Scientists Have the Best Pick-Up Lines

Like fine wines, some stories are best savored rather than consumed. This is one of those stories:

The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.

Now, stop right there. Pause. Sip. Enjoy. It’s the lost episode of Mythbusters or Man vs. Wild, as intrepid explorers go hunting for their elusive prey. And we don’t care whether Woody Allen got there first almost two generations ago. The time is now.

Ready? Let’s continue:

Their study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine is the biggest yet, involving 1,800 women, and it found no proof.

Small change for Warren Beatty, but for the rest of us, very impressive. We’ll bet you haven’t even broken three figures, and we’ll further bet that you’re lying and still haven’t cracked double-digits.

Now, for this next step, we insist you be seated:

The women in the study, who were all pairs of identical and non-identical twins, were asked whether they had a G-spot.

TWINS?!!! Dude, you got nine hundred pairs of twins to put out for you? Have you told Warren? It may be a quantity/quality thing, but it has to rank somewhere. Anybody can rack up thousands of singles.

Well, that was fun. And since we’re an educational blog, some background you probably didn’t know:

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, was named in honour of the German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who described it over 50 years ago. It is said to sit in the—

On second thought, we’re not telling. As Peggy Noonan says, life needs a little mystery.

The G-spot ‘doesn’t appear to exist’, say researchers [BBC, via LuxMentis]

This is the kind of research I can really get behind. Money well spent, you know?

The He-Spot, however, is volcanically real.

@Original Andrew: I was innocently watching either Discovery, or PBS, one day, and it was during the family hour, and I was shocked, shocked, I tell you, to see the best pron close up money shot ever in history, presented in graphic detail, during this “educational” broadcast.

These sex researchers had put a camera, a tiny camera, and a light, up, well, way up at the top of the inside girly-parts. And then, out of the darkness, came this shiny pink helmet-looking thing, and yes, just when you think all is lost and it will destroy everything, it receded back into the shadows, but then it came back, again and again, and then, its too horrible, it spit up, and then went away and was seen no more.

Yes, it was video footage from inside the vah-geeene, showing the pink-helmeted doodle coming straight at you, inside the whoosiwhatsis.


Hey, in Caddyshack, Czervik Construction, no, do you think?

From my own experience, I know the G-spot is real but not very easy to find especially if you’re really looking for it. The damn thing seems to have a mind of its own (at least that’s what I think.) A woman I, er, know has G-spot orgasms (some I’ve even helped start), but not as, um, messy as claimed.

I think I’ve seen that same footage. Interesting though.

I’ll be sure and let mine know it doesn’t exist as soon as I stop having these pesky multiple orgasms.

@IanJ: I stopped reading at the twins part. It can’t get any better.

One of the most fascinating and funny books I read this year was Bonk by Mary Roach. It’s about the history and results of sex research, and contains all sorts of amazing scenarios sex researchers have created/found themselves in, all for the sake of helping us have more and better sex. I highly recommend it–use the Amazon linque and acquire it today!

Everybody knows the G-spot is located just behind the hypotenuse of the ventral oracle.

@Promnight: Well, it’s not everybody who knows that. I believe your description of its location is spot-on, so to speak.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment