I did a little research last night, and I believe I have found the prototypical PUMA.  Note the barely-concealed rage, the tendency towards conspiracy theories, and the manner of dress:

As for the playoffs: Winners today will be Baltimore and Arizona. Tomorrow: New York and Pittsburgh. I am either going to be right on the money, or spectacularly awfully deeply wrong.

Pregame coverage starts at 3:30 pm EST on CBS.  Are you ready for some football?


It’s tough to beat this for a thread topic. Not that we stay on topic for long here. I have a p0ker game tonight and so will miss the second game. I’m really looking forward to the Eagles/Giants game tomorrow. Plus (off topic already) going out with Mrs. DB for our 27th anniversary. Woo hoo!

Baltimore, Carolina, New York, Pittsburgh.

I will especially enjoy the last one. Fuck Philip Rivers in his ass-face. Why? Just because.

And this PUMA is especially testy.

I’m rooting for the Pittsburgh Pansies vs the Seattle Sissies. Not to mention the Oklahoma Homos vs Florida Faygelehs.

@Dodgerblue: Happy 27th. Midway between the Silver and Pearl Anniversaries. Otherwise known as the Electronics Anniversary.

@Dodgerblue: Happy Anniversary! I’ve never had a relationship that made it 5 years, but I hope this will be the one that lasts. Mazel tov to you and Mrs DB.
@bloggie: I’m a bit disappointed that your devotion to PUMA posts hasn’t resulted in more trolls to torture, but I haz Hope ™.

What? You say Battlegeek and 24 and Conchords are returning this weekend?

Oh, that’s next weekend. Carry on.

Doesn’t anybody else have the stones to pick this weekend’s playoffs? C’mon. I’ll go even further – Giants and Steelers in Stupor Bowl. So there.

@blogenfreude: Darling, I have no idea who’s playing. Anyone want to live blog the red carpet at the Golden Globes on Sunday? My money’s on Kate Hudson for most hideous dress. She’s on a roll.

A thread topic never seen before.

As for the playoffs, I’ll take the JennforHillarys over the Murphys. It’s like the Dallas line (not blow) during the Emmett Smith era.

I’d love to see KO or Rachel do some follow-up interviews with the PUMAs just to rub a little salt in the wounds. Maybe asking them how they felt about Hillary’s drinking buddy McCain losing in the most lopsided presidential election in decades. They could ask if the PUMAs could explain why both Florida and Michigan voted for Obama. Or possibly asking how they think Hillary will perform as Secretary of State for the next eight years. My guess is you can now find both the real PUMAs and the Aryan Barbie doll faux-PUMAs all over at Team Sarah.

Now that the Colts are through for the year and since the despised Patriots and Cowboys are sitting out the playoffs it doesn’t matter to me who wins. I’ll take Tennessee as a sympathy pick to finally put to rest their many failures as the Houston Oilers.

What are the goals against?

Er, what? NFL? Damn.

@Mistress Cynica: Anyone want to live blog the red carpet at the Golden Globes on Sunday? My money’s on Kate Hudson for most hideous dress. She’s on a roll.

Are you sure you’re not a man?

@ManchuCandidate: Think of it this way. The Ravens (MD) are playing the Titans (TN) right now. If you want Bush voters (TN) to be humiliated by a blue state (MD), you know what you have to do. So fire up the bigscreen and root for the Ravens to spank the fucking Titans!

@Benedick: I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, so was I, for a while! Longest nine months of my life.

ManchuCandidate: Oh, a hockey fan. Hugz. (Greatest thing evah — the NHL Network now simulcasting Hockey Night in Canada. I now get to see Don Cherry make an ass out of himself — in high-def!)

Bonus — I was deposing a hockey fan yesterday. So we talked hockey a bit at the breaks. Unfortunately for him, he was not only a hockey fan, but also a numbskull. It was a good dep.

@Mistress Cynica: Thank you. No one is more surprised than I. My previous record was 2 years. As to the Golden Globs, as they are called in my house, the red carpet is our fav part. As an added benefit, Mrs. DB stopped bugging me about buying a big honkin’ HD TV the first time she saw the Oscars red carpet on HD. Hooya.

@Dodgerblue: May I add my congrats, and a huge “ewww” to the last thought you posited on the previous thread. I almost threw up my recession-tuna noodle casserole on that one.

@Signal to Noise: I’m picking the Iggles to upset the Giants (although I don’t really think it will happen). Then the Steelers v. Iggles in the Turnpike Bowl.

Giants v Steelers will be a better draw, and we need lots of people see James Harrison muss up that pretty pretty Manning boy.

ADD: the vid is awesome. “A typical Obama election”…sounds like my mother, who is a batshit crazee republican (but who I love very much – Hi Mom!)

@nabisco: If the iggles play the way they did the last two times, they will kill the Gints. But the iggles, play that well three times in a row? They are vulnerable, too, think of how many moths and other insects might fly into McNabb’s mouth as he walks around on the sidelines. Their coach, Fatty Arbuckle, his braincell is gonna short from all the pressure of the playoffs, too. Also.

I am a confirmed Cardinals fan. Kurt’s career is the only real miracle story in football, mopping floors in Home Depot and marrying the christian stripper and everything. Their average home attendance is what, 47? I am rooting for them big time.

@nabisco: I have sympathy for the Eagles because I like McNabb a bunch, but their fat fuck walrus of a coach can go die in a fire (fantasy football anger.) I just….the Iggles have no receivers at all.

@blogenfreude: your stones are bigger than the rest of ours right now, because that Arizona prediction’s gonna come true absent a total second half collapse. The KW-1300 Cybernetic Quarterback is executing its programming properly, in between kneels and prayer to Robot Baby Jesus.

And Daryl Johnston, the color commentator on Fox, is a walking fashion crime. White shirt with tan stripes, brown checked suit, and a blue tie with polka dots. Oof.

TJ: I just watched “Superbad” for the first time. Fantastic mindless teen comedy. Seth Rogan is a genius. Its about us, or some of us, the geeks and nerds. Its the best teen comedy since Animal House, 30 plus years ago, the Gold Standard for teen comedies. Since then, nothing has come close, the best was maybe American Pie. But this one did it, I loved it like I love Animal house.

My favorite line; Seth is bemoaning his virginal state and panicking about getting laid before graduation. His freind tries to comfort him saying he will be getting laid all the time in college. But Seth is not comforted, he believes that High School is for practicing so you get good at sex before you get to college. He doesn’t want to get to college and be embarrassed by his lack of experience. He says “it would be horrrible to get to college and have people find out you suck dick at fucking pussy.”

“Suck dick at fucking pussy.” Genius.

@Mistress Cynica:
Perhaps the fact that I’m a dyke trapped in the body of a man explains why I’m so attracted to you.

There is no such thing as a good teen comedy.
Animal House sucks.
Superbad sucks.
They ALL suck.
Think about it. These are not your stories.

@Dodgerblue: Happy Anniversary to you and Mrs. DB! That’s terrific.
@blogenfreude: Please stop with the PUMAs. I beg you. They scare me. I don’t need more nightmares than I already have.
@Mistress Cynica: Golden Globes? Already? I’ll probably be there, they’re fun to watch for the lack of sobriety and on-camera alcohol consumption.

@Dave H: “I’ll take Tennessee as a sympathy pick to finally put to rest their many failures as the Houston Oilers.

While part of me thinks that is a sweet idea, as a native Texan I have to say fuck the Titans and their greedy owner who took the Oilers out of Texas. I’m just annoyed by all the team movement and expansion teams. Maybe I’d be less bitter if the Houston expansion team had been able to rename themselves as the Oilers, a la the Browns 2.0. Just for fidelity to home towns and fans, I’m a sucker for Green Bay, even though I’ve been to Wisconsin three times for a total of about a week and a half, and it was to Madison plus one day in Milwaukee, neither of which apparently count as “real” Wisconsin.

DEVELOPING HARD: Rachel has entered the Pantheon. SNL treatment, babies. Interviewing Burris (pathetic wanna-be covert-ops senator) and Blago (defiant, gratuitously homophobic).

T/J re: Vox Stinque

Hasn’t the Pope already been outed? The Prada hand-mades, the dishy aide, the LaCroix wardrobe, the wall-eye, etc

Re: Golden Globes – Root for my Santa Fe homeboy Kirk Ellis, who wrote the John Adams HBO mini-series.

@redmanlaw: I don’t know who’s listed for what, but I have the John Adams opening credits on my iPhone. I’m a sucker for faux Copland with ratty waving flags.

@Promnight: I don’t generally dig teen comedies, and certainly don’t count “Animal House” among them. The coming-of-age movie I can best relate to is “To Kill a Mockingbird,” but that’s pretty far afield.

@Dave H: I’ll take Tennessee as a sympathy pick to finally put to rest their many failures as the Houston Oilers.
No. Hell no. Hay-El No! and Neh-fucking-vah! Bud Adams will go to his grave without a Super Bowl win.

@Promnight: And one of those 47 fans is my gay BFF whose lets me tag along with him to at least a couple of home games every year. Of course, I am not expecting to be invited to go with him to the NFC title game due to my lack of penis. Go Cardinals!

@Promnight: I think you and I may be the only stinquers with an appreciation of Animal House and Superbad.

@Signal to Noise: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose!!!!

@mellbell: Oh, this is not at all about coming of age. These movies I love are nerd revenge fantasies, Nerds getting their moment in the sun.

@Jamie Sommers: I live in the intellectual side of life, my reading, 90 percent of the movies I watch, my thoughts, more than half the time. I watch more subtitled movies than anyone In know, I love french movies (fuck “cinema”), the only thing I don’t like about subtitled movies is that I can’t read a book at the same time and keep up by listening.

But I loooove to wallow in the gutter, at times, and Superbad is a very enjoyable gutter.

@Promnight: Superbad is brilliant for about 30 minutes, and then not-so-brilliant. Many of these contemporary comedies, I wish they’d just develop the premise for 90 minutes and skip the plot entirely.

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