God Answers Your iPhone Prayers
“I’d tell you, but then I’d have to smite you.”- “Why is it always Latin with you people?”
- “Why don’t you download Xenu’s app and ask him yourself?”
- “Has anybody ever thought to ask whether I hear the tree?”
- “Prosperity Gospel beseechers require an upgrade to iPray Plus.”
- “Thank you for asking, but I quit playing Scrabulous when everyone got tired of losing.”
- “Up up down down left right left right B A.”
- “I guess we could use the Vatican Bank, but I’d have to ask for 25 percent.”
- “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down…”
- “Resign now, and wait for instructions.”
Fair Oaks teen devises prayer app for iPhone [Sacramento Bee]
Sounds like Magic 8 Ball answers.
God is a random number generator.
Don’t forget the new medical marijuana locater app for iPhone.
Look for that kid to be involved in a GOP sex scandal in about thirty years.
@blogenfreude: Why wait? One of the C Street guys might be porking him now.
Speaking of technology, I don’t understand the whole Twitter thing, but this morning I stumbled upon Sarah Palin’s Twitter page. The graphics are almost as hee-larious as her posts.
Wait, so, he’s not answering my actual prayers for an iPhone? Damn.
How about my prayers that someone lets me use their miles for a ticket back to the States in 3 weeks? There’s $300 instant cash in it for ya!
I was rick rolled by Jesus!
Actually randomness is very powerful. Statistics runs on basic randomness. So does cryptology.
Heh. Thanks for that link.
Is that page as unreadable as it appears to me? Or are my eyes failing?
@SanFranLefty: Gratefulness should had never be misunderestimated.
@SanFranLefty: That is the best thing EVAR!
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…