Paper or Plastic?

via D-Listed:


How the fuck do you touch a piece of plastic “Inappropriately”?

As an aside, I really want to support Stinque, and I buy many books from Amazon, but has anyone ever seen any book they would ever consider buying in that Amazon/Stinque selection?
Joe Torre? You’ve gotta be fuggin’ kiddin’ me.

Oh, now I see there is some animated sequel DVD with Jerry Stiller, the world’s second-least-entertaining man (after Jerry Seinfeld) doing one of the voices. I really need to buy that piece of crap.

@Ewalda: You must be getting different results, they seem to want me to buy a kindle and a “FURminator deShedding Tool”.

I am getting an ad for a record by Gary Burton interpreting Piazzolla’s Libertango and a tome titled, “The Cannibal’s Cookbook: A Survival Guide for the Coming Cannibal Anarchy” by a former Centers for Disease Control scientist.

@Ewalda: Geeze – did somebody key your car today?

I’d throw money their way if they wanted me to buy a bindle and “MASturbator deShedding Tool”

@Ewalda: You don’t have to buy what’s shown. Just click on the text at the bottom “Buy or Die: Amazon kickbacks support Stinque.” It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy whatever you want, and Stinque gets the credit/kickback. I did my very limited holiday shopping this way.

Wait, is this the same case that Nojo posted on After Dark a month ago?

@Mistress Cynica: Oh. I wish I’d known this several hundred dollars ago. I thought you had to buy the crap they were hawking in the ad.
@blogenfreude: You got a problem widdat, pal?

@Ewalda: I mean, I’m in a foul, cynical, bitter mood all the time. If I didn’t have that, I’d probably vaporize. Just not used to it from you.

Seven months of looking for a fucking job takes its toll.

@Ewalda: Yikes. I thought I was in bad shape because my contract job could end at any minute. I’ll shut up now.

@Ewalda: I can’t imagine. Mr Cyn is starting his third month of joblessness and it totally sucks. At least some seasonal part-time stuff is starting to become available, but I’m sure the competition is going to be insane.

@Ewalda: Yeah it does. I’m really glad you’ve kept posting here. Lots of people seeking work – me for one – fall into depression and isolate themselves from friends and family, the exact people who will help you find your next job.

Best of luck to you. I hope the break you need shows up tomorrow. Chances are it will be something completely unexpected.

@Dave H: @Ewalda: Please don’t isolate yourselves. When I got laid off from a job 10 years ago I wanted to crawl under my bed. And if it weren’t for my roommate, my dog, and my roommate’s dog all dragging me out and telling me I didn’t suck, I’d still be there. And think of me as a Black Lab saying “You don’t suck, take me for a walk and send your resume out to 10 people today!”

And Ewalda, gmail me if you want to have lunch next week w/ me and Cynica and (hopefully) Benedick. You too, StringBikini/HoseManikin, if you’re lurking.

I think George Bartusek is just a fine practitioner of the plastic arts.

@Ewalda: Damn. All snark aside, I hope the upcoming stimulus does something for you. Like Dave H says, maybe it will be something completely unexpected — and wonderful.

Yep, that tops the dude whacking off to porn in the library in Cleveland a couple years back in terms of outrageously stupid.

@Signal to Noise: I’m sure he was just desperate for literate porn. Believe me, I know.

@Pedonator: I saw your story. I don’t think it quite applies in the case I was referring to. Just watch.

@Signal to Noise:
I doubt anyone can top the guy in Vancouver around 2000(?) who was caught humping a high school chain link fence near a police car.

@Signal to Noise: Must admit, I was picturing a professorial guy alone in the stacks, wearing a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches, along the lines of Anthony Head (hotness!), glasses askew as he held a book open in one hand, while his other hand, um…

But jacking off to internet porn? Ewwww…. (I mean, in public. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, of course. Some of my best friends, etc.)

@Pedonator: There used to be a special “porn computer” in the SFPL [don’t know if this is still the case], to which librarians would direct patrons who obviously needed some privacy. It was in a quiet corner of the Rare Book Room (!) that was out of heavily travelled areas. Worked just fine for everyone except the poor rare book librarian.

Friday News Dump Preview:

In a report scheduled for release Friday, the Congressional Oversight Panel for the bailout funds found that in some cases the government paid dramatically more than the actual value of the stocks at the time of the transactions.
Financially ailing insurance giant American International Group, deemed by the Treasury Department to be too big to be allowed to fail, received $40 billion from the Treasury for assets valued at $14.8 billion, the oversight panel found.


@Mistress Cynica: Didn’t anyone worry about possible, uh, stains damaging the precious Rare Books?

@Mistress Cynica: I’m shocked, shocked I say, that I and my fellow taxpayers seem to have been caught up in some sort of, of, of — dastardly swindle!

@Signal to Noise:

it’s her dream to eventually earn a Ph.D. in some field involving counseling

Glass houses. Physician heal thyself. Pot-kettle-black. Etc.

This helps explain my irrational fear (phobia?) of psychiatrists and psychologists.

@Pedonator: @Mistress Cynica:

The woman infuriates me so much. Dad taught me not to hit women, but I wonder if he would be pissed off and it would violate the whole spirit of the thing if I could find a woman who would be willing to go smack her for the benefit of humanity.

I will laugh at her when we read about her 5-10 years down the road and at least half those kids are taken away. It’s the only recourse I have against the dumb.

@Signal to Noise: The class sizes are getting bigger in Califor-nigh-ay. Shit, when I was in elementary school in the 70’s, we regularly had 30+ to a class. This woman is just getting started.

She could field her own baseball team. She could lose one and not notice. She could trade a few for a lifetime supply of smokes. What kind of carbon-belching schoolbus will she need to ferry them all to soccer practice and dance class? She could save us all from global warming just by exposing half her brood to the elements on Mt. Whitney. And she’d still have a few to spare for Brangelina to adopt. And toss one or two to Mia Farrow, and she’d still have more than the average US American fambly.

The scary thing is, she’s only in her fucking early thirties. She could supply cannon fodder for the next four wars on her own and still get to Starbucks by 7am. Tomorrow.

@Pedonator: Her uterus ought to be registered as a weapon of mass destruction.

A curious thought follows: why are the stupid people the ones with the dicks and uteri that never falter? I mean, after podling #14, isn’t the damn thing falling out and begging for mercy more than any subject of extraordinary rendition currently in Gitmo?

@Pedonator & @Signal to Noise:

(Ahem) If I may quote the esteemed Jerri Blank, “babies don’t cost money, they make money–especially if the eyes stay blue.”

@Mistress Cynica:

There’s a few billion more reasons to stop paying taxes.

@Ewalda: The Cryptic Geek strikes again!

@Signal to Noise: @Pedonator:

With Jon and Kate Plus Eight, and the Duggers with their 17, 18, 19….kids, well the image of the modern woman as a sowess is tres chic and worth $$$$. What a fucking fool I was to propagate only one. Thinking of overpopulation and quality of life and shit.

Meh, old habits die hard. We humans are hardwired to reproduce at rates sufficient to overcome 70% infant mortality and then random death from various commonplace diseases like measles and polio. In places without social security systems, your children are your retirement, too.

@Prommie: In places without social security systems, your children are your retirement, too.

The Ms. and I have been working out whether to keep putting money into the shitholes that are our kids’ college funds or keep it in our own retirement shitholes. The calculus is that it may be better that they be saddled with debt from student loans rather than having to come over twice a day to change my colostomy bag and steer me around the garden instead of going out and living their own lives.

@Prommie: Having eight fucking fertilized eggs implanted in your womb is not evolutionary biology, it’s pathological (and BTW, who is paying for this shit? I don’t see that the breeder is employed–in fact she’s spent years on disability).

@nabisco: My retirement plan is by Smith & Wesson.

@Mistress Cynica: The California taxpayers have been paying for this shit. No wonder we’re in a $40 billion hole. She was on state disability from a state job for ten years, but her back wasn’t so messed up that she couldn’t have multiple pregnancies. The doctor who implanted her repeatedly should get his license yanked.

The vagina is not a clown car.

@SanFranLefty: The vagina is not a clown car.

Saved me one chore for tonight.

Oh, some vaginas are clown cars, its just that its not babies that keep going in and out of them.

@Mistress Cynica: Hey hey now, she only had 4 implanted, then they all twinned, really. And the fertility clinic that did it is being investigated for ethical violations relating to this. And she’s nuts, crazy, loony tunes, I was not condoning, just forgiving, understanding.

@SanFranLefty: “The vagina is not a clown car.” Brilliant! Comment of the day (at least, maybe of the week or more).

[Oops! I hadn’t seen Nojo’s vote when I wrote this. Clearly I concur with his judgment.]

@lynnlightfoot: I don’t know, I think that baked might have beat the clown car comment with her comment to me on the “Are You Kidding Me?” thread. Check hers out and then vote for COTD. I vote for her.

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