Breaking: Rush Limbaugh Stricken by Karma

Presented without (much) comment:

Conservative radio talk host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital on Wednesday afternoon with chest pains, sources told KITV.

Paramedics responded to the call at 2:41 p.m. at the Kahala Hotel and Resort.

Limbaugh suffered from chest pains, sources said. Paramedics treated him and took him to Queen’s Medical Center in serious condition.

He was seen golfing at Waialae Country Club earlier this week. The country club is next to the Kahala Hotel and Resort.

The radio show host had been in the islands during the holidays. Coincidentally, his visit comes at a time when two of the nation’s most powerful Democrats, President Barack Obama and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, are also staying in Hawaii.

Maybe it’s the excess bile.

Meanwhile, Team Sarah issues an Emergency Prayer Alert:

I come to you this evening with serious news about a great American who needs our prayers.

Rush Limbaigh, champion of values such as life, liberty, and the free market, was rushed to the hospital in Hawaii this evening and, according to reports, may be in “serious” condition…

Members of Team Sarah in the Rush Limbaugh Fans for Sarah Group are following this and you can visit their group to learn more or to offer your own thoughts.

May God be with Ruish Limbaugh and his friends and family, and at this critical hour when voices such as his are refreshing and badly needed, may God be with his fans and the nation.

Not to be outdone, Stinque’s FlyingChainSaw issues a plea:

Damn, I was hoping for a paralyzing stroke so we could break into his house and take long satisfying Balantine Ale pisses in his face while reciting his litany of crimes and damning him to hell.

Limbaugh Rushed to Honolulu Hospital [KITV]

Rush Limbaugh Fans for Sarah [Team Sarah, registration required]

Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement [Stinque]


I thought only Indonesian Kenyan socialist foreigners vacationed in Hawaii.

@SanFranLefty: That’s what Rush gets for vacationing in such an unamurrikan place.
I have to agree with the Gawker commenter who said this is 2009’s chance to redeem itself.

If you feel a bit guilty about the schadenfreude you feel, click here.

It’s probs just the acid reflux from the puppies he ate.

Oxy stocks skyrocket in after-hours trading.

Dittoheads across America suffer sympathy heart attacks; insurance canceled before they reach emergency rooms.

/Absolute Stinque Emergency TJ/

What does one call a gay cougar? Say, a man-about-town in his mid-thirties?

A gougar? A manther? Hep! Hep!

Team Sarah Prayerama, Part I:


First off: are the Team Sarah misspellings for reals? Can one sorrow-stricken teabagger actually manage to spell one person’s name wrong in two DIFFERENT ways – ways that between them include a correct spelling? Is our children learning?

Secondly: maybe one of the prayer groups trying to kill Sen. Byrd got distracted when Rush came on…

@al2o3cr: Pasted as is. But they were typing quickly.

Wait a second…Cynica just got back from Hawaii, and the DodgerBlues recently arrived in the Aloha State, and Rush is stricken. Coincidence? I think not.

ADD: Is he dead yet? I’m stuck on an airplane at the gate.

@SanFranLefty: ABC may be reporting his condition as “stable”, but I can’t confirm.

FCW, you know how much I love and admire your work, but I’m afraid we part ways on the Big Fat Idiot.

I don’t want him paralyzed. I want him to feel. Constant, Agonizing, Excruciating Pain, emanating from his dick to his vocal cords. I don’t want to send him to Hell. I want him to live it here on Earth. For a. very. long. time.

Geek note: Google News files Limbaugh under “Entertainment,” not “U.S.” or “Top Stories”.

@Original Andrew:

Teh Wikipedia claims ‘manther’ and ‘troll’. I’d assume depending on the postive/negative nature of the interaction.

However, Urban Dictionary claims that ‘manther’ is a straightforward sex reversal of ‘cougar’, so that may not work. It also offers ‘jaguar’, ‘faguar’, ‘gougar’, and ‘pougar’, amongst others.

@nojo: We can only hope one of the doctors will have a moment of clarity and rip Rush’s heart out with his hands and stuff it into the incinerator.

@Jamie Sommers: I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive conditions. He can be paralyzed and in agonizing pain and feeling all the humiliation of Stinquers pissing in his face. We can do well and do good while Rush is immersed in the most Twilight-Zone misery.

Liberal Glee on Display Over Limbaugh Hospitalization []

Our tweet isn’t there. Once again, we’re ignored by blogs I’ve never heard of.

@Jamie Sommers and al2o3cr:

Apparently “faguar” is also in the running.

@FlyingChainSaw: Kinda like a botched 3 cocktail execution? Huzzah! It is settled then.

Honolulu Advertiser: “He was reported to be alert and conscious.”

Well, that would be a first.

I guess it’s time to re teach the lesson of the Golden Rule: “do to others what you would like to be done to you.”

I won’t throw on a hair shirt and scream about “Oh the humanity” in regards to Rush. It makes the evil dark side of my sense of humor laugh when I see bullies and their toadies DEMAND that the opposite side feel more shame than schadenfreude.

Maybe it’s a personality flaw or lingering childhood trauma of being bullied, but I don’t feel any sort of compassion for bullies in general.

@Original Andrew: “faguar” made me laugh. So I guess it wins.

@nojo: Our tweet is a URL. To make the list we need something provocative like ‘Please live, Rush, if only so we can piss in your face while you sit decaying in your wheelchair in the coma ward’


Well, they probably let the Oxy wear off while he was in the ICU.

@FlyingChainSaw: Actually, our tweet is the story headline, and at least somebody took offense at our tastelessness.

Bible verse time for prayer and meditation:

And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.

Judges 3:19-25

@nojo: Yes, true, but we could be much more provocative, really, you know, bring on the apocalyptically vulgar as is our brief.

Rush relapse reported: Obama sent get-well card.

Man, and we *just* cut the death panels out of the HCR package…

I gotta say that overall I’m partial to “manther,” since it conjures just the right amount of Duran Duran-video inspired magic.

Team Sarah Prayerama, Part 2:

The hour is late, Rush, but my prayers will go on through the night into the morn. I will be offering my Mass and service of singing at a funeral tomorrow for your special intention of healing and restored good health. God and prayer will see you through this valley. But your strong will and commitment to justice work hand in hand with the Lord and his people. God bless you now and always.

I’m a little confused, but if I read this correctly, please, please, nobody sing in honor of Rush at my funeral.

The Rush Who Made New Years

The Rush hated Libruls! The whole Librul reason!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that he wasn’t all too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of that
May have been that his ass was two sizes too fat

Whatever the reason,
His ass or his brain,
He went to the Librul Aloha State, hating the Libs,
Staring down from his suite with a sour, Rushy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Lib down in Lib-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a healthcare wreath.

“And they’re hanging their socialism!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow will be healthcare for “most”! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his fat fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep (weakened) health reform from coming!”
For, tomorrow, he knew…

The Libs, young and old, would sit down and read books.
And they’d read! And they’d read!
And they’d READ! READ! READ! READ!
They would start on paperbacks, and rare hardcovers
Which was something the Rush couldn’t stand in the least!

They’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Lib down in Lib-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with election bells ringing.
They’d stand in a line. And they were Demrat voting!

They’d vote! And they’d vote!
And the more the Rush thought of the Lib Demrat-Voting
The more the Rush thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for fifty-eight years I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop Obama from winning!
…But HOW?”

And what happened then…?
Well…in Hawaii they say
That the Rush’s clogged heart
Kakked that day!
And the minute his heart didn’t feel quite so right,
He flopped on his belly through the bright morning light
And he fought back the healthcare! And the taxes for the beast!
And he…

The Rush discovered no one cared for him the least!

It wouldn’t be Christian to hope for the worst, which is one of the many thousands of ways that Christ is a much, much better being than I can ever hope to be.

Oh, and by the way, Manchu, you are a genius. That’s harder than it looks.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Especially on deadline.

Meanwhile, if we learned one thing from Tiger, it’s that “serious condition” is the default report when you arrive at the emergency room. No telling what’s really going on.

TMZ reports a disappearing act that would defy David Copperfield:

Sources inside the hotel tell TMZ the hotel took drastic measures to get the mystery patient — reported to be Rush Limbaugh — out of the resort without being seen.

@nojo: What, they disguised him as one of their performing whales going to the vet for a checkup?

/entering hour 3 of sitting at a gate in DEN waiting for my plane to be fixed. iPhone is running out of juice from constantly refreshing CNN website to see if he’s croaked yet.

Have you guys seen Ayn Rand’s 1961
repudiation of American conservatism?


@SanFranLefty: I don’t think we’re getting any more news tonight. Instead, it’s Liberal Glee on one side, Condemnations of Liberal Glee on the other.

Personally, I’d like to thank Rush for pulling focus from Terrorist Underpants. That was getting annoying.

@karen marie: Did she say “neoconservative”?

We used to have a Token Libertarian who could answer, but he hasn’t dropped by for awhile. I don’t have the patience to wade through her Objectivist tracts (Fountainhead and Atlas are enough for one lifetime), but what she says fits my understanding of her, as well as those Libbies who consider themselves apart from mainstream conservatism.

Glenn Beck is another matter, of course. If he were serious, he would be a populist reactionary, not a libertarian. But he’s just an opportunist clown who knows his shtick.

@SanFranLefty: Indeed, me and my ohana are on Maui, and only now have I been able to wrest a real computer from one of my children and check in. So a guy tried to set off a bomb in his underpants? That sounds like something Chainsaw would make up. Does this mean that the TSA goons will now be sniffing our butts as well as our shoes?

And this Rush thing — word on the Stoner Isle is that he tried to eat a baby and it lodged in his throat.

“Mexican” food on Maui — avoid.

@Dodgerblue: TSA will be handing out suppositories at the gate and embarking passengers will have to defecate in front of TSA personnel before being seated on the plane.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’ll tell ya, some of these TSA folks deserve a big load in the face. What a fucking disgrace that whole system is. And then Napolitano tells us it worked as designed.

@Dodgerblue: She was right. It is designed for theater – make people believe the guvmint is doing something. The fact is if the baddies have gotten to the gate, you’re fucked. Again, schlong bomber proves the data is there, but the data logistics has not been engaged positively. The failure doesn’t even rise to the level of an omission in a data mining algorithm. The agencies don’t even collate data from terror suspect watch lists with the TSA’s do not fly list. I am sure there is a long list of reasons why, the first being that most all the TSA personnel are not cleared for this or that classification of data and the data can’t be trusted with them because their availability will disclose which terrorists have been fingered and are being watched, etc. on and on and paralysis compounds to catastrophic clusterfuckdom.

TSA is one step up from labor pool, pick-up-guys-on-the-corner day job employment.

@FlyingChainSaw: the data logistics has not been engaged positively

Did you write for Star Trek in a previous life?

@FlyingChainSaw: The TSA workers at SFO are the same contractors who were doing it pre-9/11 (for some odd reason, all of the contractors/franchisees at the airport are all Filipino-Americans. It’s some sort of mafia.) Since the change to have the government run TSA, there’s been some additions to the workers but all of the old ones appear to have been grandfathered in.

@SanFranLefty: That was only one part of the idiocy of federalizing the contractors. It’s not as if they had to pass the *cough cough* civil service exam. Unionizing may actually make them responsible to someone.

@nojo: sorry, meant data logistics have not been . . . kinda, casting working specifications for software comes with its own language and its a chore I’ve been stuck with at times or had to help with in other lives.

@SanFranLefty: I meant, in terms of money prospects for advancement. In this economy, it’s probably the last and only job any of them could have indoor.

Actually, yeah, I’ve seen this at another airport I could name. The same security assholes showed up one day in fucking berets and one of the fucktards dropped my laptop and shattered one corner. Same asshole, new hat.

@Original Andrew: Howling like the wolf?

Just went through several TSA screening processes, never once got sent through the X-Ray-Specs, was kinda disappointed. They really should offer you the chance to purchase your full-body-screen foto, like they do on any amusement park roller coaster worth its salt.

I was blissfully unaware of almost ALL news for the last couple of weeks, unfortunately not because I jetted off to an exotic destination, but still. Catching up. Hope Rush chokes on his own vomit. Except that would give him something in common with John Bonham.

It will be great to watch Lion King, i have bought tickets from looking forward to it.

bloggie, why did you post a picture of my mother-in-law?

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