GOP Gestapo Preparing to Stomp Party Apostates for Heretical Moderation
Newly appointed RNC Chairman Michael Steele is preparing to stomp the three GOP Senators who crossed the aisle and voted in favor of the recently passed economic revitalization package, to punish heretical moderation that threatens to forestall the party’s hysterical, psychopathic march to cataclysmic implosion.
At once, the party uberfuhrer will prove his bona fides as a grinning fanatic and as the ultimate enforcer of the GOP by bringing down his boot on the throats of party apostates. “Collaboration is surrender. The party says to them, ‘those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live’,” Steele spat at Neil Cavuto during Cavuto’s regularly scheduled Fox News hatecast on February 23.
Maine GOP Senators Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe (Maine didn’t get the memo in 1980 about the party being taken over by barking mad econopsychopaths and Jesus freaks) and Arlen Specter sided with democrats to pass the economic stimulus legislation this month, provoking shouts of ‘traitor,’ ‘collaborator’ and ‘stalinist’ from the party base, which is eager to drive America to financial ruin and, finally, transform the nation into the theocratic dystopia ruled by psychopathically militarized conglomerates that the founding fathers clearly intended to establish.
Steele said punishment will be cruel and senseless, in the best traditions of the GOP, starting with the defunding of these Senators’ next re-election campaigns, denying them party contributions. “It’s like the boot on the throat, yah? They get sassy, baby, and oops, once on the ground, boot getting heavy, getting hard to breathe, hah, they’ll learn loyalty again, if we don’t crush their windpipe,” Steele said.
Asked about a recent New York Times/CBS News poll that showed 79 percent of respondents wanted Republicans to work in a bipartisan way with the Obama administration, Steele’s jaw’s dropped. “You believe that crap? Or care? America has been seized by a Marxist cult led by a rogue Kenyan-Indonesian operative of diabolical intent. We’ve proven that! Time and time again! Irrefutable proof! We will take back America and America will be free again!”
Reminded that the GOP lost badly in the last two national election cycles, Steele grinned, “We’re dealing with that. In fact, our old friends, the mujadhin, have seen our plight, fighting the Marxists at home in the US and have answered our call for help.” Steele chucked off his jacket revealing a sports vest fully loaded with dynamite and wired for quick detonation. “Elections? Elections are for assholes that don’t understand how power is seized from the hands of the weak.” Laughing diabolically, Steeled howled, “We shall not capitulate… no never. We may be destroyed, but if we are, we shall drag a world with us… a world in flames.”
MAY THE BATTLE BEGIN!!11!!!!1!
But what is Ann Coulter-FREE doing up there, above? Is she throwing the first stone?
“Barking mad econopsychopaths” is a classic!
Minor quibble: tt’s Specter, although his hair was looking more bountiful last night so i understand the confusion.
But what is Ann Coulter-FREE doing up there, above?
Providing a target when you feel like punching your screen?
@shortsshortsshorts: I got FREE NEWT!, but Coultergeist (yes, I like KO’s version) has been lurking in the Google ad for a couple of weeks now.
Google ads pay for shit, but I keep them around for entertainment value. Elsewhere I’ve called it Google Roolette.
Ann Coulter and the Hive Mother from Alien 3: Separated at birth?
@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation:
I dunno. Aliens are more intelligent and compassionate than Mann is.
Plus the second set of teeth are in a different place.
@nojo: I say if they want to send us ad dollars spent by the wingnuts – fine.
On some happy newz:
It’s official. Water Dog for the 1st Girls.
@ManchuCandidate: It can be BFFs with Ted Kennedy’s doggies. How cute.
Here in Kalifornia the guy who finally cast the vote that passed the state emergency budget plan has been told he isn’t getting any campaign money or support if he dares to run again. Neither are the other 5 Repubs who did the right thing. Two of them are up for reelection in 2010, and won’t get any $ or support just because they finally decided that maybe the GOP wasn’t as important as keeping the state from going totally insolvent and having to shut down. There were lots of stories in this whole state budget fight, but they didn’t seem to be adequately reported. One thing it seems to have accomplished: Ahnold’s complete lack of power in his own party has become very apparent.
@Ewalda: Right, the fucking Terminator got fucking clotheslined by some pencil-necked nazis. Fuck you, Arnold!
Great. Let them run some No-Name-Recognition Crypto-Nazi in those districts. More votes for us.
GODDAMMIT! Before I logged in, I got The God Who Wasn’t There Google ad. I was gonna come here and na na na na boo boo you guys who got Coulter. But after I logged in, what did I get? Fucking Coulter for FREE no less. What a bounty.
They should totally pay US to look at that shrew.
@Ewalda: But doesn’t all this obstructionism, you know, look bad to the voters?
BTW. I had a terrible thought today while doing the laundry. I wondered if perhaps the Republicans can’t tell the difference between Jindal and Obama. But worse, for the first time I have seriously begun to wonder if they followed Bush because they thought he was right. And compared to them he has begun to seem like the brightest guy in the room. Rarely have I seen so much stupidity being displayed by so many for the benefit of so few. Maybe, just maybe, they really do think Bush is like Churchill?
@Ewalda: All needle and no steroids.
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