Shrub Beats the Spread

Just make sure Dawson doesn't kiss Cheney.

As we know, George W. Bush prefers to await the Verdict of History on his presidency, instead of fleeting matters like popularity polls or just about every objective statistic you can cite.

And if the first round of voting is any indication, there’s room for hope: Shrub is only the seventh worst president in two centuries, following James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, and four other trivia questions.

Give the dude credit: We were sure he’d place in the bottom five.

The occasion is a C-SPAN survey of 65 presidential historians across ten categories. Shrub’s lowest score was second-worst in International Relations, while he placed a personal best (24 of 42) in — please, hold your response — “Pursued Equal Justice for All”.

Bear in mind, they are grading on a curve. Considering all the antebellum presidents in the list, anyone after 1860 gets a head start in that one.

Leading the list you’ll find the usual suspects — Abe/George/FDR/Teddy — and rounding out the Top Ten, an entry that proves the surveyed historians are either more fair or more delusional than we would allow: Ronald Reagan.

2009 Historians Presidential Leadershp Survey [C-SPAN]

Pursued Equal Justice for all?

Something about voter caging, politicization of the DOJ and other attempts to politicize the Fed bureaucracy isn’t what I call equal justice let along Gitmo and other places where only the finest torture and beatings occurred.

Oh, you mean for rich white people? Oh, that…

Reagan? This “amiable dunce” told stories of liberating a concentration camp – of course he spent all of WWII in Culver City making training films. His lies were staggering. His disgusting shrew of a wife preached family values yet rose in Hollywood by giving blowjobs to studio executives. Fuck Saint Ronnie.

i thought reagan had mental problems when he was in office. and nancy’s birdlike form is the single reason the latent GOPers came out.

the devil is in the details manchu. justice for all? hmm. no culture on earth ever suceeded without subjugating another.
remember, we are not guaranteed happiness, only the PURSUIT of it.
good luck to us all.
must we STILL discuss the disgrace we called president for 8 loooooong
years. he’s in a pile of brush in crawford drinking gin from the bottle.
let’s all tip toe away. thnx.

That’s true.

I know life isn’t fair, but I think politicizing justice is high up there on the BushCo’s list of high crimes.

bushco makes gambino look like inspector clouseau.

Bushco has the viciousness of Gambino, Mendacity of Goebbels and the competence of Clouseau.

I’d like to add Andrew Jackson to the list of Presidential Motherfuckers.

Total bullshit. I mean, WH Harrison placed three behind Dubya. Really — Harrison’s major blunder was croaking before he could do anything. And Dubya beats him?

Looking at the list of participants, the only one that rings a bell is Larry Sabato. (Actually, he wasn’t selected to be on the panel but was just found in C-SPAN studios talking endlessly and thus was placed on the panel in a vain attempt to shut him up.) I’m guessing that a few neo-con friendly people made the score respectable for Dubya.

Other breakouts by category:

Public Persuasion: 36th
Crisis Leadership: 25th
Economic Management: 40th (beating Hoover (barely) and Buchanan)
Moral Authority: 35th (heh)
International Relations: 41st (beating only The Dead Guy)
Administrative Skills: 37th
Relations with Congress: 36th

[Timeout: he had the most malleable Congress in history. I don’t know what game these faceless historians were watching on this one.]

The Vision Thing: 25th (the only category in which he beat Poppy)
Performance in Context of Times (huh?): 36th

Does anyone else just absolutely LURVE tinfoil? I mean, as an article of apparel, for the head? I have detected what appears to be the tip of an iceberg of tinfoil hat theories surrounding the “satellite collision” thingy last week (BTW, debris from same caused a “meteor shower” over north Texas last night, no large chunks appear to have hit Crawford, however; those who believe in prayer, now would be time to pray that God improves his aim). Apparently, this was the test of a Russian anti-satellite weapon, boldly and brazenly perpetrated on a US satellite, in an example of testing a new president similar to the chinese kidnapping of an american spy plane in Bush’s first month in office.

Or else it has something to do with chemtrails, also.

And then we flew an Aurora up to see what happened, using the propulsion technology we copied from the alien spacecraft at Wright-Patterson.

I heard the collision was done because the Freemasons, Scientologists and the Bilderbergs wanted it to happen.

@ManchuCandidate: Nah, it was the reverse vampires. The Simpsons needs to bring back one-armed vietnam-vet guy, he knew the scoop.

@chicago bureau:
Hey, at least the French Sub didn’t surrender.

I kid. I kid.

Other infuriating news: Gatorade rips off Monty Python & The Holy Grail in an ad.

Gatorade must be made to pay for this.

@chicago bureau: Picture a slo-mo jaw drop as I watched that Saturday night.

Would have followed it up, but I thought: How can Python (Monty) Pictures Limited not already be paid for that?

nojo: The use of the actual music makes me believe that the Pythons made bank on the deal. Which, in keeping with Python tradition, actually makes some sense and can be appreciated on some level.

Still: blasphemy.

@chicago bureau: Hey, Gilliam’s gotta fund his movies somehow…

As far as the “actual” music, I think that’s BBC Library, available for license to all.

@chicago bureau: Both submarines were equipped with state-of-the-art sonar technology, but Cobbold said it was possible that neither was aware of the close proximity of the other vessel.

“Modern submarines are very, very quiet. In many types of water conditions they might not hear the approach of another submarine,” he said.

Um, isn’t that the FRICKING POINT of submarines? Haven’t they, like, FACTORED THAT IN when designing sonar?


@chicago bureau: And that Gatorade page menu reads like a Beastie Boys track list.

@RomeGirl: Subs never ever turn on their active sonar, it would be like an announcement telling everyone in the world where you are. Instead they simply listen for the sound of other ships and subs coming toward them. Collisions used to be common between US and Soviet subs. Ya gotta watch Hunt for Red October again, brush up on your cold-war military tech-porn.

Prommie: Actually, I prefer Crimson Tide to Hunt for Red October.

Mmmmm… Jerry Bruckheimer. That’s some good film-makin’. Plus: Gene Hackman in a star-turn as “Crotchety Old Man” (a role that he would make famous, several times over). He can be the commander of my fucking ship at his will.

@chicago bureau: Plus the late great (and UO grad) Don Simpson, Jerry’s partner and the Asshole of Hollywood before he coked himself to the Great Beyond.

Sure, we can also claim James Ivory, but what shit did he ever blow up?

This list is reminding me of Best Supporting Cast in a Sitcom category at the SAG awards. Though I doubt it carries quite the same intellectual heft.

I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: Best Abs on a Sitting Prezindent. That’s gotta count for something.

Oh and I saw Reagan up close a couple of years after he quit and he clearly did not know where he was or what was going on. And this clearly was not a new development. I suspect there will be ‘shocking’ documentaries made about the ‘secret’ of his Alzheimers, like the ones made about the way Roosevelt concealed his inability to walk or stand without a great deal of support.

@Benedick: Congratulations on your FABULOUS play!

@chicago bureau: After Moby sold out to Nike, I gave up. I have no righteous indignation left. I’ve gone so far as to actually be delighted when I hear any Who song on a TV show or commercial. The indoctrination is complete.

Caligutard is the 7th worst??

Like the US totally collapsed six times before his Reign of Terrah?

JNOV: Actually, my breaking point is when I heard a Magnetic Fields song in a commercial. After the initial — OMG I’m probably the only guy watching FOX NFL Sunday that actually knows they are listening to the Magnetic Fields — I was kind of creeped out.

@chicago bureau: I don’t know Magnetic Fields. Please describe them to me.

@JNOV: Ten tons of awesome in musical form. Sweet, folksy, quirky, a little gay. “Let’s pretend we’re bunny rabbits, let’s do it all day long”. “The book of love is long and boring, no one can lift the damn thing.” “I had a dream and you were in it/The blue of your eyes was infinite/You seemed to be/In love with me/Which isn’t very realistic.” I really could go on…

@homofascist: Oooooooooooooo…must check them out!

homofascist: When things go wrong, I sing along / it is the nature of the business / but you’re not here to make my sad songs more sincere. Like, swooon.

But: a little gay? Stephin Merritt is spoken of in the same breath as Cole Porter. Srsly: gay gay gay. But I love him anyway.

JNOV: Some of the best writing in pop music, ever. A bit of detached cynical Williamsburg hipster, sure, but funny as hell. Exhibit A: “California Girls,” Youtubed here.

love red october.
“i always wanted to see montana” makes me cry.

it’s 3:30 am, can’t sleep. (my body laughs at sleeping pills)worried about my 4 babies at pampered paws. working on animal proofing the house, baby gates, and the government. bringing in unacomanied pets is another clusterfuck that will have me in 2 guv buildings this week. they’ve taken to cuddling up together, they must think i abandoned them and their huddling. i’m crying so hard.
i blame rat for everything, though i did make the choice. it was ego. i just had to crush the competition. now that that’s been taken care of, i want to hop a plane tomorrow and be with the ones i really love.
i just might. sadness tonight.
twice in 6 months i have to rescue my beloved furries.

That is tough.

What is the hold up with your fur babies?

@chicago bureau:
i resemble that remark on behalf of my gay friends. “anyway”? WTF?
oooh, i’m cranky tonight, you know i love you CB—anyway.

permits, documents, arranging the handlers that will be escorting them to their 3 flights…..provo to miami to heathrow to ben gurion.
it’s a mes, but rat is assuring me he’s on the case with the gubmint first thing tomorrow.


Hopefully they’ll be very happy to see you when you get them. One time, we left our dog in the kennel for a week. She was really upset when we picked her up and she had to leave the attendant and was rather snotty to us for a couple of days.

She spent most of that time looking right at us and snorting.

@chicago bureau:
now i feel bad, i better go to bed before i write something else i’ll regret.
i have no filter between my brain and mouth, especially now. sorry to be so crochety. xo

sergio will leap on me and knock me on my ass, 16 year old blind bernie will wiggle his whole little body and smile, squeaky will leap into my arms. gracie will glare at me for days from under the bed.

it’s a cold and rainy night, as gloomy as me.
i was reading too much pablo nerudo tonight. depressed me.

If you’re still awake… What is the ETA to the holy land for your furbabies?

@baked: Oh sweetie, what a nightmare. Make rat’s life a living hell until he gets them there. It’s all his fault.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment