Douchebag of the Day

mpic2008Michael Patrick Leahy:

Stephanie of Teablogging is being sued by teabagging Less Creepy Bill Whittle for going through public records and discovering that the erstwhile teabagger doesn’t like to pay his taxes until legal actions are taken against him.

Stephanie’s wonderful blog is here. You can read the first page of Leahy’s complaint here I have no idea why you can’t see the rest of it. Here’s the whole complaint.

A couple of things suggest themselves.  First, truth is an absolute defense to a defamation suit.  Second, since Leahy has proclaimed himself head teabagger, he’s a public figure.  In that case, he’ll have to prove actual malice.  Third, if she doesn’t live in Tennessee, and if he’s suing her for more than $75,000, she can remove it to federal court, which would short-circuit Leahy’s states-rights-addled head. Let the good times roll.

Our Douchebag of the Day in action:


Privacy is only good when it suits them.

“Yes it’s true. This man has no dick.”

Still, what an annoyance. Free speech only applies to the Reich wing, apparently.

SFL and other lawyers – she’s in CA so there’s diversity. On four causes of action he’s suing for “general damages, for proof at the time of trial, but in an amount in excess of the jurisdictional limits of this Court” whatever the fuck that means. What’s the rule on removal when there’s no damage amount stated?

Not sure if this is still good law:

To discharge its burden, Allstate needed to “provide evidence establishing that it is `more likely than not’ that the amount in controversy exceeds that amount.” Sanchez, 102 F.3d at 404; see also Gaus v. Miles, Inc., 980 F.2d 564, 567 (9th Cir.1992) (per curiam) (holding that a conclusory allegation “neither overcomes the `strong presumption’ against removal jurisdiction, nor satisfies [the defendant]’s burden of setting forth, in the removal petition itself, the underlying facts supporting its assertion that the amount in controversy exceeds” the applicable dollar value).

372 f.3d 1115 (Valdez v. Allstate) (this is 9th Cir. anyway – what’s TN, 5th Cir.?)

7. Liberal Democratic political activists across the country fear the political power that has been evidenced by the success
of the Tea Party Movement.

Hah hah hah hah hah! What a maroon!

@Dave H:
Derision and mockery, 21% support for Repubs = fear?

@Dave H: Also amusing:

Grasmick determined to take personal action to limit the success of the Tea
Party Movement by applying the well known techniques of Saul Alinsky, outlined in his 1972 book “Rules for Radicals”. The thirteenth tactical rule identified in page 130 of this book is “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it,
polarize it.”

He’s behind everything.

@blogenfreude: Damn it, they’re reading our plans!

Last year people exactly like this were in charge of everything in this country. They’re a whole lot funnier now.

@Dave H: If you watch the video I just put up, you’ll learn that calling on someone other than a teabagger = dodging the question.

They can read, but does not understand the words.

@blogenfreude: Probably easier and more efficient to just hire a Tennessee attorney and file a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim than to dignify the pleadings as if they were valid and remove to the Central District of California.

@SanFranLefty: She might not get CA since filed in TN. Another thing that occurs – I wonder if he even knows how to properly serve her.

We should all sing more. And plant trees.

@blogenfreude: But if she wrote the offensive statements in CA, couldn’t it move here?

@SanFranLefty: She could try it, but I think it has to go the appropriate district court in the state where it was filed. Funny if he had to litigate in CA. I’m sure they’d love him.

@SanFranLefty: Another question: what gets you jurisdiction over him in CA?

@blogenfreude: If he’s in Nashville, there are a couple of fairly good judges in M.D.Tenn. so removal isn’t that big of a deal.
How should I know what made me think that gets CA fed courts jurisdiction…I’ve only done one successful remand in my life after Ds unsuccessfully removed to fed court, not to mention I opted to take Civ Pro pass/fail in law school because I am not one for memorizing rules. That’s what the rule books are for. Why memorize that shit? So I am talking out my ass. But I’d love to see that case heard in CDCal.

@Benedick: The best advice I’ve ever seen on a blog.

Every so often it’s important to remember that in a few thousand years nobody will remember Obama or Teabaggers or Bush or Cheney and maybe not even the Stinque Zombie Bible (though that’s hard to imagine).

My wife says Chris won. I already don’t remember Chris.

@SanFranLefty: I’ve briefed a couple removals, pretty easy. And I used to have nearly the whole CPLR (NY Civ. P.) in my head. Gone now. Probably for the best.

@Benedick: I’ve been busy; here is the update: Update: failed health inspection, they want us to take the toilet out of the utility sink room, and they made me completely rebuild the piping from our main washing sinks, I can’t even explain the absurdity, I will show you when you are there. Jamie took out the toilet, and I rebuilt the pipe system late this afternoon and evening, and the inspector comes back tomorrow; if we pass, we are still on line for Friday noon. OY.

Tomorrow is such a HUGE day, all the food prep for the weekend, and half the food buying. Coke is going to come with the refrigerated case they are giving us tomorrow or Friday, we may open with soft drinks in a cooler, Snapple, our other beverage supplier, is also supposed to bring their case and stock tomorrow, Frito Lay is bringing their stuff too.

We have hired 3 college kids and 2 mexicans, they will all be there, we will train them in our systems as we make them up as we prep. Whoo. The good thing is that the systems are determined largely by the physical layout of the equipment, refrigeration, and counters, so really, we designed our system as we put the kitchen together. The street sign is also supposed to go up tomorrow, so it will be a whirlwind.

And I am going to totally play it by ear and improvise the recipes for the prepared foods as I make them, I will need a steno person to take down ingredients and procedures as I work.

Here is one item, “personal lasagnas,” made in individual portions in an extra-large muffin pan, I created that recipe tonight after the plumbing work.

@Promnight: Does the health inspector’s cousin “Tony” need a contract to haul away your garbage so that you can magically pass inspection?

I have a friend who is a health inspector and tells me that sinks are usually the main point of contention in a restaurant. What’s acceptable depends on the local municipality.

ETA: Of course this would have been more helpful 24 hours ago.

@ManchuCandidate: Here is the deal; I plumbed the sink drains the way you would a house sink drain, a pipe goes down from the drain, through a trap, through the floor. Just multiply it by 3, a triple sink. Thats the way the old sink was plumbed, somehow, it was approved, I just copied the old sink’s plumbing when I installed the new sink. Oops.

Because, for restaurants, the code says the sink drain cannot be connected to the drain pipe. Is that not amazing? The pipe from the sink drain is supposed to exit the bottom of the sink, and then just end, in mid air. Then, below this pipe, you have to build a little tiny sink in the drain pipe, so the water draining out of the pipe connected to the sink, drains in a little waterfall down into the little second sink, and then down the drain.

I found out at 4pm that I had to do this, three times. I had it done by 7.

There is actually a reason. It has to do with drain back-ups. If you are using a sink as a pot-sink and washing pots and utensils in it, and its full of water, and you have a drain back-up, its possible that the sewage water from the drain will be forced up into the sink, without your knowing, contaminating your pots and pans. This makes that impossible.

Anyone want to have a scotch with me? I will tell you how I just performed oral surgery on my westie, in the middle of this post, to remove a bone stuck in her mouth. I used a Leatherman Multi-Tool, this is that tool’s best story yet.

Wait till you hear about counter tops and thermometers. I learned that setting up a restaurant to pass health inspection isn’t easy.

BTW, a hint for dealing with future ones: keep everything as clean as possible. Health inspectors will only visit once a year for a regular check up if you keep a clean place because you won’t be tagged as a trouble spot. Once your place is tagged, expect an inspection once every 3 months.

At least that is how it was explained to me. Again your mileage may vary, but I’d keep that in mind.

Helps to have a cleaning policy and check list written out as well. I know it sounds kind of stupid and tedious, but this is why health inspectors tend to like the chain restaurants and why the family run restaurants have a relatively harder time because it is standard for them (not to say they are clean, but if they have a policy/checklist in place then it is easy for them to correct.)

I have some GlenFiddich kicking around.

@Promnight: No scotch, but a case of Corona and bottle of Orvieto. How’s the pupster now?

@ManchuCandidate: We passed everything else, he’s coming back for just these two items.

Talk about agita, though.

I am amped, cranked, so up, tonight, its gonna be hard to calm down.

The dog emergency just now was the icing on the cake. I gave the little girl a beef bone, usually a safe one, too big to eat, she just gnaws happily. But somehow a piece about as wide as a pencil, just long enough to fit sideways up against her palate, lodged very firmly between the teeth on either side. She bloodied herself, rubbed her tongue raw, some slight gum injuries where it was lodged against the teeth, and she was panicking and looked like hell. I tried to pull it out by hand, it was lodged tight.

I got the needle nosed pliers on the multi-tool around the bone and crushed it in the middle, broke it, it came right out, instant relief, she is fine, mouth injuries heal quick. She is such a trusting thing, both of my hands and a pair of pliers in her mouth, I had no way to hold her jaw open, she never once but down on me.

@SanFranLefty: She’s hiding, dogs need that, to lick their wounds, as it were, I will look for her in a half hour, it was such trauma to her, I know that, but the wounds were just superficial, I am just so glad she didn’t swallow a bone.

It gives them so much joy, the occasional bone, I know there is risk, but they so love it. I am a softy.

No more Scotch for me, so much adrenaline and anticipation, I could drink a bottle and not feel it, till morning, a small glass of chardonnay and then I must try to sleep.

@Promnight: Pobrecita perrita. If you have any canker sore medicine or numbing stuff left over from when Prom Jr. was a teething baby, rub a little on her little puppy cheeks.

Oh, and take an Ambien right now and get in bed and try to get 8 hrs of sleep so you don’t get sick again.

@Promnight: Neighbors came by for drinx. Put a big dent in the Sapphire and the fancy Oregon beers + the cheap wine. Talked about the blue collar life and where we’re at now. Should head for bed.

@redmanlaw: I am so pining for the blue collar life right now, living it for one week, dreading going back to hurling words around for a living. I want to make food, simple, make tasty food, make people smile, make people feel that they got good worth for their dollar they spent on my art.

Its so simple, I buy a chicken breast, it cost me $1.00, I take it and slice a big pocket up through it from the side, stuff in a slice of mozzarella, a slice of roasted red pepper, and a basil leaf, close up the opening with a toothpick, then lay another basil leaf on top, and wrap it with a thin slice of prosciutto, some spices, olive oil, balsamic, then gently broil it. Now I can sell it. I have added less than a dollar in ingredients, but a lot of loving attention, and I can sell it for $5.00, and its worth it, because I put love and craftsmanship in it, and saved someone else an hour’s work, and they can get a side of rissotto, and a ceasar salad, and have a fine meal for under $10.00. And if I just do this 150 times a day, I make a living, too.

I would love that, if I could do that, if it would work out like that.

I want to have a tapas bar, like a salad bar, an assortment of little dishes, exquisite little tastes, you take a plate like at a salad bar, put together your own little assortment, and then come over, we weigh it and you pay for it, and take it home and have a journey around the world, a little bite of Greece, a little bite of Maryland crabcake, a little bite ot Thai, a little bite of southern barbecued babyback rib, cheese, olives, bruschettas, soups, one of those personal lasagnas, and a great little salad, a happy, carefree, adventurous eating adventure, that you can have for the price of a Dominoes pizza.

Thats what I want to do in life.

@Dave H:

…yet we will remember Adam for a long, long time….


Thor gets rawhide sticks, and the occasional beef knee bone. It is hard to say no to them, isn’t it?

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: …and there go Fox’s ratings until next January.

@redmanlaw: Oh, and a word to the wise, Gordons Gin. $15.99 for 1.75 liters, and dude, its good, its real good, and its not just me, the gin websites and martini websites are all hip to it, its among the best, its really good gin.

Hendricks for special occasions, Tanqueray occasionally for variety, I know that one is a matter of taste, some like it, some don’t, but I would take Gordon’s over Beefeater any day, at half the price.

Martinis to me are the very very best accompaniment to the spiciest foods, too, thai and mexican.

Hey, dude, got any recipes for anything like truly authentically American that I might spring on my public? (Its horseshit, isn’t it, to say “native american? Shouldn’t “American” be enough?)

The Teabaggers were so successful I felt safe not paying my taxes this year! Yay!

I have lots of questions for you legal eagles on here now that I just got off a week-long jury stint, my first. We were hung (of course). And my vote came down to, I was not convinced of either guilt or innocence, evidence was almost entirely circumstantial, I could draw more than one reasonable (to me) explanation for such evidence/facts, so I had to say not guilty. But there are lots of nagging questions, and afterglow Q&A clarifications of evidence with defense and DA made me think I may have changed my position if a few things had been emphasized differently…

I am left with an even more ambivalent attitude toward our justice system. Not that I prefer the Napoleonic flavor.


@Promnight: Snapple? Frito-Lay? I thought you were gonna sell food…?

(Just needling, I’m sure there’s a price for admission and all that, I truly wish you success but I just couldn’t pass those references without comment.)

Also, I fully expected a post by now on Inhofe’s comments about Guantanamo’s prisoners getting a health benefit not guaranteed to the average US American citizen: free colonoscopies! (along with better health and better food than they’ve ever had before…no doubt including pork, “the other white meat” (and I assume he means pork because, well…)).

@Pedonator: Since Coburn got concealed carry in national parks added to the credit card bill, Inhofe really had to step up the stupid to get airtime this week. Last day of sweeps, you know.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s so hard to pick which wingnut is wingnuttier from the OK congressional/senate delegation. But Coburn, as an MD, really is the clear winner. The cognitive dissonance distorting his brain must be a maelstrom of Biblical proportion.

@Mistress Cynica: And the worst part is, my relatively recently acquired Oklahoman stepmom, who is a totally sweet woman, probably voted both of these asshats back into office, even while she attends an “alternative” (yet-still-Baptist) church and happily bequeathed to me the (vanilla, useless) gay porn VHS tapes from her uncle whom she cared for while he was dying of AIDS. I just really don’t know how to deal with it.

@Promnight: Since I don’t expect that you’ll have roasted elk or cornmeal mush on the menu, I can recommend a traditional northern New Mexico dish called calabacitas (squash) that you can make from fresh local ingredients in season.

zucchini or other squash
corn on the cob
yellow onion
green chili
red bell pepper

Warm oil in skillet. Chop garlic and onion, add to oil. Quarter the zucchini then slice so you get the little rounded quarters. Cut the kernels of the corn off lengthwise. Add to skillet. Chop red pepper, add for color. Chop fresh or roasted green chili (less the skin if roasted), add to taste. Salt and pepper, to taste. *Some* people (Mrs RML’s mom) add cheddar cheese to the mix, which fucks it up, in my opinion.

There you go. Prep and cooking time: maybe 15 minutes. This is something I grew up on cooked fresh out of our garden. You could use bacon for the oil and as another ingredient, but the vegetarian style is lighter.

Goes great with pork ribs. Good luck and sell a lot of it.

@Mistress Cynica: Your friendly neighborhood liberal gun nut could care less about whether I can pack heat in the national parks. It’s just red meat for a certain crowd and a stick in the eye to others. Whatever.

@Promnight: I’m guessing you don’t have a liquor license, so I offer this for personal consumption: a sake martini, equal parts vodka and sake, a whiff of vermouth if you insist and a twist of lemon (not an olive). Tried one once at a sashimi restaurant in Kamakura (Tokyo’s winter retreat), and that led to a long, pleasurable evening.

@Promnight: You could also use a coarse grater on the squash, but it comes out mooshy that way.

@redmanlaw: Looks like a great dish. Squash+maize+chilis = nutritionally balanced meal. Well, maybe you need some beans as well.

@Nabisco: Or arroz, although you’d get more protein from the frijoles.

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