Let a Thousand Legs Spread
We’re not sure this is what folks have in mind when they think about sex tourism, but China will be entering the market this fall when it opens “Love Land,” a theme park devoted to the horny kid in all of us.
Think animatronic pestorking displays and a waterslide Magic Mound.
Okay, we’re making that up. We think.
But it’s hard not to presume, not when guests are greeted by a “giant revolving model of a woman’s legs and lower torso, clad only in an unflattering crimson thong.” Nor when one of the park’s attractions will be an “oversized replica of a set of genitals.” Might we suggest an Orgasmatron? Or a haunted Notell Hotel? Or a detailed scale model of — yes, we’re going there — Epcock Center?
Fine, fine. But don’t be surprised when Six Flags adopts our brilliant ideas to save itself from bankruptcy.
China to open first sex theme park [Guardian UK]
Update: The park’s been demolished.
The article leaves so many questions unanswered, in fact it reads, in places, like a poorly translated electronics instruction manual (or IKEA hieroglyph pamphlet):
“These things are too exposed. I will feel uncomfortable looking at them when other people are around.”
And what about audience participation? Will they break the fourth wall?
For instance, will there be a booth that allows patrons, for a fee of course, to experience traditional foot binding?
Seems quite odd that teh secks is taboo in China. I mean there’s like 1.5 Billion of them, so we know exactly what they’re doing everytime the door closes.
@Original Andrew: Close your eyes and think of England?
I wonder if Tom Campbell knows that a campaign ad for him is running right next to this story on the screens of the Californians? Since he’s a libertarian, I hope he’s cool with it.
Gives new meaning to Tunnel of Love and the “Slip’n Slide” rides.
A premature demolition. How sad.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…