The Feud Network
Rivera: “Lou Dobbs is almost single-handedly responsible for creating, for being the architect of the young-Latino-as-scapegoat for everything that ails this country.”
Dobbs: “Geraldo Rivera wouldn’t know a fact if it hit him in the rear end — and that would probably be an appropriate place if you wanted him to absorb the information.”
Analysis: Plenty of material to mine for both of them — you can just hear the dicks thump the table.
Hall: “I’m also, frankly, uncomfortable with Beck, who I think should be called out as somebody whose language is way over the top. And it’s scary.”
Beck: “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass when you leave. I’m going to miss you, I am, whatever your name is.”
Analysis: This would be more fun if anyone knew who the hell Jane Hall is.
Stossel: “If it means the Lou Dobbs kind of rants about immigrants wrecking America, I don’t subscribe to that. I think immigrants by and large do good things for America.”
Dobbs: “To hear this ass continue his act over at Fox News. I just can’t wait until he starts blowing bubbles in the air — that’s about all he’s equipped to do.”
Analysis: Whenever we think of Stossel, we’re reminded of Colbert’s shtick as an Eighties local anchor.
Graham: “Only in America can you make that much money crying.”
Beck: “You gotta ask yourself, is the problem the angry white guys or is it
the Obama-lite guys? Lindsey Graham, come on man, come on seriously, that’s it?”
Analysis: We’re awarding an extra bag of popcorn just for Beck making Lindsey appear moderate.
White House v. Fox News
White House: Fuck you!
Fox News: No, fuck you!
Analysis: Everybody wins!