You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide

NPR just played a clip of Al Sharpton yelling about how the media was focusing on the fact that MJ was a freak instead of on his genius. I am going to curl up under my desk in the fetal position. Wake me when it’s over.

@blogenfreude: Check. Wake bloggie up in 3 years.

oh that picture nojo, i’m reeling.
you could’ve gone with anna nicole or diana!
bloggie, move over.

WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER? DOES ANYBODY GIVE A SHIT? THE KING OF POP SUCKS ALL THE OXYCLEAN OUT OF THE ROOM, AND NOBODY NOTICES THAT I’M ALREADY IN THE GROUND! /Billy Mays

Did you guys see how the Internets/4chan/MySpace crowd is freaking out over MJ’s ghost in that CNN clip? When it’s obviously a techie walking in front of the light that’s lighting that room?

@RomeGirl: And the Michael Jackson image in that tree? This is only going to get weirder.

Check this out: almost a Darwin Award (audio NSFW).

@blogenfreude: There’s a bike race on Versus.

@blogenfreude: I read that Madonna had an “MJ impersonator” in stage with her; you can run but you cannot hide!

I’ll be listening to some lame-ass guest host do “The Jim Rome Show”. To avoid coverage tonight, I’ll be at the gym and doing touch up painting in the kitchen and entrance way.

Anything new on McNair? Here’s a look at the crime scene from a forensic standpoint. http://senseofevents.blogspot.com/2009/07/mcnair-kazemi-deaths-not-yet-ruled.html

I did some some non-aimed pointing and shooting this weekend. Amazing how many times you miss at 7 yards.

Well played, blogenfreude, on the Billy Mays’s ghost thing.

But don’t cry. Billy Mays will go out in style. He’ll get a 21 Awesome Auger Salute — which, appropriately enough, will be helpful in digging the grave. And since we called RIGHT NOW, we’ll get another 21 Awesome Augers. It will be a 42 Awesome Auger Salute!

@redmanlaw: I plan to fill my head with TPM and Top Gear videos – also downloaded a bunch of automotive podcasts last night.

@chicago bureau: I saw a photo of his funeral – the pallbearers were all wearing khakis and blue Oxyclean shirts.

@redmanlaw: I’m between renting a single gear beach cruiser and getting a sweat going or working the boogie board with the kids. Water’s cold, but martinis and wine at chez Prom don’t clear out by themselves!

The daughter took a shine to Prom Jr’s drum kit last night. I’ve found my Moe Tucker!

@redmanlaw: Am I the only one who thinks there will be riots of some sort before this MJ thing is over?

@Nabisco say Relax: I gave a friend’s kid a pair of brushes and sticks after he experienced the joy of discovery sitting at my drums and hearing the palette of sounds from the drums as well as the cymbals.

Playing a djembe with brushes. Like a dumbek, it’s a drumset in your hand.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=28798308

@blogenfreude: I thought that, too. I’m often wrong on stuff like that, though.

@redmanlaw: I’m often wrong. Full stop.

Did you know that elephants are involved? This is going to be an epic clusterfuck.

oh hai sux0rz — al franken iz sworn in nao. Kthxbai.

Checking in from the Los Angeles Dept. of I Don’t Give A Fuck. Even the local NPR station is covering this thing live. Thank jebus for Pandora.com.

@Dodgerblue: NPR? WTF?!

Twitter is over capacity.
Too many tweets! Please wait a moment and try again.

The End Times have begun.

Via Defamer founder Mark Lisanti’s Twitter feed:

Hawaii was nuked 45 minutes ago and no one will hear about it until 5pm.

Fact: MJ’s memorial service is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

@blogenfreude: yeah, 4 reporters in the field from local station KPCC. It’s beyond weird.

@blogenfreude:

Obviously a Paultard, don’t you think?

“Trending Topics” on Twitter…

MJ’s
MJ Memorial
Mariah Carey
Staples Center
#michaeljackson
Micheal Jackson
#nothingpersonal
Smokey Robinson
MJs
Michael’s

@Nabisco say Relax:

Yes, that little ramble around Francostan. I understand that a middle-aged gentleman from the Texas is attempting to win for the 47th time.
I also see that we have a US American fellow who was able to stay within four bike lengths of Cavendish, which means he pedals as fast as many of us drive.

I am a day behind in watching, but I hear they are going ahead with the race anyway.

This service is riveting like a train wreck. A big, masturbatory train wreck.

@RomeGirl: You and Lisanti have stronger constitutions than me. I’ve reached that eight-months-younger-than-Michael age where I have to start watching my cholesterol.

@nojo: I can’t speak for Lisanti, but remember, I’ve been sheltered from all the coverage – this is the first and only thing I’ve watched. I have missed all the catty coverage of stuff like the Oscars, so this is viciously fun for me in the most perverse way.

I’m very sorry he died. I am sorry whenever I hear of anyone’s death. But this is absolutely the most offensive thing I think I’ve ever seen on TV – and I saw Bud Dwyer shoot himself live when I was a kid.

There’s something wrong. Something I’m not connecting with here. it’s just not making any sense to me. It seems fake. I keep looking around me, virtually, online, and it’s like, me and Lisanti who’re making these comments. No one else. I actually lost followers in the last hour on Twitter! (I’ve since deleted them, as I do when I write for a while on things not travel-writing-related.)

I just find this to be almost a parody of itself. And the money involved in putting it on is obscene, with CA issuing IOUs to people who actually need money.

I… I just don’t know. It makes me physically nauseous. I just don’t understand why people are not horrified.

@RomeGirl: Apparently the children are being showcased. I’m glad I’m not watching.

@blogenfreude: Yeah, I wrote what I did above about being nauseous watching them on stage.

@RomeGirl: Well, the nice thing about Twitter is that all our old pals are there. Such as ur-Mommy Ana Marie Cox:

I’m not saying it’s a bad memorial service, I’m just saying it could have, and should have, been a bit bigger.

That was actually a reposted tweet, or “retweet” in the awful lingo. But between her and Lisanti, it’s like Golden Age Gawker Media out there.

@nojo: I think his poor daughter crying up there proves that this was about a real person whose lost was felt by the people around him, and it should have been PRIVATE. That poor little girl should not have had to speak to her dead father through a microphone in front of 35,000 people.

You mean to tell me that this is STILL GOING ON?

Christ. I’m not a witness to this (ah, work), so I cannot compare this to the Reagan funeral week readily. This seems to be approaching critical mass, however.

@Dodgerblue: KQED, our NPR affiliate, was running live coverage of the funeral. Un-fucking-believable. I’m surprised anyone is at work in El Ay today, the traffic around the Staples Center must be a total clusterfuck.

@RomeGirl: Since I’m not watching…

Has he actually been buried yet? Is there a “private” (except for a dozen helicopters) graveside service?

But yes, this memorial is all about celebrating everyone’s self-interest. No reason to put the kids through it.

@RomeGirl: Had not read that when I commented.
@chicago bureau: Something horrifying came to me that other day- Nancy Reagan is still alive. When she goes, it’s going to be that St. Ronnie crap all over again writ slightly smaller. Gag.

I have a dollar for anyone here who manages to take a shit on MJ’s fresh grave in front of the TV cameras.

@RomeGirl:

http://online.wsj.com/article/BT-CO-20090707-712315.html

@SanFranLefty: Supposedly, LA’s finest were keeping a perimeter around the Staples area and only letting through people who had tickets. Parking for Staples is do-able for, say, a Lakers game, but where the other million or so nutjobs are going to park is beyond me.

I have a friend who was at UCLA on business when MJ was taken to the hospital; she got caught in the crush of news trucks etc. She lives near the cemetary where the service was this AM and so got to hear the 20 or so helicopters overhead this morning. She is not amused.

@SanFranLefty: Update from the L.A. Fishwrap:

As the crowd outside Staples Center was losing some of its energy, and spontaneous outbursts of Michael Jackson’s songs grew less frequent, street vendors were becoming more aggressive. Nearly every five yards, someone was yelling, “Soda! Soda!” “Hot dogs! Hot dogs!” “Michael Jackson shirts!” “Get your button here!” with a decidedly aggressive, and increasingly desperate inflection.

The crowd of millions that sellers were geared up for never materialized, but the vendors were trying to make the best of it. Prices were sinking along with the hopes of the vendors. Some people were taking advantage of plummeting prices, snapping up two T-shirts instead of one.

One ice cream vendor pushed his cart along with one hand, the other grasping a wilting bunch of roses.

Richard Lawson from Defamer has the summary of most fucked up moments from the memorial service.

@SanFranLefty: Thanks for that. I totally did not watch the funeral because I was honestly doing other things that I found far more interesting. Like going to see Monet paintings at the museum (I’m cleared by the doc to go back to the routine work/etc. tomorrow).

@SanFranLefty: Oh my. That poor little girl. How heartbreaking.

I must say, though. Watching the protective way Janet stroked the girl’s hair, hugged her and took her offstage when she started to cry made me love Aunt Janet more.

@Jamie Sommers: Janet seemed to me like the only one who wasn’t like, holy shit I’m on stage. OBVIOUSLY this was mixed in with absolutely unthinkable horror and grief on their part, but I couldn’t help but see little glimpses of it.

I just can’t get the daughter out of my mind. She should not have been made to share her grief like that.

@FlyingChainSaw: Sigh. They REALLY need a coup over there.

I also can’t seem to shake the feeling of being DIRTY. I just felt dirty after watching it.