Rush Sends 81% of GOP Powerchucking Their Cheetos Into Their Own Driveways

Scummy piece of shitBarking-mad psychofascist hatecaster Rush Limbaugh is so repulsive, so vile and so twisted – literally the spawn of Roseanne Barr and the monster from the movie Alien that emerged from Barr’s asshole after the creature raped her ass in a parking lot in Camden, NJ in 1952 – that some 81% of Republicans wretch themselves to gagging dry heaves even thinking about the guy, according to a recent independent poll by Rasmussen Reports.

According to a Rasmussen Reports telephone poll, fully 81% of self-identified Republicans rejected the notion that immense, brain damaged fucktard and alleged pederast Limbaugh is the leader of the Republican Party.

Democrats, however, understand that Limbaugh is the heart and soul of the GOP: a raging psychopathic neonazi and, when reached by telephone described Limbaugh as:

“Something like a snowman but made completely out of dog barph and rancid chicken shit.”

“Less appealing than a camel smega submarine sandwich.”

“Still angry that his mom fucked him the ass regularly with a strap-on when he was little, just like George W. Bush”

“A seeping boil on the asshole of humanity”

Interesting, though. When you count in the 8% undecideds, well, it appears that only around 1 in 10 Republicans really think fuckface is the uberfuhrer of the GOP. Can the GOP be saved if its members would have the courage of their convictions? Should it?

26 comments:

4:13 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

I think we’ve already established that the GOP base and the GOP leadership are united in title only.

ADD: Of course, that doesn’t prevent the GOP leadership from pursuing all the batshit-crazy stuff they want to, no matter what their supporters may think. And somehow, the supporters still stick around.

4:23 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@IanJ:

I think it’s misleading to speak of a Republican split or schism, even. This party is incredibly fractured- the intellectual wing, the pigfucker wing, the disaffected libertarians, christo-fascists, and what passes for their “leadership” are locked in a devastating internecine struggle right now. I don’t think it hyperbolic at all to predict their demise in our lifetime.

And by the way, I’ve got one question for anyone that thinks the “two-party system” will somehow compensate and save what’s left of them: Anyone vote for the Federalist candidate last year?

4:28 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

How many Cheetos can a Powerchuck chuck?

4:39 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@With a name like Tommmcatt…it has to be good: Anyone vote for the Federalist candidate last year?
In several races here in Orygun the Constitution party (neo-libertarian, I think) candidate did better than the Republican.

4:43 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@Mistress Cynica:

My point exactly: a new opposition party is going to rise. If there was such a thing as a “smart wingnut” that person would be looking to build that instead of wrestling over the corpse of the current movement.

4:44 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@With a name like Tommmcatt…it has to be good: Just about time for SBT to show up…

But they’re not going away. They’ve pretty much committed themselves to blowing off the midterms, after which we’ll see another flurry of regrouping, the results of which are presently unpredictable.

That said, I do think we’re in the midst of a Generational Realignment, something that was discernable during the primaries. It doesn’t mean Republicans as a party are doomed to failure, but these Republicans certainly are.

4:44 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009
4:46 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Yup. Keep an eye on the Paultards — they don’t bear the Mark of the Neocon on their foreheads.

4:47 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

“A seeping boil pilonidal cyst on the asshole of humanity”

Fixed that for you.

4:51 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@blogenfreude: And out of the pilonidal cysts of distant evolution, humanity rose.

4:54 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

Psst, there’s only one t in Paterson.

4:59 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

I don’t even know any Republicans, so I don’t know if this is true or not. I know one guy who listens to Rush and we don’t talk that much anymore.

5:04 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

When he went up on the big screen and was broadcast by Fox to like EVERYONE during the CPAC debacle, it was like when Palin was announced to be the VP on my birthday.

It was the best present one could ask for— make a wingnut the center of attention.

Fuck. Yes.

5:04 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

Hey! Divine was a very sweet man!

5:07 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@Benedick:
How about Evil Devine (like Evil Spock with a Goatee from Star Trek)?

@redmanlaw:
I still know a few Cons, but they’re somewhat sane. The insane ones I no longer talk to because I’d have to fight the urge to punch them out.

5:09 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@Benedick: That’s why it’s such a tragedy.

5:11 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: No need. Divine was the victim in this case.

5:14 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: Evil Roseanne might be better. Let’s not put all the blame on the drag queens.

5:16 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@shortsshortsshorts:
Unlike Palin (sometimes), Rush is hard on the eyes. He’s got the fat face, spotty skin and bulgy eyes and the ugly slicked back balding hairdo.

He sort of reminds of me Londo Mollari from Babylon 5. If Londo went on a alien food binge for ten years.

FYI, for those non SF geeks. This is a pic of Londo Mollari.

http://www.freehomepages.com/jweyand1/londo.jpg

5:17 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@Benedick:
Not trying to demonize Devine. Roseanne works.

5:23 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

By the way, what the fuck is my beloved former student newspaper doing all over the news today? How the hell did the Emerald and Gawker show up in the same search? Did someone kill a butterfly?

6:06 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: Hahaha you just HAD to bring Londo into it.

Thank you for that.

6:49 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

The veracity of this stat is dubious at best as they posed the question as “Do you really take your marching orders from this drug-addled misogynistic racist?”, thus skewing the results…

The question people were asked was, literally, “[Do you agree or disagree that] Rush Limbaugh is the leader of the Republican Party. He says jump, and they say how high.”

An appallingly leading question. The only way they could have driven the results a bit more is if they dropped the “He says jump, and they say how high” and used “He says bend over, and they drop trousers and grab their ankles.”

It is crap….

8:34 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

@LuxMentis: The only way they could have driven the results a bit more is if they dropped the “He says jump, and they say how high” and used “He says bend over, and they drop trousers and grab their ankles.”

You mean driven the results higher, right? Everyone knows that white menconservatives can’t jump.

10:08 pm • Wednesday • March 4, 2009

The republicans are so fucked, aren’t they? They used to be the party of rich country club doctors, lawyers, and plutocrats, they cared about nothing but taxes and regulation fo business, and they were sorta benign, a legitimate couterweight to the left, keeping things reasonably middle-oriented.

But then 40 years ago, Nixon devised the “southern strategy,” and they surfed the civil rights backlash-racism thing for a while. They campaigned on hidden racism themes like activist judges, tough on crime, and federalism-state’s rights (to keep those activist judges from insisting on making them consort with negroes). Then under Reagan, they sold out to the religious whackadoodles, and suddenly abortion and family values and morality were their big issues.

And then Reagan and Bush I worked the war angle, fighting little wars wherever they could, Nicaragua, Panama, Lebanon, fucking Grenada, what a joke, they had a constant stream of new Hitlers, Pineappleface in Panama, Qaddafi, and Gulf War I and Saddam, the Hitler of Hitlers.

So there they are, in 1992, and Bush I loses, and they are thinking its because he didn’t kowtow to the fundies enough. And then in 1994, Newt and the fruits of the suddenly powerful southern strategy racist unreconstructed confederates took over congress. And simultaneously, the rise of hate radio created a small insane group of angry male whites.

Bush II, controlled by an angry old Nixon henchman still furious over watergate, played every ugly card they had, fundie social policy, southern confederate racism and “federalism,” completely corrupt fascist-style crony capitalism, old school John Birchism, and amoral, might-makes-right, neocon militarism and warmongering.

What their problem is, is that they don’t have any values at all, any coherent vision, any single uniting belief system. They do not have an honest agenda, they have no real fundamental beliefs that they can speak of openly. Bush II bankrupted them completely and totally on two fronts, maybe three. He was so openly cynical and deceptive on every single policy position he ever took, it was all lies. He was massively corrupt on the simple level of throwing billion dollar spoils around to cronies. He was so completely incompetent that nothing he ever tried to do succeeded. And he dragged us through lies into a war which has killed hundreds of thousands, thoroughly corrupted the federal justice system into a political arm of the fundie wing of the party, and oh, I almost forgot, destroyed western civilization’s financial and economic system.

I mean, they are so fucked, so thoroughly fucked, that their “leaders” now are a drug addict pedophile rabble-rouser, a monstrous, stupid, vile, and corrupt alaskan ex-beauty queen runner-up, and a Joe who is not a joe Plumber who is not a plumber who doesn’t have two working brain cells.

They are just so fucked, really and truly.

2:07 am • Thursday • March 5, 2009

@Promnight:
Tell me that bedtime story again, Prommy. It sounds so lovely. I just need a little bourbon and an Ambien and I will have sweet dreams of Republican implosions and forget all my temporal issues.

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