Piyushme-Pullyu

Alice doesn't live here anymore.

We weren’t aware of Bobby Jindal’s background until his stunning post-non-SOTU debut last week, and it’s a fascinating story, one indeed comparable to Barack Obama’s — except that Republicans aren’t calling Jindal a terrorist.

Jindal was born June 10, 1971, in Baton Rouge. His parents had arrived in the United States from Soviet-supported India six months earlier so his mother could enroll in the graduate program at Louisiana State.

Which should, of course, make his presidential aspirations immediately suspect, if we’re to have any standards in this great nation of ours. If Barry’s Kansas mother isn’t enough to satisfy constitutional qualifications, a couple of Hindus hopping a plane from the Punjab surely wasn’t envisioned by the Founders.

Yes, Hindus. They don’t believe in God, you know. Or they believe in too many gods. Or they don’t care because they’re too busy pestorking their cousins from previous lives. Really, they’re worse than Mormons.

Oh, but Bobby’s a Roman Catholic, haven’t you heard? Or is that some sham to cover up his true beliefs until he takes the oath of office with his hand on the Kama Sutra?

I was raised in a strong Hindu culture, attended weekly pujas, or ceremonial rites, and read the Vedic scriptures. Though my prayers were a child’s constant stream of requests and broken promises, Hinduism provided me with moral guidance and spiritual comfort.

That’s Bobby in 1993, recounting his madrassa years, or whatever his godless/godstuffed religion calls them. He didn’t convert to Catholicism until he was 16, and we all know what Jesuits and commies say about snaring them while they’re young.

For that matter, this professed “Christian” doesn’t have a Christian name. Bobby’s birth certificate, Bobby’s driver’s license, Bobby’s bank account, they’re all registered to a “Piyush” Jindal, whom we suspect is a foreign agent acting covertly until somebody flashes him the Queen of Dhumavati. (The Hindu poker deck is stacked with Mahavidyas, which really makes it hard to count blackjack.)

On the other hand, if we take his conversion at his word, we’re left with another problem: As a staunch anti-abortion Catholic, Jindal recognizes that life begins at conception. According to the timeline, that puts him back in the Punjab for the fateful pestorking session, which on our reading makes all the fuss over “natural born citizen” irrelevant. As constitutional scholar PDQ Bach says, “To curry favor, favor curry.”

But we’re generous, and we’d be willing to let all this slide, except for one unforgivable problem: Jindal’s self-chosen nickname was inspired by Bobby Brady. We don’t think America is ready for A Very Brady President.

In a Southern U.S. state, immigrants’ son takes over [International Herald Tribune, 10/22/2007]

Perspectives of an Indian Convert [America, 7/31/1993]

Hey, This Is Fun! [Stinque]

74 comments:

7:31 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

Really, they’re worse than Mormons.

Nope, they’re not. Until they come knocking on my fucking door at 8 am on Saturday, they’re cool with me. Mormons, JayDubs and Scientologists make me nuts.

Watch this video where John Safran (shout out to fellow Aussie CheapBoy) and a friend dress us as Mormon missionaries, go to Salt Lake City and preach the gospel of Darwin door-to-door (he even quotes Salt n Pepa and mentions Yaz and The Plastic Population and XTC): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykUwaPTXnAo

No snow day for me — see you tonight.

8:32 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

Like Barry and Bobby and many other children of immigrants, the name on my birth certificate is different than the name I use because my parents knew it would be easier for me in the era I was born if my name was anglicized.

Like Barry, my anglicized name is close to my birth name so there is not much of a stretch. I still use my anglicized name, unlike Barry.

Bobby? Brady? Seriously?

8:53 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

who are we to criticize. we, the keepers of every garbage show and jingle. for the rest of the day, i’ll be humming…”and that’s the waaay theeey became the brady bunch!! the braaady bunch,the braaady…..”

my usamerican first name is a common one, but very exotic in israel. they put my hebrew name on my israeli passport. a name given to me at birth before i could protest. kinda like how some guys must feel about their circumcisions. in israel, i am breina. this was without my consent however.

deliberate? bobby? brady? seriously?@ManchuCandidate:

9:23 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

The Bobby apologists are already out in force. Kathleen Parker sucks out loud here and CQ stinks out the joint here.

10:11 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

blogenfreude: Truth be told, Bobby’s probably the last Rhodes scholar that’s going to be at or near the top of the Republican food chain for a while.

You’ll note that Parker went rogue on us for a while back in 2008. I think she knows that if the GOP doesn’t come up with somebody who hasn’t been totally goobered up by Rush and Hannity and Coulter and Palin, then the best they will get is Mittens. Yeah — the guy who rightsized you out of a job in the near past and wanted to double Guantanamo. He’s the chosen one of the “I say, let ’em crash!” crowd.

Unless Bobby shakes out of it or, barring that, another guy who isn’t completely bezerk steps up, then the only thing that the GOP would be good for is keeping the gheys from getting hitched. And that might not be enough anymore.

(Yes: Bobby is no prize in terms of applying his smarts towards the moderation of policies in re non-procreative sex. Noted.)

10:25 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

Stinquers in CA might want to email Ellen Tauscher, who is trying to water down cramdown legislation. Horrible person.

10:39 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

@blogenfreude:
She’s also trying to get rid of the Gay ban in the US Armed Forces. I’m not sure of her gay support, but I would not be surprised if she’s doing this to make Barry’s life more difficult considering her plan to “protect” the mortgage holders.

11:05 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

blogenfreude: The fact that Ellen Tauscher blows is not news. SFL could tell you if it remains the case, as it was in the past, that her shtick is appealing to suburbanites who think that Pelosi/Woolsey/Lee are whackadoodle nuts who are so far left they’d fall into the Pacific if they weren’t careful. The same was true of Tom Lantos (blessings upon him) and is true of Anna Eshoo (D-SiliValley). Less than optimal, really.

[Duly noted: Barbara Lee could not fall into the Pacific from her district. San Francisco Bay is where she would land. Sorry.]

11:24 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

That 1993 article is very telling. That would be about a year and a half after he graduated from college. The article lacks the nuttery and zeal of a new(ish) convert. Shocking, considering that he wrote it for a Catholic (albeit liberal Catholic) magazine. Nevertheless, you can tell that his conversion was one of political convenience, right down to the choice of religion.

11:26 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

What did I say about registering “notamericanwhenlifebegan.com”? Maybe we should “not christian” as well. Let’s get on this.

11:54 am • Monday • March 2, 2009

I’m appalled that there is an “Ann Coulter — Free” banner ad above this thread. On this, Dr. Seuss’ birthday, I call on Manchu to riff on “I would not fuck her in a hat.”

12:04 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@chicago bureau: It remains the case, and if anything has gotten worse since Tauscher almost got gerrymandered out of her district by state Dems who were pissed that she supported her boyfriend Steny Hoyer over her fellow Californian/Vagina-American Nancy P for the party leadership post. The gerrymandering resulted in Mr. SFL’s parents being represented by Pombo for two years until (praise FSM) he was defeated by a Dem.

12:24 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

The thing that creeps me out the most about him? He’s younger than me. That always freaks me out.

12:32 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@RomeGirl: Remember when you were younger and you thought: “Well my generation will never fall for this shit!” I used to do the same thing.

12:34 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

Re: taking the oath on the Kama Sutra.

I wonder if Bobby has read any of the book besides the parts about acrobatic sexual positions.

12:36 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

SanFranLefty: No joke: what is it about California conservatives (of both parties) that make them so… strange? One would not expect a bunch of thumpers (except where you might expect, like Fresno and Bakersfield and Redding, perhaps) out there, but they are farther right than one might expect nonetheless.

I mean, you bring up Pombo. As if he was anything new. Pete Wilson. Ward Connerly. Props 13, 21, 22, 187, and 209. B-1 Bob. Dana Rohrbacher. Duke Cunningham. Darrell Issa. Reagan. Nixon. And now, the current crew that want to hang Ahnold by the fingernails for (horrors!) raising taxes. (Not that Ahnold is any prize. He’s better — perhaps — than Gray Davis was, but that does not say too much.)

When you guys are getting ready to send a moderate, Red Sox Republican to trade up to federal work (besides the Governator), could you please let us know so that one might not be as shocked? Kthx.

12:45 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@chicago bureau: I think it’s party due to gerrymandering and so you don’t have moderates winning in either party. Ahnold would have never won the GOP primary, he only got in because of the orchestrated recall. As for the propositions….what can I say other than what I always tell people asking for signatures for ballot initiatives: “I don’t believe in direct democracy and tyranny of the masses.”

I can only think of one moderate Republican from California – former U.S. Rep. Tom Campbell, former dean of the Berkeley business school and Stanford law professor, who is going to run for Governor next year. Incredibly intelligent, thoughtful and personable guy who is socially progressive. Sadly, I don’t think he’ll have a chance in the primary. I’m considering registering Republican for the next election just to vote for him in the primary.

12:50 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: No, no, a thousand times no, I beg you. The GOP must be finished off while we have the chance. Campbell belongs to the same party as Bush, Cheney, and Palin. I’ll repeat that. Campbell belongs to the same party as Bush, Cheney, and Palin. Any sensible human being would switch parties.

1:10 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@blogenfreude: See, IMHO, there needs to be some sort of opposition party, if not to laugh at. That, and to threaten the living daylights out of progressives with the specter of the Exorcist of Louisiana becoming prezdint. Fear = motivation.

The one time I ever voted Republican in my life was for GA-12’s Max Burns, who is a conservative fossil replaced by Blue Dog John Barrow in 2004, because his Democratic opponent at the time in 2002 was an absolute joke who would have been way, way worse than Maxie.

1:32 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@blogenfreude:

If the Republican response had been given by an enormous pile of dog shit, Kathleen Parker would have called the poo “inspiring” and likened it to Ronald Regan. This woman is an apologist’s apologist; she works in sophistry like Rodan worked in bronze. Sometimes I read her just for the sheer wonder watching how she stretches intellectual poverty until it actually looks like a plausible argument in the right light.

1:38 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go: It is sort of funny that she so obviously voted for Obama.

1:50 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go:
I thought Rodan worked in Tokyo?
Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

2:02 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

It was a sad day when my cong district was redrawn and I no longer had George Miller representing me, but instead was stuck with Tauscher. She votes more conservatively than her district. I would have said that she was more conservative than her district, but that would be misrepresenting her as actually having any personal beliefs. Tauscher is a complete chameleon, as accomplished a shapeshifter as I have ever seen. She votes her campaign pocketbook, not her constituency’s will. When the Republicans bother to run opposition, it’s always some Shiteating Joe, who gets trounced (praise FSM), and there don’t seem to be any decent Democrats who want to oppose her in a primary.

2:08 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@chicago bureau: I take solace in the fact that I have, at one time or another, been represented in Congress by Ron Dellums, Barbara Lee, and George Miller.

2:18 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Ewalda: My track record is not so great. Eleanor Holmes Norton has been in office far too long, with so little to show for it, to earn any but the most begrudging respect.

2:29 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@chicago bureau: BTW, the Cal Supremes are hearing the Prop 8 lawsuits this week.

2:29 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@mellbell: Wow! You should be proud of Weldon. He had it all: Republican, crooked, and willing to write a book that claimed the FBI, CIA, and NSA and Congress deliberately let the terrists win. He’s missing a sex scandal, or else he’d have four aces.

2:49 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Dodgerblue:
I’m thinking of going to hear the arguments on Thursday. If it’s not raining I’ll go stand in line early to get in. Then again, they’re broadcasting the arguments on the California Channel, so I could always sit in the comfort of my office.

Of course, it’d be fun to go see the protesting Mormons with their magic undies in knots about this, and to give a Bronx cheer to Ken Starr.

2:56 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: If you go, we can set you up for a Stinque Field Trip. I love live remotes.

3:00 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: Cool! I hope you get to go. A friend of mine worked on one of the amicus briefs and thinks we have a shot at it.

3:01 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@nojo: I’ve never heard arguments there, but I’m pretty sure the California Supremes are like every other court and no cellphones inside. I may have to just take notes in the old school method and report afterward, w/o liveblogging.

3:09 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: That would work just fine — and photos of protestors outside, if you can. If you’re able to attend and gather all that, just shoot everything to me afterward and I can tidy for posting.

3:11 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

I thought the brady bunch was a Mormon Family. If those little girls aren’t child brides then I think there’s some family values malfeasance going on there.

3:18 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: The DC Circuit, at least, only prohibits phones with cameras, so you might be able to get away with texting.

3:18 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Marcel Parcells: So much to work with there — couldn’t even fit in Greg pestorking Florence Henderson behind the scenes.

3:24 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Ewalda:

Great minds, dude. I thought of that while I was typing it out….

3:37 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

Is it just me or does Marcel Parcells‘s snowflake look somewhat ominous?

3:46 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@SanFranLefty: Dear Stinquers: as SFL noted above, the Cal Supremes are broadcasting the Prop 8 oral arguments live this Thurs on the California Channel, http://www.calchannel.com/,
9-12 noon Pacific time. Well-known creep Ken Starr is arguing for Hate.

3:51 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@mellbell: For the longest time, I had this hardy band of faux reps. In hindsight, no representation and no taxation? No problem!

3:52 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!: It’s not just you.

3:53 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!: @Mistress Cynica: I’m scared. Tommcatt, hold me.

4:12 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@rptrcub:

It will be okay, Lil’ Cowboy. The history of humankind is a history of slavery becoming liberty, and opression becoming freedom. This will go our way…if not now, then soon. The curve always bends toward the just, in the end.

4:15 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go: The curve always bends toward the just, in the end.

You take that potty mouth outside, mister. There are wimminfolk in here.

4:18 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@nojo:

Heheheh. It’s dirtier if you remove the comma.

4:22 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go: All threads lead to Beavis & Butthead.

4:28 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

TJ/ Only a month of the Hope Admin and Blackwater is in trouble.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeremy-scahill/mercenary-king-erik-princ_b_171105.html

4:30 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!:
BTW, I’m so thrilled to see your old avatar finally make an appearance here.

@Dodgerblue: See, it’s so high-tech and easy, it’d almost be more fun for us to simultaneously stream and liveblog the arguments from the comfort of our living rooms/couches/offices, then for me to sit in some auditorium in the Civic Center watching a grainy video feed with crappy audio connections. This also raises the question why SCOTUS continues to resist being on C-SPAN – it hasn’t destroyed the Cali Supremes yet. Apparently a college student in Florida asked Scalia about it and he ripped into her for being so impudent to him. What a piece of shit he is.

4:32 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

Now here is a revolting development:

“4 Tons of Fertilizer Stolen From Store

By Martin Weil
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, March 2, 2009; B03

At least four tons of fertilizer was stolen over the weekend in Frederick, city police said. No motive had been determined.

A ton of urea and three tons of other fertilizer were taken from the Southern States store on South Street between Saturday night and Sunday morning, police said.”

The Adkisson Brigades stirring?

4:37 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Promnight: And So It Begins.

4:41 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@nojo: The Prop 8 arguments thread is bound to lead directly to Beavis and Butthead territory.

@SanFranLefty: Thank you. Seemed only fair now that football season is over. Also, I presume you’ve read about Prommie and nojo’s panty raid and are all caught up on that bit o’fun.

4:58 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

Wrong, nojo. The correct answer is…

A ton of urea and three tons of other fertilizer were taken from the Southern States store on South Street between Saturday night and Sunday morning, police said.

Lt. John Smith also said that if Mr. Hannity and Mr. Limbaugh were brought back to the store without injury, then no charges would be pressed. “Our only, and immediate, concern is their safe return to their families,” Smith added.

[Laugh in the face of imminent danger, or else you will go mad. I mean, they’ll find the fertilizer before it makes it into the back of a U-Haul, right? Right?]

5:03 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Promnight: Gee, Frederick, MD, what could anyone possibly want to target near there? Oh, right. But to look on the bright side, such as it is, in this economy someone could well be stealing all that for strictly agricultural purposes.

5:15 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@mellbell: Or to cook up a big batch of meth.

5:18 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Promnight: Don’t worry, guys. My understanding is that the receipt for the uhaul is made out to a Mr. D. Cheney, McLean VA. Just another agribusiness transaction for Your Free-Market Capitalism System At Work.

BTW, can anybody make out this reference to Oklahoma City OK?

5:20 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!: What panty raid, Ms. Bionic Woman?

5:25 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Jamie Sommers is unfairly harsh!: Wait, wait, never mind. My minor cerebrum was thinking for my major cerebrum. Again.

5:30 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

Elsewhere down the Stack, our Hannity post is drawing some major Crooks & Liars traffic, including heavy Poll action. (Pause for comeback.) I’d like to thank our Anonymous Blogger for his, her or their contribution to the vituperative arts.

6:00 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@nojo: On that point, the top-bar stories should have clickable images, as well as titles.

6:33 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

TJ/ Barry AG releases Legal Opinions that for War on Terra.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/02/obama-releases-secret-bus_n_171171.html

Last night, I had dinner at the parents. We talked about this briefly. My mom told me that Yoo wasn’t really Korean. I had to laugh. I told her that he is one of us. She changed the subject.

6:40 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@nojo: Holy guacamole!

6:42 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@ManchuCandidate:

Being Korean is a matter of choice, like being a Methodist?

Who knew?

6:43 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Tommmcatt A Go-Go:
Yes, but it counts in marriage. My mom can be rather, um, silly at times.

My sister threw in a zinger and said, “Mom, don’t treat him like Ben Johnson.”

Ben Johnson, disgraced CANADIAN sprinter of the Seoul 88 Olympics went through a transformation in the media from CANADA City Gold Medal Winner to Canada City Jamaican Suspected of Steroids to Jamaican Caught Using Steroids as the press tried to wash themselves of the national shame.

Didn’t work.

6:48 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@mellbell: Don’t forget koo-koo pants Jim Bunning.

6:51 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@IanJ: You and your damn Reasonable Suggestions. I’ll fix that tonight.

7:35 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@mellbell: I’ve been to that Southern States. That town is called “Fredneck” for a reason.

7:42 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@homofascist:

She voted for Obama? How do you know that?

8:17 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@ManchuCandidate: Was your sis born in the year of the white horse? My daughter was, and we were told she would grow up “strong willed” (read: talking back to parent and/or future hubbies). She is, does and probably will.

ADD: but she just lost her second tooth and is the damn cutest thing on this planet, imho.

8:20 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@Nabisco:
Nope, she was born in the year of the Rat.

10:07 pm • Monday • March 2, 2009

@chicago bureau: U-haul would like me to remind you that it was a Ryder truck, thankyouverymuch. It was right after the bombing that Ryder started painting the trucks white instead of yellow.

1:48 am • Tuesday • March 3, 2009

@nojo: I’m here to be Reasonably Obnoxious.

6:55 am • Tuesday • March 3, 2009

@JNOV: Did *anyone* follow my link? Pfft. I will stop posting them if it’s a waste of time and y’all prefer to remain ignorant of the great world around you. :-P

7:16 am • Tuesday • March 3, 2009

@blogenfreude: Yeah. I used to be like, “Grownups do the darndest things” and now I’m like, “Hey you crazy whippersnapper! Get your act together!”

1:09 pm • Tuesday • March 3, 2009

@JNOV: Followed it but didn’t watch the whole thing. Just seeing people dressed like missionaries gets me antsy. Sorry.

9:38 pm • Tuesday • March 3, 2009

@Ewalda: Hey, at least you tried! The best part is when a Mormon beats them with a rake!

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