Mass Hysteria

Oh, dear. We don’t really have a take on tonight’s special election in Massachusetts, except that either it will provide Demrats an excuse for not doing what they should have done months ago, or it will provide Demrats an excuse to keep dragging their feet until another excuse turns up.

So we launch our Open Thread/Existential Dilemma in utter confusion: Will it mean anything either way? Is it even worth a beer? Should we have run with Frisky Dingo instead?

And if Scott Brown wins, as expected: How long can we get away with calling him Senator Happy Trail?


You can never lose with Kill Face.

Apparently no exit polls tonight — nobody expected the race to be close. Old-school election coverage!

I plan to watch a bunch of BBC cooking shows – I do NOT want to dangle off the edge of this particular cliff.

Early returns:

Ottawa Senators 1:0 Chicago Blackhawks, middle of the first period.

Oh. The UNITED STATES Senate. Sorry.

@blogenfreude: Looks like Tweety’s reporting from the Cheers bar. Alas, nobody knows his name.

Keef’s not happy.

And neither am I — OTT 2:0 CHI. Damn it!

@chicago bureau: See, the Dems ran Leno when they should have run Conan. Or something like that.

NOVA is on. Something about that Sphinx thing. Speaking of Sphinxes

Dems are getting finger-pointing in early: It’s Rahm’s fault! No, it’s Martha’s!

Truth: this may be the best thing that happened to the Dems. The way they’ve squandered this should tell them that they are vulnerable, and that if–

Oh screw it. They’ll learn nothing. Never mind.

7 precincts reporting, 2,159 to go…

@chicago bureau: Maybe they’ll learn not to take a fucking election for granted. This ain’t NY-23, where the results were symbolic at best — you lose one senator, you’ve lost even the pretense of being able to overcome filibusters.

There are two legitimate options is Coakley loses — pass the House bill or deep-six the filibuster. Either option would be Item One in GOP attack notes in the fall.

Let’s be clear — this was botched. It doesn’t matter if it was Coakley, or Massachusetts Democratic bigs, or national Democratic bigs, or Black Eagle. All of ’em have a big fat D next to their names.

Weiner’s suddenly backing off, talking about Mass voters sending a “message”. Sounds like he’ll be happy with Mediare expansion, and leave it at that.

It’s over. The psychoconservatives will be submitting legislation authored by Kaiser Permanente and Merke and demanding nuke strikes on Iran and Yemen and escalation in Afghanistan and Iraq and elimination of taxes for anyone with an income over $1 million a year and tripling of taxes on anyone making less than $20,000 ‘who have proven that they have spat on the face of all the opportunities available in America.’

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout.

Happy Trail’s holding onto a solid 5-6 point lead, and — hmmm, is Caprica going to be any good?

If there’s an upside to a Democratic loss it’ll be this: the Dems will no longer be able to kid themselves that they’ve got 60 votes lined up to block filibusters on contentious issues. They’ll have to govern like they’re a party with 51+ votes as opposed to 60.

That’s how they should have approached legisaltion in the first place. Fuck Lieberman, and fuck the intransigent blue dogs. Work with the 53 or 54 who are on board with the Democratic agenda. Don’t bend over backwards to meet the demands of those who are simply trying to convince home state voters that they are, in fact, just as conservative as their GOP challenger.

@Serolf Divad: Right. ‘SpackaBallantine. Zip. . . GOP has one agenda item: elimination of any impedance to complete and total looting of America.

Serolf Divad: That, and they might get off their ass and finally do something. A boy can dream, right?

@Serolf Divad: From your lips to Black Eagle’s ears.

@chicago bureau: Our only hope is that the GOP gets is way, completely removes all regulation at all on banks, on insurance companies, on medical enterprises and the country careens straight into cannibal anarchy with neonazis finally converging on Congress and demanding all non-whites be made into heating fuel and finally sack it. Those with the will and wherewithall can retreat to Canada and let the states fall back to its pre-Columbian state and make a nice living giving flyover tours to Europeans looking for adventure and eager to gawk at the smoldering ruins of American cities.

@Serolf Divad: In the end, what those disappointed by Obama’s perceived hopeless and stupid efforts to work with and attempt to garner GOP support, was I think never anything but an effort to garner the support of the fucking bluedogs and Lieberman. The dems never had 60 votes anyway, on anything but committee votes and organizational votes.

Howie sez to Rach: “People who blame others are losers.”

But blaming other people is FUN!


John Carpenter’s Escape From Dumbfuckistan?

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh, the plausible deniability of saying things like this by pretending its just scatalogical hyperbole, it gives us cover, doesn’t it, FCS? But really, its literally true, the GOP establishment would destroy this country fast enough, hell, W just about did. But the amazing thing is, W did a better job of destroying the GOP than he did of destroying the country, and its the wreckage of the GOP, now committed to teabagger civic ludditism, is the monster that will finish W’s work of destroying the country. We will be little better than Haiti when its over, more like maybe Brazil, sure, its got an “economy,” and a minority of well-off people, all of whom live in walled enclaves with armed guards, while millions live in squalid ghettos not one iota better off than the Haitians. Thats our future.

@Original Andrew: Sure, for an extra $20 you can piss out of a helicopter on feral neonazis.

NOOZ: Boston Herald reporting that Boston is half in, with Coakley 62:37 Brown. That, I reckon, is not going to be enough. Stick a fork in her.

@Promnight: Oh, yeah, that’s what the GOP wants: 300 million living in adject squalor, the only opportunities fighting oil wars for the oligarchy and a handful of gangsters running the country by cell phone in their mercenary-protected enclaves on the coast. Cheneys grandkids can hunt human beings in helicopter gun ships and ride around the family campuses on the backs of slaves.

@chicago bureau: She took Fall River. She holds the cities, may be enough. Still, brace for rabid neonazis leaping through the windows to eat your face.

AND NOW: Ballgame. Coakley has staffer throw in the towel for her.

@JNOV: No, but I can get you a good deal on a spear gun.

@Promnight: He needed to take a long wet dump on their faces and forget about them. It was clear they only wanted to destroy the states, his administration, the democrats, anything that didn’t contribute to endless war and financial anarchy

@FlyingChainSaw: Silly me! I’m going to be one of those hunted brown folk. I forget my place, sometimes. Imma gonna shuck and jive on outta here now, y’aw.

@chicago bureau: MSNBC says Coakley called the Teabagger to concede … I am NOT amused.

Oh, garcon! One order of Health Care Plan B, please.

@FlyingChainSaw: The US is going through the very first popular, populist revolution, in which the poor, ignorant, and downtrodden, rise up, and overthrow the government that is trying to improve their lives, and install a fascist-corporate-christian theocratic government that will, as soon as it has complete control, proceed to fuck them, the poors who put them in power, harder, more thoroughly, more savagely, than they have ever been fucked before. I would like to believe these deluded pigfuckers will wake up, at some point, as they are burying their parents in the backyard, after Social Security and Medicare are abolished, and say, “hey, wait a minute,” but I know they won’t, they will never wake up. They will thank their fascists overlords and scream for them to fuck them harder.

Promnight: FAIL. No fucking permitted in Palinocracy.

Seriously: if Brown says one word tonight about Massachusetts rejecting partisan politics, then it will be off to the store for a new teevee.

@JNOV: Join the club. Anyone who’s voted dem’rat in the last 30 years is scheduled to be shipped to Gitmo tomorrow morning.

Anyone up to hoisting a vessel of gin with me, and celebrating the end of US civilization? There is nothing else left to do.

The GOP has it down to a science; they get elected, distract the populace with wars and endless “new hitlers” and generational wars for oil, while they free the financial pirates to rape and pillage the country, and they ensure the appearance of prosperity by running up the credit cards till the treasury is bare, timing it perfectly so that the devastation they wreaked only becomes apparent after they have left office, so they can blame it on the democrats. Its a universal truth that when unemploymet is rampant, the people vote for change, so, now they are voting for a change from the government thats only been in power for a year, blaming Obama and the dems for the total clusterfuck that W left them with, the morons clamoring for “change” right back to the criminal fucks who created the fucking disaster.

Its kinda just a little frustrating to this one liberal.

Promnight: This is the umpteenth demonstration of how Dems rolling over and playing dead is a recipe for disaster. Maybe they finally learn something.

@Promnight: Are you shitting me? Once ADM and Monsanto take total control of the food supply, people will eat their dead.

@chicago bureau: They have to learn to play like Atwater/Rove. Attack. Attack. Attack. Lie. Distort. Attack. The offensive is without end.

@chicago bureau: They will learn nothing – they should have thrown everything at this, but instead settled in all comfy and nice with their old assumptions. Idiots.

So, about that 24 Hours of Lemons car?


I picked the wrong week to cut back on my drinking.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I picked the wrong fucking lifetime to think there is any hope for the fucking world.

Anyone see this little stat: more Amurricans may have been killed in the Haiti quake than in 9-11, there are 5,500 americans listed as missing.

And now I am gonna get wonky. Obama fucked it up. Healthcare, absolute critical issue, but, financial meltdown, great recession, totally, totally, the wrong time to stake his fucking presidency on it. Its a big, and popular issue, when people have jobs, when they don’t have fucking jobs, food is their biggest issue.

And if he was going to do it, he should have thrown himself into it, tried to lead it, and you have to admit, he did not, he just threw it to congress and remained aloof for almost the entire process.

@Promnight: How long until Robertson says they made a pact with the devil and god smite them?

God, this speech is just horrible. She’s trying to paper over the problems with the campaign. It just doesn’t wash.

Martha, anything beyond “Thank you and good night” is hogging the camera.

Like Keef says sometimes: “just say ‘oops’ and get out.”

@chicago bureau: She needed to attack Brown 24/7 and have 7 PIs digging up the goatfucking, drinking arrests, wife beating complaints, etc. She just didn’t have the kind of rabid, blood-in-the-eye hunger for destruction that the RNC machine has.

@FlyingChainSaw: Damn right she took Fall River. I made phone calls over the weekend and got my ass to the polls this morning. Surprisingly large turnout here.

Pass the gin, please. Extra olives in mine.

And now the crowd is chanting “41! 41!” Dandy.

And now: “seat him now! seat him now!” Brilliant.

@chicago bureau: Well, at least they’re not burning Obama and Ted Kennedy in effigy and turning over cars.

WHOA! Scott Brown farming out the daughters! During the acceptance speech!

This guy might be a quote-machine. A silver lining, perhaps.

Mrs RML is watching “The Biggest Loser”, and I don’t mean Croak-ly.

Taking up archery now with a compound bow someone gave us. Got some aluminum arrows and field points and a bow sight.

@redmanlaw: Great. You’ll have to give us lessons. Once the GOP finishes off the states, and cannibal anarchy descends, we’ll need all the firepower we can muster.

@FlyingChainSaw: Squinting to see if my fiber optic bow sight has a Jeezuz sayin’ on it . . .

Not that his 1% of the vote made any difference (well, apart from keeping Brown’s margin of victory to marginally less than 5%), but how much do y’all think the third-party candidate benefited from “low-information voters” who didn’t realize he wasn’t, you know, one of those Kennedys?

@mellbell: Not nearly as significant as the “low information voters” who regularly vote republican, against their own interests, in the tens of millions, in every election.

Right about now, a busload of hookers is leaving the parking lot of Aetna on its way to Brown’s house with a trunk of cash and a 55-gallon drum of crystal meth.


Aaaaaaaaaaaand here come the inevitable AP & Politico stories about how every election–including the hard fought race for city dog catcher in Tuscaloosa–is now a referendumb on the failed Osama presnitsee.

Future Demonrats can only win elections by becoming psychopathic, right-wing, airhead nutcases indistinguishable from the Repukelitards.

So it is and has always been, forever and ever, ramen.

@Original Andrew: And Jesus hates the demrats because they only want to kill babies and defy their betters, the ones with the money.

I had no idea that a state north of mine (NY) could bring so much stupid (except for Maine). This is … New England? What happened? What is wrong?

@blogenfreude: The plutocracy said enough is enough and put its foot down.

@Serolf Divad: “They’ll have to govern like they’re a party with 51+ votes as opposed to 60.”

I’m late to this thread but wanted to say A-Fuckin-men.

They have a 18 vote margin!! 18 votes!!! When did 50 become 60?? Did the Republicans govern like this in 2000 when they had a 1 vote margin???

Harry Reid needs to grow a set or lose already so that we can have a Senate Majority Leader who says to the Repubs: “You want to filibuster everything from the appointment of the deputy secretary of the interior to health care reform to military appropriations. Bring.It.Fucking.On.” Let the Repubs look like the obstructionists they are. Hell, let them filibuster so at 2:45 in the morning a loopy and tired Senator Coburn can say what they’re all thinking: “We can’t let the n*gger accomplish a thing”

Dems. Go. Balls. Out.

@SanFranLefty: I’ve also heard suggestions of moving healthcare through in smaller chunks that can’t be voted against: You’re opposed to forbidding pre-existing conditions? Step right up!

Although that might have been a better suggestion ten months ago. I’m more curious about passing the Senate bill as is, then tidying up with smaller bills.

So now I guess Roger Ailes officially runs the GOP.

@nojo: If they simply addressed pool formation last year it would have been an enormous advance and simple to understand. You offer this risk management product to the public, the public includes all of its constituents. The industry would attack by tripling rates and pre-emptively throwing people off the rolls and howling how they are being robbed by a marxist cult run wild and would also crank up the pigfucker noise machine – but it is a concept the larger public would understand without extensive reading could imagine themselves on the wrong side of the risk curve the way it’s defined today.

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