Kitteh!

It's this or Cyclops.

Nabisco suggests a heartwarming kitty photo to calm everyone down, but this is all we can find.

56 Comments

I dunno, that’s heartwarming in a tinfoil hat, aliens-are-coming, end-is-nigh kind of way.

Looks like what would happen if Flukeman mated with a sloth.

I’d have gone with the otters, or maybe another Stormy post, but hey – that’s me.

@blogenfreude: The otters were awesome. And nojo, it’s the thought that counts.

You’re an evil person. Which is why we treasure you.

Is that a premature cyclopsian hamster?

Oh hey, nojo. You mentioned you were having trouble finding kitty photos? I found another one for you.

I didn’t know Rush had a baby. When did that happen?

@Jamie Sommers: Rush went on a sex vacation to a place that will give you anything you want. Rush apparently likes being ridden around like a donkey by space aliens and then fucked in the ass by them. This squirted out of Rush after a 3 month gestation.

@FlyingChainSaw: And yet he keeps growing larger. Puzzling.

@mellbell: Yeah, exactly. I watched the CPAC tape closely. He wasn’t jiggling because of his vigorous movement. His flesh was writhing from within somehow. Could be that Rush’s little tryst is more than he bargained for.

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh, FCS. I knew I could count on you to take my humble little comment and run with it to the deepest, darkest places of womanity. Well done!

Is it me, or does Ed Schultz come off like Glenn Beck for the center-left?

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I was bad and mean, I am sorry. Am I still welcome in the clubhouse?

@Promnight: Yes. And stay tuned for updates on the Stinquers of Santa Monica meetup. I hope RML has a camera.

I told my shrink all about it, I happened to have an appointment this afternoon, it meant that much to me, SFL, Cynica, losing your respect, losing your friendship, I was horrified, after I came to my senses, I am sorry.

I am soon to meet my first RL Stinquers. I am as excited as a little girl….

@Promnight:

Are you fucking kidding me? There is no Stinque without that particular odor which is the inestimable Promnight.

I’m sure Lefty and Cynica bear you no ill will…

@Tommmcatt the Wet Sprocket: Is it an odor? God, do I offend? I have always been such a clod. I am going back to food porn.

I haven’t posted food porn lately, I have this thing going on, it has to do with food. Its a big gamble, a big risk, I am starting a food business, making a big investment, contracts will be signed this week, then I have 6 weeks to make it happen. Signs, advertising, municipal approvals, health department approvals, finding vendors, letting go of the lifeline, its scary as hell. Choosing a name, thats been going on for two months, I need a name. Stress. Bad day. My excuse for the inexcusable, being mean to a friend, friends.

SANTA MONICA CA (Apr 1 – Stinque News Service) In the lobby of the Ambrose, awaiting DB. TCatt is running late. I gotta go get my camera.

What i needed is a piglet, everyone, look at this piglet, I dare you not to say “awwwwww.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JruylU429E

@Promnight: You should run your names by us on facebook. I’m curious to know what the contenders are.

@Promnight: I need to have a very big martini first before I can consider your apology. I’m just getting home after an incredibly long and stressful day and you did not help things.

@Promnight: Oh yes, food porn please! It’s been waaay too long. Does your shrink look like Lorraine Bracco?

@Promnight: You remember that time in high school / at a family get-together / hanging with your friends, when you said something that pissed off every fucking person in the room so bad that you had to sorta disappear for awhile until things cooled off?
This is that time.
See you in a coupla days.
You’ll survive.
By the way, I don’t recall you ever formally asking for eatery naming suggestions. The Chum Bucket is already taken.

@Promnight: Why don’t you do some food porn for a while, tell us about your planned emporium and menus. While you’re at it, maybe up the frequency of appointments with your shrink to discuss with her or him what motivates you to try to alienate people. Seriously. Because that’s not a good way to go through life, my friend.

And you knew full well the background and reasons why your remarks to Cynica and me on this particular topic were so especially cruel, you knew we are sensitive on that topic, yet you used that knowledge to hurt us, and that is why I was so upset by you saying that shit to me and Cynica. And yes, I did go in the bathroom at work and cry.

If you ever do it to me again, I will not be so forgiving, and if you ever do it to Cynica again I will come out to Jersey to kick your ass.

@Ewalda: Yeah, I have done that, too many times. Some people are tall, some are short. Some are charming, some, not so much. I always wished I had it, the gift of knowing, well, what other people, umm, think, what they will think is funny, what they will think is not, fuck, its hard to describe, Ewalda, but I wish I had it. The ability to not be an asshole.

@Promnight: But unlike being tall or being short, you can try to work on not being an asshole. I know it’s hard with your admitted Aspie tendencies, but dude, it’s not an excuse and you’ve got to keep working on it and always say to yourself “What am I going to think about what I am doing in 5 hours?”

@SanFranLefty: I will say it for all to see, SFL, I do know exactly how evil I was, and that is exactly why I do feel so much deep and sincere remorse and mortification that I would deliberately try to hurt you and Cynica. Deliberately, even if the malice was of short duration, and with nothing but the flimsy argument in mitigation that “I was having a bad day.” And right now, I am making fun of the pathetic nature and the hypocritical nature of my non-defense defense, and hell, what can I say. I am sorry.

@Promnight: I know you’re sorry, and at the time I was reading the hateful things you said I knew that you were going to be sorry in a few hours.

Apology accepted. Don’t ever do it again, though. Srsly, I have my people in Jersey that will break your legs.

Now give us some food pron!

And not because I am trying to change the subject, but Nojo, if you wanted to convince me of the pointlessness of life, and the inevitable occurrence of horrible tragedy, you did a good job with that picture of the cyclops kitty. Please tell me it is a photoshop. It looks like a photoshop, there is something unnatural in the body attitude.

Cause if I thought that was real, I would cry. There is no good outcome to that, if its real, it dies, or it lives as a freak. God, fucking, God, thats sad. So please tell me its a photoshop.

Take those boneless “country style” ribs, thats what they call them here, they are the thin end of a pork loin, its hard for me to describe, unless you are really intimate with the geology of the pig. But around here they call them “country style” ribs, they have a bunch of meat on them, and when they sell them boneless, like i say, they are really just the thin end of a boneless pork loin, where the meat turns red.

Braise them. Season them as you wish, salt and pepper and garlic and put them in a roasting pan just big enough to hold them and cover with liquid, I used white wine, and cover very tightly with foil, and put them in a low oven for hours, till very tender, but still holding together. Take them out of the liquid and dry them off.

I will complete this tomorrow, its complicated.

What I will say is that you are going to coat them with brown sugar, then stir-fry them in a big wok over blazing heat in smoking oil to which you have just added lots of garlic and ground hot asian chili peppers. And then when they are gloriously brown and caramelized, and the heat from the chili peppers is making your eyes water and making you sneeze, you add some onion, green pepper, bitter greens, all cut in a large dice, cubes 1/2 inch in size, much smaller than the large pieces of pork. Toss for a short time, just long enough, then add 1/4 cup gin, 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lime juice, 1/4 cup thai fish sauce, (maybe its something between an 8th and a 4th on each of those). Taste and maybe add some more light brown sugar. Toss, add sliced scallions and chopped cilantro, toss, and serve with basmati rice.

@Promnight: Speaking of changing the subject, look! Wigs for babies! Just for girls, it is never to early to enforce gender roles. Bonus points for font trainwreck.

@Promnight: You’re getting off easy, man. One time.
Time was, you’d have gotten your ass kicked and then had to come back begging in a week.
I have my people in Jersey, too, and some of them have friends, if you know what I’m sayin’.

@drinkyclown: OMG, that’s creepier than the cyclops kitteh! And sadly, I know in my heart they’re based in the South.

@Nojo: I wish you had not used that photo. I think I remember that it was a real kitten in Oregon, and it lived less than two days.
Is there any way you can replace that picture? Just do a “kitten” search in FlickR or something to find a replacement. Or is it too late?
I haz the sad tonight from that poor kitteh.

@Ewalda: I have decided to believe it is a Photoshop. Nothing will convince me otherwise. Nothing. Now I have to go snuggle with my own adorable kitteh in the funnel head collar.

@Mistress Cynica: It has to be Photoshop, and kisses to sick kitteh. I have my neighbor’s kitteh curled up next to me and it’s the cutest damn thing ever.

Meanwhile, I’m watching a documentary on Jerusalem on PBS. No pledge breaks yet, and I’m worried about how baked is doing after the hospital.

@nojo: Someone also watched “South Park” tonight, yes?

I LURVE U NOJO!!11!1!!!

thank you for changing the scary kitteh photo at this late hour.

@SanFranLefty: Honestly, I find the new kitteh much more scary.

@nojo:
Agreed. This is more creepy than cyclops kitteh.

@ManchuCandidate: Creepy I don’t mind. Doomed suffering baby animals, on the other hand, make me cry.

Actually, this new pic just reminds of that bug-eyed contestant on the current season of America’s Newt Top Model (yes, I watch, so sue me).

Ha! The typo stands–it’s too good to correct.

@flippin eck: I really think she needs to work on her molting.

@flippin eck: Reminds me of the little girl in The Bad Seed.

@Ewalda: I first heard that in Kip Adotta’s “Wet Dream.”

@SanFranLefty:
jerusalem on pbs? sorry i missed it!
i checked myself out of the hospital “AMD” (against medical advice.)
i mentioned this to you on FB already lefty, but it’s food for thought for all of us. previous to this stay, i had no hospital experience except in usamerica with excellent insurance. it was an easy armchair to sit in and extol the virtues of socialized medicine. what could be more democratic? what could be more fair? i have a new disturbing perspective. i was in hadassah, considered the best hospital in jerusalem. it was a nightmare. i was stacked in the ER for 48 hours listening to the senile elderly wail for mama, nurses putting in IV’s without gloves, and this was the fun part. i have never stayed in a semi private room, let alone a ward! 6 beds to a room. this is the trade off, i saw it first hand, of how medical care is diminished when everyone is equal. i still think it’s right and fair, but it’s hard to get them to stay on the farm after seeing gay paree. spoiled? of course!
what say you stinquers?

@baked: If you’d come there from experiencing US ‘Meriken medicine from the perspective of nonexistent insurance or preexisting condition, this would sound pretty good. It still sounds better than a Wednesday afternoon at San Francisco General Hospital.

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