We Assault, You Decide

17020_logoThis is fucking insane:

In typical Fox News fashion, when we asked a Fox News writer how a Central Park cyclist ended up being dragged on the hood of his SUV for four blocks, he blamed the victim, calling the biker a “vigilante.”

Read the whole thing – I can only hope they charge they guy and put him in Riker’s.

Fox Newser Accused of Dragging Cyclist Through Central Park [Gawker]

I’m gonna go ahead and say it: in a contest of asshole vs. asshole, nobody wins.

@IanJ: Don’t get me wrong – NYC cyclists can be assholes, but in the park? The rules change in the park.

What do you want? Broderick didn’t kill him or sever his limbs and force him to eat them at gunpoint.

@blogenfreude: I’m just thinking that the description lends itself to the “asshole vs. asshole” hypothesis. Asshole biker doesn’t use bike lane like a reasonable citizen, asshole Fox SUV driver cuts him off, also unlike a reasonable citizen. Friction will naturally ensue. I’m not committed to this scenario, but it seems somewhat likely, doesn’t it?

Fox dude is clearly the winner of the asshole prize, no matter what. And yet, in years of riding in Seattle, I’ve never ever had an altercation more severe than someone passing a bit too close to me. It’s not because Seattle drivers are better somehow, it’s that I try hard not to be an asshole on the bike.

@IanJ: Maybe you behaved, but trust me: Seattle drivers are better. I take a taxi home every night b/c employer pays for it – usually I just avert my eyes and try not to look at what’s going on around me.

Sandy Eggo bikers aren’t assholes, just fucking stupid.

And I still love how in recent years Eugene has been the victim of Asshole Bikers clogging up major streets at rush hour minute to prove themselves. This would be the same Eugene that has one of the nation’s earliest and most extensive system of bike routes, including multiple ped/bike bridges over the river.

@blogenfreude: I’m quite certain Seattle drivers are better, that just wasn’t the point. I don’t think I would have found myself in our biker’s position in Central Park, either.

I’m sure it’s just because we’re too nice up here.


I cycle daily, and this is my response to that:

The aggressive and flat-out rude behavior of everyone on the road, cyclists included, is a subject too vast and incomprehensible to go into.

I will say that as a cyclist if you threaten me with your car or almost kill me with same I will pull you out of the seat, rip off your fucking head, and piss down the bloody stump. If I can catch you. So for both of our sakes I hope I don’t catch you.

I am one of the sane ones.


In California, at least, it is legal to ride a bicycle wherever it is legal to drive a “vehicle”. The law does state that you have to ride a close to the right of the lane as is safe. Very often, debris or grates that peoiple in cars can’t see in bicycle lanes render riding in them unsafe. Particularly if there is a lot of traffic – you really don’t want to hit a palm branch and skid under a bunch of cars.

Oh and this. (Safe for work but a little gory)

I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about this issue. Most LA cyclists do.

@IanJ: I learned a long time ago you can’t teach people anything on the road. If they stick on your bumper, slowing down to teach them a lesson doesn’t do squat. So you have a point – it wasn’t a good move to try to teach the asshole in the SUV about how to behave on the road. Instead, I’d have tracked him down and torched the car.

TJ/ Tommmcatt (or was it Pedo?) and SFL probably remember this convo. Remember my son’s trans friend who started taking hormones and presenting as female and I was worried about her health because she’s an adolescent? I just saw her PROM PICTURE! She is BEAUTIFUL! I am so proud of this kid for living an authentic life.

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: This is my view as well. It’s a good think I’m not armed on my ride to and from work.

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: My daughter just graduated from Mount Holyoke College. Two F to M trans kids walked the stage and had their male first names called out. No biggie.

@Dodgerblue: Think it depends on where you live, how much support you have, etc.


How cool is that? JNOV is right about the location though- that wouldn’t happen in Utah.

@blogenfreude: See, now, torching the car. That’s a pretty good lesson, but only really drives the point home if you can call the dude and tell him, “Hey asshole, look out your window. See your car? Yeah, it’s on fire because you need to learn to be more polite on the road. Have a nice life.” Otherwise, he just could have been driving a Ferrari.

We will find peace when we are not christians and muslims, conservatives and liberals, US Amurricans and effete cultural elites (code for heteros and homos), and now, I learn, cyclists and motorists, no we will only find peace when we all are just people.

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: In California, at least, it is legal to ride a bicycle wherever it is legal to drive a “vehicle”.

But running red lights and crossing two fucking lanes in front of me to make a sudden left turn is perfectly okay.

Look, I’m an expat Eugenean. I had rain gear to ride my bike to work. I lived by the river, with bike paths for miles on both banks. But Sandy Eggo bicyclists are fucking idiots. As are Sandy Eggo drivers. I wouldn’t trust my life to riding on a major thoroughfare around here, I don’t care what my rights are. It’s enough of an adventure behind a wheel.

Now I must jack the thread with a very serious question I am asking of the computer literate: Does Itunes spy on you, and report piracy? I read an article from a year ago, it said NBC is pressuring Itunes to install spyware, to monitor not illegal downloads, but people sharing ripped cds.

I mentioned yesterday, a customer came in and gave me a CD with all of the Rolling Stone top 500 songs of all time on it.

And my Itunes program has thwarted every effort on my part to import them and play them. And whats got me paranoid, is that every time I try to import or play one of the tunes, the Itunes program opens up, and displays a message that it is communicating with the Itunes store.

I quit illegal downloads about the time they killed Napster. I have not been stealing music, I am happy to pay $1.00 a tune.

But this weekend, dude comes in and gives me a CD, and this happens. And I asked the dude, since he was so interested in music, is he in the biz, and he said no, he is in electronic security. And then he illegally hands me 500 songs and an unreleased movie dvd.

Its making me paranoid. Is he testing the new system?

@IanJ: Now that you mention it, it’s happened again: Ferrari F430 in Romania.

@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: Right. And I told her story on the exmo board to show them what true courage is. Many of them pretend to be Mormon b/c of societal/familial pressures. I’m like, if she can do it, you can do it. Only had one nutter say something stupid. Dispatched him with aplomb.

@Promnight: I’m pretty sure Apple wants to keep their stuff spyware-free, they cannot afford to lose hacker/geek cred. The music probably has DRM that allows you to burn music to a disc but not rip it afterwards.

@Promnight: The CD he gave you is probably all mp3/data files, not a regular audio cd, right? iTunes used to have DRM before they went to iTunes Plus, which is DRM free. The older files had DRM that only let you play it on the computer/iPod of the original purchaser. It’s probably trying to figure out if you’re authorized, don’t know if it’s also finking you out.
@drinkyclown: Once you burn it to an audio CD, it will let you rip it anywhere, which is how I used to get stuff that I had purchased into my kids’ Macs. Data CD’s are another story.

@Promnight: @WaltTrombone: I drop mp3 files into my iTunes all the time, and they come from a variety of sources. My guess is that the files are compressed with a loss-less format. Check the suffix on the data files, Prom.

@IanJ: Speaking of assholes, didn’t Robert Novak do something like this in DC?

@Nabisco: I have gotten MP3 files onto my iTunes before; in fact, one of the tricks I used had to do with burning them to “cleanse” them and make them acceptable to iTunes, iTunes would not take or play my old napster songs unless I put them on a cd and then loaded them to iTunes from the cd.

This disc says they are mpeg3 files, IIRC, don’t have that computer with me.

@Prommie: I think mpeg3 is an audio format associated with video, but you can play it on something that takes all formats. Look for a freeware audio format conversion tool, there’s tons of them out there.

I’m gonna make you a “mix CD” for the new joint, yep that’s what I’m gonna do.

@rptrcub: That’s right! I knew this story sounded familiar.

@Jamie Sommers: @rptrcub:

If memory serves, our own MellBell had a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon connection to the Novak incident.

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