We Want a Pony, and We Want It Now

Is that a carrot in your pants, or are you happy to see me?

Caroline and John-John got a pony, and Jack got rides from Marilyn and Judith, so what’s in it for us? The new, improved White House website, which looks even slicker than the new, improved Pepsi commercials, lists the goodies Preznit Barry will bestow in the years ahead, Cornyn willing.

For one, it mentions Stonewall. By name. That’s almost as shocking as the atheist shout-out.

And while some will fuss over the fine print, the civil-rights bullet points are pretty bold:

  • Support Full Civil Unions and Federal Rights for LGBT Couples
  • Oppose a Constitutional Ban on Same-Sex Marriage
  • Repeal Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell
  • Expand Adoption Rights [for gay couples]

We’re downright fundie about the rights of citizens in our Republic, and we can’t find anything to bitch about there.

On the other hand, we can’t find anything about dropping the War on Drugs, other than a stated preference for rehabilitation over prisons. Although with two dozen major topics, we’re not being exhaustive.

Or maybe we’re just enjoying this too much:

President Obama will keep the broken promises made by President Bush to rebuild New Orleans and the Gulf Coast.

In case Shrub missed the message from the speech: Fuck you.

The Agenda [White House]

W. is blissfully semi-comatose in a ring of empty Chivas bottles and coke spoons and doesn’t give a flying fuck what Hopey sez.

A CNN shithead just asked: “Is the honeymoon over already?”


@AARPrick: He flew back to Crawford to rape, kill, barbeque and eat a six-pack of Philipino pre-teen boys. He is still the soul of the GOP.

I think I ran into one of the few Canadians loathing the Barry Party on the news at a bar (I was meeting someone) last night. He obviously had a hard time with the whole concept that Dems are in charge.

He started bitching about how Obama was so inexperienced and young and was fiscally irresponsible.

I didn’t want to get into a fight then and there, but I jumped in with both feet firmly lodged in my mouth. I proceeded to rip apart W’s entire record.

Final comment that shut him up. “Everything the Repubs were allegedly strong about turned out to be wrong. Defense–they squandered America’s power for nothing. Finance–Wall St Meltdown is really theirs. Fiscal Responsibility–Trillion dollar deficits. Even family values–Whenever it seemed the Repubs advocated stuff like protecting kids, they were really more interested in touching kids.”

Afterwards, awkward blissful silence.

Could it be that the support for Civil Unions is a political riddle? After all a Connecticut Supreme Court already ruled that Civil Union is separate and unequal to Marriage. So we ,yet again have to go to town hall to be a family in the eyes of the state.

So if Unicorn pushes what he knows is unconstitutional it will eventually come to SOTUS. Bit of a gamble that.

@WonkRefugee: As I’ve written before: marriage in the states is meaningless. I’m married but can’t file joint tax or inherit soc sec and many other things. Paterson declared our Canadian marriage to be legal but so what? If we’re driving through Virginia or N Carolina, which we will be doing come June, and we were to get in a wreck and one of us was badly hurt, whichever of us was conscious would have no say in the other’s care. The law has to be federal for it to mean anything.

Also, as before written, I don’t expect to see it happen in my lifetime. Also, given the financial state of the nation, I’m not at all sure it should be at the top of anyone’s list of priorities.

And BTW, what the hell was that on Aretha Franklin’s head? A temporary cell-phone tower? And BTW, not a lot of voice left. And what voice there was howling out that song: can people please sing the notes and the WORDS.

But good to see our tax dollars at work supporting military marching bands which receive more federal money than all funding for the arts combined. During Bush years almost all available theatre money has been given to 4th rate provincial companies to produce 6th rate productions of Shakespeare’s more obvious plays mostly for military bases and schools.

@ManchuCandidate: I like the thought of Canadians getting into brawls over US American politics. I’ve certainly had my dust ups over the Beaver Pelt Treaty of 1831.

@Benedick: The First Lady of Soul will find you and rip your heart out, deep fry it, cover it in confectioner’s sugar and eat it, while wearing that hat, if you cross her.

I only had a problem with the phrasing of the second word in that song. That was a loooong pause between syllables. Enough for me and RomeBoy to look at each other and go OMG!!


Mr. OA and I take photocopies of our wills, medical powers of attorney, financial powers of attorney and living wills with us whenever we travel just in case. Police and medical authorities generally won’t dispute those (unless you’re in fucking Florida, America’s wang).

And the civil rights issues should move up a notch because they would cost so little to implement in comparison to the astronomical amounts needed for well, everything. I read an interview with Barney Frank the other day where he stated that they won’t consider repealing DADT until after the Iraq War is over. Um, ok. I guess they prefer their cannon fodder in the closet.

I’ve been in verbal fights over much much less.

Stupidest of all time was when a verbal disagree nearly turned into a physical dustup over John Woo films.

Note: I was on the “No, he sucks” side.

Ugh. My employer is gonna announce mass layoffs tomorrow. Back to reality after yesterday’s Hopeyness.

@RomeGirl: I understand that the black style is to indicate emotion through vocal decoration, as in the baroque style, and that there is a Sport element – file under Mary Blige – to see which singer can add the most vocal decoration to any given line but it seriously gets up my nose. If the song is worth singing then sing the goddam song. This does not make her a bad person and I have loved, and still do love her. But the hat??!! Was it motorized? But seriously, il voce is not what it was. But then why should it be? She is no longer in her first flush of youth and neither am I. And I suppose it was an entirely appropriate choice. My greater problem was with that entirely inappropriate quartet playing that High Art piece by the Star Wars guy. Not outdoor music at all.

@Original Andrew: I always travel with that stuff, too, but they don’t have to honor it in those states where our kind has been banned. We can hope (that word again) that they might but… The OH and I have to go to Florida on business and as one gets older and, in my case, hotter, it becomes a real issue. Yes, I have hope but, as Tennessee Williams puts it so lyrically, “Things have a way of turning out so badly.

Sorry to hear about lay-offs. I’ll light a candle to the gods of disco that you’ll be spared.

BTW: That pome. Such as. Again, not outdoor material.

nojo You forgot full support for ENDA. Incidentally, there is this little turn of phrase in the ENDA blurb that caught my eye:

….to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.

That last word there is a new one in the lexicon. First it was “sexual orientation,” then “sexual orientation or gender identity.” Expression is a new one. So bears can woof and flaming queens can be Little Miss Thing, girl, all without fear of discrimination.

Listen: the guy who was President yesterday doesn’t even to have the capacity to forumlate the thought of gender expression, much less advocate for anything like it.

In a country where Original Andrew and others have to have a redwall folder filled with papers just to prove their worthiness, this is certainly progress.

I am going to ask those among us who have caught the gay, or those who love those who have the gay — I need to know this: Have you ever been turned away at a crucial moment — in a hospital, for instance — because you were not a spouse, or seen such a thing happen? And what prevented you from grabbing a weapon of some sort (e.g., a hospital-issue spork) and forcing compliance with your humble request to be with the person you love? I want to know what kind of restraint that takes — for all the talk, I’ve never heard of a situation where violence ensued, and am astounded that I haven’t heard of such a thing happening.


Having been through four rounds of layoffs at my previous company–a large financial institution whose management made so many brilliant decisions that they were recently seized by the FDIC and could face charges (cough, cough)–I’ve seen that it’s a terrible situation even if you’re one of the survivors.

My job at my current employer should be safe (fingers crossed). On the one hand, what I do is vital for revenue and there’s no one else at my office who does what I do, but on the other hand my boss doesn’t really understand what I do–I’ve had to explain it to him like eight times–and when micromanaging technocrats don’t understand things they usually cut them–with disastrous results.

Then again, the project I’m working on now is so mind-bending that they might keep me on just to torture me. I guess I’m ok with whatever happens.

@Original Andrew:
That’s been my survival strategy all these years.

Better than sucking up (which I am not good at nor have the enthusiasm for.) A few guys I knew became a senior manager’s “Boy” (not in any sexual sense that I know of) and got heaved out when said senior manager was “retired” or heaved.

@chicago bureau: I’ve never experienced it at first hand. Nor would I tolerate it for one moment. The hospital we use in Kingston is nominally Catholic but we’ve never run into any overt hostility at all. And they list us as each other’s spouse. What concerns me is being at the mercy of some born-againer away from home. An ambulance tech for example. When my mother was in her final illness and was in the hospital I stood at the foot of her bed refusing to allow anyone to use the word ‘cancer’ and demanding to know what all the blood tests were for. And I did OK for her. But what if one isn’t strong enough oneself to do that? And again, it’s not so much at home, here we’re universally known as a couple and have never had any trouble from anyone, it’s the being away. It’s the vacation in Utah. These days I’ll pass on it.

@chicago bureau:

We’ve never been in that situation, thank the FSM, but we’re young and we live in the Seattle Reality Bubble. We do hear the horror stories, though.

Ex: (2006?) There was a lesbian couple who flew to Florida with their kids for a cruise and one of the gals had a stroke or something and had to be taken to the hospital. Once there, the hospital staff informed her partner and their kids that they were “in an anti-gay state” and wouldn’t allow them to see their wife/mother, who died alone in her hospital room even after they had produced their legal docs (wills, powers of attorney, etc.) Needless to say, that hospital is now facing a seven figure lawsuit.

Let’s just say that I’d channel my inner Buffy and wouldn’t wait for our failed legal system to sort that out.

In happier news, do you think that Bush has already given Obama the Presidential Book of Secrets?

@chicago bureau: Yes, it has happened to me and Mr. SFL. We had been together for four years as a couple, but I could not cover him on my health insurance as my domestic partner (though my employer would have covered him if we were same sex, but they refused to cover opposite-sex domestic partners), and my then-boss said “Why don’t you two just get married?” and didn’t understand why we had not gotten married yet out of the principal that some of our dearest friends couldn’t get married. Also I don’t want to get married just for health insurance. I wouldn’t join a club that discriminates against my friends due to their race, religion, or sexual orientation, so why should I join a discriminatory institution. Mr. SFL had to buy individual health insurance that basically covered only catastrophic injuries. We moved back to the Bay Area, where my current employer naturally covered him as my domestic partner.
Fast forward to a year and a half ago, when I was facing a major medical procedure, with Terri Schiavo in the not so distant past. I wrote a medical power of attorney, living will, etc., but realized that my parents could still swoop in and do something against my wishes, and that even though we were at a hospital in the Bay Area that probably would listen to Mr. SFL, we needed that ammunition of him being able to say “my wife” to the doctors and nurses. So I asked my favorite gheyz for their blessings for us to marry, one said “Of course you guys should get married so he can pull the plug,” and came with us to City Hall and was our Maid of Honor/ witness. I returned the favor for him and his husband this summer and was his Maid of Honor/ witness at City Hall. So that’s the story of how Mr. SFL and I got married.

Original Andrew: The fact that you are unsure about the date testifies to the rarity to publicized cases — so I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that this is rare.

But the inner violence that takes place. Benedick can’t go skiing in Utah if he wants to. (Not to say that he would go skiing — his aversion to Sport* is well known here.) A spring training trip to Florida (yes, more Sport) is out, because you are. Etc.

Forget the whole “if I, Chicago Bureau, a straight man, went to Vegas” crap. Suppose you see two human beings. One is stricken in pain. The other wants to be with him. You, in what passes for wisdom, tell him that it is forbidden — that he is forbidden. Quote me any Bible verse you like. You, in that situation, would be a total asshole. Period, paragraph, chapter.

* — I know, I know: Benedick’s aversion to Sport goes towards spectator sports and the culture of U.S. America that worships it. Fine. I was just trying to lighten things up. Also: it’s sports. Plural. So there.

SanFranLefty: “Of course you guys should get married so he can pull the plug….”

That might be the funniest thing I have heard since… well… last night’s Daily Show, in which Jon Stewart empathized with Gene Robinson about his inability to move through crowds in D.C. on account of only being able to move diagonally, and the Bishop coming back with a stupendous punchline.

But still: your friends can bring the funny. Awesome.

@chicago bureau: Darling. It’s ‘Sport’. As in – state of mind.

Skiing? Are you mad? Despite its flouncy aspects I don’t see myself on a pair of skis. When I was in SLC I rode a ski lift up to the top of one of the chief runs. Which was beautiful apart from all the butchness and heavy-metal from the sporty types. Useless factoid: In Olde High Limey it is pronounced ‘shee-ing’. Also ‘golf’ is pronounced ‘goff’ or ‘gofe’. Those wackey Brits.

Despite SFL’s touching tale (I smell a musical. We’ll talk rights in Feb) the same-sex medical dilemma is a slight red herring I think. Yes, one does read of horrible examples but they are becoming increasingly rare. I worry about it up to a point. I find myself more concerned about kids who get beaten up by their parents and congregations in efforts to ‘cure’ them. Shame is easily caught and internalized and does much damage. That’s why I was so appalled by the choice of Rick Warren – and BTW what a preposterous ‘speech’; has the man ever read the Bible? Talk about J Roberts getting the oath wrong, Warren misquoted the psalm! – because he and others of his ilk do so much harm. Things are getting better. And the goodwill of people such as yourself and SFL does much to speed the process.

Now I have to go to the periodontist. Today I discovered that the dental ‘insurance’ for which I pay costs more, after fees and deductibles, than if I simply paid the bills myself. That’s my first priority: Health Care For All.

@WonkRefugee: I’d rather they wait to let a few of the conservatives on SCOTUS keel over first.

Benedick: No need to go into the details — for, in essence, there aren’t any — but romance, for me, is nothing but a spectator sport. And I love bashing the refs when they make a bad call. It’s a kind of release.

Seriously: goodwill from me (and voting and writing and protesting) ain’t gonna get the job done. But thanks to the bastards at the Blackhawks game who gave a guy in the row in front of me a million bucks on Monday night, but did not give it to, um, ME, I am not in a position to finance a revolution. So goodwill is all I have to give. Sorry.

(Incidentally: see what I did up there? Spectator sports, a spectator sport. Simple, really. But anyway.)

@chicago bureau: You just made the Lefty’s original line exponentially funnier. My keyboard and coffee curse you.

We got married for the green card (only kidding Sec. Chert….oh, that’s right!).

@benedick: don’t get me started on health care costs. I haven’t changed my spectacles in more than four years because my gold-plated insurance only pays something like $50 of the cost of $400 lenses for this increasingly four-eyed ‘bisco.

@chicago bureau: When my best friend’s partner collapsed with a heart attack in OK, the [Catholic] hospital at first was giving him a hard time, until he called our priest, who was Dean of the Episcopal Cathedral. The Dean arrived, had a word with the head Sister, and Bob’s your uncle. At least they got to be together when his partner died. When I accompanied said best friend to the same hospital 4 years later, I looked the nurses in the ER straight in the eye and said I was his daughter. Then I called the Dean. In short, if you’re at home, where you know people, you’ll probably be OK. Otherwise, if you’re in fundie-land, you’re probably screwed. BTW, if gay parents are driving with their children through OK and have an accident, the state will take their children away from them into state custody.

@nabisco: My policy isn’t too bad for eye care. If I don’t go more than every two years I can get free frames and basic lenses. And my basic care is better than many others. I get prescription drugs, for instance. But the money I pay for it is a tax levied for the benefit of the insurance companies. Money that is taken out of the general circulation.

@chicago bureau: Believe me, goodwill counts for a LOT.

Am reading The Ascent of Money which I’m finding fascinating. I never knew before that banks regard the money they hold on deposit as a liabilty and that debt is an asset. It’s a very good read.

@Benedick: I don’t know if it’s a red herring. For the people who go through it, it’s real. And it’s insurance coverage and inheritance rights that is the really big issue. One of my ghey mafia’s partner has written his will to explicitly say that he wants to leave everything to my friend, but the partner’s siblings and nieces and nephews have already made it clear that when/if the time comes, they will contest the will. Lovely.

@Mistress Cynica: Because OK has such a fabulous foster care system, what with it completely overburdened with the children of tweakers and meth-cookers being supervised by social workers who make just above minimum wage.

Man, getting up to find no coffee in the house was not the way to start the brand new day.

Back from Wal-Mart where I went to return my biodegradable BBs for my Airsoft machine gun (fucking things are too light to feed properly) and pick up some Starbucks, Tums and asprin to treat a self-inflicted head wound where I saw an Obama “Yes We Can” poster where the kids will see them by the school supplies. Over by the checkout stand they had a bin of three Obama posters, including a Rolling Stone cover. I know they’d stock anything that would make a buck, and maybe because Santa Fe is deep blue, but I thought it was pretty cool. Some kid will be able to go home from Wally’s with a bit of Hope for the bedroom wall.

Had some people over last night (Sunday night also for the concert) toasting the new administration and rehashing the last few days. The holidays are now over. The bar is depleted except for a lone bottle of merlot on top of the fridge. What a year it’s been.

@Mistress Cynica: My brother’s ex-wife was Commanche. He used to hate going to Oklahoma and dealing with the racist pigfuckers there. We have an Osage friend who likes it there, but it’s home for her and her little son.

@SanFranLefty: What about setting up a revocable trust that becomes irrevocable when one partner dies, and transferring all their assets to it now, with the partners as co-trustees? Also helps out with inheritance taxes. Don’t know California law, but that’s how we did it in OK.

@SanFranLefty: Red herring was not the correct expression: it’s part of a whole constellation of rights that are denied same-sex couples. And going state by state does almost nothing to help – unless one works for said state. I suspect that inheritance is the issue that affects most long-term couples for the very reasons you give. That is a common occurrence. Just recently my much-loved agent died leaving his partner of 50 years a brownstone in mid-Manhattan worth millions. (Bought during urban blight times for a merish pittance). It took him a couple of years, in a liberal state, to prove that their union existed. This meant going to tax depts with personal letters, photos, etc. The OH and I have made a sizable gamble on which of us will die first and arranged our modest wills accordingly.

The hospital issue is the one that catches most of the attention – and it’s real, however, after a few sizable legal payouts hospitals are much more careful – but it’s one issue among many. Perhaps that’s a better way to phrase it.

@RomeGirl: Re the second word of Aretha’s performance: I hope you catch last night’s Daily Show.

@Benedick: That was a headdress. I liked it at once. African women and African-American women and, once upon a time, all American women of a certain age, in short ladies the world over, used to appear in public only after consideration of the appropriate millinery for the particular occasion and careful donning of same. One never sees Queen Elizabeth bareheaded on public occasions. The Queen of Soul preserves the same dignity.

There have been a zillion and a half crazy libtard protests in DC, every day for the last 8 years, with drums and crazy carnival big-head costumes and shrieking earnest shit-for-brains of every description, and what did the press do? Ignore them all, completely and totally.

But now we have a democratic president, so now, all of a sudden, every nutjob libtard group thats unhappy with anything, anywhere in the world, its front page news. “Hey look, their are lefties who are unhappy with their lefty president, its dissension in the ranks,” goes the narrative, whereas lefties protesting a nazi president, well, thats not news, everyone knows lefties hate nazis.

That is all.

Oh, and Rupert Murdoch sent cocaine to himself in the mail, or something.

@chicago bureau: I almost found God after Da Bishop’s comeback — not just the line, but the timing. Dude was fast.


[Bishop Gene breaks into room]

Bishop: OK, Rick Warren! Don’t move!

Rick Warren: The Bishop!!

[fast-paced rock/horn combo intro music]

DEVELOPING HARD: Timothy Geithner used TurboTax to do his taxes. That explains everything, yet explains nothing at the same time. (Small gong sounds in distance.)

Ten bucks says he closes the hearing by offering to release Chuck Grassley from his training if he can grab the stone from his open hand.

@nojo: “Fucking online free version . . .”

@chicago bureau:

Oh Jeebus, really? Dude makes a zillion dollars and he’s too cheap to hire a freakin’ CPA? That says more about his lack of judgement than any back taxes owed.

@lynnlightfoot: I know that, and given her size it’s correct to balance the rest of her – also couldn’t have a brim because it would interfere with mics, etc – I just thought it somewhat distracting in its design.

@Benedick: I’m afraid I have to agree with Lynn: The Queen of Soul could sport a pigeon, and I’d still love her.

And let’s acknowledge her Service to America: She quickly dispatched the bad taste of Pastor Doublewide.

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