Monty Python’s Life of Carly

If we undertand the visuals correctly, Carly Fiorina thinks California Republicans are a bunch of sheep. Which sounds about right to us.

[via TPM]

Ok, really, a 3:21 attack ad? Who wants to sit through that much bullshit. This is the post-MTV generation, Carly. Cut it down to :15 and call me back.

AAAUGH! You summoned her in the banner ad! She looks all bite-y!!!!!

The kind of geniuz expected from the deposed dipshit of HP.

It is baaaad.

@ManchuCandidate: But consider her audience. The Repub primary in Calfornia is a test for who is the nuttiest. Schwarzenegger never had to run in the primary — he probably wouldn’t have won one.

GOPer Primary = Mounds Almond Primary?

“Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t…”

Ewe’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

@Dodgerblue: The Repub primary in Calfornia is a test for who is the nuttiest.

We can only hope…

Between this, FrankenCoroner, the Supreme Court ruling, and GOP primaries, we may have a bumper crop of fun ads the next few months.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: No Carly here, but Amazon is offering a batch o’ Python DVDs.

@nojo: As always, it’s trying to sell me a Nexus One.


No, there in the not-the-msnbc ad! There she is!


People who come out of corporate, in my limited experience, seem not really well suited to politics. Yes, there is “politics” in the corporate world, and to get to the top you do have to assemble a group of supporters and battle competing groups, but its not quite the same as real government politics. The difference is that once you get to the top in corporate, you are much more of an autocrat, your power is much greater, than in politics. A CEO really does not have to worry about any faction or troublemaker within the organization, where even the President has to deal with that separation of powers, and judges and legislators with their own entrenched power bases who can fuck with them.

CEOs are entitled, spoiled, and very used to getting their way, with no need to be diplomatic about it. Their egos, in my experience, are even bigger than politician’s egos, and their ability to get along amicably with rivals, less so than real politicians.

Carly here seems to be, maybe, overriding her campaign people, and thus, is fucking up.

Oh good lord, I actually watched it, what a fucking horror.

This being about a Republican, I was frankly relieved to make it through without seeing an innocent sheep sexually assaulted.

But the whole premise, depicting the true “fiscal conservatives” as sheep, and the false fiscal conservative as a sheep in wolf’s clothing, sheep? Fucking sheep are represented as the good guys? Oh, thats appealing, my political movement is a herd of sheep, and I should not elect this guy because he is a false sheep, we need to like, be good sheep and follow the true sheep-leader?

Wow, yay, I want to sign up to be a good sheep.

Follow the herd, thats true conservative values, this is absurd, who the fuck thought this shit was like, huh?

It only make sense at the level of the wolf-in-sheeps’-clothing metaphor but it never pays off by having Tom toss off the costume and bite the throats of the sheep to express the, I think, consequential aspect of the metaphor of the sheep as taxpayers who are being stalked and exploited.

Tom could easily respond that what he did kept the bond ratings from cratering and costing California alpine ranges of dough and go after Carly for nearly destroying one of the most important companies in California. I’ve talked to old DEC guys who ended up (through the Compaq acquisition) in HP when Carly was running the show and, in operational terms, she was a complete disaster. She restructured stuff that made the company almost unmanageable from the standpoint of sales and support and inside sales engineers perspectives who maintain relationships with customers.

Hey Nojo I’m using the Stinque mobile on the iPhone. Very groovy. But how do I reply to others’ comments?

@Dodger: And these two are the moderates in the primary!

@FCS: From what I can tell from talking to old HPers or contractors, the thing she was good at was talking to the media at a time when most computer co CEOs were anti-social and/or hadn’t had media training.

Mutton doin’. I’m not gonna watch a 3 minute ad.

@SanFranLefty: But how do I reply to others’ comments?

Right now, you don’t. Stinque Mobile is a packaged WordPress plug-in with few customization options at the moment. (It can be hacked, but that makes upgrades a lot more difficult.)

However, the next major version promises custom templates — and that’s when I plan on incorporating the reply button, plus larger text. (It’s just a tad tiny on the iPhone.)

@nojo: awesome! Mr SFL may be buying an appliance via Amazon, I will make sure it goes through the kickback linque. We should at least defray the server expense and some of your tech time!

@SanFranLefty: Maybe true but the customers matter because they write the purchase orders. Journalists write nonsensical crap that in no way will influence a manager who has to make a business case for a piece of technology or service contract. The big story out your way of an established and deeply troubled technology company being pulled out of a power dive and into profitability is Xerox, run by a trooper of an Irish woman who was pretty much invisible until a lot of the hard work was done. Carly sounds like a prototypical sociopathic corporate climber that’s all ambition and MBA-speak with none of the skill, experiential insight and slogging dedication of her Xerox contemporary.

@Nojo: I really like the elegant icons between the main post and comments on the mobile version. Even if it’s a wordpress plug-in, it’s cleaner than the WP plug-ins and widgets I’ve been dealing with lately (I may need to consult with you off line).

@FCS: You’re preaching to the choir here w/r/t Ms Fiorina. She used to have an annoying habit of showing up at area colleges when still CEO and giving speeches where she’d cloak herself in the “I manage differently because I’m a woman and people hate me because I’m a lady!!” while I have no doubt she’s encountered sexism like every other woman in the world, it would piss me off because I would mutter “No Carly, they hate you because you’re a narcisstic moron and stop saying that’s how women manage because you’re insulting us ladies and making the rest of us sound like idiots.”

Argh!! And no ability to edit and clean up my typos from using the iStinque. You try punching the keys after a few glasses of wine! And I wasn’t even at a titty bar with Tommcatt..

ADD: nevermind, the “Click to edit” button suddenly appeared to me…

@SanFranLefty: WPtouch

Very well-conceived — doesn’t require adjustments to regular templates. It also has the Crackberry and Android phones in mind, but I haven’t seen how it looks on those.

However, it doesn’t address how I’ve hacked comments for replies and editing. We’ll see whether the upcoming version offers the flexibility I expect.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Ancient Indian curse, yo.

@SanFranLefty, Nojo: Liked Stinque Mobile but I could not get the comments to open.

@SanFranLefty: We got Mrs RML’s Mac iSmug from the stinque linque.

@redmanlaw: That’s interesting. You on a Crackberry?

@redmanlaw: Well, they say the Storm is “officially supported,” but I don’t have one to mess with.

Then again, I’ll probably default the comments to open with the new version, since “Latest Comments” doesn’t work with them closed. All the fun’s below the timestamp, after all.

Holy fuck… could you imagine sitting through one of her PowerPoint presentations when she was running HP? You’d either be bored to tears or biting your finger in a vain attempt to keep from laughing.

Anyway… if Fiorina saw this ad before it ran and did nothing to stop it, that’s clear proof she isn’t fit to be a school crossing guard, let alone governor.

@Serolf Divad:
I thought her “wonderful” mismanagement of HP was a pretty good indicator.

@FlyingChainSaw: I worked at an office, in the early 90s, that had the whole Xerox “windows” system. It was old, then, now, it should be in a museum. It was wondrous, amazing, fantastic, and 20 years before its time. Tragedy, that not catching on.

This berryPhone discussion makes me sad. I miss my fancy phone but I had to give it back when I left my job and now I have nothing left to play with when I’m out in the world and bored.

Is this some kind of *wink wink* coded message to California’s Republican furverts?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: El telephono muy que suave set me back $49 when I reupped with Verizon for two years a few months ago.

@Promnight: What was that thing called, PARC or XPARC or something like that? First GUI (graphical user interface), predating the Apple, and the first mouse if I recall correctly.

@Original Andrew: I was quite disappointed we didn’t get any red-eyed-devil-sheep-furvert-on-sheep action. Must be RINOs as well as FCINOs.

@redmanlaw: Xerox Palo Alto Research Center. Jobs paid them a visit in the late ’70s; Lisa/Macintosh was the result.

Many details in between, but if I state any of them, the geeks shall descend in wrath.

@nojo: The CRT monitors were tall and narrow, 8.5 by 11, one whole sheet of paper at a time on the screen.

The files, they were depicted as manilla files, with the filename written on the tab, and you put them in drawers in filing cabinets, that you named also.

For word processing, document management, it was just so perfect and intuitive and elegant.

@Serolf Divad: @nojo:

An ad like that is evidence of a severely narcissistic personality. She’s got “Imperial Executive” written all over her.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I done tole ya.

I am hard pressed to think of an advertisement that even comes close to being this bad. Its funny, I have so many “worst” lists in my mind, worst movies, worst songs, worst fashions, but I don’t have a “worst advertisements” list. No room, now.

Oh, hey, by the way, stinquey friends, I got my epidural steroid shots today, and because I could not find someone to give me a ride home, I had to go with just the local anesthetic.

Worst Motherfucking Pain I have ever experienced. My hair stood on end, fire and crushing, thunder and lightening, it was like a 3-foot long toothache when the dentist hits the nerve. Holy fuck, is all I got to say, I made the alarm go off by holding my breath till my blook oxygen fell too much.


Do you feel better now, though? That’s the important thing.

@Promnight: I’m sure we could find a worse ad if we tried. But I’m still hung up on the notion that the target audience would be flattered by being depicted as a bunch of sheep. Is there a fundie “flock” message that we’re missing?

@nojo: Thats what got me. I really doubt there is a fundie “flock” meme, this is supposedly aimed at “fiscal conservatives,” anyway. Nope, its just dumb, just really stupid.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I can’t tell if I feel better because I went straight home and took twice my usual morphine dose. I feel great, I mean, but I have no idea how my back responded.


It’s the kind of creative you get when an executive comes up with something and everyone is too scared to tell her it is the dumbest thing ever.

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