A Fistful of Wankers

gone in sixty secondsThe wankery alert system is in the red today – let’s start with Chairman Michael Steele, who thinks that the days of the GOP apologizing for its sins are in the past, that they’ve turned the corner!

First, the Republican Party will be forward-looking – it is time to stop looking backward. Republicans have spent ample time re-examining the past. It has been a healthy and necessary task. But I believe it is now time for Republicans to focus all of our energies on winning the future by emerging as the party of new ideas.

New ideas? Bwa. Fucking. Ha.

Forget his second point – you can click through see how delusional it is for yourself. Fording ahead:

Third, the Republican Party will seize upon momentum for a GOP resurgence that is already under way in states and local communities. I have traveled extensively since being elected RNC chairman, meeting with state party leaders and grassroots activists alike. There is genuine enthusiasm for a Republican balance to the reckless excesses of the president and congressional Democrats. I believe the Republican Party can ride that wave of local enthusiasm to victory in upcoming elections. 

Resurgence?  Everything I’ve seen says the Republicans are floundering more than ever.

But seriously – fuck Michael Steele – he’ll be gone shortly.  Let’s look at our contestants for torture apologist of the day.  Contestant 1:

Sadly, Hasselcrack has reproduced, so we’re stuck with another generation of imbeciles. Contestant 2:


And finally, Contestant 3:


Hasselbeck wins Miss Congeniality, but she didn’t stick her landing.  Hannity is Hannity – one blame-Clinton talking point after the next, and that’s really old.  Scarborough, on the other hand, has apparently attended the Bill O’Reilly School of Physically Threatening a Guest.

I know my choice.  What say you?

The Republican Party Turns a Corner [Politico]

My brother reached out to touch a rattlesnake we killed on the road into our house one day but I reached in with a shovel to poke it before he did. It hissed and struck out at us. More death ensued.

Lesson: Dead snakes can still bite, and movie monsters are not ever dead until the final scene, and even then come back for sequels.

You know how irrelevant the Republican Party of Today is right now? The Governor of New Hampshaah basically said yes to the marrying of the gheys on Friday. (He won’t sign the bill as is, but would sign it if the legislature made the “no, Twenty-Second Baptist Church of North Lanconia Junction Fallsburgh Notch, you do not have to do this if you don’t want to” stuff a bit more explicit. I’m cool with that.) Point is, I’m just hearing about it now.

There hasn’t been any pitchfork-waving or shirt-tearing anger or anything like that. Five years ago, this would have been a worldwide bulletin. And now it’s old news.

@chicago bureau: Don’t forget – there’s going to be massive teabagging on July 4th. I look forward to more photos.

@chicago bureau:
Part of that is everyone is interested in their own fiscal responsibility right now. Also, does anyone not insane and/or stupid really want to listen to the Repubs after they aided and abetted the blowing up of the world?

The thing is, playing the “We’re the party of opposition, the folks who will fix all that was broken by the current nest of thieves” card isn’t a bad strategy, per se. It’s just waaaaay too early, and M. Steele don’t got nothing else to go with.

I think the Rethugs would do a whole lot better trying to co-opt the left and start complaining about “Obama’s War” and his obvious attempts to cover up torture/circumvent national and international law.

DEVELOPING HARD: Credit card bill passes the Senate, 90-5.

Of course, there’s another attempt to filibuster in the cards on reconciliation, and the bill doesn’t do that much more than the Fed would do in a little over a year anyway. But the American Bankers Association just got their pinstripe-wearing asses run over by, of all things, the Senate. I am mildly intrigued by this.

@chicago bureau:
They’re even demanding that anyone under 21 have proof of repayment!

What will university students do for money?

@chicago bureau: Haven’t been following that one, but a 90-5 vote sounds like they drained the Potomac to water it down.

Steele: “Republicans have engaged in some healthy soul-searching since Election Day…”

Soon as they find one, I’m sure they’ll let us know.

@mellbell: a credit card bill with an amendment allowing for expanded ability to carry guns in national parks is widely expected to pass both houses.


So, how do we get universal health care? Guns in operating rooms?

nojo: Ah, but this is a clever ruse. You can bring guns into national parks. But you gotta pay cash to buy ammo. No more putting bullets on the plastic.

Clever, clever Democrats.

@SanFranLefty: Back in the 1880s after the Red Indian acquired repeating arms and began to outgun the US American army, the gummit decided they would try to put the squeeze on us by restricting the flow of ammunition. My crafty forefathers then taught themselves how to reload ammo. They got percussion caps for primers, used brass cartridges, readily available powder and cast or cut their own lead bullets. Pretty rough stuff, but they were serviceable and kept them in the game. See “American Rifle: A Biography” Alexander Rose (2008). Great book, btw.

If I don’t go nuts shooting a lot, I figure I got about a year’s worth of reloading supplies for the .38 and .357 pistols and the rifles in various calibers from .243 to .308 (although if I had to concentrate on two it would by the .30-30 and the .30-06). I’m not set up to reload for the 12 and the 20 ga shotguns, or the 9mm because use of anything other than factory ammo voids the Glock warranty. But who will care when Zombie Apocalypse is upon us? I should go pick up a carton of .22s now that I’m thinking about it.

I was actually thinking today that I’m really looking forward to load development this summer for the hunting rifles. I would love to get a deer or an elk next fall with a cartridge I worked up myself for the Model 99 Savage lever action in .308, my late father in law’s gun.


@mellbell: @nojo: ANd who do we have to thank for that amendment? Tom Coburn of OK, of course–bring teh crazee every day.

@Mistress Cynica: Oklahoma: making Georgia look liberal by comparison.

@rptrcub: State Motto of Texas? Thank God for Arkansas.

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