White House Ornament Guide

Mmmmm, boner pills.

Wait. They’re gonna remake North By Northwest????? Tell me that’s not true. What next? Notorious?

BTW. I discovered this am that the ‘CEO’ of Cigna, my insurance company, will retire with a $M73 handout. Naturally I called to say I wanted a refund as they have clearly been price gouging. As you might imagine this has created a certain amount of consternation at HQ. I will call back at 9. I will then call my union and every other motherfucker I can think of to demand a motherfucking refund.

Joe Lie Ornament: The literal and figurative Ballsacks of Demrat Senators and Preznit Barry.

Jesus Christ, are they really going after TREE ORNAMENTS NOW? How about we let him GOVERN FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES.

@Benedick is Danny Tanner: Why? This is what America is all about: you fucking die swimming in your own blood and puss while on hold with the claims adjuster and the fucking executive walks away with most of a trillion bucks to live on a private island with private armies and harems and cannibal feasts on the brains of live dwarfs in a non-stop Caligulan orgy for him and his family forever.

Cigna, likely, will send you a compensation report that will prove that the CEO was grossly underpaid and was actually entitled, in line with peers in industry, to a retiring payout of $M173.

@RomeGirl: Word.

@FlyingChainSaw: You’d think they might at least wait for a less fraught time to make this announcement.

love the comments:

I always said Obama was going to hang, who knew it would be so soon.

@RomeGirl:

Well, there’s this. But the likely source for the weird ornaments is this (the Daily Show version is funnier).

Even funnier, I’m sure the teabaggers would have whined just as much if there was a federal employee going through and “censoring” the ornaments. Just can’t win with some people…

TommCatt is going to be so excited: festival of alt-text on this post AND he’s tweet of the day! Christmas came two days early for our ‘Catt!

@SanFranLefty: /taking you aside to whisper, What is ALT text? I haven’t a clue.

@Benedick is Danny Tanner:

its descriptive text that appears if an image, for whatever reason, can not.
for example if you avatar had alt text and the picture did not appear it might say something like “totally hot and dishonest representation of Benedict with shirt off and finger in ear”

@Benedick is Danny Tanner: Move your cursor over the graphics and you will see some text. This is magic, as far as I’m concerned.

@al2o3cr: It’s just beyond me that a year into his administration, and they’re still nitpicking the stupid shit. We lived with your president for eight years, now you live with ours. GET OVER IT.

@Benedick is Danny Tanner: Now you have to go through all of Nojo’s recent posts to see if he’s buried ALW references in the alt-text for you.

Slaps forehead. Duh. I always thought that was just fairy dust but you mean that can be done by actual people? I’m gobsmacked.

@Capt Howdy: My avatar happens to be my hero, Tony Blair, doing cell fone sex with the hotness that is GWB. I think this was right around the time that GWB was saying “Sniff it. You know you want to. Sniff my Yanqui bum, you Limey fruit. Oh yeah!”

Strange Ornaments, wasn’t that something Billie Holliday sang?

@SanFranLefty: That noje is a trickster.

@Benedick is Danny Tanner:
my hero, Tony Blair, doing cell fone sex with the hotness that is GWB

euuu

I am reminded of a threat someone once made to me that if I did not do what they wanted me to do they had pictures of Woopie Goldberg and Margaret Thatcher having sex and would make me look at them.

Well Lookie Here! Science says liberals are smart, conservatives have defective brains and are fucktarded (thats my interpretation, and I feel it is reasonable and fully warranted from the facts reported): http://psychcentral.com/news/2007/09/10/brains-of-liberals-conservatives-may-work-differently/1691.html

@Capt Howdy: That’d be worse than watching Ellen Degeneris masturbate. Or eat. Or watching her show, even.

@Prommie:
I just threw up a little in my mouth

@Prommie:
they buried the lede. conservatives have brains. who knew.

@Prommie:
I find it’s pretty much true. Many Cons don’t do well with ambiguity.

Personally, I was more conservative when I was younger–not very proud of it. Not stupid contarded, but I was always fearful of authority (mostly parents) and hated ambiguity (again parents lived on it.) I think that had more to do with living with my parents than the flexibility of my neurons and shape of my brain.

@ManchuCandidate:

Cons don’t do well with ambiguity

c’mon
it has 5 syllables

@Prommie: Bu-bu-but, what’s wrong with Ellen?

@mellbell:
My thought exactly. I like Ellen.

@mellbell: She’s just not someone I would like to see masturbate. One of many.

@SanFranLefty:

nothing much “wrong” with Ellen. watching Ellen masturbate might make be gouge my eyes out.

@Prommie: I dunno, Prommie. She seems to make otherwise mundane shit seem funny, why not that? I like Ellen, and she seems to have great taste in women.