The Oreo Paradox

Oh, and the Inauguration Plates. Those too.

Burt Prelutsky, “a very nice person once you get to know him,” used to be somebody — “humor” columnist for the L.A. Times, movie critic for Los Angeles magazine, a TV writer whose voluminous credits include Dragnet and McMillan & Wife. Now he’s just an old fart blogging for Andrew Breitbart:

Why, in 2009 America, are mulattoes invariably identified as blacks? Surely there is nothing wrong with being a mulatto. There is no stigma attached, as once there was. It merely refers to those who have one white parent and one black. There are many notable individuals who are mulattoes, including Halle Berry, Derek Jeter, Lisa Bonet and Barack Obama. Tiger Woods, on the other hand, is a true amalgamation, being one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-quarter black, one-eighth Native American and one-eighth Dutch. And, yet, with the possible exception of the New York Yankee shortstop, we insist on identifying all of them as black.

It’s as if there is something shameful about their being half or even one-eighth white. If there is, I’d sure like to know what it is. If, on the other hand, there isn’t, why do we insist on acting as if there were?

Dunno, Burt — maybe it has something to do with the history of the word’s use in America. But just to get you up to speed, the polite term du jour appears to be “biracial.” Although we know you were itching to work in “octaroon”.

(Oh, and regarding Chia Obama: We know it’s making the rounds, but didn’t anybody notice it back in January?)

Questions Even Glenn Beck Hasn’t Asked [Big Hollywood, via Media Matters]

one of my coworkers (big Obama supporter btw) had a Chia Obama on his desk and he was asked to take it home.

Noj, I thought octaroons were a type of cookie.

@Capt Howdy:
Hopefully out of good taste.

I like Obama, but there is something wrong about Chia Obama.

This is anal-cyst-having, viagra-needing, Domincan-boy-fucking fat wad of shit Rushbaugh Limbaugh’s favorite form of racism, taking an archaic racist term, using it over and over again, (similar to when Bart found out that female dog’s are called “bitches:” ” well, Santa’s Little Helper is a bitch, why can’t I call her a bitch, whats wrong with bitch, thats what a female dog is, isn’t it, a bitch? Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.”), and wearing an air of innocent incomprehension at the suggestion that what he is doing is somehow racist. The most obvious example is Rushbaugh’s constant use of the term “negro.” And its a smartass power thing, too, like W’s nicknaming, “you don’t tell me what to call you, I am gonna tell you what I am gonna call you, now come here and let me rub you head just to demean you more.”

Makes me want to kick him in the face, again and again, while he is down and whimpering and desperately trying to protect himself, it makes me want to laugh while I kick again and again and his teeth break and fall out and he bleeds and cries like a fat fuck and I laugh and scream, “come on, say mulatto again, come on, say mullatto, come on, say mullato, ya fucking smartass.”

Ugh. I can’t even deal with this level of stupid.

“And, yet, with the possible exception of the New York Yankee shortstop, we insist on identifying all of them as black.”

Um, Bert. Much of that emphasis is based on US America History. According to certain JIM CROW laws, having one drop of “black” blood was one too many.

I would say out of good taste. surprisingly in short supply among the 20 something single white boys I work with.

I wonder how Obama feels about it?

to quote Addison Dewitt he has a point. an idiotic one, but a point.
we are all so mixed at this point identifying ourselves as anything is sort of pointless.
personally I am German, Irish, Native American and Welsh. pretty much in that order. and those are the ones I know about.

Oh, and for relevance, since we rarely mention Breitbart: He’s the dude behind the ACORN takedown. His “Big Hollywood” blog purports to reveal the malfeasance of entertainment libruls. Just so you know where Old Fart is coming from.

also one of the 50 most influential bloggers by someone recently.

@Capt Howdy:

Seriously? Breitbart? This guy somehow manages to be less literate and stupider than Katherine Jean Lopez. While that is an impressive feat, I’d be surprised if it influences anyone…

@Prommie: Don’t forget you’re going to want to piss on him.

@Capt Howdy: Addison Dewitt?? Addison Dewitt??!! Well, if we’re going to go there I have a confession to make. I saw Bette Davis’s stage show.

Welsh? Too bad.

@Capt Howdy: I’m gonna let that one settle — it sounds good, but I’m still unclear where that leaves manadatory buy-in.

@Benedick: James Garner pinched my cheek.

At least I think it was him. I was a very wee lad, and it was at a celebrity golf tournament. I’m more confident in my memory that I had ice cream that day.

BTD over at talk cleft is saying its a good thing. he has been all over this from the beginning. personally I tuned out. it was effecting my mental health.

I think the mandatory thing is now personal and not employer based ( I think)
if so I think it may be a good thing. I think we should move away from the employer based bullshit.


Go see Where The Wild Things Are. I command you.

I wanna talk about it with youse all.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: @nojo:
(and Benedict)

neah neah
met Paul Lynde at a party once at a party at Peter Marshalls house once.
(Peter is married to a old friend of mine)

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
I thought it was disturbing and depressing. not at all what I expected.

I liked it. but it was disturbing and depressing.

you know whats disturbing about the Chia Obama thing?
it is its relation to internet rule #3:

if it exists there is porn of it.

@Capt Howdy: met Paul Lynde at a party once at a party at Peter Marshalls house

I hate you.

@nojo: @Capt Howdy: @Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:

Let it be noted that this dude’s website gives a fucking column (or a guest blogger spot, whatever) to Victoria. Fucking. Jackson. That fucking loon ball is like the cream of their celebrity talent crop. Which I think speaks volumes about the validity of the whole enterprise.

what a great thing that party was. lots of old Hollywood Squares alums there.
and I did not even live in LA yet or work in the film industry yet so I was starry eyed.

I think all one needs to know is that he is Drudges favorite source.

Ohh, Nojo, that was one of the funniest threads ever back from the inauguration live-blogging that HF, MellBell, and I were doing for y’all. Cracked me up to read those comments again. And that 7 horsemen (women) painting is still The.Best.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
not at all. straight as an arrow. but totally on board. he is actually a very nice and funny man.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: I really liked it, and think my eight- or nine-year-old self would have liked it, too.

@mellbell: @Capt Howdy:

I loved it. I thought it was the most honest representation of childhood I have ever seen.

How weird, Cap’in?

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
i want to know if you’re familiar with the book. i love the book.
it’s playing here, and i was giving it a pass. i don’t want to ruin the book.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
I dunno
maybe I was just in a weird place. I just left the theater feeling sort of sad and depressed. I have no relation to or memory of the “book” (in quotes because it is 10 sentences) so I really had no idea what to expect. I love Jones. he is one of my favorite directors and I like the movie. I was just a little surprised. and I thought it might be a little scary for kids.
course I dont have any kids so I am not what you would call an authority.
after my years at disney I guess I expected something more like a regular kids movie and it didnt feel that way to me.

it felt more like it was made for the boomers who liked the book.


the great orange is happy

Everyone is on the same page moving forward, meaning that we’re that much closer to having meaningful, comprehensive healthcare reform pass this year.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
um, speaking of Peter, I just read this at neatorama:

Researchers have finally unlocked the secret of a happy marriage: trophy wife!

No, seriously. The study found that marrying smarter and younger women results in less fewer divorces and greater marriage bliss:

The researchers studied interviews of more than 1,500 couples who were married or in a serious relationship. Five years later, they followed up 1,000 of the couples to see which had lasted.

They found that if the wife was five or more years older than her husband, they were more than three times as likely to divorce than if they were the same age.

If the age gap is reversed, and the man is older than the woman, the odds of marital bliss are higher.

Peter is considerably older than me and his wife is considerably younger.
and they have been blissful for many years.

The museum at the Palace of the Governors down the street from me here in Santa Fe has a chart listing all the Spanish language equivalents of “quadroon” and “octaroon” including the various terms used for mixtures of various races and ethnicities incl. “coyote” (Hispanic and Anglo like Mrs RML although she would self-identify as Hispanic), “mestizo” (Pueblo Indian and Hispanic, like Son of RML who is an enrolled member of Tribe of RML and identifies as Indian) and “generizo” (a person Hispanic and Plains Indian ancestry as opposed to one with of Pueblo Indian ancestry). I don’t know what the Navajo-Hispanic mix would be called.

A passing generation of older Native New Mexican Hispanic women often insisted on calling themselves “Spanish”, although that flag has not flown here since the independence of Mexico and there has not been an infusion of Spanish settlers here for hundreds of years. The denial of any Indian ancestry was implied. Some guys from here called themselves “Mexican” although they were not actually Mexican from Mexico in the recent past although their families may have come up since Independence. The term “Mexican” was formerly used by non-Hispanics as a blanket term to refer to Native Hispanics but not since the influx of actual Mexicans and OTMs (Other Than Mexicans) from Central and South America in the past couple of decades. Pretty much everyone has settled on “Hispanic” to cover non-white, non-Indian, indigenous people of New Mexico who are not African American or Asian who who are not recently arrived from Mexico or elsewhere in Latin America. Such people are described as “immigrants” or by nationality and looked down upon by local Hispanics and right wingers while progressives think they are cool.

I’ve posted on this before, but a lot of our new friends have not heard it before. I have full-blood Pueblo Indian and Navajo parents on both sides which makes the ancestry fairly easy to describe.

my uncle used to tell the story of how his father my grandfather was ashamed of his Native American blood.
he told of how when oil was discovered in Oklahoma on the Cherokee (?) land and money was paid out the the descendants he went to the mail box one day and found a check for 3000 bucks. this was during the depression so that was a lot of money. he ran all the way back to the house only to have his father take one look at the check and toss it in the fire.
he said he cried as he watched it burn.
I know very little about that side of my family for obvious reasons but I do know that I have Cherokee blood on both sides of my family.

I also have no way of knowing how much if any of that is true. it was just one of the stories he used to love to tell. he told a lot of stories.

@Capt Howdy: Well, I, for one, always enjoy Cherokee stories.

@Jamie Sommers: I think we’ve reached the point where I need to build in Google search.

@Benedick: That’s not possible (your being Paul Lynde). At this point you must hold the record among Stinquers for being falsely identified as several different celebrities. I believe your claiming to be one yourself is a first, however. (unless FCS did so once?)

@Benedick: You are correct, pissing on him, yes, a must-do, and really, its much more offensive than shitting on someone, in a subtle way. You can maintain your own personal dignity while pissing on someone. Not so with shitting. Its one of humanity’s highest achievements, that we can write our names with our piss, but when it comes to shitting, we are little better than monkeys, all we can do is hurl it, as they do.


the only advantage of being a man: writing your name in pee.

@Capt Howdy:
hey hey HEY! maurice sendak is not to be dismissed with a 10 sentence brush off. as tommie said, it is a genuine representation of childhood.
the illustrations create an unforgettable feeling!


Not really. I guess your name has too many loops. Try your avatar name. I’ve done it a couple times on camping trips…key word trip.

@lynnlightfoot: I’d hardly call myself a celebrity. I can’t of course control how others see me.

Just had a grand time watching Curse of the Golden Chrysanthemum on Blueray. Spectacle like you’ve never seen. Gong Li (sigh) and what looks to be most of the population of Sichuan province. Haven’t seen so much blood since they took the scissors to his lordships piles.

@baked: Sendak wrote ten sentences. The movie is 101 minutes. The Cap’n isn’t dismissing Sendak, but Dave Eggers and Spike Jonze.

@nojo: Which well explains at least the perception of it being a sad, depressing story. Spike Jonze had been trying for years to come up with a script, and it wasn’t until he went through that messy divorce with Sofia Coppola that he found an angle.

@mellbell: Trying to recapture the magic of childhood, the pure sense of wonder, the zen selfless ability to just be and experience, is hard. Weed helps. When I am despairing, it is always and only because I have lost it, and can’t find, it, that childlike pure wonder and love for the world. I spend all my time trying to recapture it.

@Promnight: Well, there you go: You can’t recapture it, since that world of awe is familiar by now. But just because you’re a grownup, doesn’t mean the universe is less mysterious. Funny thing about the horizon: It never gets closer.

@nojo: Yes. I was watching The Atheism Tapes, and Jonathan Miller and Richard Dawkins were talking about how often they experience awe and wonder and love for the world, things some deists assume atheists are incapable of because they reject the idea of a creator. In essence, you can reach a transcendent state by examining mitochondria or clouds without believing in the divine. The same goes for the magic of childhood — you don’t have to be a child to just be.

@Promnight: I may only be speaking for myself here, but I remember childhood being as much a period of anger, sadness, confusion, and frustration of the kind portrayed in Where The Wild Things Are as one of pure wonder and zen (which, it should be noted, is also fairly represented therein). That’s why the film doesn’t strike me as particularly sad. It just is.

@mellbell: That’s what made me a metalhead who especially identifies with Metallica’s songs of anger, sadness, confusion, and frustration*, although I’m on a U2 kick right now. Friday night in Vegas was like a religious experience in that it was uplifting, inspirational and emotional. We’re already planning to see them again in Denver in June next year.

Son of RML is a 7th grade metalhead and skater. He had to write a poem for school so I suggested “shoot my father, stab my mother, burn a pentagram in my hand” which we thought was hilarious, but that’s just us.

U2 on U2ube: rebroadcast of the Rose Bowl show from Sunday-

* Fade to Black, Bleeding Me, Some Kind of Monster, The Unknown Feeling and Wasting My Hate to name a few.

BTW, life is full of magic and beauty if you know where to look. It’s like looking for fish in a river. Once you know how, you can spot them.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment