Blade of Glory

We have ways of making you block.Vince Lombardi was a famously butch football coach, although our vague memory of him denying players sideline heaters during the Ice Bowl seems to be faulty. Still, Lombardi was a pussy compared to the assistant coach at Lakeland, Florida’s Kathleen High:

[Christopher Michael] Campbell of Lakeland pointed the knife in a threatening manner several times at one of the players, 16-year-old Otis Buford, “poking him and tapping him on the chest and on the helmet with it while also verbally threatening him,” deputies said in a news release…

Deputies said Campbell admitted to [athletic director Gary] Lineberger that he brought the knife to practice and that he told players, “Don’t try me today.”

Coming from a university whose mascot is a cartoon waterfowl, we can appreciate the challenges faced by coaches at Kathleen High. But if the team is “very close” to the coach, as the A.D. says, one question comes to mind: Who finked?

Lakeland assistant coach arrested for having knife at practice [Tampa Tribune]

A knife?

I thought Hockey parents were bad.

See this goes back to JNOV’s whole sexism argument. When in our culture are people going to be allowed to be something other than a 1 or a 6 on the Kinsey scale?

I love football becasue the physicality of it is dynamically sexy. The only thing better than a Ray Lewis tackle is a Jennifer Beals tackle. See, I’m allowed to say that becasue I am a perfect lesbian 6 on the Kinsey scale.

Fucking puke. A hardcore coach wouldn’t waive a knife at the less-than-optimally performing players. They’d pistol whip underperforming players unconscious, stand astride their heads and wake them up by pissing on their faces.

The only thing more disgusting than the jock asshole in this story is the Tampa readers who are defending him in the comments. We’ll not even discuss the ham-fisted attempt to somehow bring Obama into the mess.

My FSM, the Chicago Stinquers know how to show a girl a good time!!

@SanFranLefty: I was wondering when you guys would surface. ::green::

@SanFranLefty: We aim to please, my dear.

@JNOV keeps her O face private: We’re all alive and accounted for, if a bit worse for the wear. Don’t expect to hear much from HF today.

i am so jealous! i have not been able to make any stinque ups!
i believe the very first one was lefty, jnov and the proms in philly. at the bar i vomited in more than any other!
but i have my first one coming up next month…with bloggies cat.
he’s going to london for his bday, and i won’t have to stay at my dad’s.
yep, me and lilly…gonna do nyc.

@flippin eck: My favorite moment was this morning at brunch when HF whipped out his cell and let out an audible sigh and said “Oh thank God” when he saw he hadn’t sent any drunken texts out last night.

@baked: Give me a rough idea of when you’ll be around. I’ll come to the city if I can. Don’t know if anyone else is within striking distance of the UWS. I might go to Vienna early Jan. Apart from that I plan to be here.

@noje. Srsly. Beware the penis fly trap? You do know that I’m beginning to have inappropriate dreams about you? This approaches Lead a horse to water territory, big guy. Don’t make me come out there and play you the concept album for Sunset.

Oh. It’s just me here is it? Fine! I suppose everyone’s busy. Good. I have things to do. I have a life. I’m going out now to spank the car.

@Benedick: I’m here. Well, mostly here. Watching kids’ movies between Sport updates and catching up on email. I for one am supremely thankful you jettisoned ALW, he was very creepy. Now you look rather Jeebus-like.

I’m here, but am about to go watch yesterday’s Washington Week In Review with my lovely wife. Big Saturday night, eh?

Florida never fails to bring teh krayzee.

@SanFranLefty: You didn’t confiscate the cell-phone last night? What kind of friend is that?

@Benedick: I’m going out now to spank the car. I want to know what delicious perversion that is Limey-speak for.

Hey Homiez, back from attending services at the Chur ch of Holy Rock and Roll in Vegas with U2. Could not log in last night with the BB.

Mrs RML knows Lakeland and says it’s a fucking hole.

@Dodgerblue: We hung pictures and decompressed from the road. 28 hr roadie. Martini and Goodfellas in front of the fire now.

@Jamie Sommers: No way – Southwest got us there in less time than it took to get our fucking rental car. Then there was the crawl to get to the gig.

You know the “Zoo Station” line – I”‘m ready for the gridlock?” That was totally the traffic situation. We missed all but two songs by Black Eyed Peas because we got there late but before U2 came on. A friend took more than 2 hrs to get out of the parking lot after the show, and others waited longer for taxis from the gig. I saw something about $100 fares from the stadium to the Strip. It was a fucking disaster on some levels that had nothing to do with the band.

@Pedonator: Fawlty Towers. Gourmet night when Basil is racing back to the hotel with a roasted duck and the car won’t start. He gets out and says to it “I’ve warned you about this,” and starts to beat it with a twig. God, it’s funny.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment