Shep Goes Rogue Again

Our best guess is that every so often, Roger Ailes forgets to recharge Shep’s electric collar.

Shepard Smith Uncensored: “We Are America, We Do Not F**king Torture!” [HuffPo, via Sully]

Is it wrong to actually like a Faux Anchor?

By the way, I see that the next scheduled spontaneous grass-roots demonstration against… stuff… will be a million crazed red necks with guns. This will not be threatening in any way and will most definitely be peaceful. Just with guns. I should think will be a good time not to be in our nation’s capital.

Nah, we don’t torture, at least not compared to Caligutard’s BFFs, the Saudis…

@Benedick: We could go and sit in the back of your new red pickup truck (just like Rachel Maddow has) with the chrome naked person of the gender of your choice mudflaps, and watch as their crazed dozens stream by while we pick our teeth after enjoying box lunches from Cafe Prom with our own arsenal of weapons funded by pot smoking US American peacenick hippies bound for entrepreneurial types in Mexico at our feet, Bollywood soundtracks blasting from the “quien es muy macho”- grade sound system.

Benedick: Hey — he has to deal with being lumped in with O’Reilly, Hannity and now Beck. There has to be pushback from some people at Fox News. Has to be.

Rumor has it that actual human beings work there, and that some of them actually think. It may have started at low levels, but it bubbles to the surface from time to time. Chris Wallace, for example, has had a few moments of lucidity.

Further evidence required before I can like Shep — but a journey of a thousand miles begins etc. etc. etc.

@chicago bureau: Murdoch reportedly hates most of the Talent on his noise channel (especially O’Reilly) but loves the money. Oh, and is a-skeered of Roger Ailes.

@redmanlaw: I didn’t live near Myrtle Beach, but I am quite familiar with the bays–I have cousins in Hilton Head–and I can’t imagine those burning. In addition to the danger and unpleasantness (cannot imagine the smell!) to humans, it would be disastrous for wildlife and the coastal ecosystem.

@Mistress Cynica: Hope your family is okay. But my #1 one thought is looking forward to their douchesack governor asking for federal assistance. Because, you know.

@homofascist: I do hope FEMA will be just as helpful as they were in NOLA.

Part of me wishes I could hear that video. It’s not really necessary, though. Anyone who is surrounded by morons at work understands the look on Shep’s face.

@Prommie: Good call, Prom. “Road maps, and bra straps…”

@redmanlaw: A friend of mine was an MP in the Army and was trained on truck-mounted .60 cal machine guns. She said they were loads of fun to fire. I saw we get us a couple for the rally.

@Dodgerblue: Here’s a report on just such a truck made up by drug gangs in Mexico. Painting flames on the side and a chain steering wheel would be awesome touches. Yours could have the old school surfer “bare foot” gas pedal and “bro handshake” gearshift knob.

@redmanlaw: The cartels are proving better at history than Newt Gingrich. Soon we’ll be deploying our boys and girls freshly returned from Iraq and Afghanistan to the border because of their experience with “technicals” and roadside explosives. Have our chickens come home to roost?

Incidentally, I am a bit disappointed that you guys didn’t find a way to worm this post around into a Three Stooges reference of some kind…you know, Shep, Shemp, something along those lines…

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket:
The problem is that most of the “personalities” on Faux don’t even rate being Curly let alone Moe. Curly Joe at the best.

ETA, I happen to be a fan of Shemp.

@redmanlaw: Here’s my fav line from the Mexican cartel story: “The gun, which fires rounds nearly 6 inches long, was discovered by federal police on routine patrol when they spotted the truck parked outside a house.” I’ve lived in some crummy neighborhoods, but not one where my neighbors thought they could park a truck with a machine gun in it outside without attracting any police attention.

@Nabisco: I was telling my Mexicano buddy in the US American National Guard that they will probably send him to Mexico next, and that they’ll be putting car bombs in the taco carts, which he thought was hilarious. Dude has served two tours, been shot in the ass, done counter-drug work in the US and is now with a mechanized infantry unit in LA.

@Dodgerblue: Probably had a pit bull chained to the bumper in a dirt yard with a Our Lady of Guadalupe shrine in it, just like around the corner here.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: I hate the Three Stooges. Never appealed to me as a kid.

@redmanlaw: I need someone to explain to me how the Holy Trinity plus worship of Our Lady of Guadalupe is monotheism. Plus how the “no graven images” commandment allows for Christ on the Cross in churches. Not to mention a good deal of Italian Renaissance painting.

@Dodgerblue: Basically, it’s all different forms of the same god.

The Pert Plus of Pastamonsters.

The philosophy® of theocracy.

@Dodgerblue: You should consult with Mrs RML on that because she has spent a lot of time studying it. Send her a message on FB.


As the resident apologist, I will endeavor.

The Trinity represents facets of God, like Jamie points out above. This may seem a dodge to avoid pantheism at first, but if you look at in in context of the Gospels and the Old Testament it becomes clear (at least to me, and other liberal Christians) that as God evolved from his early, angry, “war-god” aspect he first needed to evolve a method of talking with us directly that could express the profoundness of his nature without overwhelming us- hence, the Holy Spirit. As he became further in tune with his creation, his desire to rescue us from the darkness necessary in our natures to create free will caused him to evolve yet another aspect: Jesus Christ. It is easier to picture, perhaps, if you imaging the three aspects of God as fingers on a hand. You cannot call one finger “the hand” in and of itself, yet each finger is an integral part of the hand- the hand could not really be called a hand with the fingers removed.

As for Our Lady of Guadalupe, I will leave that for a Catholic….except to say that there is a difference between “worship” and “veneration”.

ADD: Again, the crucifix is something I have to leave for the Catholics. The cross itself is a symbol of the Resurrection, and is not intended to be a representation of God. In any case, as I have mentioned above, liberal Christians believe that God is currently expanding and evolving, and as human consciousness evolves, so does His. In this way, we have come to understand that we can represent God without blaspheming Him. If you read the new Testament, you will notice something interesting about Jesus: He does not discuss the commandments which deal with God alone (the first through the third), makes light of the fourth commandment (Mark 27-28 Jesus concluded, “The Sabbath was made for the good of man; man was not made for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.”), and instead focuses on the commandments which deal with interpersonal morality. So I think God might have moved past the prohibition on “graven images”, which, after all, was put in place to distinguish the Israelites from the other tribes present during the time of the old testament, much like dietary restrictions or the restriction to certain forms of grooming and dress.

I’ll stop now, hope I didn’t bore anyoone….

@Dodgerblue: @Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: St Patrick used the three leaves of the shamrock to explain the Trinity. The Calvinists in my family (a dour bunch of Scottish Presbyterians) regularly referred to Catholics as “idolators” for all the pretty art in their churches. Their own churches were white walls, hard wood pews, frosted glass windows. Yawwwwn. No incense or fancy outfits either. I hated having to go there.

Ohh, the Trinity, it boggles the mind. Its a compromise solution to early factional fighting, put together by a commitee, at least the Creed which is supposed to answer the question, was composed by a comittee, and that alone shoudl explain it.

I prefer to think that the human understanding of God is evolving, for good and for bad. For the majority of fundamentalist christians, its evolving towards big strong dude in the sky, he is like us, and hates those that aren’t like us. For the liberal protestants, the evolution is towards a greater comprehension of God’s incomprehensibility. Find and make peace with what sparks of god reveal themselves to your understanding.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Our Lady of ______ is just a particular form of St. Mary depending upon the sighting of her. Mary has special status among the saints but basically the saints are not considered to be (or worshipped like) gods. They are humans who’ve done good and are believed to have El Jefe’s ear. Saints are generally assigned a specific area of expertise (St. Thomas More – attorneys; St. Jude – lost causes) that can sometimes overlap (see previous parenthetical). Catholics pray to them to ask the saint to put in a good word with the Notorious G.O.D.

I don’t know about the graven images thing.

@Jamie Sommers: Its not mentioned often, but everyone who attains paradise is a saint. The official saints are just the ones for whom this has supposedly been confirmed.

@Promnight: It’s not an Episcopal funeral without “For all the saints who from their labors rest…”

@nojo: I never got the Three Stooges either. Though I’m intrigued by the rumored movie with Sean, Benicio and Jim.

Also: Couldn’t this just be an episode of Shep’s cognitive dissonance doing an epic fail?

OK, I thought not.

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: as God evolved from his early, angry, “war-god”

God evolves? I thought that was Shaw’s take in “The Adventures of the Black Girl in her Search for God”. Because if you’re omniscient and omnipotent, shouldn’t you just be?

And I’ve always thought the Trinity was a sophistic dodge. To hijack Kierkegaard, some things aren’t supposed to make sense. You either drink them straight up or leave them on the shelf.

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