Yes, You Heard That Right

Everybody’s favorite op-ed scold, Nicholas “PAY ATTENTION TO AFRICA YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS” Kristof, wrote today with respect to remaking the Department of Agriculture into a more consumer/small-farm friendly outfit than it is now, without so much influence from Big Corn et al.  A worthy topic — which, of course, turns into his usual vigorous defense of how wonderful he is. (Did you know, for instance, that he grew up on a farm in Oregon? And gives to charities? Wow!)

But there was this:

The most powerful signal Mr. Obama could send would be to name a reformer to a renamed position. A former secretary of agriculture, John Block, said publicly the other day that the agency should be renamed “the Department of Food, Agriculture and Forestry.” And another, Ann Veneman, told me that she believes it should be renamed, “Department of Food and Agriculture.” I’d prefer to see simply “Department of Food,” giving primacy to America’s 300 million eaters.

No. This is too good. THIS MUST HAPPEN. What on earth would the Department’s official seal look like? A close-up of a guy preparing to chomp into a turkey leg, surrounded by thirteen stars? And I’ve always been clamoring for the naming of an Undersecretary of BBQ Best Practices, which would be the best government position ever created.


Did you know, for instance, that he grew up on a farm in Oregon?

Yes, of course, since the farm was in Yamhill County, home of the McMinnville News-Register (and Turkey Rama!), where Nicky was a high-school stringer a few years before I got there.

What I didn’t know until a moment ago is that Nicky’s a day older than me. Way to put my wasted life into perspective.

@nojo: For the first time, the POTUS is younger than I am (by 9 months). Face it, we’re losers.

@CB: let the ugly vinegar-mustard-tomato-based BBQ wars begin. Will there be deputy undersecretaries for each regional sauce?

@Mistress Cynica:
Hey, I’m partial to the Terriyaki school of BBQ sauces (obvious bias here.) The less tomato paste the better.

Ann Veneman? The Bushite who believes that BSE (mad cow dis) is only from Canada City? The same one who feels that the best food regulations are none? Gaahhhh.

Not a bad idea to put the boots to ADM and ConAgra. Thanks to the flailing economy, the amount of free resources these guys have to spend on lobbyists is diminishing.

Maybe you guys will put real sugar in Coke once again instead of Sweet Corn Plastic, er, syrup.

I’ve always thought it was stupid to have the US Forest Service in the Department of Agriculture. It really should be in Interior and perhaps consolidated with the Bureau of Land Management.

@nojo: @Mistress Cynica: Don’t forget, kids, that if you’re happy with your life, it’s not been wasted. It’s pretty futile to compare yourself with other people, because you’d probably hate being them.

@redmanlaw: The Forest Service is in the Ag Department for good reason. Mainly because we’ll all be eating tree bark very, very soon for sustenance.

@nojo: @Mistress Cynica: What IanJ said. We Stinquers love you. It’s a select group that enjoys our high regard.

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