The Hypocritic Oath

That’s gonna be one hay-ell of an annulment.

OhPleaseOhPleaseOhPlease Great Flying Spaghetti Monster, let it be a ghey seks scandal.

ADD: The State Bar of California is having its annual meeting at one of his Sandy Eggo hotel. Lots of strum und drang in the state’s legal rags re: whether to boycott him and move it to another hotel.

And while we’re stateside, a big Twitter Hello to Dennis Herrera, SF City Attorney! Any Bay Stinquers have an idea why he would be interested in our humble little blog?

@nojo: Excuse my ignorance but how can you tell?

Oh, and I have a few theories.

Bestiality can’t wait!

@SanFranLefty: Twitter sends automated subscription messages:

Dennis Herrera (SFCityAttorney) is now following your tweets on Twitter.

For the record, I moved to Sandy Eggo from Frisco in 2002. Surely the parking tickets have expired by now.

Can’t wait for his explanation about how “teh gheys” caused his divorce!

Speaking of lawyers, I had lunch today with a friend who defends criminal cases by court appointment. Here is one of his fact patterns. His client is a male hooker who gets into a disagreement with a patron and strangles said patron. The DA doesn’t ask for the deal penalty, so the client gets a sentence of life without parole. In state prison, he promptly strangles his cellmate. The DA asks for death this time and my friend is appointed to defend. The trial judge in L.A. gets upset about how long it takes to bring the defendant down to court from state prison (about a 2 hour drive) and orders him moved to the local county jail, whereupon the defendant strangles his new cellmate.

Stop laughing, there really is a serious issue in the case. If the jury finds that it’s second degree murder (no deliberation or premeditation), then the client is not death-eligible under Cal law.

@Dodgerblue: Stop laughing, there really is a serious issue in the case.

State liability?

@Dodgerblue: Damn, I’d have a job for this guy if he wasn’t in stir. Hard to help with grit these days.

@FlyingChainSaw: Damn, I’d have a job for this guy if he wasn’t in stir.

Gaffer during “FOX and Friends”?

@nojo: That’d be my guess. Point at the judge and say “well, he ordered my client moved”.

@Dodgerblue: I don’t suppose it occurred to anyone to move him to solitary, or at least into a cell alone.

@Dodgerblue: No premeditation? Boy, he must be one quick strangler.

/choke the chicken joke

@Dodgerblue: And no, I will not stop laughing.

@Mistress Cynica: Of course not. Times are tough. They have to find cost-effective ways to reduce the prison population. That’s why they’re sending this guy on a 20 prison tour.

@Dodgerblue:
Does the strangler take requests?

@ManchuCandidate: My buddy says he’s a very nice guy, just has a bit of an anger management problem. Having said that, though, my buddy won’t talk to him except through two inches of glass.

@Dodgerblue:
“He’s a very nice guy, just has a bit of an anger management problem.”

Dude, I just sprayed half of my martini on the laptop. You owe me a drink.

@Jamie Sommers: California prisons are at 300% of capacity, infested with swine flu and race wars, and under federal receivership, I’m surprised the state hasn’t hired him to help reduce the prison population and improve the recidivism stats.

@SanFranLefty: It’s certainly hard to re-offend when you’re dead.

Speaking of offensive, Penguins opens tonight — if you’re in Seattle, you would be a fool to miss it. Fri/Sat at 11, Sun at 8 until the 28th, Annex Theatre, $10 at the door or pre-order on Brown Paper Tickets.

@IanJ: I normally go to SEA every other August….unfortunately for Penguins and you, this is my off year… break a leg!

@SanFranLefty: Even one good serial strangler can’t make a dent in the California prison population.

If we could just find it in our hearts to release non-violent offenders, I think we could solve this budget conundrum…and have some pin money to spend.

@Dodgerblue: Talkin’ bout the midnight rambler.