Today In Snakehandling

snakehandlers Because someone has to keep an eye on the Bible thumpers:

Georgia Woman Runs Over Boyfriend for Not Going to Church

Baltimore Father Stabs Son After Teen Refuses to Remove Hat in Church

Bobby Jindal Casts Out Chances For Higher Office

North Dakota Passes Law Protecting Blastocyst-Americans

South Carolina Governor Prays for Unemployed, Rejects Unemployment Cash from Stimulus

CO State Senator Compares Being Gay to Committing Murder

Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins Might Challenge Vitter for His Senate Seat

Stormy will need all the help she can get.

21 Comments

Gay == murder? Wow, that’s a new one on me.

Which reminds me, Netflix delivered Our Mr. Sun. Haven’t had a moment to pop it in yet.

Tony “Psycho” Perkins, David “Shitter” Vitter and Stormy Daniels.

That’s a not a Three Way I believe in.

stabbed him in the ass? jesus could not give a shit. doesn’t count until something hits the floor wriggling. get right with jesus, asshole!

@nojo: A trip down memory lane. Mine is timed to come when the GF is out of town – she would not appreciate the Professor.

Mrs. RML says I really don’t have to go to church with her but I’m smarter than that. Preservation of domestic tranquility is not a bad thing. For a non-adherent, though, I sure get huffy when I see the parking lot full on Christmas and Easter.

If it makes you feel better (it won’t), the most viewed story on the Chicago Tribune’s website is whether or not it was appropriate for Michelle to wear a sleeveless dress last night. I shit you not. The only consolation is there is a picture of the new cover of People magazine, where she looks slammin’.

@homofascist: I am sick and tired of Michelle Obama wearing clothes. In fact, if she cared about the dignity of the institution of the white house she would be naked most of the time and having long televised love-making sessions on the WH lawn with Elizabeth Kucinich. Imagine the pay-per-view potential and the renewed interest in civic affairs that would attend Elizabeth sitting on Michelle’s face while President Obama gives a speech.

homofascist: Wait. You could actually view a page on the Trib website without waiting ten minutes for it to load? For real — if Trib emerges from Chapter 11, they had better get some new servers.

@chicago bureau: I’m not paying close attention, but Hearst is threatening to shut down the SF Chron unless the employees promise to work for peanuts.

Lost in the story: Hearst only bought the (morning) Chronicle a few years ago, and had to dump the (afternoon) Examiner to do it. I don’t know what kind of financing was involved, but so much of the Newspaper Crisis smells of bad ownership, like the Trib.

Newspapers are fucked anyway — they’ve been doomed for a generation — but they’re not helping themselves.

nojo: Actually, I just posted on that. This mind-meld thing has GOT TO STOP. (Particularly because I will be forced to come to some sort of understanding of how mind-melding works, and thus learn more than I would ever want to know about sci-fi programs on the teevee.)

@chicago bureau: Dude, we’ve just done a double mind-meld. I need a smoke.

Now that they bring it up, I have never seen Chicago Bureau and Nojo in the same room…

homofascist: And we both have been known to enjoy the occasional cigarette.

No — wait — I am supposed to be vigorously denying the whole doppelganger thing.

Anyway.

Dear Real Princess Margaret….

@nojo: Wired’s Danger Room blog (nat. security/defense/intel/warbots) has a category called Press Corpse

@This is your brain on Tommmcatt, any questions?: When I’m watching my back around the gays, it’s not nail files I’m worried about.

@nojo: Is that like “docking?” Oh, no, thats a HEAD meld.

wait. you’re skating over the most important part of this post:
north dakota just passed a bill, giving FULL RIGHTS to zygote americans. am i still dreaming? these new sleepers give me wicked vivid dreams, i was just startled awake from dreaming i was having sex with justin kirk. (he clearly recognized my inner gay man) and i tune in to THIS. we are going backwards so fast my head is falling off. have we ever considered this will be the backlash of the election of a sane intelligent man?
*crawling under desk*

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