A Metaphor for Our Times

Thank you, Nojo. I’m smiling.

it’s time to give him a name noje…you have been chosen.

@baked:
Potcat
Plantcat
Cataleptic

@FlyingChainSaw:

catatonic
pussypot
bureaucat

Magnificat

Catatonic Idol.

That cat’s intense stare pretty much mirrored mine last night as I stared at my housemate’s dinner. I have a colonoscopy this afternoon and haven’t eaten anything since Sat night minus the high power colon blow laxitive, consume soup and water.

Colonoscopy prep is not fun.

Why not Stinque? Good name for a cat. Or, Preview?

Noje (to Date, in a shy but manly way) This is my cat Preview. Yes, s/he does that. No, I don’t know why. Would you llike to see my ALW collection?

I think it has a ring to it. BTW. We are having spring rains here in NY state and it’s Jan 25th. Let me put that another way. OMFG!! We are having spring rains and it’s only like fucking January!!!!!

Yes, I am afraid for what’s coming. On a lighter note, the death penalty has been removed (one hears) from the Kill the Gays bill in Uganda though they have sensibly decided to keep life imprisonment for watching Project Runway or having a fave witch in Wicked. Thank you sens Inhofe et al for all spreading the love of Jeebus.

just dont name it tweet

Gary Colemans new mugshot

I don’t think it’s the plant–I think kitteh hears a little varmint who lives in that old brick oven. Love the shot, BTW–it looks like a painting.
I vote for “Magnificat”.

@Capt Howdy:

thankfully, i am sedated now. gary is alarming.

now, about dexter. one of my house guests this weekend is a dexter freak and so naturally we discussed. howdy, i’m so far behind! what with running around the globe the past 18 months i lost track. the last i remember is at least 2 seasons back. BUT! my video store has every season and it’s on my to do list for Today. like you, she was jumping up and down and pulling out her hair over the season finale.
i’m stoked!
i’m stoned!
my parents went home!
nojo has a cat!
it’s a beautiful day!

@Benedick: Now it’s a really happy day for you, what with Johnny Mill’s sex tape about to be released.

@baked: See if the video store has the Edwards tape yet. politicalwire.com per gawker promises “surreal sex acts.” Oh, wait – that “several” sex acts. Mas cafe’, por favor.

@baked:
oops
just saw this. you discussed the END? oh no!

@redmanlaw: I think we need a new survey here on Stinque, even though the current one has only been up for a day.

What are the “surreal sex acts” on Edwards/Alien Chick sex tape?

(a) foursome with two other men
(b) scat
(c) gratuitous use of Comic Sans font in the closed captioning
(d) Alien Chick has a dick
(e) Johnny Mill has a third nipple
(f) Johnny Mill checking out his hair in the mirror while getting a blow job
(g) all of the above

@SanFranLefty: Unacceptable.

@SanFranLefty: Pass the brain bleach, s’il vous plait.

@JNOV: While (a) would be the most entertaining, I’m going to with (f).

@baked:
about Gary
he is beginning to look a bit like a 1 meter tall black Hannibal Lecter isnt he.

@SanFranLefty: (f), totally.

@SanFranLefty: Well, of course he has a sex tape! Didn’t I always say he had a sex tape? Not with me unfortunately but whatevs. And of course he’s physically striking in a certain area! Duh. You just have to look at him to know that. Anyhoo, it’s not at Amazon – yet.

As for surreal sex acts, I’m hoping they involve a certain amount of wrestling. I feel sure they do. With perhaps jock straps and baby oil making an appearance.

Cultish fervor? I have to go and lie down.

@Benedick: I was picturing him in a dance belt.

@SanFranLefty: ::singsongs:: Not talking to you. :-P

@Capt Howdy:

no no no worries! she wouldn’t spoil it for me.

@ManchuCandidate: So not fun – got to do that last summer. Don’t worry though, that is by far the worst part of the whole process. Now you get to look forward to being high. And eat like a damn garbage disposal when you are done (I made my dad take me out for a triple decker BLT afterwords). Best of luck to you.

@Benedick: I am interested in hearing more about this jock strap/baby oil scenario.

@ManchuCandidate:
big mistake scheduling it in the afternoon. the earlier the better then you can eat sooner.
my sympathies. did you get the fleet stuff of the gallon of stuff?
either way. I feel you pain.
but kudos to you for doing it. I am a big evangelical for colonoscopies.
its so hard to get straight men to do that.
I have a family history so I have been getting them for years.

I have roughly the same interest in an Edwards sex tape that I would have in a Bret Hume sex tape.
that is, purely morbid curiosity

@Capt Howdy: Okay, now I need brain bleach.

when the WSJ opinion page starts calling for a Democratic president to stand up for gay rights the world is truly on its head:

Gay Americans have been among the president’s most ardent supporters. Their enthusiasm, and that of their families and friends, could be crucial in this year’s elections. The president’s action—or inaction—on Don’t Ask Don’t Tell will be noticed.

An increasingly frustrated bloc of gay voters—angry over marriage setbacks in California, Maine, New Jersey and New York and emboldened by Ted Olson’s and David Boies’s high-profile effort to declare unconstitutional laws that prohibit gay marriage—are growing impatient for equality. As Mr. Olson said in federal district court in San Francisco recently, discriminatory laws serve only to “label gay and lesbian persons as different, inferior, unequal and disfavored.”

@ManchuCandidate:

yes, by far, the worst part is the gallon of vile liquid you must down, and enjoying lots and lots of quality time with your toilet….
the procedure itself is nothing but fun. after they give you the anesthetic, fight to stay awake as long as possible–great high! the drs. and nurses stared at me dumbfounded as i chatted. they said they’ve never seen anyone stay awake and alert after being given the anesthesia for so long!
i’m a professional.
you wake up, it’s all over, you remember nothing. piece of cake.
my thoughts go to hearing the good news on the findings, MC.

@baked:
my instructions are usually something like this “I have a much higher tolerance for drugs than I do for pain, I do not want to feel this”.
and I dont. totally. a good buzz.
and you remember nothing. fortunately they give you photos to remember the experience by. I put mine up on our office wall.

@Capt Howdy, @baked: I distinctly remember waking up during the process and watching the monitor for a little while and being really fascinated. Then the nurse smiled at me and suddenly everything went dark again.

@homofascist:
I remember thinking I might be dying because of the going down a tunnel thing then I realized it was my colon.

@Capt Howdy: +1

@Capt Howdy:

that’s a very polite and concise way to put it.
“I have a much higher tolerance for drugs than I do for pain, I do not want to feel this”.
i have dramatic lengthy conversations with all anesthesiologists.

@homofascist: OMG see above

I had a minor mishap with one and had to go back to be checked and they did the hose up the bum thing with no drugs (apparently there’s no such thing as too much sharing here at Stinque). The sweet nurse held onto me while I watched the monitor. I got helpless with laughter when I realized I’d found next year’s Christmas card.

And yes, the Capt is right. Never schedule the afternoon. Makes everything much more unpleasant.

They refuse to give me one, for some reason, even though I insist.

Can we please stop talking about colonoscopies?

Hope everything went well, Manchu, but jeez, guys, talk about TMI.

@SanFranLefty: I can’t imagine it would be interesting to watch. He so narcissistic that it’s probably 30 minutes of him preening in front of the mirror followed by 15 minutes of her doing all the work while calling out his name and praising him for merely existing. I’ll just check out at the still shot of Mini Millworker.

sorry just one more cautionary tale.
what you DONT want is the cheaper “less invasive” alternative to a colonoscopy which is called a sigmoidoscopy:

from wiki:
Sigmoidoscopy is the minimally invasive medical examination of the large intestine from the rectum through the last part of the colon. There are two types of sigmoidoscopy, flexible sigmoidoscopy, which uses a flexible endoscope, and rigid sigmoidoscopy, which uses a rigid device. Flexible sigmoidoscopy is generally the preferred procedure.

um, scuse me but no shit.
the “ridgid” kind is basically a giant silver dildo with a light on the end.
and they dont do reach arounds.

@SanFranLefty: The alien sheds her skin and Lee Atwater jumps out and gives Johnny a hot lunch.

@FlyingChainSaw:
I would pay to see that.

but then I just bought one of these

@all

Well, I’m back from the hospital. About 20 seconds after they injected me with happy juice I simply blacked out. I woke up and slightly groggy, but better than those around me. I was up and out of the place in 20 minutes while a couple of people who were probed an hour ahead of me weren’t even up.

Apparently, my colon is fine. At least that’s what the tag I got from the doc says. I could have told him that. It hurts to pee, not poop.

I’m actually eating a Wendy’s double with cheese and it IS SOOOOOOOO GOOOD. Real (okay Wendy’s) food… yay!

The colon blow laxitive wasn’t that bad, I think because I didn’t have to clean out my pipes as much. Benefits of a half Asian diet, I guess.

Anyway, the burger calls.

good news

if it wasnt that bad Im betting you didnt get a gallon.
I have done it both ways and that gallon is, well, its a gallon.

@Capt Howdy:
Nope. I got this stuff called Pico Salax that they initially used in Europe.

Drink a 5 oz glass of the stuff 8 hours apart and stay within sprinting distance of the toilet. Tastes awwwwwwful, but I’d deal with the lousy taste over drinking a gallon of any fluid.

@ManchuCandidate: Sorry I’m late to this great thread, but the stuff you took MC is now off the shelves in the states. Srsly. But I had the gallon of ColonJuice thing and it wasn’t so bad, mixed with Gatorade and it was New Year’s Day so I needed to hydrate anyway while I watched bowl games.

Glad yours went well and revealed nothing. JNOV may not remember it but she talked me through the run up to mine, and I offered to name my first polyp after her; however, there were three. Any takers?

@Nabisco:
three!
larry moe and curly.
in my first one I had 5. nothing since.