The Pies Have It

Beats tossed salad.Michael Steele, last seen chewing his cud, offers some handy immigration tips to Univision viewers:

Basically what we should be saying is that there are rules that you need to get into the country, go the right door, fill out the right form, have some apple pie, hum a few bars of the Star Spangled Banner and get to work, God bless you, and I think that that begins to set us on the right road to dealing with this issue.

We checked, and no, Steele wasn’t doing a Nixon-style self-mocking sketch for Sabado Gigante.

Steele: We Don’t Need Comprehensive Health Care Reform [TPM]

This following poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush.

Make the Pie Higher

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It’s a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

@Capt Howdy: I’m developing an unhealthy fascination with your posts, sailor. This is so beautiful. I must add it to my collection of Rumsfeld’s lays.

Maybe we need to revive Stinque After Dark as a chatroom.

PS. I’m so glad they cut the pie fight. Not as good as the insanely lyrical finale of the film as it now stands. The kind of idea that comes to one at 3am and should be jettisoned with the dawn.

the unhealthy fascination is mutual

Steele is a gift.

My mother in law made a pie with apples from Sen. Tom Udall’s (D-NM) tree. Staff gave us apples when we had a meeting at his local office last week. Good pie. She makes an amazing crust.

maybe its just me but Im thinkin that after the world wide success of the movie American Pie that apple pie is not the first thing furreniers think of obtaining when the arrive.

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