Zoo Poo Rules Yule

Let’s work through this together. Seems there’s a zoo in Bloomington, Illinois, that came up with a novel holiday gift: Reindeer shit.

Staffers make decorations out of droppings from the zoo’s two reindeer, Ealu and Rika. The droppings are dried, then clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter.

They call it “magical reindeer gem ornaments,” although if you contemplate Santa sitting behind nine ornament factories at supersonic speed, a better name might be “Shit on a Kringle.”

Which was enough to amuse us for awhile, until we got to wondering: What kind of mind does it take to come up with something like this?

Blame it on the zoo director’s granny:

It seems that back in the early 1900s, his grandmother would take chocolate drops and sprinkle them around so the children in the family would think that reindeer had really visited.

Which, upon consideration, disturbs us even more than hanging crap in your tree. You do not want to get the kids in the habit of eating shit.

Zoo creates ornaments from reindeer dung [AP/Chicago Tribune]

We Illinoisans are a crafty bunch of shits. I am always taking all the fucking shit I get at work and trying to turn it into something creative in return. It’s why we can share our Hope ™ with the world.

Why not? We’ve had a glitter-coated piece of shit for President for the last eight years.

Well, that puts somewhat of a damper on my plans to seek employment at the State Department, but what are you gonna do?

“Shit on a Kringle.” I missed that. plus 1.

@mellbell: I’m lonely. But then I have always been. What was the Vonnegut book with someone who runs for office with a slogan “Lonely No More?”

@mellbell: I refused to do any work over the four day weekend and now am paying the price.

@mellbell: The overlords are caught up in Hillary Fever?

Paris Palin. I just made that up. Three months too late. Did anyone ever come up with that one? Now I am gonna have to live in that Seinfeldf episode where George is waiting for an opportunity to use his line. Damn. I hate Seinfeld.

@mellbell: Lingering trypto-whatever, I guess — I have a tip from RML that’s ideally suited for Bloggy or FCS, but I can’t rouse either of them. Might have to work it up myself, although I’m not the best writer for it.

@nojo: Oh I hope it has something to do with our Comforter in Chief, because the transcript of that interview could keep the lot of you at the keyboard for weeks.

@nojo: Just post a brief reference to it here, as a comment right here, Bloggy will pick it up and post it within a half hour, trust me.

Defendant’s first appearance in death of my cousin Willie Tenorio: $250k cash or property bond, remain in Santa Fe County, electronic monitoring, etc. His family has enough property for him to get out at some point, however, pending his preliminary hearing on felony charges or presentation to the grand jury. If it were my case, I’d go for the grand jury so as to avoid any pesky evidentiary objections from the *cough* “alleged” killer. My law school buddy/bass player in law school band appeared on behalf of the State of New Mexico. Small world out here.

@redmanlaw: Glad to hear he won’t be going too far anytime soon. Did the court order him to also surrender his passport?

@SanFranLefty: Yup, and he got the e-monitoring, don’t go no where, don’t talk to nobody conditions plus the “sober-meter.” The arrogant fuck and his mouthpiece tried to say that dude should be permitted to travel to see his daughter down in Albuquerque and to do some work on his contracts with the state. I should have give the defense a pitch pipe to commorate their tone-deaf presentation today. The local ABQ stations (KOB, KOAT, KGGM) may have yesterday’s statement delivered by my cousin’s daughter.

@redmanlaw: I was withholding judgment till all the facts were in. No excuse, just drunk blazing through downtown? Thats harsh bail conditions, the kind we see around here only for a serious flight risk. Attempting to flee the scene is a flight risk factor, so is wealth, or are your courts harsher on these matters?

@Promnight: Well, an’ (allegedly) killin’ someone. Vehicular homicide w/DWI will get you $250k bond pretty much routinely here in New Mexico. The outliers are $25 k for a dead Navajo in racist-ass San Juan County, and $500 k where a Hispanic guy kilt a green-livin newcomer white woman (stupidly) riding her bike in a narrow road with no shoulders who lived in the affluent east side foothills of Santa Fe and worked at some hoity toity institute. Dude had no high priced representation, was petty much caught in the act, and did take responsibility for what he did. He’s now serving 12 years, which is generally cut in half as “good time” if you don’t kill someone in the joint.

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