Stinque the Inauguration!

Hey all you Stinquers! Come to D.C. for the Unicorn’s Inauguration and see history in action while hanging out with other cynical stinques. Inauguration is Tuesday, January 20, 2009, for those of you who haven’t had 1/20/09 as a bumper sticker for the past 5 years. Monday is a holiday (MLK Day, appropriately), so you don’t even have to miss as much work.

We’re trying to get a rough idea of how many people might be coming so we can figure out venue for post-Inaugural festivities. So read on past the jump for more details on how to get to DC, where to stay, and feel free to share your initial snarky thoughts in the comments. If you are thinking of coming, email your Inaugural Weekend Planning Team at unicorn [at]

By your Stinque Inaugural Weekend Planning Team
(baked, JNOV, MellBell, Nabisco, and SanFranLefty)

Getting to DC:
If you’re planning to fly to DC, book it NOW and expect to pay a surcharge for flights in to National, Dulles, or BWI.

To save money, consider flying into other airports on the Eastern Seaboard (Richmond, Philly, NYC-area airports) and taking Amtrak to DC.

Staying in DC:
The most flea-bitten of crack-ho hotels that FlyingChainsaw can recommend are charging a minimum of $400/night. We can provide a list of our favorite hole in the wall hotels and fancier ones, but advise that they may already be sold out.

If you have any friend or family member in DC, hit them up now to reserve their couch or spare bedroom.

If you don’t know people in DC, or you’re interested in sharing a hotel room with fellow visitors, email us and we can try to match up people. We may also be able to use some of our DC connections to find sofas or floors for you and yours. Serious inquiries only!

There is a free-market springing up on Craigslist for home swaps or for room rentals in private homes. As always, caveat emptor.

A new website called has sprung up to facilitate rentals of private rooms and house trades. We have no idea if it’s legit – just saw it mentioned in a news article.

Tickets to the Parade:
Good luck. Contact your member of Congress and Senator. Or do what the locals do, go to the Mall for the swearing in, and then go to your favorite watering hole or friend’s house to watch the parade on teevee.

Our Inaugural Drinking Jam/Ball/Party:
It’s hard for the planning committee to plan anything without having a rough idea of numbers. We could try to actually reserve a room at a dive bar if we know there will be a critical mass.

In order to gauge interest and attendance, please do the following:

If you want to come to DC, or are thinking about coming to DC for the inauguration, send an email to unicorn [at] with the subject line: 1/20/09

In the body of the email, cut and paste the following questions with your answers:

• Are You In or Out?
__ I am SOOO coming to the Inauguration (if marked, go to Housing)
__ I really want to come but I’m worried about
       __ how to get to DC (if marked, see above “Getting to DC”)
       __ where the hell to stay (if marked, go to Housing)
__ If I had a sugar daddy or sugar mommy I’d be there
       __ I can’t afford airfare from where I live
       __ I have a job without vacation time
__ Bitches, I have a life and family and jobs and live miles away and I can’t come to DC

• Housing
__ I have a place to stay.
__ I have possible leads on a place to stay.
__ I don’t want to sleep under a bridge. Help me!
       __ I am willing to share a hotel room with someone else.
              __ I need my own bed, though.
              __ I will sleep on the floor in a hotel room if that makes it cheaper.
       __ I’m willing to sleep on a stranger’s couch or spare bedroom.
__ Fuck it, I’ll sleep in my car.

• Official Inaugural Events
__ I want to go to a fancy official formal inaugural ball with Stinquers.
__ Fuck that, I’ll save the 100 bucks for more booze at a bar with all of you.

• Inaugural Events
__ I want to attend the swearing in with Stinquers.
__ I want to figure out how to get tickets to the Parade.
__ Fuck the parade, I want to go start drinking with Stinquers.
__ Fuck the swearing in and parade, I want to go drinking with Stinquers.
__ Did I mention I want to go drinking with my fellow Stinquers?


I would so love to be there but there is no fucking way. Raise a glass or 20 for me!

It’s worse than that housing wise. The grimiest shithole I could recommend in downtown DC has been sold out for more than 9 solid weeks. Who knows what happened after the election was called for Obama. I have a place in Alexandria at the home of a former colleague who ended up as a federal mandarin.

As far as events go, I have no idea. Check out who’s marching the inaugural parade and see if you can borrow a uniform and play it – if they’re short on musicians carrying your instrument for the gig.

I do suggest you skip the hotel step as they are likely all filled and go straight to hostel listings (if they take reservations) and to friends and friends of friends in the area within striking distance of the (generally reliable) Metro.

@FlyingChainSaw: I have a bad feeling about Metro on Inauguration Day. I’ve never done the whole July 4th on the Mall thing, but that would seem to be the closest analogue, and it’s a goddamn nightmare from what I hear.

@mellbell: On a good day, driving in DC is something out of a science fiction movie. See you on the Metro.

@mellbell: My parents took us to July 4th on the mall in 1976, and I recall that it wasn’t so bad.

I can’t come because of the project I’m – January is crunch month for a production in Feb. I’ll probably even be working inauguration day. Sigh.

@FlyingChainSaw: Eff that ess. It’s only a three-mile walk from my place to the Capitol.

@FlyingChainSaw: And ordinarily I’d recommend the Tabard Inn, but it’s probably been booked since 2004.

@blogenfreude: I only stay at the Willard.

Can’t make it this time. Was there in 2000 to shout Thief! at you-know-who as they hustled him past the stands opposite the RNP HQ near the National. He peered out at us looking scared. At that inauguration they did everything they could to stop people watching. I hope this one doesn’t turn into a war zone.

If I found a cheapish ticket, but I had to fly into Baltimore and out of Reagan, would that be worth it? Help me East Coast Stinquers, you’re my only hope!

@homofascist: Reagan National, either direction around that time will be a premium. The MARC train makes BWI a bearable alternative. From Chicago, there’s a 30% discount now flying in and out of BWI, compared to DCA.

For fun, I asked Travelocity to book flight and hotel for three nights and the ORD/DCI tariff shot to $2600 from like $530.

I wish I could join you but alas, I will be here. Hopefully the King Center or Ebenezer Baptist Church will have some sort of giant-screen watch party here. That would be sweeeeeeeeeet.

@FlyingChainSaw: As I told my boss yesterday, I refuse to mention that man’s name in the name of that airport.

@homofascist: You can take the MARC train from BWI. National (don’t ever call it Reagan) is right near DC and easy to get to. Check out Southwest and AirTran fares from Midway to BWI or Philly – that will be your cheapest option. If you fly to Philly you can ride Amtrak down with me, JNOV, and JNOV Jr.

@SanFranLefty: I just emailed you my phone # – can you give me a call?

@SanFranLefty: It’s a good alternative but be aware that Philly – this may be my experience only, or a reflection of the airlines I take and their hubbing schemes – but Philly seems itchy about weather, to an extent they’ll close the runways for inclemencies that seems rather minor. JNOV, what’s your take?

One consideration as to MARC is that service may be limited on Monday, because it’s a holiday (not sure if that would likewise affect Tuesday — I’ll call and find out). If MARC isn’t running, you can also take Amtrak, though it’s more expensive. If that’s the situation you find yourself in, the best option may be to pair up with other travelers and take a cab from the BWI train station to Union Station in DC. I’ve never done it, but the going rate seems to be a $50 flat fee for as many people will fit in the taxi (and be sure to remind them of that if they try to charge more).

@mellbell: I was thinking on coming in on Sunday. Should that be a problem?

@homofascist: It shouldn’t be a problem, and might be preferable even, just in terms of avoiding the rush the next day. That does nix the MARC option, but between Amtrak and the cabbies (they’re always, always there) you should be fine. If I’m really proactive and set up a Zipcar account before then, I could even pick you up.

@mellbell: To clarify, MARC only runs Monday through Friday, as it’s targeted toward commuters.

@FlyingChainSaw: I have a few days’ worth of buffer going in and out of Philly. Mr. SFL has a weather-related-story-from-Hell involving Philly. So are you going to join us, I take it from your comment?

@SanFranLefty: If I am not being whipsawed by deadlines, I will be able to go. Have a place to splat in Alexandria, anyway.

I think I might be there! Hee hee! My BFF invited me to crash at his in DC!

i’m so bummed. i won’t be able to make it. fuck. it’s around the exact time we are going back to israel, and i’ll be in miami for 2 weeks with my daughter before we leave. so it’s impossible.
just the amtrak ride with lefty, jnov and junior would have been worth the trip!
i am devastated that i can’t witness this, and with my posse no less, but frankly i’m consoled by avoiding the teaming masses–people en masse scare me to death.
i insist we have another plan for a stinquer party that is sane and convenient for as many people as possible.

@homofascist: @RomeGirl: oh Hay-ELL YESSS!!!
@baked: Bring baked Jr. – lots of flights up from Miami. Come witness history with your daughter.

Can we get one of those Jewish Homeland groups (birthright?) to sponsor all the Stinquers to come make a pilgrimage to Israel next summer?

I’m not sure we’re taking the train. It might be cheaper to drive and park at the farthest METRO stop in MD, I think it’s Greenbelt. And I’m not sure we’re spending the night. I don’t get paid for holidays of any sort, so I need to work the day before and after the inauguration.

Oh, and yes, FCS, the airport in Philly is hinky. They don’t tend to cancel flights, but there are often weather delays for fog and whatnot.

TJ/I quit smoking today. That picture of Barry made me smile. Even the divine have vices. (I’m coughing like crazy, damned lungs trying to repair themselves.)

@JNOV: Keep it up. I spent most of twenty years torturing myself with quitting smoking. Once, in the late seventies, three whole years without. Last August (2008), twenty years have gone gloriously by. Wish I

Wish I could say the same about alcohol. However, the power of a bad example has kept my only child sober since July of 1991.

@FlyingChainSaw: FCS, it might be that this area gets very nasty, but very localized, weather systems. Like Noreasters, they are very local, and can awful, in a small area, as they run up the coast at high speed. And we get just enough snow, maybe a real dumper every 3 years, that it can shut down everything, but not enough that people get used to it, so they go bannanas, Call out the national guard. Even if its just 3 inches, panic ensues, the grocery stores are filled with people stocking up for nuclear winter.

Back in I think 1991, we got like 18 inches throughout the state, Governoe Whitman, revealing nazi that lurks inside every republican, Ordered that everyone was to stay home, noone was to drive on the streets. Seriously. I made a point of going out for a booze run, took a while to find a tavern that was open, I was begging to be pulled over, and charged, with what? Disobeying her Majesty?

@lynnlightfoot: You are an inspiration! Thank you! I never EVER thought I’d get addicted. Dumbest thing I ever did. Or maybe the dumbest was husband #2. It’s a toss up.

Okay, I am a little less than 3 hours from DC when the traffic is good, which it won’t be. Can we trust Amtrack to put on extra trains? When I had to go to DC, heady days of a congressional campaign, headed to DC to meet the pollsters and strategists at the DNC headquarters, I used to drive to Wilmington and catch the train there, thats where I ran into Biden one morning, chatted for a while, waiting for the train.

I was working for Rush Holt. Rush’s father holds the honor of being the youngest Senator ever elected, in 1932, elected with Roosevelt, from WVA. Biden, who is the second youngest Senator ever, knew to the day how much younger Holt’s dad was, and pointed out that if they had not moved the day for swearing in, he, Biden, would have been the youngest. He struck me as really an OK guy, and very smart and knowledgeable. He’s often belittled for having a big mouth and making embarrasing jokes, but to me, its because he’s less of a politician, he does speak his mind. The flap over him saying Obama would be tested, for example, jeeze, he was just stating fact, but of course thats the worst gaffe you can commit, speak truthfully.

@Promnight: Those are winter systems only? I dunno how many times I and other travelers I commisserate with have been stalled out because “Philly closed” or the plane is “locked down at Philly.” So much so I just rejigger any itinerary proposed that routes me through Philadelphia.

I always wonder what it would take to close Montreal. Been through there twice in full bore blizzards and no one blinked. Suds. Taxi. Blast off.

sometime in the last twenty-four hours I wrote a comment about Barack Obama’s first book, Dreams from My Father. I think it may have been swallowed, so I want to say again that we are incredibly lucky to have this man helping us out . Someone in the blogosphere said that he has an “elegant” mind, qualifying it with either the word “sublimely” or “supremely”. On the Daily Show last week, Charles Ogiltree put him in a category with “two skinny guys from Illinois.”

@lynnlightfoot: Winston Churchill once said, “I have taken more from alcohol, than it has taken from me.” He may have been in denial, but if so, what would he have achieved without alcohol? God-Emporer of the world? His routine, from memory, was a small sherry mid-morning, a half bottle of wine with lunch, a whiskey late afternoon, and of course a cocktail before dinner, wine with dinner, port and cigars after, maybe a last cognac.

I think like a lot of people I have been self-medicating two conditions all my life. I think too much, they call that ADD now, and I feel too much; if I bother to think about it, I will start to cry about everything in the world, every poor child growing up in poverty and doomed to repeat the cycle, the helpless people living in dysfunctional, broken societies, who have no chance at all, victims of the world as it is, torn and twisted homosexuals caught between recieved religious values that tell them they are evil, and a society that allows them to be bashed and discriminated against, and their nature. The kids I grew up with, my lost friends, who didn’t make it, and most of all, simple, good, honest people like my father, who was so so scrupulously honest, always, who worked three jobs, to raise the six of us, who worked and worked and worked his ass off his whole life, who was smart, too, and who died without a pot to piss in and us kids all put up $1,000 each to pay for the funeral.

Maybe, if I were a teetotaler, I could come to have that teetotaler’s kind of denial, and think that constant struggle with no reward except the profit gleaned from my work by the capitalists, is just fine and dandy, maybe I could learn like the majority seem to do, to simply be oblivious to the pain of the world and the billions of suffering souls.

I would not want that. Instead, I titrate my pain, I prefer to feel it when I can stand it, and dull it when I cannot. I just wish pot were legal, its less destructive to the body.

@FlyingChainSaw: I had the airport close down on me in February 2003, but we had a terrible blizzard that year. I’d say expect delays, but I don’t think the airport will shut down minus another blizzard.

@Promnight: I am hoping he just goes fucking nuts and decides to go out rocking. What’s his nickname? The Senator from MBNA? Be great to send him out to reach down Wall Street’s throat and rip their fucking hearts out on the way out.

@lynnlightfoot: I stumbled upon that book of his a long time ago (I think he was just in the Illinois State Senate, a coworker of mine had him as a professor at Chicago and told me “YOU MUST read this book” and I did) and I was so impressed and thought, well it’s too bad that someone this smart and this much self-awareness will be lucky to become a recurring guest on Oprah. And now he’s the next fucking President of the United States.

Yes, I need to prepare myself for sorrow and disappointment. But wow, it’s cool to enjoy it now.

@Promnight: Are you my long-lost twin brother? I’ve always been criticized by my family for “thinking too much” and “feeling too much” – but that’s just the way I am. That’s why I get verklempt with guilt about my poor mileage, or not doing enough to help friends of a friend working in a refugee camp in Chad. I ask myself, “What the fuck am I doing compared to ____ who is helping Darfur refugees” and I’ve tried to tell myself I’m doing enough to help the world in my small bit. And then I pour myself another drink. And try to read something besides a non-fiction book, The Economist, or another political blog. Luckily I have a husband like me, he looks around at our friends and says stuff like “How could anyone ever have a child and bring it into a world like this?” and I realize I’m a lucky woman.

P.S. Medical marijuana isn’t legal yet in Jersey? Now that’s a campaign/policy effort that you and JNOV could work on getting the voters to approve…I bet baked could come up to the Cherry Hill suburbs and do some GOTV to legalize it.

@SanFranLefty: My lost sister SFL, its studying statistics, sociology, and social research, that freed me from unnnecessary guilt about my own individual practices, when it comes to carbon and pollution and consumerism and such. I do make choices when practical, to minimize my impact on the world. But I also know, that its systemic, and way bigger than me. Sure, biodiesel, for example, is a wonderful idea, drive around on recycled french-fry oil. But its a false illusion of a solution, first off, it would only work for a tiny number of people, second, it depends for its success on the wastefull fast food economy. Its just an illusion, it can ever only work as a parasite on the system that itself is the greater evil. Ethanol, great idea, sustainable, but since Bush mandated 10% ethanol, at the behest of ConAgra, the result has been massive inflation in food prices for basics, corn, wheat, vegetable oil, and now a loaf of bread costs $3.00. And the poor across the world are suffering, they have no cars, but their food costs are skyrocketing.

Driving a prius is nothing but a symbolic salve to the conscience.

The only solution is systemic, collective, policy, a massive public effort to find an alternative, involving mass transit, a change in land use and the way we live, massive investment in renewable energy, and an alternative to internal combustion for automobiles.

If we had thrown $3 trillion at that, instead of using it to bail out the bankers and their bonuses, we’d change the world completely in 5 years.

@Promnight: We would end the war on terror and the troubles in the middle east, too, because we would not need the arabs oil, they would not be getting our money and would no longer be a threat to Israel, we would have no reason to interfere in their part of the world and earn their enmity, god, all the things that could be solved, if we could just give up our addiction to oil.

Thats the downside of having an oil-industry president and vice president. No progress for 8 years, none, during a critical time.

@Promnight: On that note, I’m opening up a bottle of red, will power off the computer, and fire up “This is Spinal Tap” or “A Mighty Wind” or maybe “I’m Gonna Git YOU, Sucka” for a little escapism.

On a related note, will you and Mrs. Prom and Prommie Jr. come with some of us misfitted stinquers to the Inauguration? I’d love to show you around my old stomping grounds of D.C. I talked to Homofascist today and now I’m all fired up.

@SanFranLefty: @<a Great to know that you too have read the Unicorn’s first book. I’m on to the second as soon as I finish the first. Maybe today, my drinking is slowing me down.

By the way, the other skiny guy from Illinois that Charles Ogletree was mentioning was Abraham Lincoln.

@SanFranLefty: @Promnight:
brother and sister,
ditto. and however you feel about woody allen he put our feelings into one sentence. “if there’s one child starving in africa it ruins my evening”.

pot is illegal?

Maundering on. I grew up in an apartment above my stepfather’s car dealership that looked out on the courthouse square (Wabash, Wabash County, IN) and a very nice sculpture (a copy of the one in DC, I think) of Lincoln.

@JNOV: An option is that you Amtrak it out my way and we cram as many stinquers as possible into one car and park, as you suggest, at the furthest MD transit stop.

You all be sure to wear pink carnations or something so Baked, Cyn and I can spot you on MSNBC. I’ll have to “work at home” to catch any of it.

@redmanlaw: Great idea. I have plans to be “sick” that day.
@lynnlightfoot: Is everything OK at your end? I’m a little worried about you.

@redmanlaw: Pink carnation? Look for the unicorn hats. (Or would black eagle feathers be more appropos?)

@Mistress Cynica: Thanks for caring. I fell off the wagon, so I am embarrassing myself and distressing my loved ones.

@SanFranLefty: Unicorn hats with black feathers.
@lynnlightfoot: I embarrass myself on a regular basis, and things get to be too much for all of us sometimes. Do you have someone you can talk to, like a therapist or sponsor? Take care of yourself, your stinquers love you.

Sorry I came late to this thread, but I figure that Chicago might be a free an AWESOME place to see history made. Can we has Daley Plaza teevee?

(Plus: I have court that day. Judges, um, rule.)

@chicago bureau: What do you call the best dressed guy in court? The defendant.

@Mistress Cynica: Ostrich feathers, maybe marabou.

Late breaking news: No charge for parking at Metro stations on Inauguration Day. If you plan on arriving by car or getting a rental, that could make staying outside the city that much easier.

embarressed HERE? among us? don’t be silly. you’ll get right back on that wagon, and likely fall off again. i learned this from HBO’s ‘intervention’ and having been in rehab twice and counting.
the relapse is an actual part of the progress and process, so don’t fret.
you are very loved all the time. sober, not so sober or staggering drunk.
did i ever tell you i woke up on my lawn once? and not so very long ago.
you’re in good company here, substance abuse is for the homeless and the wealthiest and everyone in between. especially vulnerable are the aware and awake and intelligent, that’s why the stinques are on meds. in liquid and pill form.
let us know how we can help. you have my phone number…use it! and for anyone else 305-517-5991
it’s a computer program “netspeak” so it’s like calling florida, no charge to callers with long distance in your phone plan.
big squishy boobie hug.

@baked: Thanks for the love. I’m now about eight days away from the last drink and through the worst and even the not-so-awful tail-end of withdrawal, in time thank God to drive a six-hour round trip to the funeral of my favorite uncle. He died last Wednesday at the age of 91. He was my father’s brother and was married to my mother’s sister. When my parents split when I was two, Uncle Walt and Aunt Phyllis, who had not yet had either of their two children, took me under their wing, and a good thing, too, since my mother went off to California for two years plus, leaving me with her parents. Uncle Walt was the last one left of the significant parent figures of my childhood. My maternal grandparents died long ago, of course. My excellent stepfather died in 1988, my mother in 1989, my rather awful father in 1994, my stepmother in 1995, and my aunt (Uncle Walt’s wife and my mother’s sister) in 1996.
I’ve been lurking and following your trials from afar this last week, feeling guilty that I wasn’t up to much chiming in on the chorus of encouraging you. “I’ll be better, I’ll be better, just as soon as I am able.” signed Rocky

i’m sorry about uncle walt lynn…that explains a lot.
after giving up cigs for 8 years, i lit my first one at my sister’s funeral and have been in a cloud of smoke since. it’s my addiction, and stress will have you reaching for your drug of choice. bad coping strategy, but often the case. you’re in my prayers, and god is so sick of my prayers, she’ll appreciate my prayers for you. hang in honey.

@nabisco: Just so ya know, NPCA has definitely been accepted as an inaugeral parade entry and they’re now taking applications for marchers:
I’m hoping my odds are helped by having served in a country with a relatively small pool of RPCVs, but we’ll see. It’s all in the hands of the Community Organizer in the Sky. Good luck!

@nabisco: Another tip for you–if you already signed up via email, you have to REsubmit your entry at the RPCV-Washington website (linked on original NPCA page). All this jumping though hoops is crazy–hopefully, it further narrows down the field at least!

@flippin eck: @nabisco:
Holy caca, that would be soooooo awesome if y’all got to march in the parade. Homofascist, Mellbell, and I would have to find some sort of way to get to the viewing area. I have two possible leads on parade-viewing parties in DC, BTW.

@SanFranLefty: You’re taking amtrack from philly? Tell me, whats your plan? Mrs. Prom will be out of town, I want to go, I can take the days off, can I come with you and JNOV? I have money. Should I buy amtrack tickets now?

@Prommie: My plan is to take Amtrak down from Philly either on Sunday or Monday and come back on Wednesday morning. I was waiting to see if I was going to have dinner with JNOV and Nabisco and families at your place on Sunday night before booking my train ticket. JNOV can’t go to DC due to not getting paid time off at her job.

Dang! I have to go Vienna that week for the UN. I promise to watch on TV if you guys promise to riot.

@FlyingChainSaw: And deprive us all of the opportunity to meet you? For shame.

@flippin eck: Awesome catch, thanx Flip! Now, what are the chances that even one stinquer is chosen, let alone two?

@FlyingChainSaw: Are you with the UN, and do we know each other? Cuz that would be equally awesome.

@SanFranLefty: @Prommie: My plans are still in flux (the lottery will seal the deal, obvs), but I’ve got a couple of options for staying a night or two. If I don’t make the lottery, some PCV buds have extended an offer to join their parade viewing group as well.

My God, how you intrigue me. You have no idea.

@FlyingChainSaw: I would just like to echo SFL with that last sentiment. At this point, I can’t even conceive of you as a real person who just, you know, walks around and does stuff.

@SanFranLefty: I can’t tell you how excited I am at the prospect of getting to march! I’m trying not to think about it and get my hopes up, because I’m sure it’s a long shot. And although I will do what I need to do to make it happen if I’m somehow picked, I’ll have to scramble to try to make arrangements to get to, and stay in, a city that’s already completely booked. I have a few friends there, so hopefully a floor to crash on wouldn’t be too hard to find, but getting there….man. Also, I’d book with Amtrak asap if I were you. Last week my friend from NYC was talking about possibly going, but he said Amtrak was already completely sold out. Of course, I’m not sure exactly what dates he was looking at.

The “UN” is a cover story. Comes in handy when you’re fomenting revolution. How close is Vienna to Greece?

John Bolton???

I wish I could go. Unfortunately, I checked around and found no decent place to stay.

@FlyingChainSaw: Well, someone has to help form the One World government made possible by the Eagle/Blagojevich seizure of power.

Found a picture of Chain Saw.

@everyone in need of a place to stay: My couch, it seems, is still available, and sleeps two. My hovel apartment leaves something to be desired, but I will gladly put up anyone willing to brave it. (Oh, and I live two miles from the Mall, three miles from the Capitol, so get ready to walk!)

@ManchuCandidate: @flippin eck: Don’t let lack of housing stop you. We can find you a place to stay. I have friends who may have spaces on couches, etc. (I have secured couch space for me at one place). Also, for getting there, like we recommended, check out flights to Philly or Newark or Richmond.

I didn’t want to miss out on the chance of a meal at Prommie’s, so that’s why I was holding off on booking my Amtrak ticket. I’ve been told they’re going to add extra trains and times. I will go look on line right now for a Monday train.

@flippin eck: Coach on Amtrak is sold out. Reserved Coach and First Class and Business Class are still available.

@flippin eck: You could probably stay at my friend’s place too. It ain’t going to be glamorous, but since you spent time in Georgia I imagine you will be okay. We can sleep together on the floor and spoon!

@homofascist: @flippin eck: But what if Flippin wants to be the little spoon? Who gets stuck with being outside big spoon?

@homofascist: @SanFranLefty: Spooning compatibility issues be damned, I’ll take what I can get at this point! (and I’m not talking about DC housing issues)

@nabisco: No, I am an invited expert witness for a topic that would put you to sleep, at a UN directorate that is almost completely anonymous. @flippin eck: @SanFranLefty: I’ll send you both the PPT slides for my presentation if you are desperate for a good snooze.@nojo: In another dimension, oh, boy, if only you knew. . . @ManchuCandidate: No! Stay in Baltimore and car jack your way to DC!@redmanlaw: That’s my next trip. To Baltimore, where all the forces of the universe converge.

@flippin eck:
I’ll spoon with ya. Be warned though. I snore.

@mellbell: If everyone stays shitfaced and parties for a week, it will be fine. I am flying back into the states on the 25th.

@redmanlaw: I cook with a whisk. Spoons are tableware.

@FlyingChainSaw: godspeed. I used to come home for the holidays and scare my right wing psychogeezer uncle with stories about where the black helicopters really are kept.

@redmanlaw: Nobody forks anymore?

@SanFranLefty: I don’t know what I am doing yet, darnit, seized with indecision as always at critical moments in life.

@Prommie: Book tickets on the train, yell out your date and times here and lay the keystone for a Stinque group. Then get everyone to run out and buy cheap snorkel jackets and fill them with cans of beer for the trip. Assemble on a car. Go nuts. How’s that for a plan?

@FlyingChainSaw: Cool, we’d look like Cheney at a funeral, in snorkel jackets and hiking boots.

They opening up the whole mall and the bars will be open 24 hours, hell, I think we will be able to sleep where we fall, we could spoon like confederate soldiers.

@Prommie: Well, decide already, bitch.
I sent you my train times, book yourself on the same Amtrak with me or a different one, and then that’s two of us, we can meet up with HF, MellBell, and maybe Flippin, Manchu and Nabisco Tuesday early morning to position ourselves on the Mall with flasks in hand for forking, spooning, kniving, whatever. I know some divey bars in DC that will undoubtedly be opening early.

Part of me wants to park my ass outside the White House starting early in the morning and miss the Inaugural of Hope just so I can flip off MonkeyBoy when he gets on the helicopter to leave for Dallas.

@SanFranLefty: Take them to Bravo Bravo and make them drink until they power chuck into Connecticut Avenue.

@FlyingChainSaw: Bravo Bravo? Wow, memories… How about the Front Page? I’ve done some quality puking into Connecticut Avenue outside that place long ago when I was a young lefty. I prefer the dive bars in the basements of office buildings on K Street,* or the American Legion Hall in Southeast near the Eastern Market metro stop.

*I have no idea if these bars still exist, but I used to drink at them with reporters at lunch, and some of them turn into Eurotrash discos at night for the Georgetown/GW grad students from the Middle East and Europe. Do you know the kind of places I’m talking about?

Yes, been to the Front Page once but it didn’t have the fetid skank of Bravo Bravo. Yes, I know of them but I haven’t been a patron as the crowds in DC that I have to work with on and off are populated by people who really have to get home at night – or on a flight out. Legion Halls are great and drank at a number but not that one. When I go to DC, I usually end up in the Harrington or someplace around DuPont Circle and the bars in the hotels are actually not bad. Harry’s is really grimy and the attempt at cosmopolitan staging when they set up the al fresco dining “Shit’s on! Who’s having the fucking tuna? Good luck to whoever’s sleeping witcha”.

@SanFranLefty: Wow, you already keystoned the operation. Yeah, Prommie, get with the program. It could be a nuts fucking train ride with a little coordination, a few snorkle jackets and a couple of cases of Keystone Light.

If you’re staying at Hotel Harrington you should go to the bars on 17th Street – strongest drinks around. Or my favorite bar, the Brickskeller, on 22nd and R, with their amazing beer list.

@SanFranLefty: The Brickskeller, yes, been a couple of times. Kinda nice. But kinda collegey and needs more grime. Hey, if you are going to harass Caligutard you should shout something choice over the fence about him going to Krakow to get some keilbasa. He should get the reference to his boyfriend Victor Ashe, still parked in Poland.

@SanFranLefty: Ok, I have gotten a clearer picture, any gathering stinkers are invited to casa prom for a sunday pre-inaugural bash. You and JNOV and Nabisco and anyone coming in who will be staging in the philly/NYC area who can get here, there’s a fantastic nonstop bus from the Port Authority terminal that drops you 20 minutes from me and takes a little more than an hour, I will make the connection if anyone is coming through NY and wants to come. The service is hourly, too, you could get up and back, or anyone interested is invited to stay overnight, then go catch transport from philly, I will be taking Monday off if it turns into a party, so I will drive anyone who needs to Philly. Mrs. Prom will still be there and we can have a real bash, and I will try to outdo myself and provide a treat, and if anyone is staying, it can turn into a real party. Lots of spare rooms here. Anyone thinking of flying into the northeast and then travelling down to DC, consider this a stopover. Srsly. I probably will not make the inauguration, logistics, but I am prepared now to make this a real invitation, very real, I am commited, if anyone is interested. SFL, you and JNOV and JNOV Junior I count on, we will work out transport.

@Promnight: Hell, since I am gonna take monday off, I could even drive any Sunday night guests, on Monday, down to the furthest out Metro station, its less than 3 hours from me.Anyone thinking of flying into Bawlmore, fly through Philly or NY, stay here Sunday night, then Monday I will get you to Maryland. Anyone thinking of going that way, this could work.

@SanFranLefty: Thats my decision, Bitch, I am inviting anyone staging through Philly or NY or anyone who decides to stage through those airports, if they do it Sunday, we have a stinky pre-inaugural at casa Prom, and then I get you to within striking distance of DC Monday. And if I can get my logistics settled, I may go the rest of the way with youse.

@Promnight: Monday is a holiday, sugarplum. MLK Jr. Day. Isn’t the gorgeousness of that holiday on the eve of Unicorn Inaugural all the more delicious?

So enough of verklemptitude about the racial harmony karma, back to our drinking and eating plans.

I see it as such: if anyone in the tri-state/five-state area goes to Chez Prommie Sunday night, we can all spend the night regardless of Inaugural plans due to the holiday and stagger back home on Monday with hangovers or over to the 30th Street Station to catch trains down to DC.

I will just have to get JNOV or Nabisco to give me a ride from Philly to the shore on Sunday, or find a nice little bus to take with little old ladies going to gamble.

And you know I mean to call you “bitch” in the most loving sort of way. In the “get off your ass and stop equivocating” sort of way.


@SanFranLefty: Yes We Can. I will get you and JNOV and Jr here, don’t worry about that part of the planning. And I know that the freedom to insult your friends laughingly is a sign of intimacy and trust, no worries, bitch.

@SanFranLefty: Now I have thrown my doors open unequivocally, come, people, come for a pre-inaugural bash with a 5 coourse gourmet meal included, and beds, couches, floors, aplenty for camping out. Here’s da deal, if we get enough peeps, I will rent a 13 passenger van and drive all down to the metro on Monday, seriously, very very seriously.

So here is an option for anyone who wants to fly into the northeast on Sunday, fly to NY or Philly or even Atlantic City, check out our local carrier, spend the night at Proms, then we van-pool to the metro.

Give me 6 to 10 confirmations, this will then happen. Sound good to anyone?

@Promnight: This sounds so fabulous that I’m green with envy. I hate being poor.

Manchu, Flippin, Prommie is talking to you. Anyone else debating Unicorn inaugural festivities, check out this offer of pre-inaugural staging activities. We have been offered five courses of food porn. Who the hell needs the inauguration after that?

Benedick, Blogenfreude, you’re in the NYC area, you can take the Chinatown bus down to A.C. for some food porn….calling stinquers out of the woodwork…

send me a msg at sanfranlefty [at] gmail and I will pass them on to Prommie so he can plan his seating arrangement and menus of Hope ™ and Change ™.

@FlyingChainSaw: Ah, Brickskeller. The only bar in DC where I’ve actually seen rats (though their presence elsewhere is almost certainly a given). It’s an ok place, but for all their talk of having hundreds of beers on hand you really need to have several in mind before ordering, since they generally won’t have your first couple of choices in stock.

@Mistress Cynica: Forget the money. The question is do you have vacation time? Because I have a shitload of frequent flier miles going to waste on several airlines. Srsly. And it sounds like some of the rest of us do too, or maybe just its Chainsaws’ and baked’s world travels. You so deserve a vacay, sister. Let’s figure this out…

@SanFranLefty: No paid vacation time, no sick leave, and Mr Cyn still has no job prospects. I’ll have to hear all about when my employer pays for me to go to San Fran in February.

@SanFranLefty: Thanks SFL, shout this from the rooftops, get commitments. Manchu, fly to Philly or Atlantic City, anyone else in the NY NJ PA area, come to my place Sunday, stay, and the next day, we rent a van and I will drive you all to within Metro or that Maryland commuter line to DC. There are many many many buses to AC from Philly and NY, but if you are coming from NY, the best deal there is is the bus from the port authority Bus terminal nonstop to Toms River, 15 miles from me. I will get you from wherever your bus or train ends to my house, there are also trains from Philly to Atlantic City. Come in Saturday if you want to. Mrs. Prom has agreed and is sitting beside me encouraging this invitation. Come on, this could work out great. The van pool from here to Maryland eliminates all the logistics of getting from NY, Philly airports to DC. Think about it.

At this point, I’m a mushy maybe.

Let me get back to you sometime this weekend. I’m actually started Xmas Holidays today mostly because each time I planned to take the week off, I got stuck with a new project and my employer has a use-it-or-lose-it vacation policy when you’ve already banked max vacation so I “have” to burn my vacation time.

I can get a very cheap flight to Philly from Toronto. It is just a matter of signing up for vacation. Since I have my work laptop, I’ll put in for vacation time tomorrow (week of Jan 20 right?). I figure that I might just take in a few sights around DC as well just for the hell of it (National Air and Space Museum here I come.)

@Mistress Cynica: Shit on a stick. I have miles on American going to waste. If you can’t make it out east, can you at least work in some buffer “work” days before and after actual work days in EssEff so you can build in a little vacation for you and Mr. Cyn. We can try to have a little outing with Benedick and LuxMentis and Ewalda.
@ManchuCandidate: Cheap flight? What else are you waiting for? Hand-engraved invitation? Maybe you can score us front row seats for the parade at the Canadian Embassy – they are in a primo location on Pennsylvania Ave, across from my favorite museum, the National Gallery of Art.
P.S. to RML – I went to the National Museum of the American Indian last week. Very cool.

Unicorn Inauguration/End of Shrub is in DC on Tuesday 1/20/09.
MLK Jr. Holiday of playing U2’s “Pride” is everywhere on Monday 1/19/09.
FoodPorn Festival of PromNight cooking is somewhere on the Jersey Shore Sunday 1/18/09.

Pick your fun.

@SanFranLefty: Back when we were at Brand W, I used to hate that commenter The Front Page. He was such a dick. He was the only one, besides Chief Payne, who made me stabby.

@Promnight: Damn Prommie – I already have my ticket straight into DC on that Sunday.

The short answer on the Canada City Embassy is no. They’d treat me worse than the cleaning staff.

The long answer is current Canada City Ambassador to US America is one Michael Wilson who is an uber asshole and former Conservative finance minister who nearly plunged the nation of my birth into financial ruin. The mere mention of his name around the family dinner table is guaranteed a 1/2 hour foaming at the mouth rant about how much of an asshole he is from my dad including making chopping gestures and waving clenched fists.

@SanFranLefty: The former NMAI director is married to my old Indian law professor. The current director is the brother of one of my law school classmates.

@homofascist: Ah, Chief Payne. I kinda liked him, in controlled doses.

@nojo: People like lots of things in controlled doses. Doesn’t mean it is necessarily good for you.

Although I did enjoy making over-the-top sexual advances towards him.

@redmanlaw: That picture of me is a little out of date. Where did you get it?

I enjoyed making Chiefy cry. He was really upset when in our war with the Paultards, I called him W’s General Lloyd Fredenhall (the most inept US senior officer of WW2.)

After that he didn’t visit W so much.

i too enjoyed making chiefy cry. never missed an opportunity.

oh heart be still! napolean solo! if only the saw really was, i’d hunt him down like the girl from u.n.c.l.e. (stephanie powers)
U.nited N.etwork C.ommand for E.nforcement.
got it now beeesco?

reds, your “one spoon in the drawer” touched me so, and you found that pic for me didnja? ilya holds a special place in my …er, uh..heart.
as a preteen, he alerted me to what i was destined to become.
a peen and man loving straight girl, with a penchant for the blonde tweak look. he stirred me, before i knew wtf was stirring. btw, wiki has a wikid good article on an overlooked gem of a show. remember what Thrush, their arch enemy was an acronyn of? “Technological Hierarchy for the removal of Undesireables and the subjugation of Humanity”.
rove grew up to run Thrush!

so pissed i won’t be cavorting with y’all at the ignaug, etc.
i sooo would have been there if the timing was different.
hey lefty, your enthusiasm is infectious…why don’t YOU run for something? i’m serious.

Me? Run for office? Are you joking? Never in a million years.
I can’t stand talking to boring or stupid people, nor do I enjoy kissing people’s asses. It’s kind of hard to get far in politics when you don’t suffer fools and said fools comprise 90% of the electorate.

thinking of franken i guess. he lost, but he was fighting on the side of the angels at least. after 2 hours of c-span wednesday night, i’m hearting barney frank all over again. how fucking adorable is he?

@Promnight: I like it when a plan comes together.

Although I’m already halfway between you and DC, I will commit to the Sunday foodporn extravaganza and can help with the transport on Monday down to 30th street. Hell, I could also just train it out to 30th street myself on Sunday and hitch on to the shuttle out to the beach with Lefty and JNOV and Jr.

Ms.Nabisco gets back tonight from JoePaville, and I’ll work out final plans with her over the weekend.

@nabisco: Hey, noone has posted here in a month, whats up?

Attention Inauguration attendees: NYT has a FAQ on getting around and what to wear/bring.

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