Schlong Gobbling Senator Larry Craig Drops Appeal to Reverse Plea in Bathroom Man-Sex Soliciting Case

So, is it safe to go out and buy sneakers along the Bo-Wash corridor? Cause I’m running on cardboard flats at this point….

WTF is it with holding up the seating of the sad sack, but apparently adorable Smurf Roland Burris but not having the stones to have kicked Craig out on his closeted-and-in-public-denial ass?

@nabisco:
Repubs live in a fantasy world where they are the only ones who are strong, beautiful and wise thus any real flaw (in this case Larry’s comical denial of his true sexuality) is ignored or glossed over.

Senate Demrats are innately afraid of taint, Blago or not, and will do anything to avoid it (see Iraq war vote.)

Look out for memoir It Ain’t Gay if You Don’t Swallow with touching blurbs by Regis Philbin and Jason Statham.

The Bathroom Goblin – we may never see his like again. And Bob Allen? Gary Aldridge? Where are the GOP hypocrites, perverts, and kid touchers of the future? This need must be met.

@Benedick: Mmmmmmm…Jason Statham. He doesn’t have to swallow or do any of the grunt work. And he can say he is as straight as an arrow. I won’t mind one bit.

He’s getting his pension?? Thank FSM I don’t pay taxes.

This calls for a song. “Oh, Larry Craig is completely heterosexual…”

@nabisco: No, it’s not safe. Craig will be at large, getting a pension that is four times the average income for families in the US with no obligations to be anywhere – but in the aisle at KMart waving his tongue at men trying to buy sneakers, or the men’s bathroom in the Applebee’s shuffling after men on his knees, grunting beseechingly and pointing to his open mouth. No, you best not shop, travel or eat at restaurants until this menace has been taken off of the streets.

@homofascist: I am hearing the rumblings of a major new butt-secks scandal coming down the pike involving a celebrity evangelical minister, the guest house behind his mansion and a ‘close male friend’. No I don’t know who it is but I’m living in hope for Rick Warren.

@Benedick: Excuse me? This is my specialty. I need details. Send an email if prudence is required. FCS and I will handle it from there.

@Benedick: Please let it break before the inauguration. I’ve got the Armenian Orthodox Metropolitan on tap to offer to the inauguration committee and he promised he would pray for strength so he can resist pawing at or biting Michelle Obama’s delicious derriere during the ceremony.

@blogenfreude: @FlyingChainSaw: Not that I ever read such gossip sites but here is an opening shot. Money seems to be on Joel Osteen whose gayface can be seen here.

Oh please, oh please…!

@Benedick: Damn – I can’t fucking stand him. That sanctimonious nonsense when he’s interviewed, and that fugly wife who misbehaves on planes. Oh please – this would be better than Ted Haggard.

@blogenfreude: Ou sont les perverts de l’autretemps?

@blogenfreude: I’m on my knees right now.

@Benedick: Oh, I SO want that to be full of truthiness. I can’t stand Osteen and I already have a list of RW relation that I’m ready to gloat to if this is true. Bring on the Manuary Surprise!

@Benedick: Wow, I dunno about gayface but it looks like you could hurt yourself on his wife’s hair.

“It seemed as if a guy could not go out and buy a pair of sneakers without Craig popping up and begging to gobble his schlong.” This is why I like to shop on Amazon.com.

@Dodgerblue: So you are closer to your online porn?

Don’t knock BJs from guys. There are a lot worse things that can happen to you.

@homofascist: I think the recent rash of PUMA posts have proved that pretty positively.

@Benedick: I saw one of Obama’s new appointees referred to as “aggressively gay-faced.” It made me lol, because I’d never heard the term before.

@homofascist: Busted!
Yes. Sex of any kind with Hillary would be one of them.