In an Alternate Universe …

fnc_20090624_sanford

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60 comments:

3:15 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

More wishful thinking from Fox.

3:18 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Fits in with “Republicans are saints, Dems are Criminals, etc” meme.

3:22 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

It’s an honest mistake.

3:23 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Well, of course the Faux producers were confused. He admitted to having an affair with a woman.

3:30 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

It’s their secret signal to Sanford that his political career is over.

3:32 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

I beg any producer of The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Keiff Oh’s Countdown, or Rachel Maddow’s show to please compile all of the FOX News “mistakes” into one piece.

I remember Mark Foley and Larry Craig both magically became Democrats in Fox’s world.

3:40 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: From your comment on last post – I should subtract points because he took questions. Real Republicans pull a Vitter.

4:02 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Programming question: Barry’s doing a primetime “town hall” on health care tonight, which sounds positively boring. Should we be compelled to post an open thread for it?

4:05 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@nojo: Darling, you’ve done enough. Above and beyond. Might I suggest a little down time with ALW? Perhaps Michael Crawford singing the songs of?

4:14 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Benedick:

Try not to get worried
Try not to turn on to
Problems that upset you, oh
Don’t you know
Everything’s alright, yes
Everything’s fine

4:16 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@nojo:

Post away, you know me. I’ll come on and make some totally off-thread comments before going to the gym. I’m cheap AND easy.

Oh, and speaking of cheap and easy, where is HF? I’m about to send out a search party.

4:34 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: Dude is all about summer festivals, farmers markets and apparently well-deserved margaritas per FB postings. Absentee blogfather.

4:40 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Signal to Noise: Let’s hope the woman is the leader of a neonazi death and pederast cult.

4:41 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Damn these people are amusing:

NEW YORK – A new report by the website, “Ex-Gay Watch”, has cast a dark cloud of skepticism over “ex-gay” activist Matthew Manning’s tale of being “delivered” from homosexuality and AIDS. According to the report, Manning has been repeatedly dragged into court for allegations of inappropriate behavior and was even banned from a popular gym after improper sexual advances were made on a 22-year-old heterosexual male. Manning, a frequent television guest and the founder of Lighthouse World Evangelism Inc., based in Santa Rosa, California, has yet to comment on the allegations made in the investigative report.

4:50 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@blogenfreude:

At this point, the Rapture could blow through and the Talibangelicals would be too busy secretly sucking and fucking like porn superstars to notice.

4:56 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@redmanlaw:

I’m trying to summon him “Candyman” style:

Homofascist!
Homofascist!
Homofascist!

5:09 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: Just point the homofascist-signal up into the night sky over Chicago.

5:16 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@nojo: Whew — the “town hall” is ABC only, 10 p.m. Eastern. Unless CB wants to wonk out on it, I’ll pass.

5:22 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Anyone know what are the state FOIA laws are in South Crackolina? How long will it take before the “intrepid” reporter at The State has all the emails Sanford sent to Eduardo the MTF tranny gaucho using his government email address?

My prediction, and y’all saw it here first, is that the use of his state email address for the love messages will be the official reason for his resignation. Though it doesn’t seem like Jenny is in a big rush to spend time with him.

5:36 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: Sorry darlin’. You know I love and miss you all terribly, but things have not been great in HF land for the past few months. I will be back I promise.

5:40 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: How do you know his paramour is a transvestite?

5:42 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Statistics and probability. He’s a Republican, after all. And B.A. is crawling with trannies.

5:44 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Mark Freaking Sanford. At 1900 EDT tonight, I propose that all Stinquers come together for an online session of golf-clapping. In terms of sex scandals, this is just exquisite. He is deserving of the highest praise. Ish.

(Incidentially: do we have recon on how many times Sanford nixed gay-friendly legislation, either as Governor or in the House? Public speeches on the subject? Should make for pleasant reading.)

(Oh, and how about the wifey not putting up with his shit? Outstanding.)

nojo: I normally would be all over some hot health care action. But, given last night’s binge on nuclear holocaust (I was compelled to watch that BBC movie “Threads” — a movie hasn’t freaked me out like that in a loooong time), it is entirely fitting that I watch “Dr. Strangelove” (2130 CBST) on TCM tonight.

5:46 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: How long before the press finds her/him? You know they will.

5:46 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

BREAKING HARD: Emails between Sanford and “Maria” revealed by the local fish-wrap.

5:47 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: Damn, girl, you are fast!!

5:47 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: There’s your answer. And note the emails were leaked to the paper in December. They sat on this story for six months.

5:47 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Don’t see Threads on Netflix, alas. But the five-disc set of The State is now queued up.

5:48 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: You know, Lefty, that sounds like you are profiling this poor man.

5:48 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: Plus you’re kicking my ass in Wordscraper again.

5:49 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue and@FlyingChainSaw: Anything to avoid doc review.

5:49 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: McClatchy special correspondent Angeles Mase visited the 14-story apartment building in Buenos Aires Wednesday where the woman lives

When the McClatchy chain folds, it really will be a loss to the Republic. All the other papers can suck it.

5:50 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: I feel your pain. I’m reading depositions about coal-fired powerplant design. Or, not reading them.

5:52 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Wow, that sounds even more boring than what I’m ignoring. Ergo our liveblogging of the presser.

5:53 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: While they had the emails, it may not have been a proper “story” until Sanford abdicated his responsibility as governor. But now we know why the Fargo correspondent knew to hang out at the international gate.

5:56 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Shouldn’t this bozo get extra diapers for leaving his kids over Father’s Day weekend to snort coke off his girlfriend’s ass?

5:56 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@nojo: How did she get past security at Hartsfield? I thought the TSA goons don’t let you through unless you have a ticket.

6:00 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: What do you want? The gold standard of GOP fidelity is a guy who demanded a divorce from his wife while she was dying of cancer and swimming in her own blood and rancid puss.

6:03 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: I agree, Newtie set a very high bar.

6:05 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Well, he could have murdered his wife and ordered his kids to eat her at gunpoint. I am sure a GOP operative will at some point, given the cult’s trajectory.

6:11 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

SanFranLefty: (1) One ticket to Boston please. (2) That’ll be $89, darlin’. (1) Thank you, hon.

Cheating husbands aren’t the only ones who lie, you know.

SanFranLefty: The State had the story for six months? Maybe the theory is that if it isn’t a state government issue, it shouldn’t be public. Which is fairish — you could expose hypocritical stances on The Sancity Of The Family, but not running the story is somewhat justifiable. That is, until the Hunka Hunka Burning Gov left town without telling anybody. Kinda sorta a continuancy-of-government moment. And so I’m holding them harmless at this point.

6:16 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Given my local fishwrap is spiraling downward in the toilet and now features things like blogs by the ne’er-do-well trustafarian Getty children, I guess I’m amazed by newspaper reporters with initiative, moxie, and a budget to buy a fake ticket to Boston.

I actually agree about holding them harmless about waiting on the story until there was a malfeasance of government monies/time angle to it. Though I think every cheating Republican should be outed if he/she has ever yammered on about the sanctity of marriage. Like this douchebag had.

6:19 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Hmmm… Maybe we should open-thread Colbert tonight instead. I have the East Coast feed, and I suspect the Native Son will be enjoying himself…

Then again, that’s what our nifty new evening roundup is for!

6:22 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Thanks to RML we have … the emails!

6:24 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: Check out 5:46 upstream.

6:27 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

I’m not trolling for webhits, mind you, but there is a tribute thread going up in a half-hour. I invite all of you to praise Gov. Sanford’s audacity there, if you’d like.

I mean, Vitter and Craig were good. This was sublime. (The e-mails, incidentally, prove it.)

BY REQUEST: TRIBUTE THREAD LINQUED HERE.

6:31 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@homofascist:

I’m just teasin’ yas. You know we are all here if you need us…even tho we are mostly just ghosts in the machine…

6:32 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: heh – you said fishwrap.@chicago bureau: leave a link.

6:45 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty:

They sat on this story for six months.

Well it is the South. A dirty, filthy, nasty, unChristian secks scandal–and with an illegal Mexitenian no less!–might interrupt their mint julep on the porch time and give everyone the vapors.

6:50 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@chicago bureau:

Linky no worky?

7:02 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

Ugh. The grammar in those e-mails makes my ass itch: double negatives; over-useage and under-usage of commas; all capped off by a pastiche of love letter clichés.

How is it someone couldn’t pass freshman English, but they get to be governor??

My freshman English TA would’ve had this guy’s balls for lunch.

7:02 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

I’ll save my diaper rating until TMZ posts the secks videos.

7:06 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Original Andrew: Maria has a firmer command of the English language than Sanford.

7:14 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty:
Maria,
I just met a girl named Maria.

Where is Manchu?

7:17 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Original Andrew: What, you’ve never been on a “world wind tour”?

7:20 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@drinkyclown:

That riiiiip you just heard was me tearing my hair out.

Oh, and the quasi-illiterate douchebag managed to visit more countries in one Summer vacation than I’ve travelled to in my entire life, but I’m not bitter, tee hee hee.

7:24 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: I’m not trolling for webhits, mind you

Which is why, when that blogger payola finally comes through, everyone’s going on salary. I’m not going to make Gawker’s mistake paying bonuses for traffic.

7:25 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@drinkyclown: By far the best part.

7:26 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: I’m sure this won’t make the treehugging clean air types very happy:

“I went out and ran the excavator with lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the back ground…”

Cranking the AC in the open cab of an excavator? With a diesel engine running all night long?

7:31 pm • Wednesday • June 24, 2009

@SanFranLefty: Cranking the AC in the open cab of an excavator? With a diesel engine running all night long?

Sounds like a bad Ray Wiley Hubbard song.

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