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Good mascots are hard to find these days, but if a college team is in the market, we strongly recommend the Fightin’ Kakapos, for reasons that will become apparent in approximately 47 seconds. Should you be drinking a beer right now during our Stinque Tailgate, we advise you set it down.

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Hey SFL and JNOV, da Bruins are in town vs. LSJU aka The Farm. Could be fun if the Bruins hold form, spot their opponent a lead and then play just well enough to win.

Not a weekend for domestic tranquility:

New Mexico at Texas Tech. My alma mater (two degrees from there have not harmed my professional prospects) goes to Lubbock, home of Buddy Holly and Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks, with a 0-4 record to take on Mrs RML’s Red Raiders. A former newspaper colleague predicts an 0-5 New Mexico record at the end of the day, and that the New Mexico coach will punch a cheerleader. (You may recall that he slugged his WR coach about a 10 days ago. Since he has a losing record, the long knives are out.)

Dallas at Denver. Mrs RML’s Cowboys are struggling (lost inaugural game in their new Palace of Sport) whilst my Broncos are staggering to wins (3-0) like a drunk across four lanes of traffic. Broncs will go 4-0 and there will be frozen silence in the house.

@Dodgerblue: Oh great, that means all the Uklah fans will be out in force at the Ferry Building this morning. But in a bigger sports matchup, I’m cheering for those Bears to recover from their spanking from the Donald Ducks in Eugene and kick some U$C ass.

@redmanlaw: Don’t talk about the Cowboys.

@SanFranLefty: Yes, “Cal” has a somewhat snooty attitude towards UCLA, but USC out-snoots Cal easily.

And, note to my Dodgers: just win a fucking game, OK?

Shoot — if the boys beat UCLA (a school with respect to which I am strangely ambivalent), they go Top 25, probably. COME ON YOU CARD!

In other news: CHI 1:0 FLA in Saturday Morning Hockey, live from Helsinki.

(Incidentally — for those who are not initiated, why not try the NHL Network about 1945 (ET) tonight? The game featured by the Hockey Night in Canada boys will be dull as dishwater — the stellar Washington Capitals against the worse-than-useless Maple Leafs. But! The first intermission will feature Coach’s Corner, with Don Cherry. A cultural institution. And the dude can dress himself quite nicely — although he does have a certain penchant for Warner Bros. cartoon characters on his ties, for which I cannot account.)

Dodgerblue: Hell, at least your boys weren’t the Red Sox this week. Cripes — they are stumbling to the finish. The Angels will have them for lunch in the ALDS.

I wonder how many times Jim Fowler had to rescue Marlon Perkins from this predicament. Definitely not the kind of entertainment the good people at Mutual of Omaha presented to the youth of America.

@Dave H: Marlon mostly stayed in the truck or behind the blind with the crew.

@Dave H: @blogenfreude: My dad used to love to point out how Graduate Student Jim had to take the brunt of the animal abuse while Marlin stayed safely out of range. And wasn’t he a grad student for like 8 years? The ratings board must’ve held the poor guy’s thesis hostage.

ADD: As per usual, I remain blissfully ignorant to all things Sport this weekend.

@Dodgerblue: So many fucking U$C fans walking around the Ferry Building this morning. Is there a rule that their female fans, ages 18-68, must have bleached blond hair and too much makeup? (See, e.g. Cindy McCain) Gah! Get out of my fucking way, dumb bitches, I’ve got nectarines to buy!

@SanFranLefty: Yes. Plus surgical enhancement.

Ooh, the Tree just fumbled and UCLA recovered.

TJ to a sport I care about, Fashion:
Chicago’s loss of the Olympics in the first round of voting can clearly be linked to Michelle O’s hideous fashion choices. It was the IOC’s way of saying “Oh. Honey. NO.”
What is with her and the cocktail dresses in the daytime? This is not a first offense, people.

@Dodgerblue: Oh, you mean in that game that Uklah is losing 24-6?

Is this the definition of skull fucking?

SanFranLefty: STAN 24:13 UCLA now. But still a decent result thus far.

But a lot of fans dressed as empty seats. The secret’s still safe, it appears.

@chicago bureau: Oh, The Tree could still snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory, don’t worry.

Gorgeous weather here today – and the free music up at Golden Gate Park – may be pulling away some of the LSJU fans.

@SanFranLefty: Now 24-16 Tree. UCLA needs a TD and a 2-point conversion, but they’ve been going limp inside the 20 all afternoon.

@Dodgerblue: Who’s got the 3-0 record in the Pac10?

@SanFranLefty: Not my boys. You guys have a shot at beating USC this year.

@SanFranLefty: Is it Hardly Strictly weekend??? I have a standing invite from a best bud who lives in SF to visit, crash and take in the music, and this year’s lineup seemed particularly good, but of course I couldn’t swing it…again.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: Yes indeedy, it’s a busy time of year here in EssEff. Last week was Folsom Street Fair, this weekend is HSB and Castro Street Fair, next week is Fleet Week with the Navy’s ships and Blue Angels and seamen galore in San Francisco.

This weekend, we are enjoying the embarrassment of riches of musical talent all for free courtesy of an eccentric local billionaire. I was reporting live on FB last night.

ADD: I forgot to mention during my U$C diatribe above, to add to the only-in-EssEff weekend, Mr. SFL and I were grabbing a bite this morning at the Ferry Building and heard an excited voice say “Alice Waters? Oh my God, it is you” and turned around and saw the high priestess of Chez Panisse and Californian locavore cuisine standing one foot behind Mr. SFL with an excited foodie tourist couple fawning over her.

Two words: Tebow. Bow before your new fundie christian football overlord.

@Promnight: It only took Roethlesburger’s first taste of fame, which no doubt included more a$$ than Finley Ohio ever could have offered, before Jeebus went out the window.

@homofascist: No, this is neck humping at best. For it to be official skull fucking, the bird would have had to rip out the guy’s eyes and penetrated the sockets.

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