Apple iPad Surprises World

Unique two-handed gestures make you relive the wonder of childhood.

Update: We’re sorry, we were fooled by a vicious Internet hoax. Here it is!

[Gizmodo Liveblog]
103 Comments

@Capt Howdy: Probably big price, too, but Jobs is holding off the heartbreaker for the end.

but seriously
I think its pretty cool. all the capabilities of an IPhone ON an IPhone never made that much sense to me. the screen is to damn small.

I may just hafta get one o these puppies.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve got ladybits, but iPad sounds like some sort of menstrual management product. That’s why I had my money on the iTab.

Giz: “The SDK includes an iPad simulator to run the iPad apps on the Mac.”

Golly, I’m trying to learn Cocoa, but I keep getting distracted.

@Capt Howdy: Technically, all the capabilities of an iPod Touch. No phone mentioned.

@Capt Howdy: Since I use my iPhone primarily for couch-browsing on my back, I’m in the target market. Remains to be seen whether I’m in the target price range…

@nojo:
whatever it is wait a month or so and it will be half that

@Capt Howdy: More like a year, but yes.

@SanFranLefty: Are you daring me to mock up an iMaxiPad?

@nojo: Pleeeeeeeeeeeezzzeee??? Double dog dare you, Nojo!

In other news, your Kindle is a doorstop.

@Capt Howdy: @SanFranLefty: Looks like MadTV beat me to it. Which is fine, because I need to do paying work at some point today.

Wow, it’s a badge you can carry around the proves you would pay Jobs to deliver a hot lunch.

That Apple thing looks like one of those $298 little tiny computers they sell at Wal-Mart and Office Depot these days. Two of my partners have them and kilt the hard drives within weeks of getting them. iWonder if the new iThing will have the same problem.

@SanFranLefty: Named after a diet soda from the days of yore?

@FlyingChainSaw: Well, no — my iPhone and Apple Touchy-Feely Wireless Mouse already prove that.

I never bought a VCR until after that Sony-VHS thingy settled out. Looks like Ima let this one settle, too.

I feel sorry for whoever has to hose down the auditorium when this is done.

@redmanlaw: Netbooks? I hear mixed reviews, but cheap is cheap.

@redmanlaw:
apple is usually much better at dealing with that stuff than walmart.

my coworkers and I, artists, are wondering if it will have the capability to use a stylus with paint type programs.
we hope it does.

@nojo:
and the seats.
you know the nerds are sliding right off them

16-gig base model: $499.

Hello, freelance business deduction!

@nojo:
thats impressive.
can you say windfall profits.

When I bought my Air I knew it was going to make me happy. And it did! Strangely, though, it didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would. Oh sure, I’m happy. But I’m not happy happy happy. What I’m thinking is that if I buy one of these iMaxiPads I will be happier. I’m not sure what I’d do with it but it would be awesome. No. It would be sick!

@nojo: So you post while lying down. Hmmm. I’m guessing you like to get comfortable. Maybe a bathrobe? Interesting.

@Prommie: I got one in 2003 – combined with a DVD-A/V and CD player. Technology finally came down to a decent price point

@Benedick:
it would be sweet

and about the laying down thing. I do that with my computer running thru my HD and wireless keyboard and mouse.
I want this for real on the go access.

@Benedick: No, I post sitting up. I read and write lying down.

Geek confession: I write longhand. In a notebook. Gizmos still can’t beat the tactile feedback of pen and paper.

@nojo: All their crap is overpriced but the fact that the laptops are well-built enough to repaired and maintained sets them apart in the laptop market. You can run a MB Pro for years and years with normal maintenance. Windows laptops are so beggared by the cost of the OS the OEMs just despair and bundle the crappiest parts and cheapest fabrication techniques, fuck all. Not worth repairs so you end up having to buy one every year or 18 moths. The MBs end up a relative bargain. The desktop machines are horrifically overpriced compared to branded stuff and not even close if you go white box custom build. You can erect a Windows or Linux machine that will fry your face for under $1000.

@FlyingChainSaw:
having just went thru absolute hell with a stupid virus infection.
THAT alone is enough to justify the price afaiac.

ps
windows SUCKS . I have vowed to never never NEVER buy another windows product.
and I have never owned a mac.

@mellbell: The RML Rule is never buy the cheapest. You can often get away with the second cheapest. It’s worked for me in TVs and PC laptops so far.

Another RML Rule: Don’t buy the first model of a new thingie, which I violated when I got my BB Storm which was immediately Kindled by the Storm 2.0 “now with ‘2.0’ added to the name”. I had my eye on a Ruger SR9 9mm pistol last year, first run of a new model. Recalled. Meanwhile, I was well past 2,000 rounds with my Glock 19 (introduced in 1984), after which I quit counting.

@Capt Howdy: Wait ’til the virus writers find you Apple guys. When the day comes it’ll be like a home invasion on someone who doesn’t lock the front door.

@redmanlaw:
na
its about the operating system.
they cant get in.
micersoft is the one that left the fucking doors unlocked.

@Capt Howdy:
True, I have a Macbook and I’m never going back. Also the added bonus of not dealing with family computer problems. My family is what we in the tech bidniz call A Royal Pain In the Ass customer. I’ve tried to help but they keep not listening or pissing me off so when I went to Mac, they called, and I kept telling them “You should have gotten a Mac.” This went on for a couple of months till they got sick and tired of my smug replies. Now they pester the Local Geek Guys and I’m happier.

@FlyingChainSaw: I can’t argue with the Apple Hardware Tax, but then my PowerBook lasted seven years — and would have kept on going, but it was finally underpowered for my needs.

Meanwhile, my early G4 sits on the floor to my left, gathering dust. No need for another desktop beastie.

Windows and Linux? Hey, pal, I have work to do. Apple’s secret sauce is Unix under the hood, which means I can develop sites on my laptop using Apache and MySQL, and not deal with servers until I’m ready.

For me, at least, the extra “expense” is easily amortized over the life and utility of the product.

Aaaand Johnny Mill and Elizabeth Edwards wisely announce their separation as the iMaxiPad is unveiled. Was this the final straw for Elizabeth?

@SanFranLefty:
That was the final straw for me. Watching Preggo pron, not my thing.

@SanFranLefty: Will he be living with that space alien he spawned with?

@SanFranLefty: /James Ellroy spoiler alert/Edwards should go out in Haiti like Wayne Tedrow, Jr. did in “The Blood’s a Rover”, hammered on voodoo drugs and set upon by guys with machetes.

@redmanlaw: I was wondering if Edwards was going to send guys with machetes after Alien Chick given when he found out she was knocked up he told his aide “Go take care of this” – most benign interpretation being to pay her to have an abortion.

@redmanlaw: I fully assent to the RML 2.0 rule. Then again, I’m still very happy with my 4gig iPhone.

@nojo: Long hand in 2B lead on index cards up to a certain point then… iMac, take me away!

@SanFranLefty: I have reached out to Johnny in his time of need.

@nojo: We got Son of RML a calligraphy set. I’m teaching him about papers, finishes, letter forms, etc. One Christmas I gave Mrs RML a nicely lettered prayer that I lifted from the homily at Mass.

‘Bout ready to call it a day. Too little sleep due to a client matter since Monday. So what the drinking game tonight? Glad Mythbusters moved to Monday so it won’t conflict with the Speech. Idiot local paper is running an unfiltered comment thread on FB, so you know RWH8 is getting the word out to make Santa Fe “look conservative.”

@redmanlaw: I flew over Santa Fe on my way to DC on Sunday. You folks have a lotta snow.

@redmanlaw: Papers? Like Bambu, Zig-Zag, EZ-Wider? I dig that nostalgia, damn high test herbs these days, its one-hit bowls or you gonna die.

@redmanlaw: Can’t find it now, but I read something (a Times blog post?) a few days ago that said the focus would be 3 Rs, reform, recovery, and one other thing “rescue, restore and rebuild.” If I can figure out what the third one was, we should drink when he hits the trifecta.

@SanFranLefty: Remember, she is batshit crazy, and thinks the kid is going to be the second coming. Everyone says “ohmygod,” fucking around, and no protection, too, what a total idiot he is.” But I tell you this, if Loonie Tunes Rielle isn’t the kind who would go get the condoms out of the trash after he left and squeeze the contents into a turkey baster, then I am Marie Brizard.

@Dodgerblue: 31 inches at the ski area, more tonight.

@Capt Howdy: Slit wrists on “middle class”.

@mellbell: No, took a two-hopper back to LA yesterday. I thought of emailing you but I wound up with zero open time except for the flight delay from Dulles.

@redmanlaw: I’ve never seen as much snow on the San Gabriels as after last week’s week-long storm.

@Prommie:
not me man
I smoke fatties. no matter how much it costs.
its my way.
and, joint rolling is becomming a lost art. partly I suppose because of what you mention.
my coworkers are much more impressed by my joint rolling abilities than my effects experience.

@Capt Howdy:
heh..i have competetion now.
my friends all marvel and ask me how i roll to such perfection.
the answer of course, as in all things… …practice.

dexter season 3/episodes 1, 2, and 3 are in da house!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:
yes, but only a little, and it’s more fun. i don’t know why, it just is.
i like Job btw.

howdy and i will maintain the lost art and tradition.

@Capt Howdy: I was the Designated Roller in high school. I once twisted one up in the back of a pickup going 70.

@Prommie:
i forgot about that. but you’re out of practice. can you still do it? is it like riding a bike or do you lose the dexterity and finesse?

also, i would like john edwards to die. thank you.

@baked: I have not had the opportunity to try in so long, I don’t even know. Its best not to know, I think.

I am rapidly becoming decrepit, I cannot walk, I cannot drink like I used to, and yet need to drink even more, what with stuff and things and whatnot.

I suffer from CRS (can’t remember shit) syndrome, I ache, I wheeze and gasp if I have to climb steps, I can’t see. Its all downhill, and getting steeper.

Fuck it.

@SanFranLefty: +1

@nojo: Yesssss.

@nojo: Oh good lord! I am *not* an early adopter. The closest I get is my 2nd gen TiVo, which is still kicking it and will keep kicking it because of its lifetime service package, but seriously. I might quit smoking long enough to buy one. But I don’t need one. Idon’tneedoneIdon’tneedone…

@Capt Howdy: I have killed Packard Bells, Dells, Gateways, ThinkPads, but my MB has served me sooo well, I mean, I could’ve saved a small fortune or bought two or three MBs for the price of all the PCs I’ve killed. (Yes, it was the pr0n.)

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Let me see your bong-bah-bah-dah-bong! Speaking of which, downstairs neighbor is now getting high. We get the smell without the contact. I think I’m going to go downstairs and Bogart or scare the shit out of him. Decisions, decisions…

@Prommie:
true story
I was taught to roll by my father, mostly a worthless piece of shit, but the one good thing he did was teach me how to roll. he smoked roll your own.
I have SEEN him roll one while driving with the windows down.
@baked:
indeed
practice
exciting about Dexter

@Benedick:
Steve Martin, while filming Pennies From Heaven, remarked that learning how to tap dance was like being hit by a truck. every day.

@baked: Can still roll’em.

@Benedick: My wife studied dance for many years and is now taking a tap class. She picks up new steps very quickly. But she cannot run a football pass pattern to save her life. How many times have we gone through this (football on the beach) — go straight out for 5 yards then cut diagonally left across the middle. Do I really have to say “and keep running and look at me so I don’t hit you in the head with the ball and if you do catch it run like a bunny for the goal line”?

@Dodgerblue:

My Only Touchdown

We were in 8th grade, and instead of being tortured with field hockey, we were allowed to play flag football with the dudes. Simon, my first crush and absolute jackass about it, was our QB. I can run far, but I can’t run fast, and everybody knew it, so no one bothered to cover me.

I hung back near the line of scrimmage. Simon couldn’t find anyone open, so he flipped it to me. I caught it! And I ran my heart out for the TD.

(We’re going to ignore the part about my sweatshirt being wrapped around my waist and covering the flag, and we’ll ignore the part where my TD was brought back to the LOS.)

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:
also
I am very excited because I found a new connection for something called Decatur Dirt (that would be Decatur IL). which is basically what I always smoked before the 400 bucks an oz shit took over the market. I still prefer it because of the way I like to smoke it.

@Capt Howdy: These days with VMWare you can put up a box and run any OS you want except, legally, OSX through there is a large cult of people building Hackintoshes and reporting fine performance. Window SP3 is stable. If I were building this box now, though, I’d boot something odd right out of the loader like Solaris through VMWare use it for everything except for things I need to use in Windows – which would run as a VM. Biggest exposure is email, web and IM, all of which could be contained in an OS of no interest at all to criminal syndicates.

@FlyingChainSaw:
but you have to be a bit of a tech head to do that. I am not. and am not interested in being one. much to the dismay of many of my past employers.
with a mac you can take it out of the box and plug it in and not worry about opening a fucking email or visiting a porn site.

I am lazy.

Westboro Baptist Church’s full NorCal schedule – they are going to be busy. I think it’s hilarious that they are picketing the headquarters of Twitter and two musicals, and not just the usual Jewish suspects.

@Prommie:

are you taking the lortab? i’m guessing no, or you wouldn’t be such a kvetch. GO TAKE 2 PILLS RIGHT NOW!!

@baked: Or he needs to find some weed on the Shore. You wouldn’t think it’d be that hard…

@SanFranLefty:
I have often thought I would like to have a conversation with one of them.
because I really cant imagine the mentality.

@SanFranLefty: Alls he needs ta do is go down to Stockton. The kids aren’t stingy with their weed.

@JNOV:
they are a family of lawyers. they probably go bankrupt once a year.

@Capt Howdy: Heh. Although I disagreed with the decision but was happy with the result, a PA atty won $2M(?) judgment against them a few years back. Maybe I’ll see what happened there.

@JNOV and Capt Howdy: I really want to go stand in the midst of them with a sign that says something like “God Hates Polyester” or “I Suck Donkey Dicks” or something more creative like some of the people inserting themselves amongst teabaggers did this summer.

@SanFranLefty: God Hates Shrimp.

@JNOV: Jesus Had Two Daddies.

@Capt Howdy: That movie was choreographed by a master, Danny Daniels. He taught Martin to tap and also Savion Glover.

@Benedick: I’ve seen Savion Glover a few times here in LA. That guy can move.

@SanFranLefty: Or ‘Jesus Loved His Apostles from Behind, Frequently, With All His Might’

@Capt Howdy: Re: Decatur Dirt (that would be Decatur IL) – I hope it isn’t like inhaling ADM/Staley emissions. Though Kraftco in C/U ain’t no f’ing rose garden, either.

@AARPrick: Berkeley brown. Had to smoke a boatload of that stuff to get a buzz on. Came with twigs in it.

A question I’ve long pondered: Am I the only one here who – and not for lack of opportunity, to be sure – has never smoked pot?

@nojo: Right, you made all that tax back on the laptop – which is a recurring story. I’ve met I dunno how many people who get 5-6-7 years out of a Mac laptop. I know if they were running Windows-tax burdened OSes they have gone through 3-5 laptops easily.

@mellbell: I’ve never done smack or hallucinogens, if that makes you feel better.

@mellbell: I tried a couple of times, but it was most unpleasant and gave me no buzz whatsoever. I’ll take a martini any day. And for efficiency and portability, nothing beats xanax.

@Mistress Cynica: “And for efficiency and portability, nothing beats xanax.”

And I nominate you for tomorrow’s Tweet. Or at least that should be on a coffee cup.

@JNOV: Cocaine has always scared the fuck out of me, thanks to Len Bias. Never touched the stuff in my life. I flee parties if someone pulls it out, and I’ve kicked people out of my car when they’ve whipped it out.

@JNOV: @mellbell: @redmanlaw:

i haven’t had a great laugh since sergio died. FCS made me chuckle, but *crickets* set me off. i’m giggling like a fool. for the record, i only use pot, martini’s, and xanax along with crazy meds. never tried heroin, and i licked my last of orange sunshine in 1974. i am curious about ecstasy, my daughter (!) told me i would like it.

and noje, i write in longhand too! all different color pens on legal pads.
the only time i type is when i’m scribbling here or facebook. know who else writes strictly in longhand? woody allen.

lefty, yes…cocaine, YUCK.

Wonder when Apple will come out with an iPud. Gawd knows I would buy one of those.

@AARPrick: Don’t know about that, but iGrow, “the Wal-Mart of weed,” is opening today in Oakland

@SanFranLefty: Oh you left coasters are such a prize. Now if you can find water for the hydroponics you will be in business…

@AARPrick: It’s an El Nino year, so in the past two weeks we’ve had two days where it didn’t rain the entire day. Snowpack is growing in the Sierras, just so long as NorCal can keep SoCal from sucking it all dry, we might even have water in our rivers up here salmon again this fall.

@mellbell: I took a few tokes (is that even the right word?) off someone’s joint in Amsterdam because it’s practically required. But like Cynica, it did nothing for me. I’ve heard that’s often the case with first-timers, but I’ve never had any desire to try again. Also, I’ve never tried a cigarette. My dad is a respiratory therapist and that’s the one youthful indiscretion that he wouldn’t have forgiven–pregnancy probably would’ve been a more welcome alternative. The one smoking experience I have enjoyed and would totally recommend/do again, though, are hookahs. That nice mild apple tobacco and the gurgling, bubbly sound are so relaxing.

@SanFranLefty: Inch and a half of snow on the ground between 7 and 830 am. Nice and dry, unlike the really wet stuff we got in the last two or three storms. The mountains just outside of town probably got dumped on last night.

Yup. Ski area website says six inches of new snow since yesterday. Not bad. Son of RML and I are going skiing/boarding on Saturday, although I might just put him in a lesson and go snowshoeing with Mrs RML.

Also, Chicago Bureau is the fucking man for riding his bike in the snow yesterday.

Note to IP fans: Apple may be having some issues with the IPad name, including a conflict with the maker of a padded bra.

@Dodgerblue: Trademarks only apply to product categories, unless somebody who actually knows this shit can correct me. In terms of the Fujitsu claim, Apple ran into a similar problem with “iPhone”, threw a bunch of money at it, and the problem went away.

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