Stinque Customer Service

@Mistress Cynica: Beefcake?  You want beefcake?  Here you go:


Happy? Now everyone has to go bleach their brain.


Oh Arnie. This is why it’s better to never try in the first place.

As much as I enjoy looking at the female form, here is something a little easier on the eyes for my gay and gal friends…{B29DEA6F-DCE3-4399-A7E3-240B1D152903}

The fact that he insists on the briefs makes it hurt doubly.

Well some of us do a whole lot better maintaining our physical appearance even into seniority. Though I may have diminished 75% of my mental capability, but being smart has turned out vastly over-rated.

Sorry, but the part of Jabba the Hutt is played by a computer.

He was always hideous. Looked like he smelled like fried pork rinds.

@AARPrick: Yeah, and I still remember your Halloween pictures. Obviously Arnie just let things get away from him… (But it does seem to happen to an awful lot of muscle-bound types.)

It happens alot to athletes. They have to eat about a zillion calories to perform but don’t back off on the munchies when the sport is ovah.

Please don’t click on this link re: Australian hawttie swim-bear Ian Thorpe.

@Original Andrew:
I knew a few guys who were rowers in University. I saw them about four years ago at a friend’s bachelor party. I, the short stocky fellow, was the skinniest of the bunch.

That Speedo on that body. Yup, he’s Austrian and has no shame. I’m used to seeing pale, puffy German men rocking the butt floss at the beach. Austrian, German. Same diff.

@blogenfreude: After the cavalcade of titties and now this post, you are officially on my list. Yes, that list.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Goatse? Will I be scarred for life if I Google that?

@Benedick: +1


Mr. OA is on FaceSpace, and he looked up a few of the hawt XXX guys we knew in the dorms in college. Let’s just say that and the coming cannibal anarchy inspired me to take up hapkido.

(And my future job as the fourth Charlie’s Angel, of course).

@JNOV: Do Not Google Goatse. It’s a Hilarious Prank perpetuated by fratboys, usually along the lines of “check out this hot girl-on-girl porn.” It’s a very disturbing, and not-sexy image. I’ve never seen it, and I don’t want to.

@Mistress Cynica: Haven’t you figured it out? I am an angry, bitter, cynical person. Don’t make me start posting bad music videos – I am not above it. I have the musical equivalent of nuclear-tipped cruise missiles.

On the bright side – I’m sitting here at work and the system is down. I’m getting paid to catch up on Dilbert.

@IanJ: Ian, thanks for preventing me from having a total meltdown today!

@Bloggie: You are evil incarnate. Where is Homofascist? Do I have to do all the work around here to find beefcake? Give me a minute…

@ManchuCandidate: Your linkie didn’t work!

@blogenfreude: Grrrrrrr. Rub it in, why don’t you? You are now at the TOP of my list. Our system went down, and we got screwed. I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around it.

@IanJ: Naturally, I’m now dying to check it out.

ADD: Oh yeah, I don’t need to click the links. I remember when Gawker featured this and got something like 400,000 clicks on the story.

@JNOV: And don’t go dissing Stormy. If she unseats Vitter, I plan to bear her children. But she’ll have to nurse them.

@SanFranLefty: C’mon over here to the dark side. The meals are catered, and we even have dental.

@SanFranLefty: Check it out at your own peril. I believe the phrase “distended anus” has been mentioned in connection with goatse. I’ve been avoiding it for at least 10 years, you can too.

@IanJ: Oh, God. It’s like the megacolon I saw at the Mütter Museum in Philly.

Oh, and I can’t believe this joker is my governor. Charlie Crist would look a lot better in a speedo, I’d bet.

@SanFranLefty: Right? Oh, and I just got booted off of FB and won’t be able to get back on for several hours due to site maintenance. Sorry I won’t see you there.

@ManchuCandidate: Something’s just not right about him in that pic, but I can’t put my finger on it. I do appreciate your efforts, though. Much better than that bullshit Blogenfreude has been subjecting us to.

I loves boobies, but I’m trying to be considerate here.

@ManchuCandidate: Sure nuff, that’s George. Looking rather odd…

@ManchuCandidate: Oh, that just totally changed my mood. Thanks!

@ManchuCandidate: Hey, there is nothing wrong with that. Let’s just say that a certain someone around here has been dipping rather heavily into the porn star well, and it gets tiresome if you go to a site without planning to be inundated with plastic boobs.


Oh god, yes, yes it will. I don’t advise it. It is “Two Girls and a Cup” sickening, that bad, seriously.

I find Arnie equally unattractive in both photos. But you know, less unattractive old and looking real. We all are old, or will be. Gotta learn to love it.

@JNOV: You’d rather I post about ugly cars some more?


Straight guys and their Paul Newman fetish! Weird.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:
Not really. I’m still at work and was in a rush to find something.

I has a snapshot of my daddy, taken in 1937, on the beach, wearing the swimsuit of the day, the belted high-rise fitted boxer. Thats a suit I would wear. One of these days I will scan it and post it, it would honor dad’s memory to have everyone salivating over him, he was a babe.

Back in them days, the mens swimsuit had a high waist, but very very short legs.

Even when a man aquires some girth about the middle, his legs tend to do better, so the best strategy would be high waist, short legs, but instead, current fashion is low waist, and cover the thighs, many men’s best feature, with baggy baggy folds of awkward fabric. Its backwards.

Lets face it, when we get a little older, we dudes tend to aquire some girth. The current style, baggy baggy things, just doesn’t work for that physique. If the waist is up over the gut, it looks like a spastic sarong. Let the waist fall below the gut, it makes you look like Chris Farley.

The biggest difference between men and women, when it comes to clothing, is that women look best half-dressed, half-disrobed, they look great in swimwear. Men look better either fully clothed in a snappy suit, or totally naked, half-way just looks awkward.


Re: cars

Some dude just built (computer generated?) a Dodge Viper circa 1967–if the Viper had been around then–and it’s one of the most drop dead gorgeous cars I’ve ever seen. It srsly makes me weak in the knees. Very Detroit Muscle meets Pininfarina.

If Detroit could design and produce cars like this now, their probs would be solved.

Re: goatse, its not very special at all, really, once you have seen one prolapsed anus you have seen them all.

The key word is “ass tulip.” Just search “ass tulip,” and goatse will be so un-memorable.

The ever-tasteful Gawker provides a guide to the ultimate gross-out images, here:

I have not clicked those links, the descriptions were enough.

Sometimes I feel like “Prommie, the conversation killer.” What did I do? I am so awkward, and always say the wrong thing.

@Promnight: Not you – I zoned out when BBC-A News came on. Probably a lot of other nerds doing the same.

@Promnight: I think our March jam should feature swimsuit shots of our parents or anyone else in our families from an earlier era lookin hawt. My mom and dad each rocked the beachwear in their day.

@Promnight: I think “ass tulip” sort of killed the conversation, darling.

I was a hottie when young. Through various misadventures, I got fat. Then I got back into great shape and realized I was in my late forties, and what difference did it make? So I got old and fat. Maybe I’ll get back in shape again in time to retire and get fat again.

@blogenfreude: My Tante Marie looked like Marjorie Main.

I come from long lines of stout Irish, German, Scottish, and Polish stock. It’s a wonder I’m taller than 5’5″ – I attribute my height to the ’70s pesticides and steroids in the food, and too much calcium. Nobody in my family should be in a bathing suit. Even 20 years ago when I was a lifeguard/member of the college crew team and weighed 35-40 pounds less than I do now, I was not a treat for the eyes in the bathing suit, as no matter what I will look like a player of the WNBA.

@AARPrick @Ewalda:

As a general policy, I do not to seshally harass my fellow Stinquers.

However! I will consent to making exceptions with your permission (and hawt pix).

You psychos and your porn. Car porn. Pron porn. If you cut the crap, I’ll post you some real pron!

@ManchuCandidate: Manchu, that’s the winner. Shirtless, with doggy, and bonus boobies from Joanne for the streyhts amongus.

I wanna be that doggy. Paul’s nipples beg for enlargement at the hands of my lingual and dental ministrations.

Re: Aahnuld. Was always way overdone. Though I must admit I had some fantasy wanks in moments of desperation to the tune of his Terminator-in-Leathers.

@SanFranLefty: You would totally rock as a WNBA playah. Go for it! Better to burn out than fade away. Hey hey, my my.

@FlyingChainSaw: We are a family-friendly site. Translation = I don’t want to put up a post that will get you fired if your boss sees it. Plastic tittays? Sure. Paris Hilton’s chola? Non.

@ManchuCandidate: 8:48 pm wins.

@blogenfreude: I think that’s a fair line to draw, esp for those of us who access Stinque from time to time from the office computadores.

@SanFranLefty: Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to put “FUCK” or “FUCKING” in the header? I also have to be careful that the initial frame that pops up in a video isn’t something NSFW. If it’s NSFW, I want it labeled. I don’t want to create unemployed Stinquers.

/TJ href=”Food Porn”/ Y’all gotta get on board with the wonderoot vegetable that is salsify. Apparently this was a standby in times past, supposedly Thomas Jefferson grew and ate it. Ask for it in your local market. Keep asking for it, maybe it will make a comeback.

I hunted and hunted, put out feelers in all the specialty markets here in Sandy Eggo, and finally found some fresh stuff. Made a soup of salsify, roasted garlic, a tiny mirepoix of potato and carrot…it is divine.

With side-salad of shaved fennel, carrot, julienne tomato, olive, and dill. Heavenly.

@blogenfreude: The kind of pron I was thinking of has no nudity or curses. I am a sensitive new age guy.

@blogenfreude: Um, do you think FCS’s posts, not to mention any of the comment threads, are SFW?

@FlyingChainSaw: I am neither sensitive nor New Age. I deploy my own version of common sense, but I might be off a bit.

@Pedonator: Post content is barely visible over a shoulder. The headers are something else entirely.

@blogenfreude: Me, too. I post nothing that isn’t in the style of a workaday national story in a daily newspaper.

@SanFranLefty: Anyway, what’s wrong with “ass tulip”?

I think it sounds pretty.

@FlyingChainSaw: And that’s admirable. If we were D-Listed, I’d stick that shit in the header. But we’re not. Mostly wage slaves here, I’d guess.

@FlyingChainSaw: Opposite of NSFW.

@blogenfreude: The constant stream of Stormy Bewbie pix above the fold makes it difficult to convince my coworkers, who file past my cubicle regularly, that I am still a committed homosexual. I had to complement a female co-worker on her shoes today just to stay in good graces.

@Pedonator: So it means SnuggyFuzzyWuzzy and NonSnuggyFuzzyWuzzy?

@Pedonator: If anyone can judge women’s shoes, it’s a gay guy. Trust me – I’ve seen it. A gay friend of mine used to go to Blahnik sales to help straight women pick the perfect shoe. Then they went to a sample sale and bought scarves. No shit.

@blogenfreude: My best friend who is a lesbian always used to take me shopping for clothes and shoes, trying to dress me up like a Ken Doll. She’s basically a lipstick lesbian, but still.

That was before I learned how to define my own upwardly-mobile-schlumpy style. No shit.

Also, how about some Stinquey posts about the nefarious shenanigans that Preznident Hopey’s administration has already perpetrated? Like this? I want a fucking explanation. Or at least some good rants/commenting.

The Unicorn seems to be against torture except when he’s covering up for it. FUCK THAT. I can only Hope™ that this was a case of a rogue remnant of the Bush DOJ trying to make it more difficult for the Good and Right Hopey-Hands of Justice.

@FlyingChainSaw: There’s something so pure about a straight tenor trombone. They are beautiful. Too bad the only thing that sounds good on them is “The Nearness of You”.

@Pedonator: Yes, I guess it’s time for the overlords to start posting about the current situation (aka Well And Truly Fucked), and forget the unattractive plastic boobs and enhanced pectorals for awhile.

@Ewalda: Thank you brother. I truly believe that we are fucked. Meet the new Man, same as the old Man. I mean, Obama is clearly slightly better than the alternative, but WTF? when he blatantly goes against the principles he once embraced, now that he is President?

@FlyingChainSaw: Those are some beautiful instruments. But late 40s Epiphone archtops do it for me: (note the way cool DeArmond pickup).

At this point I might could be proud of my country if it renounced torture, for real. And made some attempt at recompense for the dozens or hundreds of hapless helpless incarcerated war-zone-tourists and/or citizens of whatever nation who were swept up in the Pogrom and scurried off to prisons offshore where no court could claim jurisdiction.

It would be nice to think that it couldn’t happen to me, or to my non-citizen-but-legal-resident husband, but after the last eight years, and what has been promised so far from this administration, I’m not holding my breath.

@Dodgerblue: You are a lawyer. What do you think about the state secrets justification, now that Holder is using it to toss out lawsuits before any evidence can come to light?

@Pedonator: @Ewalda: I can’t speak for the other Overlords, but I’m not yet ready to be jerked around by every questionable decision Barry makes. We’ve known since last summer that he’s not going to be the Progressive Savior, but it’s still fair to expect that he’ll bring competence to governing.

Backtracking on the Office of Jeebus was an easy call on a minor issue. He’s not going out of his way to prosecute war criminals; it remains to be seen whether someone else will force the issue, and whether he’ll deliberately bat it down instead of letting the facts fall where they may. And I’m just barely inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt for the moment on State Secrets.

Which is to say: I want to see the patterns emerge before I commence grousing, and that takes a wee bit more than three weeks. The leading indicators are there to be exploited if someone cares to make hash of them, but it’s still too early for me to make the call.

@Pedonator: We’ve had discussions belowstairs about Headline Etiquette. My advice has been to discourage fucking in 22-pixel bold, but not to ban it outright.

The policy is a holdover from CP; whether for reasons of taste or porn blockers, I’m not sure. My take is to save it for really special occasions, when nothing but headline profanity will do.

@Pedonator: @Pedonator: I think it’s widely abused, including in the case that justified it in US law, US v. Reynolds, 345 U.S. 1 (1953), where the gov’t used it fraudulently to prevent the release of info to people suing about the crash of a B-52. It was originally intended to keep from the jury specific items of evidence; now it’s often used to dismiss an entire case before it gets going. But note that the Exec Branch can’t do this alone — they have to get judges to comply. This was not a prob for the Bush Admin lapdogs.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I have done my best to avoid “Two Girls and a Cup” and its spawn. ::shudder::

@blogenfreude: Yes.

@Original Andrew: Mmmmmmm. Viper! My dream is to own a ’67 Stingray. I’d settle for a ’66 Stang, but I stop liking the Stangs when they had racer backs. I like the old ones kind of boxy.

@Promnight: No, no, darling. You’re never a conversation killer. :-*

@blogenfreude: As did my Aunt Ida, AKA Ida Dear. She absolutely HATED Lena Horne. I think it was an envy thing. (You’re still on my list, BTW…)

@FlyingChainSaw: Ack! NSFW! That pic you posted of the Japanese orgy/group sex/whatever almost got me in trouble. Won’t you think of the little people toiling away on their very exposed computers?

@blogenfreude: Thanks! (I’m still not your friend, though.)

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh, you’re talking about the stuff that truly scars the psyche and never leaves your brain. Evil, evil man.

@Dodgerblue: GUITAR PORN! I can get behind that!

Damn, gotta go to work. Will read Pedo’s link to Obama crappidiness when I’m able. Might need some Cat Stick later to lift my spirits.

Have a great day, all! Even you, Blogenfreude.

@nojo: I’ve seen someone get canned for looking at something similar to TMZ or D-Listed. I might “fuck” with a headline on the weekend, but I’d still feel quesy. But you’re right – it has to be an occasion. If Dick Cheney went to prison and got fucked in the ass by a gang of inmates, we’d have to say so.

@nojo: I want to see the patterns emerge before I commence grousing, and that takes a wee bit more than three weeks.

How very old media of you.

@FlyingChainSaw: Darling, I have no idea what that is, and until your post yesterday, I’d never understood the Adkisson Brigades running joke. I literally dopeslapped myself when it clicked. But, Love, all will be right with the world when you marry me. You can explain the way the world works on our wedding night. I need you.

@JNOV: …

(must not let today’s marriage proposal get buried by you chatty people)

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