The Last Raspberry

Pfffffffft!No time to work up a formal introduction, so we’re going to dump you straight into our Open Thread/Door-Slamming Concerto for Sarah Palin’s final speech as governor, live from Fairbanks. If you’re near a TV, CNN’s got the show. Otherwise you’re on your own.


The Kids are in the Hall on stage, so let’s fire up the barbie.

Where are the roses? Where are the roses? Dammit!

CNN has an “all-platform journalist.” Does he report as well on grass as on clay?

@nojo: Guess they could collect enough. heehee

CNN’s All-Platform Journalist requires special adjustments to report with Internet Explorer.

@Mistress Cynica: Team Sarah got around to saying they’ll keep anything raised over five grand for wild parties at the home office.

It’s a great scam. WorldNetDaily is also “raising money” for Birther Billboards, but the fine print mentions that they’re not obligated to spend it that way.

While you wait for it to start, enjoy democracy in action, a.k.a. Public Comment time at the Santa Cruz City Council meeting.

Tornado warning for Queens? Is this normal?

I’m waiting for everyone to break out in song.

CNN All-Platform Journalist encounters Blue Windscreen of Silence.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I decided that I really don’t give a shit. I’m about to try to watch some more of Frost/Nixon.

@SanFranLefty: That’s like a live performance of Letters to the Editor.

I’d start a run-on meter, but it’s already stripped the gears.

She complains how Fox News is abusing the right the troops die for: “Quit making things up.”

What? Oh, right.

Leave Sean Parnell’s kids alone!

CNN’s website isn’t running it. Home page is taken up by cute white girl who went missing 4 years ago.

Alaskans are the “resource owners”. Socialism for all!

Basically replaying the resignation speech right now…

“Hollywood needs to know: We eat, therefore we hunt.”

Be wary of government largesse — such as Wasilla sucking on DC’s teat?

“Alaska is the gatekeeper of the continent.” Lou Dobbs demands Canadian fence.

That’s all, folks. God, she has to run for president.

Saracuda is yesterday’s moose meat. Here’s someone that’ll make your loins luoda;

@nojo: Three seconds was all I managed, then it was on demand Looney Tunes. That Daffy Duck is crazy!

@Nabisco: Me, I’m fascinated at how many cliches she can stuff into one breath.

“In a sworn affidavit, a Tennessee state investigator has said that Stanley admitted to having a “sexual relationship” with a 22-year-old female intern working in his office, and to taking nude pictures of her in “provocative poses” in his apartment.”

Depending on the obviously sexually ‘provocative poses’ , do we know where the biblically-motivated Stanley stands on the ‘scale’ of republican sex scandals? Does his intern need to have a crucifix affixed, her playful nun’s garment gashed, taking communion on her knees, passing her bread basket for donations, humming a hymn … ?

@moeman: Del Mar? That’s cruel, dude. Keep Carrie out of my neighborhood.

@moeman: Our scale is based on Diapers, so it takes a good deal of perversity to show up on the meter — mere hypocrisy is conventional. We’re also all veterans of Cocktober, when it was open season on male interns in Congress.

(Digression: a Billy Mays commercial on CNN?)

So a consenting-adult situation, even with an intern, even with a Bible-thumper, is a difficult call. We weren’t even sure what to do with Ensign until C Street started tipping the scales.

@nojo: Ok, I’ll just keep priming da pump and see what kinda numbers Stanley hits on the scale. Here’s some info that may tilt the diaper total;

~ “Stanley’s Ex-Wife Claims He Strangled Her And Called Her A Whore”. … “hit her with a tremendous blow then turned and ran away.”

~ A mention of Romper Room has to be worth at least a 1/2 a diaper …”If someone is able to come up with enough photographs of you playing Romper Room with your favorite intern”

~ McKinsey is cute, I’ll take back the 1/2 diaper. Scroll down for fox(y) video.

@nojo: picking up on your digression: Billy Mays has some kind of iconic cool on the school yard. My fourth grader’s camp group had a talent show last week, and they fought over who was going to get to play Billy Mays in a skit about cable television commercials. Jr. opted to play the animated remote control.

@nojo: Letters to the Editor of the San Francisco Chronicle.

@moeman: Romper Room, provocative photos, strangulation of ex-wife….hmm, the diaper is starting to fill up. I’m moving it from 2.5 diapers to 3.5 diapers.

@SanFranLefty: Didn’t we do this one last week, I remember commenting on the unreliability of restraining order certifications.

I hate you! There is no TV in my hotel room! I hate you!

@nojo: I hate you! Tell us some of the cliches!

As far as Moosecunt, I mean, you don’t need to watch anything she says anymore, she has long ago exhausted her repertoir. Its all the same. The grammatical painting herself in a corner, the non-sequitors, not so much the cliches, but how she manages to get the cliches wrong when she trys for a cliche. The only reason to watch is the chance her face will split apart, and the reptilian alien inside will emerge.

@Promnight: I fell asleep on the couch. I was a dead fish, and I went with the flow. Where am I?

Missed it due to travel. Greeting from the Fort Peck Indian Reservation in Poplar Montana, less than an hour south of socialist health care.

@FlyingChainSaw: No, she is very tame, she never bites.

@blogenfreude: Those responsible for my moose comment have been sacked.

@blogenfreude: Right. You have to have a very strong jaw to really chomp a moose effectively.

/Video whoring!

Remember Pastor Leroy Swailes and his testimonkey about gay marriage in DC? I took the video, chopped it down and added some silly commentary and Run DMC! Short and sweet!

Leroy Swailes Brings teh Krazee!

@Promnight: Did she give the moose the finger? I mean, the creature must have been provoked. You never read police reports about moose attacking people or challenging people to knife fights.

@FlyingChainSaw: I believe it was a moose porn incident involving my brother-in-law, the dentist.

Completely off the wall threadjack, anyone fascinated by cool toys-gizmos, or by people who would spend thousands of hours creating them?

@JNOV keeps her O face private: They like muffins? Like English muffins? I must be a moose! Hey, this video is great. Can we go to his church and bite his face? He in Philly?

@Promnight: Right. The sound of the drill gets them going. It’s a porn union rule that you can’t make moose porn in a dentist’s office. I read it somewhere.

A Møøse once bit my sister …

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse
with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
her by Svenge – her brother-in-law – an Oslo dentist and
star of many Norwegian møvies: “The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge Mølars of Horst

We apologise for the fault in the
subtitles. Those responsible have been

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…

@FlyingChainSaw: I think he’s down in DC, and you should embed it and make it a post. Please?

Moose love muffins, and mice love cookies.


Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III
Miss Taylor’s Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME
Møøse trained to mix
concrete and sign com-
plicated insurance
forms by JURGEN WIGG

Large møøse on the left
half side of the screen
in the third scene from
the end, given a thorough
grounding in Latin,
French and “O” Level
Geography by BO BENN

Suggestive poses for the
Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER
Antler-care by LIV THATCHER

The directors of the firm hired to
continue the credits after the other
people had been sacked, wish it to
be known that they have just been

The credits have been completed
in an entirely different style at
great expense and at the last

How do you know if a Talibunny likes Moosehead?

@FlyingChainSaw: I would, but I never learned shorthand as a reporter, and the cliches were flying fast. But basically it was a replay of the resignation speech, about 10 mph slower.

@FlyingChainSaw: By the antler burns on her thighs!


What, you were never in the ninth grade?

The day of Palin’s resignation, I checked her Twitter feed, and it jumped from 39,000 to 49,000 followers. Now it’s at 119,456. That’s entertainment!

@blogenfreude: Someone had some time on his hands.

“Antler-care by LIV THATCHER”

Very good.

@Benedick: Monty Python movie credits, if I’m not mistaken.

Hey. why don’t we just honor our brave troops fighting in battle for our liberty today by criticizing Sarah Palins retarded son and her knocked up slut daughter? You betcha, also.

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