.

So Dude, you need to get a grip, I’m the last one to tell you this, I seriously need to get a grip. My job is starting to get serious again, and I need to feed that displaced ambition if I want to cash in.

Also I’m trying to find reasons at home to get a grip. Like trying stupidly extravagant kitchen experiments, and I think you know what I mean.

Bottom line is, get a grip. Things will be better tomorrow. Unless the mainstream media finally recognizes the inherently unsustainable nature of our entire economy, and the way WE have arranged things to be. OK, then, you have permission to completely freak out. Because finally, everyone around you will be freaking out too.

Until then, please, keep a grip, contemplate ARK possibilities, and kiss your children when they go to sleep.

@Promnight:
I know that Opiate based drugs fuck me up pretty bad from experience. Not the “high” but the withdrawal as I start fighting dark thoughts which is why I’m not a fan of painkillers. It sounds like the withdrawal black dog has bitten you deep.

You need to get some sleep, lay off the morphine and try to think some happy thoughts. The dark moods shall pass. It takes time as the shit leaves your system.

Grow! Grow!

We humans are the only life-forms in history that can grow without end, into infinity, without recourse to corrections, consuming everything in our path. The ECONOMY is what matters.

And the ECONOMY requires infinite growth, GDP+. Without GDP+ we minions cannot expect to improve or even maintain our quality of life, or even life itself!

And we must extend this beneficence of upwardly mobile accumulation of stuff to every corner of the world, showering the unwashed masses with the desire to accumulate our worldly goods.

That is how we sustain Growth!

Gobsmacking.

@Promnight: Wish I were there, man. You know how I dealt with my existential crisis, so I second the motion that you take pleasure in the free day you will have with Jr. today and deal with the Dunder Miflin mundane tomorrow.

Or soon as Mrs. Prom is back for any stretch of time, jet on over here. I can’t begin to describe how interesting even the most basic streetcorner curry is. “Seventy cents for that?” I want to yell, sure that I’ve been given bad information on the local exchange rate.

@karen marie:

they CHANGED Leviticus ? i read it twice to make sure.
so ironic. they won’t just change a ridiculous policy, they have to change the bible to do it. i’m speechless before such idiocy.

@karen marie: Thank you for sharing. First the Anglicans in Uganda and now this? I thought the point of being a Christian was that Jesus amended the Mosaic law to free us of its intolerance. I thought that was the whole point. And that moran doesn’t even know how to spell ‘Leviticus! It’s a foul old book. Compare that with Homer’s work – probably written around the same time – and see what a world we lost. Why did the Athenians turn out to be fucking retards? Why did they have to invade Iraq Sicily? Why did they let the terrorists Spartans win? Why??? Why???

@karen marie:
forgive them. they are terrified. they know they have lost.