GOP Icon Ted Haggard Takes Freak Show Marriage to ‘Divorce Court’
Meth-crazed, schlong-gobbling Jesus yahoo and GOP icon Ted Haggard is still selling his pathetic non-story to a wantonly vapid media, killing time until he can arrange for an opportunity that can hopefully get him out of the business of mortifying his wife and family for a living.
The disgraced, former uberfuhrer of the National Association of Evangelicals, once representing tens of millions of mouthbreathing snakehandlers, is dragging his hapless wife onto Divorce Court on April 1 to continue making their lives into a snakehandler circus sideshow for easy profit – and for some twisted need of Haggard’s to be jeered at by tens of millions of people.
Oh, how the wicked have fallen. Once Meth-head Ted made regular conference calls to the White House to shout halleluahs and advocate the internment of homosexuals with all the Jesus crazies Bush exploited to get himself in a position to loot the United States of America. Now, the simpering twit wanders truck stops trying to trade blowjobs for cheezeburger plates and appearing on TV so he and his wife can be reviled by the whole world for nickels and dimes.
Hey, Stinquers, this just isn’t the way it should end for a fomer president of the National Association of Snakehanlder, should it? Are there other more dignified ways for a person of this stature to be gainfully employed? I suggest Tiger Temper Tester for Siegfried and Roy. Haggard can stick his head into the mouth of the animals they are working with before a performance to make sure they are in good enough humor to go on. Jesus will protect him, right?