Oy Vey…
The problem: Hanukkah songs are all uniformly lame, unlike Christmas songs which are, without exception, awesome.
The solution? Choose one from the following list:
A) Commission Southpark co-creator and Jew Matt Stone to pen a handful of humorously offbeat additions to the seasonal canon.
B) Arrange a Hanukkah themed musical collaboration between ex-Dire Straits guitarst Mark Knopfler (Jewish father) and Jewish singer songwriter Janis Ian.
C) Have ultra-conservative Utah Senator and devout Mormon song-smith Orrin Hatch pen a few ditties in honor of the Festival of Lights.
You know what’s coming next without me even having to tell you, don’t you? That’s right: If you picked C… congratulations.
Sorry my Jewish friends, but this Hanukkah thing of yours just got a teensy bit lamer.
Actually, I heard an arrangement of ‘Jerusalem of Gold’ I thought was well orchestrated and engaging.
Fuck Orrin Hatch …
it always amuses me that jew irving berlin wrote “white christmas”
and doesn’t jew barbra sreisand and jew neil diamond sing it beautifully?
the definative chanukah song:
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Welp Speaking to reporters on Air Force One, President Trump said that “Cuba looks like it is…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 My mood courtesy of Rhiannon Giddens: https://youtu.be/M7PvWw97Cq0