Slurp

It’s OK – they’re just trying to correct for the pervasive media bias. Move along.

Yeah, telling the MSM to curtail a sex scandal. Uh, right.

Erich, you have better odds of becoming NAACP Chair than stopping the Sanford SexyTime Saga.

TJ: Birther and Army reservist who wanted his orders revoked because Barry ain’t the commander in chief because he ain’t no citizen gets his wish; orders revoked. However, I’m thinking some sort of disciplinary action might be in order.

@rptrcub: Is he related to Jimmy New?

@rptrcub: WorldNetDaily was playing that up last night, since attorney Orly’s one of their gals. But I was also thinking the major isn’t done with the matter.

Thematically related TJ: MSNBC cuts away occasionally to the Florida home-invasion double-murder case; apparently one of the eight defendants is a Special Ops vet.

Raw Story: Sanford cancels state meetings for trip with wife: Soon…

UPDATE: At least this time he’s hiking the Appalachian Trail with his wife.

Tapper was also caught sucking Sanford’s dick. His response from Gawker:

Politico reached Tapper for comment about the e-mails:

Busted. In retrospect, the story I was referring to wasn’t slimy enough — at that moment the only ones who knew of the governor’s affair were Sanford, his wife, his mistress, and the State newspaper. But I shouldn’t have said that, and I’ll try to leave the media criticism to others from now on.

@rptrcub: They should have let the orders stand, arrest him for desertation then have him shot, leaving him be feasted upon by the carrion birds and the wild beasts.

@rptrcub: The Freepers are running with this, where I am trying to become an approved commenter. The soldier was a commenter over there known as “Dog”.

Here’s Josh’s take on the RedState/Erickson thing.

TJ of Doom: AT&T just dumped four inches of phone books on my porch.

I don’t have an AT&T account.

@blogenfreude: I’d watch out for cordless SkilSaws, if I were he. She could bury his testicles under some leaf litter and they’d never be found.

@blogenfreude: But still leaving the sons (and state business) high and dry.

So the question must be asked: Why does Mark Sanford hate his children and South Carolina?

@rptrcub: I hope they Section 8 him. Let him go the rest of his life having to tell future employers that he’s the 21st century equivalent of Cpl. Klinger.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: My point exactly … if he needs to work on his marriage, he should step down. But no – those C Street fuckers are better than you and me.

Did Sen. Coburn really quote Ricky Ricardo to Sotomayor??
/goes off to slam hand in CB’s file cabinet

@SanFranLefty: Really? Got some ‘splainin’ to do? Does he think Cuba and Puerto Rico are the same place?

@SanFranLefty: Here you go.

@Dodgerblue: Yes, he really said to her “You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.” WHAT.THE.FUCK.

I’m getting a permanent bump on my forehead from repeatedly banging it against the wall and my desk.

@SanFranLefty: Si.

ADD: I should add that I don’t think he was trying to make a race related point, the way Sessions was yesterday. They were in the middle of her self-defense hypothetical where she left and got a gun after he threatened her. She said she would not be entitled to self-defense and would be in a lot of trouble. That’s when he jokingly tried to agree with her by saying she would have some ‘splain’ to do.

When is someone going to copy Colbert and do a Senor Wences impersonation? Jose Jiminez?

If an Asian ever gets on the US America Supreme Court, I’m going to be enjoying the GOP reversing their R’s and L’s, and going Ah Soh. Sessions will probably launch into his “Me Chinese, me play joke…”

@ManchuCandidate: Thats “pray” joke, sir.

I understand the hardest word in the world for the japanese is the shampoo, Prell.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: At least nobody’s called her “Maria” yet like Huckabee did. The brown people. So hard to tell them apart.

@ManchuCandidate: Harold Koh is on the short list, so it could happen sooner than we might think.

@Jamie Sommers says take this job & shove it!: It’s kind of on par with Michele Bachmann telling Michael Steele, “You be da man!” Idiotic and awkward, but somewhat short of downright offensive.

@Prommie: Bloggie can check this with his references, but “Prell” is most difficult because you stumble over whether it has one syllable or two. “Puh-rell” is likely how they’d try and approach it, but then the romaji for “r” and “l” are so close (ay-ru vs. eh-ru) that we end up with the comical Asian described by Manchu.

@SanFranLefty: Asian Supreme Court nominees are over-achievers who ruin the curve.

J.Lo, Rita Moreno and Rosie Perez (plus Daddy Yankee, Willie Colon and Luis Guzman) need to march on the committee hearing and show them what.the.fuck.is.up.

@redmanlaw: What, no love for Ricky Martin?

@mellbell: I agree. It’s hard to say whether Coburn is someone who made this particular reference to this particular person (offensive) or who’s perhaps a Lucy fan who makes these kinds of references a lot, not realizing how it would look here (awkward). If it’s the former, it would be kinda interesting to see this get some play in the MSM, just to have Coburn explain the context. It would make for a much needed GOP lesson in taking remarks out of context.

@Nabisco fought the lawn (and the lawn won): I know this to be true because I was addicted to the Comedy Central animated reality show “Drawn Together,” which had a character in it patterned after the Pokemon character Pikachu, and this character both loved and hated Prell for being such a wonderful shampoo, with such a horrible name.

The very best Pokemon satire was on TV Funhouse, by smigel, but thats another story, my abject worship of Smigel’s short-lived gem. The Best Comedy Show Ever. Suffice to say Smigel has FCS’s sensitivity and subtlety, combined with Monk’s leering lechery; brilliant, witty, obscene, disgusting, and extremely offensive, all the things I love about, well, first Wonkette, then CP, now Stinque.

@SanFranLefty: Well, for purposes of serving as a goon, he may have a deadly kick and spin as well as Jazz Hands of Death.

i had to just turn it off. my al franken was cringe worthy babbling about the love they shared for perry mason and went from there to an ignorant mini rant on internet regulations. she tossed it to congress.
are you watching this??
back to news blackout…..til that SFL bump on my head heals.

@Nabisco fought the lawn (and the lawn won): Girlfriend says no R/L distinction can be heard in the Japanese language, so that’s why they can’t hear the distinction (at least for the Japanese). Came into play when I had to explain the concept of “polygamy”.
@baked: Actually, he asked a couple good question, particularly the one ab0ut whether she’d ever decided a case on an issue not raised by either side.

/pause/

Am I missing something? I mean, seriously. I’m not watching these hearings, not even tuning in to the evening news roundup except for the Comedy Central laughfests. From what I can tell there are no pubic hair on a Coke can moments, no serious gaffes from any of the dimwits Republicans, and the nominee is pretty much coasting. Am I at risk of my kids asking me, ten years from now, "Daddy, what were you doing during the Sotomayor hearings?”

No? Well, carry on then.

/play/

@baked: Al was trying to couch the Internet in the First Amendment, which made no sense at all — the phone companies and such own the backbones, your cable or local phone company owns your local line, and (in our case) we rent a server from a Houston outfit. None of that involves the guvmint telling me what I can or cannot post.

Overall, Al certainly wasn’t embarrassing, but he wasn’t notable, either.

@Nabisco fought the lawn (and the lawn won): Zzzzz. Nunchucks and a couple other moments are pretty much it so far. Ricci might be entertaining, since Ricci has nothing to do with this.

@nojo: See now, I totally missed the nunchucks moment, but for the comments here and some of the tweets. I hope Stewart and Colbert covered it last night so I can see it tonight.

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: Video here.

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: You see Black Eagle’s opening pitch for the All Star Game last night? Sportscenter had it as part of game coverage, including locker room shots and a pre-game interview.

@nojo:
i thought it was a little embarrassing to ask something WE know the answer to!!!!!!
if he went on any longer with perry, i was reaching for a hanky.
oh, i found it notable, but not in a good way, but then i turned it off before bloggie said it went uphill.
he’s still my man. if you haven’t read his books, do. god i hope he doesn’t fuck this up.

@redmanlaw: Caught a bad replay vid on Fox sports online. I’m still convinced he was throwing a splitter – which is good enough reason to go to Willy Mays for batting – not pitching – lessons.

ADD: Nevermind. That’s a shot from some other game. I’m afraid to say that Bush had him in the effortless pitch category.

@Nabisco fought the lawn (and the lawn won): I will remember it as much as I remembered Alito’s hearings, which is to say, not much. I was far more interested in Roberts.

@Nabisco fought the lawn (and the lawn won): You have to be approved to comment over in Freeperville? What’s the litmus test for that? To suck on the balls of Ronald Reagan’s corpse while simultaneously giving Bill O’Reilly the reacharound and performing analingus on Rush Limbaugh’s ill-wiped, shitstained asshole, in addition to sucking on Talibunny’s titties?

@rptrcub: Well, Rush hasn’t returned my calls, so maybe I’ll just give up…

@rptrcub: And Erick will ban you for straying from the party line, even a little bit.

@baked: But what was Burger’s one win on Perry Mason? And do you prefer Raymond Burr as a lawyer, a wheelchair-bound investigator, or a creepy Hitchcock villain?

OMG, I know this is from the evil Denton empire, but my hometown paper apparently has come to the point of having “reporters” so dumb that they need a con law expert to refute the birther argument:

LAW/TODAY: Obama’s Presidential Eligibility — Atlanta Journal-ConstitutionTOP
[Limited to the Northeast/Southeast] I need an expert in constitutional law to tell me why Obama *is* eligible to be the president of the United States. Many people claim he is not the president because he was born in Hawaii. I need an expert to explain the eligibility requirement. Contact: Alyse Knorr, [redacted]

READ THE MOTHERFUCKING CONSTITUTION.

Another entry in our continuing feature, “Wendy Long Is A Hack” —

Sotomayor keeps referring to the Supreme Court’s “local” rules…it does not have “local” rules…not just a Circuit or district.

Oh, honey. No.

Item: Rules of the United States Supreme Court. All sorts of neat stuff therein. About the clerk, and deadlines, and briefing, and word counts, and motion practice. Like the Federal Rules of Appellate Procedure… only better!

Doofus.

@rptrcub: Ya gotta be careful of the pylonidal cyst when felching Limbaugh, thats crucial, if you want to be allowed the honor of posting at FR.

@rptrcub: It’s even worse:

Many people claim he is not the president because he was born in Hawaii.

Never mind the Con Law expert — how about just getting the argument right?

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: Mr. SFL and I were discussing Black Eagle’s pitch, and besides being limited by the body armor he was wearing under that Sox jacket (do you really need a jacket buttoned to the neck in St. Louis in July? No, but you do if you are trying to hide the body armor), he also was limited by his experience as a basketball player. Other than doing a long down-court pass, all shooting/passing in basketball is done from the shoulders forward, so it doesn’t feel natural for a basketball player to swing his/her arm and body all the way back for a strong baseball wind-up. On the other hand, if his sport of choice was tennis he’d have a great wind-up. Ditto if he played soccer – throw-ins train soccer players in the muscle memory for throwing a baseball – or quarterbacked in football.

@nojo:
Loser John “Loser” McCain was born in Panama, which apparently is less US American than Hawaii.

(Slaps forehead)

Oh right, McCain’s white.

@ManchuCandidate: Well, to be fair — as if this has anything to do with it — McCain had a congressional judgment or something declare that Panama was fair game, given that he was an Army brat.

But the issue has nothing to do with whether Barry was born in Hawaii. His mother was a natural-born citizen of Kansas, which should settle the matter (hah!), or at least make it a lot more obscure than birthers prefer.

Questions for Sotomayor about teh gheyz and butt seks – whoo hoo!

@rptrcub: I think my entire zip code has now been banned at Team Sarah because I was less than entirely and slobberingly effusive about her in a couple of postings that I thought might open the doors to a more fruitful discussion. They were not amused.

@baked: I haven’t watched a moment of this nonsense. All I know is that Democratic party strategists all across the country must be drowning their mistresses in Tattainger.

@SanFranLefty: The open stance for tennis also translates well to a balanced stance for shooting handguns. And, you can cast with a fly rod if you can throw a ball.

@redmanlaw: What about archery? I’m thinking of trying to have a new hobby – either archery or cello lessons.

TJ/ Seems the birther Major isn’t getting off.

Apparently, he’s been shit canned from his job (lost his clearance when he refused deployment) as a worker for a company that worked for the DoD.

@SanFranLefty: Archery would be cool. You could be our Geena Davis. Son of RML likes the bow. He shoots a recurve. He doesn’t care for the compound. I saw a nice wooden recurve at Tina’s Range Gear that I might pick up for about $200.

@SanFranLefty: Cello. But check out the civic orchestra scene around you first. If there are opportunities to play around you, it can be very rewarding. How’s your pitch perception?

@ManchuCandidate: Very tidy — makes the deadline for Keef tonight.

@SanFranLefty: I was thinking the same thing in re basketball motions v. baseball. His throwing mechanics are waaaay off for baseball (and I was judging that on the other first pitch).
@redmanlaw: My kids had very natural spin casts from an early age, but we’re still working on decent baseball throws.
@Benedick: I haven’t been banned – yet – but they really bullied me for seemingly trying to bait them into racist comments (who, me?) without having commented before. I’ve been playing nice, trying to build up confidence, but they are really a bunch of nutters at Team Sarah and I hope my interest wanes by the time I get up in the morning.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’m not even sure what “pitch perception” means, but I sure hope mine is better than my (in)ability to sing on-key.

@SanFranLefty: Speaking as someone who does both archery and cello, I can tell you that you’ll likely pick up archery a lot quicker. Cello sounds like ass for a few years before you start making good sounds with it, for a typical student. This can be really, really frustrating if you’re not accustomed to the learning curve for stringed instruments (note: this does not include fretted and strummed/plucked instruments, which sound good a hell of a lot quicker). It takes dedication and patience.

Archery, on the other hand, will probably show definite progress and competency within a few weeks or months, depending on how diligently you practice.

Your situation will also affect the decision: archery can, technically, be undertaken indoors, but you’ll need an understanding spouse/landlord and a Buddhist level of attachment to your possessions; more likely it takes a safe area outdoors, which can be hard to come by. Playing cello is far more enjoyable with partners or a group (for me, anyway) once you’re good enough to not be tripped up by the technicalities of it. If you can’t sing on-key, but can tell that you’re off-key, cello isn’t off the table, but I’d consider that another potential stumbling block to cello being an enjoyable pastime.

For what it’s worth, I started playing cello in 3rd grade, at about the age of 10, although I’ve been an inactive player for a while now; it’d take me a month or two of regular practice to be willing to play solo or in a small group again. I started arching in my late teens, but have never been diligent about practice. My favorite bow is a Magyar horse bow, which is a traditional Hungarian short-bow.

You’ll find that purchasing equipment will be a lot cheaper for archery: a good bow is $200-1000 (and I mean a good bow you’d be happy to keep for a lifetime), and arrows are under $50 a dozen for nice, custom-made arrows that fit you and your bow. A cello can be had for a few hundred dollars used, but a good cello that doesn’t hold you back starts at around $5000. Cello bows start at many hundreds of dollars for decent ones, again the cheaper ones work but will act against the player beyond a pretty basic level of competency. Of course, cellos can be rented, which is definitely what I’d recommend for the first year or two.

@IanJ: Wow, you are the renaissance man there. The other limitation on cello is that I have absolutely no place to store it in my 420 square foot apartment other than on the deck next to the barbecue.

My only reservation on archery is that I just finished reading a book about a kid who uses a bow and arrow to kill a bunch of classmates and it got me creeped out. (Said book was We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver).

@IanJ: I’ll second that. I got quite good with a bow and arrow with daily practice during a two-week sojourn at summer camp some years ago. The .22 on the other hand, not so much.

@ManchuCandidate: He’ll be offered wingnut welfare instantly.

@IanJ: Awesome. Jr. is hunting around for a new instrument to play in 4th grade (he’s been with piano since 6) and cello is on the table. We’ve sat through two recitals now where even the more advanced violin students are prone to the occasional howling cat, so I appreciate the learning curve. I can’t imagine it would be less steep with a reed instrument, would it?

@mellbell: The Mrs. achieved “junior sharpshooter” status in her behind-the-Iron-Curtain civil defense classes in secondary school. We do not keep weaponry around the house.

@SanFranLefty: study Arabic or Mandarin, very useful.

@blogenfreude: Perhaps he is taking after Gov. Wm J. La Petomane: “Gentlemen, the affairs of state must take precedence over the affairs of state.”

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: I’m trying to keep my Spanish from going to total shit. I don’t have enough brain cells left for a whole new language (and script).

@nojo:
was that what al asked her after i turned it off??

@baked: Let’s see…

1. Perry Mason.
2. First Amendment and Internet.
3. Judicial Activism.
4. Firing old guys before their pensions vest.
5. Perry Mason.

Maybe something else. It’s hard to remember. After this big “He went to Harvard” buildup, I was somewhat disappointed that his questions weren’t well-focused.

@mellbell: Did you try shooting from the other side?* Son of RML was a lousy shot until I remembered that some shooters have a dominant eye different from the dominant hand. He switched and got better immediately.

@Nabisco dreams of pay for play, or at least pay: Remember that Russian women were some badass snipers in The Great Patriotic War.

@SanFranLefty: Bows and arrows don’t kill people . . . but hey, how about Arizona passing a law saying you can carry guns in bars? Awesome.**

* I refrained from asking if you switched sides, which would have brought a torrent of indecent summer camp jokes from this crowd. You’re welcome.

** Sarcasm.

SFL, regarding storing a cello outside: just say no. That would be death to a wooden instrument, and you’d have to buy the rental. If you can rent a carbon fiber cello, it would be acceptable, but the strings and bow might die a quick death.

The thing about killing someone with an arrow is that you have to be really deliberate about it. You have to nock the arrow, pull it back, and aim it. There’s no, “It just went off in my hand!” with a bow. Mix archery with some common sense (“Hey kid, quit standing next to my target, are you daft?”) and it’s a pretty safe pastime. A Bic pen is a terrifying weapon in the right hands, but I’m not going to stop writing with one because of that.

Nabisco: cello is always on the table for young students. Strings and reeds seem to have similar learning curves in my experience, and band wasn’t worth listening to (without a parent’s love as filter) until high school, just like orchestra. The nice thing about the cello is that the playing position is very natural. Contrast with a violin or viola, where the left wrist is bent at an improbable angle, and the shoulders are all twisted around. Reed instruments like an oboe, sax, clarinet, etc. are also very natural. I’d argue that the strings are less prone to terrifying noises when played poorly than reeds, but they’re both pretty capable of awful sounds in inexperienced hands.

One of the finer moments in my life recently was when a friend, who I consider to be a much more accomplished musician than me, picked up my cello and immediately made awful dying-goose noises with it. It’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that your acquired skills are worth something. (He plays fretted instruments, so the bow and the lack of frets were killers for him.)

@IanJ: A ruined cello could be used as a small dog house, or kitty play structure.

@redmanlaw: Favorite line in “School of Rock”? When JB shows the cellist how to hold it like a bass and says “chel-LOW“.

@redmanlaw: That’s an expensive way to get a kitty condo, though. Even a rental cello’s worth a grand or two.

@IanJ: Okay, I’m utterly confused. Are you saying a cello makes a decent bow? Can you still shoot arrows from a ruined cello?

Also: If I knew at 11 what I know now — tenor sax instead of trumpet.

@nojo: No, we’re mixing topics a bit. SFL was interested in playing cello or archery. It’s extra-special confusing because both pursuits involve a bow.

@IanJ: Take a bow for all your work on this topic.

@nojo: I thought the trumpet players got the girls. Bass players do not.

@IanJ: @redmanlaw: And for the trifecta… I hear that both activities are quite popular in Bowie, Md.

@redmanlaw: Ha-ha! Triple entendre! (And that doesn’t include the bow of a boat…)