Slow Boiling with Jim Cramer

Awwwwwww…

I wonder if he’s going to eat those words of his on how the depression is SOOOOOOOOH over and how we’re all going to make kajillions from betting on Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers stock.

Afraid to admit he was pwned.

Jim Cramer couldn’t see a freight train coming. “I was just standing there on these metal rail things! Who could have predicted a train would come along?”

@Mistress Cynica: I am amazed to see him playing this story, he could have responded, hell, Jon was only talking about his industry, his profession, his area of expertise, and all he managed to do was whimper and cry. Now he claims its because he was blindsided?

He should be fucking put in the stocks and pelted with water balloons filled with urine for that shitty-assed excuse. A comedian was able to fucking ambush you with questions about your area of expertise and render you helpless and whimpering? Fuck him, repeatedly and roughly.

As it happened, I saw the earlier clip with Martha Stewart, which effectively wiped away any notion that he could survive against Jon Stewart. How naive can one get? Of course he was skewered. Didn’t his Mama tell him Jon Stewart was not going to help by asking him to share cooking secrets? One of Jon’s many strengths is making two minutes long enough to reach an epiphany on most nights. Only a very shrewd guest (e.g. Gore Vidal) can wrest a share of the psychic space away from a host with his skills. And he was mad that night!

Christ, the original Stewart piece was an indictment of CNBC, not Cramer specifically. He started the “war”. Fucking narcissists, always so goddamn surprised and genuinely shocked when they’re called out on their shit.

@cassandra_said: A-fucking-men, sister.

@Nojo: The new C.S. Lewis twitter made me tinkle my panties, I laughed so hard.

I guess I need to turn my attention to Chapter 4 of Job the Zombie. I’ve spent the evening dealing with debunking urban myths propagated by the right wing (i.e. “Harold Koh is the Anti-Christ,” “The USGS doesn’t want to tell you about the Bakken oil field in Montana”) and haven’t been able to devote my evening to eating brains and begats.

Zombie Job Chapter 4, as written by SFL, now available for your feedback and edits.

@SanFranLefty: Zombie bless the web. Seek “tea quote”, and ye shall find.

And to wrap up the day: 5600 visitors to the ZB, about 45 new editors signed up, and we’re getting some hot Twitter action.

Including this rave:

BodyofBreen: @flargh The book of Job is hysterical. (Something one can’t normally say about the book of Job.)

It’s always more fun with an audience.

@SanFranLefty: You lizzed? Awesome. I like what you’ve done with Job–I haven’t participated yet, but I’d love to take a crack at Judges 19 because I think it’s the most women-hating chapter of the bibble (concubine sent out to be raped all night, then torn into 12 pieces and sent to each tribe when she’s found dead on the doorstop in the morning) and the addition of zombies would at least turn it into a typical misogynistic B-movie from the 60s.