GOP Gestapo Preparing to Stomp Party Apostates for Heretical Moderation
Newly appointed RNC Chairman Michael Steele is preparing to stomp the three GOP Senators who crossed the aisle and voted in favor of the recently passed economic revitalization package, to punish heretical moderation that threatens to forestall the party’s hysterical, psychopathic march to cataclysmic implosion.
At once, the party uberfuhrer will prove his bona fides as a grinning fanatic and as the ultimate enforcer of the GOP by bringing down his boot on the throats of party apostates. “Collaboration is surrender. The party says to them, ‘those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live’,” Steele spat at Neil Cavuto during Cavuto’s regularly scheduled Fox News hatecast on February 23.
Maine GOP Senators Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe (Maine didn’t get the memo in 1980 about the party being taken over by barking mad econopsychopaths and Jesus freaks) and Arlen Specter sided with democrats to pass the economic stimulus legislation this month, provoking shouts of ‘traitor,’ ‘collaborator’ and ‘stalinist’ from the party base, which is eager to drive America to financial ruin and, finally, transform the nation into the theocratic dystopia ruled by psychopathically militarized conglomerates that the founding fathers clearly intended to establish.
Steele said punishment will be cruel and senseless, in the best traditions of the GOP, starting with the defunding of these Senators’ next re-election campaigns, denying them party contributions. “It’s like the boot on the throat, yah? They get sassy, baby, and oops, once on the ground, boot getting heavy, getting hard to breathe, hah, they’ll learn loyalty again, if we don’t crush their windpipe,” Steele said.
Asked about a recent New York Times/CBS News poll that showed 79 percent of respondents wanted Republicans to work in a bipartisan way with the Obama administration, Steele’s jaw’s dropped. “You believe that crap? Or care? America has been seized by a Marxist cult led by a rogue Kenyan-Indonesian operative of diabolical intent. We’ve proven that! Time and time again! Irrefutable proof! We will take back America and America will be free again!”
Reminded that the GOP lost badly in the last two national election cycles, Steele grinned, “We’re dealing with that. In fact, our old friends, the mujadhin, have seen our plight, fighting the Marxists at home in the US and have answered our call for help.” Steele chucked off his jacket revealing a sports vest fully loaded with dynamite and wired for quick detonation. “Elections? Elections are for assholes that don’t understand how power is seized from the hands of the weak.” Laughing diabolically, Steeled howled, “We shall not capitulate… no never. We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us… a world in flames.”