Coup Are You?

Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream.

Newsmax, which we think is a kinder, gentler version of WorldNetDaily — in other words, less fun — nudged the teabagging storyline a tad further today, and then quickly nudged it back. Columnist John L. Perry:

There is a remote, although gaining, possibility America’s military will intervene as a last resort to resolve the “Obama problem.” Don’t dismiss it as unrealistic…

Imagine a bloodless coup to restore and defend the Constitution through an interim administration that would do the serious business of governing and defending the nation. Skilled, military-trained, nation-builders would replace accountability-challenged, radical-left commissars. Having bonded with his twin teleprompters, the president would be detailed for ceremonial speech-making.

Military intervention is what Obama’s exponentially accelerating agenda for “fundamental change” toward a Marxist state is inviting upon America. A coup is not an ideal option, but Obama’s radical ideal is not acceptable or reversible.

Chickenhawks that they are, Newsmax yanked the column faster than you can say “precious bodily fluids.” We’re undecided whether Mr. Perry should enjoy some of that wonderful health care at Gitmo, or just be stuffed into a FEMA camp with the rest of us.

Full Text Of Newsmax Column Suggesting Military Coup Against Obama [TPM]
53 Comments

Did I stumble into a universe of where Dr Strangelove, Life of Brian, Blazing Saddles and A Fish Called Wanda are actual guides to political discourse in US America?

Yes, I think I have.

@ManchuCandidate: real life is pulling satire’s pants down. has been for about the last decade.

TJ: Florida Federal Judge to gheyz: Suck it! Don’t come to Disneyworld and expect to hold your spouse’s hand in the hospital or make any decisions for him or her!

@Signal to Noise: Remember when everyone was fretting about the Death of Satire once Bush left office? We were so young and innocent then.

@ManchuCandidate: Note that the Scots are rated low because they are “too noisy.” [Insert sheepfucking joke here].

@ManchuCandidate: Americans “too rough”? Jesus, World. All you freakin’ had to do was say the safe word.

@nojo: and in stepped teabaggers to fill the void in our hearts and funny bones.

@SanFranLefty:

Oh for God’s sake. Why don’t they just take away our right to own property or be employed while they are at it? That would never have been the decision if it had been a straight couple.

Spanish men rate higher than English?

Colour me amazed.

@Signal to Noise: And even then, a few months in, I thought, this can’t last. But with primary season approaching, and candidates playing to the wingnut base, I suspect we’ll have plenty of material for the duration.

@nojo: in that vein I presume Going Rogue will be a Stinque Book Club selection.

@Signal to Noise: Only if we can acquire the book-on-tape version read by Tina Fey (per Cap’n Howdy’s suggestion).

@Signal to Noise: I’d run it this Sunday (it’s already #2 at Amazon), but the Serious Folk wanna talk Steinbeck. Then again, no problem waiting — the inevitable flame war in Amazon comments will probably be raging for a long time.

If you think the idea of a coup is crazy, just wait – the wingnuts will top themselves within 5 or 6 days, trust me.

the really scary part is considering that he could be right.

you know Becks book is #1

@Capt Howdy: Darling, I gave you a COTD yesterday for your hilarious Going Rouge comment. I think you’re contributing some great stuff, and I’m sure others agree–the @ love is a fickle mistress.

@nojo: Can I take half credit for the tweet? I can’t aspire to actually writing one, but finding one is almost as good.

@flippin eck: You can take full credit. Source doesn’t matter — you brought it to our attention.

@flippin eck: I would listen to Tina Fey read the phone book. Fine by me.

@nojo: it’s an evergreen.

@Capt Howdy: And you got an avatar! Nice.
@SanFranLefty: It would serve them right if the gheyz abandoned South Beach so the crackheads could take over again. Hey Florida, how would your economy look with no gay tourist $$$? Maybe we should find out.
@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: There is no substitute for having the legal rights of a spouse. Which is one reason whyMr Cyn and I have decided to get married. Yes, you read that right. In Hawaii, in Dec. (If you’re free the weekend before Xmas, come to Kona!) I need to talk to nojo about setting up a stinque kick-back portal to my Amazon bridal registry. . . .

@Mistress Cynica: I would consider it an honor to cash in on your special moment.

@Mistress Cynica:
thanks
I had to figure it out because I hate dumb nubie questions.

and congratulations!

@ManchuCandidate: Hmm, a “poling” poll? It cannot help but be utterly worthless, this “poll.” First of all, where are you going to find a sample with diverse enough experience to rate the various nationalities? And really, its a poll of a poll, or at least, of the results of numerous polings, by way of a poll; no woman could have had enough experiences with each of the various nationalities to ensure an adequate sample size such that the woman’s opinion can be trusted.

No, what they must have done was give the women of each country a poll in which they rated the men of that country, and rated them on various negatives and positives, then compared the scores. So really, the results reflect the complaints women have about men, by country, rather than the men as sex-masters per se. French women would rate their men highly, even if they are all stinky two-pump chumps, because the french are chauvinists (a french word for a french vice) and believe their press. Latin women, they would lie just to brag on their men, US amurrican women, yeah, I could see the number one complaint being “too rough,” given the prevalence of domestic violence here. Swedish women probably bitch about the dudes popping off too soon because they expect a good hour and a half, dammit.

Who the fuck can believe that German WOMEN would complain that the men are hairy?

@Mistress Cynica: OMG congrats! Smart woman to organize a destination wedding to warmer climes in the winter too. And even though I’ve sworn off being a bridesmaid ever again, I could nobly rise to the occasion if you needed me…pretty please?

@Prommie:
It’s just good for a laugh. I doubt that anyone’s slept with all nationalities involved.

Re: Coup

The US military only has a 50 year history of 100% failure in foreign wars and “nation-building,” so a domestic coup seems totally reasonable.

And is this really how it’s gonna end? With BHO holed up in the French embassy while the US militards blast “Achy Breaky Heart” over the loudspeakers 24/7?

Thanks, everyone! @flippin eck, we were going to visit Mr Cyn’s son, who lives there, and decided it would be the perfect time to get married. Wish you could be there to stand up with me–right now, it’s looking like the witnesses/attendants will be Mr Cyn’s ex-wife and her new husband, since they’re the only adults we know there. It’s too Noel Coward for words.

These Newsmax people need to be kicked to death.

What’s with Wales being ‘too selfish’ ? What does that mean? They show up with a pizza and a hard-on and ask to be sucked off while eating the whole pizza by themselves?

@Mistress Cynica: Congrats! Very happy for you. Word to the wise (I would take you out for a four martini lunch to lay this on you but continental divide and all) : (whispers) the first 35 years are the hardest. After that it gets truly impossible.

You must do this for me: stand on your terrace, martini in hand, intended beside you; look out on the bay and all the yachts floating at anchor; point at one and say:

Ms Cyn: (indignantly) Whose yacht is that?
Mr Cyn: The Duke of Westminster’s, I expect. It always is.

It makes me laugh like a zany whenever I see that play.

@Mistress Cynica: Congrats to you and Mr Cyn – awesome news! Same reason Mr SFL and I did it. The exwife as maid of honor is too much!

Nojo, General Jack Ripper never advocated a domestic coup. You’re mixing up your Cold War movies. The military whacko you’re looking for is General James Mattoon Scott from “Seven Days in May”, played to cold blooded perfection by Burt Lancaster.

@Mistress Cynica: Congratulations to the both of you! Lucky, lucky man.

Meanwhile, Glenn Beck is saying that he is concerned that Obama has never officially denied that he is planning a “crystalnacht” operation which will use a fake terrorist attack as pretense for grabbing dictatorial powers and finally putting an end to democracy and freedoms.

They are all over the place, he’s a commie, he’s a fascist, he’s about to be overthrown by a military coup, he’s about to do a paramilitary powergrab and seize power.

It was true, what we predicted, Black President = White Fucktards go Insane.

@Mistress Cynica: Many many congratulations! That’s wonderful about the ex-wife in the wedding party. It’s refreshing to see there’s at least one who hasn’t held a grudge.

@Promnight: Obama has also never officially denied that he’s the leader of a Reptilian invasion and that the FEMA internment camps are actually stockyards. Beck is aiming too low.

@Dave H: She is really a lovely person, and we get along very well with her and her husband. When she told Mr Cyn jr about the wedding, he called me to say he was so happy and excited for us (he’s 10). I feel so very lucky not to be getting into one of those acrimonious situations.

@Mistress Cynica: That’s so awesome and so adult of all parties. I’ve been telling Mr. SFL that I’m so stressed out I want to go to Hawaii for a long weekend (to non Left Coasters: yes, that’s possible as it’s closer to Honolulu than Chicago from here)….my birthday is right around then…hmm. Will keep you posted if we get our crap together.

And again, my greatest congratulations. Having met both of you, my impression was you two are a great duo who seem very complimentary and are so beyond bullshit and drama. And a good looking couple, to boot!

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, I could tell you stories of Mrs. Prom’s family, headed by the ex-episcopal priest, and his various wives, and our get-togethers, but she would get angry.

@Mistress Cynica: Whoa! So is there an online smoker for Mr Cyn in the works? Congrats.

@Mistress Cynica: Well, here is one from my family that I can tell. I once went on a mass family vacation, canal boats on the Midi, no less, and into the Camargue, in one boat was I and Mrs. Prom and her daughter from first marriage and our son. In the other boat was my sister, and her current husband, and her daughter from her first husband, and her son from her second husband, and the son’s wife, and also, her 2nd husband, and his wife, father of the son. We drank a lot. This was the trip where I discovered that they sell wine from gas pumps, you bring your jug, they fill it up, and charge you by the liter.

@SanFranLefty: That would be so awesome! Your birthday is the day before Mr Cyn jr’s, so it could be a whole weekend of celebration.
@Promnight: Blended families are so much better than blended whiskey. Ask any Episcopalian.

@Dave H: You and Olbermann nailed me on Burt. I offer no excuses, and my Netflix queue has been updated.

@Mistress Cynica:

OMG…congrats sweetheart!! to mr. cyn, of course!!

ahh, weddings are so wonderful, i can’t get enough.
now, marriage on the other hand….see:benedick

no no, it’s wonderful, i haven’t drawn blood from ratbastard since the flight from ben gurion to heathrow 2 whole weeks ago! 10 years, and going strong!

and the blended family thing is grand, i enjoy my exes wives much more than the exes…best of luck to you darling. really.

@Mistress Cynica: This is wondrful news. However, you do know that Nojo demands a dowry be paid for every Stinquette that gets legal, don’t you? He’ll consider a waiver if you opt for the JC Superstar themed wedding party (he gets royalties from the plastic blood money used to toss at the wedding party).

I love weddings, because you get to see people go from well-dressed to dishevelled in a matter of hours. Ours was a Modified Balkan, which means we actually wrapped up the party befor sunrise.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: I’ll waive the royalty if I can perform King Herod’s Song before the first dance.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: Now you see, I’m interested that I’m not the only one here to pick up on dear nojo’s… I won’t say obsessive, but still, perhaps, overenthusiastic embrace of the ALW oeuvre. I auditioned for Herod once. It’s not pretty.

@The Nabisco Quiver are Go!: There will be a big party in Orygun next summer to celebrate–stinquers mark your calendars. Nojo will be the opening act.

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