Fishtray Has Seen It All Before

We were desperate. Cat Stick wasn’t talking, and Yoda Pez was exhausted after channeling the Supreme Court. (“Ohio, you must deny,” we heard him muttering.) But the latest campaign developments had left us anxious for advice, and we needed someone to consult with.

And then we remembered Fishtray.

Fishtray is an old pol with whom we’ve had our disagreements over the years. As a young idealist he managed Flipper’s first campaign (“Live in a world full of wonder!”), but in later years he hit a low behind the scenes of the ugly Shamu-Willy race. (“We haven’t seen this much chum since Jaws,” sneered the Times.)

But Fishtray knew where the scales were scraped. “I can tell you more about smoke-filled rooms than any nose-breather,” he liked to say. “We were baiting opponents long before you came on the scene.”

So we called. It had been awhile, but Fishtray recognized our voice immediately. “What, no sweets from the Jolly Green Elf?” he asked. (Long story.) “Fine,” he said, “whaddaya want?”

We explained the situation: McCain had called ACORN a threat to the “fabric of democracy” Wednesday night, and Fox News was all over the story.

“So?”

Well, we said, we were worried that McCain was setting the stage to void the election.

Fishtray laughed. Although when Fishtray laughs, it sounds like bubbles. It’s something you get used to.

“You’re worried about that?” he asked. “I’ve seen squid with more integrity.”

You don’t understand, we said. They’re trying to undermine Obama’s legitimacy.

“You mean they’ve given up looking for his birth certificate?” said Fishtray. “Look, son, remember ’92? Perot split the idiot vote, and Clinton won with a popular plurality. All you heard for the next couple of years was that he didn’t have a ‘mandate.'”

No, but plenty of women dates, we said. We didn’t hear bubbles. Fishtray never appreciated our sense of humor.

“You don’t get it,” he said. “What happened in 2000? Bush lost the popular vote. Suddenly mandates were off the table. Now it was all about the Constitution.”

Well, it had been a long month, we said.

“Idiot!” he shouted. “Don’t you see? They make it up. Every time. It doesn’t matter what they say. Call them on it, and they’ll just say something else. You might as well pry barnacles, for all the good it does you. They’ll never accept a loss.”

And then Fishtray hung up, the way he always does when we’re too slow to see his point. But a moment later, we received a text message: “Tell the Elf he owes me a strawberry mint.”

74 comments:

8:00 am • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Beautiful!

9:38 am • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Awesome.

As I mentioned yesterday, I’m reading Angler, about Darth Cheney. He’s the one who never gave an inch when Bush’s inner circle panicked because they didn’t have any kind of mandate.

Hopey can learn a lot by the way that Cheney (not Rove or anyone else) established Bush’s WH in the first months. Fuck the oppos when they question the legitimacy of your win; just move forward dispassionately reminding as you go who it is that’s speaking behind the POTUS seal.

I’m confident that Black Eagle can do that, if – as Talibunny says – “we are so blessed”.

9:57 am • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@nabisco: I so want to read that!

10:40 am • Saturday • October 18, 2008

I think Fishtray needs to talk to my JFK salt and pepper shaker next weekend. Will send picture soon. (Rocking chair is pepper; JFK is salt).

10:49 am • Saturday • October 18, 2008

fishtray is feature worthy. bravo, nojo

12:38 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Is it true that the Unicorn’s 30 minute ad buy next week is going to delay the World Series by 10 minutes? If so, is he totally retarded? That is such a bad mistake. The GOP will have a field day with the unAmerican Barack disrespecting America’s game. Plus who the hell in this country has the attention span to watch a 30 minute ad?

Add: Yes it’s true.
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3646198

12:53 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@SanFranLefty: When I first heard about this ad buy on KO, Keef said that the video would only be aired if the World Series was over. I notice the article had no confirmation from Obama’s campaign, and it’s my guess that Fox did this pre-emptively, knowing that it would make Obama look like an un-American, sports-hating eeelitist. The O campaign needs to clarify at once.

(I have got to lay off the italics — my writing is starting to look like Ayn Rand’s [shudder]).

1:22 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Sport. Oh yes. Whatever we do we mustn’t delay Sport.

3:14 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@RomeGirl: We’ll have to be very careful. I’m positive Darth Maul Cup is an assassin.

@SanFranLefty: The way I heard the story, Obama bought ad time on the other three networks, and Fox wanted in on the action. No devious move by Rupert, just nudging the game back a few minutes to collect some easy money.

3:31 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@nojo: Oh, but if you go to the Fox News website, they’re going on and on about it. Nevermind it was their corporation that wanted in on it.

What the fuck will Black Eagle talk about for 30 minutes? He can’t be boring.

3:55 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@SanFranLefty: And when they get bored with the World Series, Fox News will find something else to carp about. The subject is irrelevant.

Besides, who gives a fuck about baseball? It’s not like Obama is delaying the Super Bowl. That would be treasoness.

And what will he talk about? Well, he did schedule the show at the height of the economic fears, which suggests his initial topic. And whether or not he’s boring, that’s a big belly flop into the news-cycle swimming pool, guaranteed to be Topic A the next day or two.

I’m guessing he’ll be calm. Whatever he says, the message will be this is a guy you can live with. Political comfort food a few days before the election.

4:58 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Is it weird that I am hearing Fishtray’s voice as Kathleen Turner’s?

5:04 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@homofascist: I was thinking Doctor Girlfriend, but I like yours better.

5:19 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@nojo:
Couldn’t Fishtray’s voice be a bit of both?

5:22 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Maybe he’ll remove one article of clothing every five minutes or so?

“Okay, in this segment I’ll show you a detailed, comprehensive breakdown of my proposed taxation plan. But first, let me get a little more comfortable…”

5:28 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@BRB: Now that’s a change I can believe in. Also get behind.

6:30 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@nojo: “Besides, who gives a fuck about baseball?”

Say it ain’t so, nojo! Tell me Cat Stick took over your keyboard for a minute.

@homofascist: Ha ha!

6:41 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@JNOV: America voted on that issue years ago: The only people who care about the World Series are fans of the teams involved.

Everyone watches the Super Bowl no matter what, but networks always fret when a major-market team isn’t in the Series. Before the earthquake interrupted proceedings, the SF-Oakland series was looking like a real ratings bummer.

Besides, Cat Stick is a rugby fan.

7:37 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Breaking news: UCLA beats Farm on a last-minute, 87 yard pass play. No one is more surprised that I am. The only bet I was willing to make on this game is that the Bruins would show up for it.

8:19 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

I can’t contain myself any longer. I quit reading comments at something dated middle of the afternoon (but just logged on this evening). THIS IS A PREEMPTIVE BUY. Whatever perfervid, totally idiotic shit the McCain campaign throws at them, they’re ready to answer it. Can you doubt, at this point, that Barack Obama, wholly cool, half-black, half-white, half-black, wholly cool, and did I mention wholly cool, will out-adroit these pathetic, evil, wholly stupid , half-cunning Rovian subanimals. To quote Richard Clarke, I think it is, “these people shouldn’t be allowed back in polite society.” Instead, of course

Plus, people are voting early in droves. We have the measure of the criminals who have been ruining this country for the last ohmigod how many years?

8:34 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Dodgerblue: I’m not surprised. The Farm always finds a way to fuck it up. I’m watching the #1 Horns right now – already 7-0, UT.

@lynnlightfoot: I know, I know. Thank you for calming me down. Record turn out today in Nevada on Day #1 of early voting. Lines out the door as the polls opened per my sources. Democrats for the first time ever outnumber Republicans in Washoe County thanks to the Unicorn’s voter registration drive (Washoe = Reno and environs).

8:43 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@lynnlightfoot: *APPLAUSE*

8:45 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Dodgerblue: @SanFranLefty: They are dead to me.

8:45 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@nojo: Stop Making Sense!

8:59 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Longhorns 21, Mizzou 0! (And still the first quarter).

9:00 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Lyndon LaDouche: Actually, it’s sports. Plural. Don’t make me send Michelle Bachmann on your anti-American ass. And, speaking of which:

Dodgerblue: FUCK FUCK FUCK.

(Oh, BTW: all of this “pushing the game back” crap is nonsense. Fox has a tiresome 30-minute pregame anyway. I’d bet that people would appreciate hearing from Black Eagle more than they would want to hear from Kevin Kennedy, Eric Karros and Jeannie Zelasko. Srsly.)

9:08 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

SanFranLefty: First five minutes: soft-light intro.

Next two: high-paced sales pitch, featuring the phrases “but wait,” “if you call in the next 30 minutes,” and a dollar amount ending in “.99.”

Next seven: friendly chat with three normal-looking voters.

Next two: same sales pitch as before, with quick-hit testimonials.

Next six: one-on-one with paid-endorser (PhD in economics from some nice sounding college).

Next two: sales pitch #1 again.

Next four minutes: closing thoughts from Black Eagle.

Next two: sales pitch #2 again.

Srsly, guys: this will work.

9:10 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Nice to know that sports are other people’s god too.

The amount of grief the Cricket broadcaster gets for crossing to the news instead of staying for the last 5 balls of an over is incredible.

On a political note. The NSW Government experienced a 20% swing against it in a by-election due to a retirement of the sitting member. This is interesting when one considers that the Western Australia Government changed from Labor to minority Liberal government (Democrat to Republican), and the Australian Capital Territory Govt is predicted to be a minority Labor Government after also experiencing a swing against it. And the next election is a federal (national) election.

The Rudd Labor Government may be reaping the whirlwind of the Global economic fubar…

9:11 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Longhorns 28, Misery NADA – now early 2nd quarter

HOLY fucking shit – UT is on fire.

anyone watching the Red Sox game?

9:14 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@CheapBoy: The time I went to Oz (my future home in case of GOP coup) there were cricket riots in Sydney. I thought that was bloody awesome. Almost as cool as Norm’s Coolies in the Barossa Valley.

9:19 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Cricket is Baseball for the colonials. :) I feel sorry for Canada that they don’t play Test cricket. But they do have a one day team for the world cup.

And if you have to flee, I’ll clean out the spare room for you.

9:26 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

SanFranLefty: Me. Boston 2 : 1 Tampa Bay, Top 4th. Pain delay: home plate umpire injured foul ball to upper chest (possibly collarbone). So there are five umps now.

CheapBoy: I keep hearing that 20/20 cricket is designed to Americanize the game. Jesus — cricket was just fine as it was, except for the blatant racism, the whining about perceived-but-actually-not-present-in-this-particular-case racism, and unintelligble reasons for some dismissals.

One problem with Canada, though? Four months of almost-guaranteed good weather, right when everybody wants to tour in England.

9:32 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Holy flippin shit, it’s now 35 UT, Zip Missouri. The Horns are en fuego. Colt McCoy, Heimsan trophy winner.

9:36 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@chicago bureau: Twenty/20 is for those that like a fast paced game. It lacks the ebb and flow of test cricket where a team can lose or gain ascendency in a session. It’s like a highlight reel designed to replace the evening movie on the telly.

I like to listen to the test cricket on the radio as I can fall asleep and not really miss anything. And the statistics are fascinatingly arcane. Such as “Wicket keepers that captained in overseas test matches”

9:47 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

As always, CheapBoy, Monty Python has the best response.

10:23 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@CheapBoy: I was made to play crickets at school. An antique establishment founded by a liquored up actor in the early 1600s. Ugh. I always brought a book so I’d have something to do whilst trudging from one end of the field to the other every eight balls. Ugh. Mind you, the clothes are good. That I will concede. The same can’t be said for the be-spandexed hulks one sees here jumping all over each other every time someone farts.

I see you’re all off into bounceyball or whatever the fuck farms are. Kisses to all. Nighty night.

But srsly. How can some people vote weeks before the rest of us? There is an election day and the voters all go and vote. What is this early crap? Please explain. I also don’t understand the whole concept of a ‘plea bargain’. It makes no sense.

Puzzled in Woodstock.

10:50 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Enough of sports; Nojo, fishtray is wrong, its not just more republican lies and noise. Its speaking loudly to their lunatic pigfucker christofascist base. On Free Republic, they are talking a lot about Red Dawn. Its not insurrection if you are just trying to right the monumental wrong of a stolen and fraudulent election. Its not assasination, to save our country from an illegitimate socialist america-hater taking control, you know that. And if you listen closely, the dog whistle has two tones, the “Acorn massive socialist black radical vote fraud,” and the “Socialist america-hating liberals should be considered enemies of the republic” tone, the Bachman gambit.

The danger of this effort to delegitimize the election results is that the MSM will accept it and amplify and spread it. When democrats truthfully claim that Bush stole both elections, the MSM labelled anyone who suggested such a thing as an insane conspiracy theorist. And at that time, the justice department had not been subjected to a 7 year concerted effort to install US Attorneys devoted to using their office to further the idea that there is massive democratic-liberal voter fraud going on. So this time, the Justice Department is giving credence to the voter fraud-illegitimate election allegations, and the MSM will act as the willing tools of the liars and report it as fact.

This shit is much more dangerous now than any whining by the dead-enders after past elections, because this time, it will be given credibility by the Bush admin during the 2 and a half months between the election and the inauguration, and because there will be a huge number of pigfucking racists whose heads have exploded over the idea of a black president and who are right now cleaning their guns and looking around for someone, anyone, to shoot.

When an airplane goes down, at most, there is just a few minutes between the time its obvious you are spiraling down and about to die, and when you drill into the ground, so most any reasonably fit person will have the stamina to panic and scream all the way down. But when a whole nation, a whole society, is crashing and burning, it takes much longer, and you get tired of screaming, you don’t have the stamina to keep up the rage and indignation and terror all the way down.

Thats whats happened to us, we’ve been in a death spiral, under Bush, for so long, that as the plane starts to break up, and another huge chunk falls off, we no longer scream, we just observe and calmly note, “hey, there goes the wing, never saw that before, hmm. Its gonna get interesting now.”

Stolen elections, illegal wars, torture, murder, a conspiracy to corrupt the judicial system to help steal more elections, an election campaign calling for civil, religous, and racial war if they lose, oh, and just to top it off, an economic collapse fully the equal of 1929, and we are too numb to scream any more. “Hey, there goes the tail section, and look at the way that remaining wing is burning, wow, this is the most exciting election ever, wonder if Palin will get booed on that comedy show tonight.”

I hate to sound like the conspiracy theorist tinfoil-hat clad “the end is near-tard,” but this might not just be the most interesting election, it might be the last.

10:52 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: I love the word “whilst” – it is my favorite Brit word besides the verb/noun “vex, vexed, vexations” which Mr. SFL yells everytime I cue up Jane Austen videos.

Meanwhile, in college football, Texas 49, Misery 17.

10:55 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: A plea bargain is a way the prosecutor can terrorize someone into giving up their right to a trial by indicting them for so much more and worse than they actually did, that they bend over and take a relatively mild rogering rather than the full-on week long gang-bang the prosecutor is promising.

Early voting is just some artifact of having deeply ignorant people in positions of making policy. I think the republicans like it because it gives them more time to challenge the votes and find technicalities to throw them out, democrats seem to like it because they have a faith that the early voters are all democrats, which again, allows the republicans more opportuniity to throw out democratic votes.

11:00 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Promnight: But early voting gives the Dems more time to fight back and get working people to the polls. It’s good.

11:04 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Federalizing voter registration law, so that local corrupt hacks are not in charge, would work better. I volunteered to be a democratic observer once, wound up observing the counting of absentee ballots one night, oy vey. A ballet of idiocy.

11:11 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Promnight: HAVA is crap. Federalization like “No Child Left Behind”?!

Meanwhile, UT 45, Misery 24. heh heh heh.

11:20 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@SanFranLefty: You ‘Horns are going to be insufferable, aren’t you?

11:23 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Mistress Cynica: Texans are ALWAYS insufferable. Except SFL.

Colt McCoy, thats a porn name, isn’t it?

11:25 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Promnight: It’s not a porn name. Though he is so cutely white bread rural Texas it makes your teeth hurt.

@Mistress Cynica: Jamie Sommers and I promise we won’t be insufferable Texans. It’s just so sweet when UT beats out of state teams whose stars are all from Texas. UT’s star,besides Colt, is from Africa. Take that as a good sign for Black Eagle Unicorn.

11:35 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

TJ/Just saw Talibunny on SNL. Meh.

11:36 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

Told you Lorne is a complete fucking star-fucker, this is painful to watch. It appears they are all just gonna line up and kiss her ass all night, I am angry.

I am angry. But still too tired to scream.

11:57 pm • Saturday • October 18, 2008

@Promnight: Red Dawn – another movie shot in Las Vegas, NM. A friend of the in-laws was in the drive-in concentration camp scene, and everybody turned out to watch them blow up the top of ridge. The little gas station where the Wolverines got guns and beans is still there but has a shelter thing over the gas pumps.

Looks like I’ll skip SNL and catch the highlights on the webz. Just moved back into the room I’ve been tiling and painting for the past week (worked over 12 hrs today). I stinque. Headed for a hot bath with a Guinness in hand. May go out for a load of firewood tomorrow.

New Mexico beat SandyEggo State 70-7 today. The Lobos suck, too, so SDSU must be the sick man of the conference.

12:03 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@redmanlaw: Ouch. Mr. SFL went to SDSU and Oregon so this weekend is totally going to hurt him.

12:08 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Tons of people at the neighborhood early voting site, says Mrs RML, at the county fairgrounds where an outdoor scene for Swing State was shot last summer.

12:15 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@redmanlaw: Can you and Mrs. RML help me talk Prommie off the ledge? There is a huge part of me that wants to prepare for the worst, the other part has Hope (TM).

12:28 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

ACK! More Talibunny! not just the opening bit!

12:29 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

Okay, bedtime for baby. Night all!

12:57 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@SanFranLefty: I’m not on the ledge, I am at the bar. I am determined to remain drunk till the election.

During weekend update, they did it, they did that thing I love to do to teh stupids, insult them to their face and make them think I am complimenting them.

There is hope.

SFL, for so long our den mother, the model of propriety and dignity and level-headedness, the sanest of all stinkers, you realize that the bloom is off the rose now, you have become truly one of us, at long last. When we stinkers do finally get together, its gonna have to be the inauguration, come on, don’t we want to be there for the pigfucker riot, when we do get together, SFL, you will be known to one and all as “Wasabi.” That was a nickname-creating moment, I think.

1:00 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

No, henceforth, I will always think of you as “Sushi,” because, after all, thats what you eat with wasabi.

Damn, I am chuckling. I am so glad you climbed down and joined us here in our mud wallow.

1:06 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

Here is Amy Pohler’s rap, can you believe Palin just smiled and danced through this?

My name is Sarah Palin
You all know me,
Vice-Prezzy nominee,
of the GOP.

Gonna need ya vote,
In the next election.
Can I get a “woot woot!”
From the senior section.

McCain got experience.
McCain got style.
But don’t let him creep you out,
When he drops that smile.
‘Cause that smile be creepy!
But when I’m VP,
All the leaders of the world gonna FINALLY meet me.

Jeremiah Wright,
‘Cause tonight I’m the preacher,
I got a bookish look,
And you’re all hot for teacher.

Todd lookin’ fine on his snowmachine,
So hot for each other,
He the “go-between.”

In Wasilla,
We just chill, baby, chilla,
But when I see oil it’s
“Drill baby! Drilla!”

My country tis of the Thee,
From my porch I can see,
Russia and such…..

All the mavericks in the house put your hands up,
All the mavericks in the house put your hands up,
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up,
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!

When I say “Obama” you say “Ayers!”
Obama!
Ayers!
Obama!
Ayers!
I built me a bridge, it ain’t goin’ nowhere!

McCain/Palin, gonna put the nail in
The coffin of the media elite!
(she likes red meat!)
Shoot a mother humpin’ moose 8 days of the week!

(shoots someone dressed in a moose costume)

Now ya dead!
Now ya dead ’cause I’m an animal!
And I’m bigger than you!
Hold that shotgun,
Rockin the pump.
Everybody party,
We’re goin’ to hunt!

la la la la la la laaaaaaa

(shoots at the audience)

Yo I’m Palin and I’m out!

1:18 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

Oh, SFL, oh, please forgive me, I kid you out of love, but I cannot let go, I cannot call you “Wasabi” or “Sushi,” that would be wrong, no, SFL, no, there is only one appropriate nickname for you, one to which you bring an entirely new, meaning, Hotlips.

1:22 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: Bitch, I never said whose throat the chill goes down when eatin’ the sushi w/ the wasabi. You read a lot into that post that I never corrected. Jus’ sayin’.

Fuckin A, I so want to remain drunk for the next 15 days – this is why I have to preoccupy myself with multiple work and campaign trips. Or else I am a total wreck and I start researching law firms in Auckland (Hint: There aren’t many)

Prommy, I beg you and Mrs. PromNight, to go please go work in Ohio or Virginia or New Hampshire. You want to be in those states when the GOP tries to steal the vote. If nothing else you’ll have great material for your opus (opi?)

1:25 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: Hot Lips? Fuck You. I have no diseases.

Lefty is still a good nick name.

xoxo,
SFLefty

1:28 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: And I say FUCK YOU in the most loving sort of Philly style way. Get out of my lady bits.

You know I heart you and your food pron. Can’t wait to visit your deli. Get off your ass already and get it started. No more bitching and moaning and mooning about it.

1:31 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@SanFranLefty: Diseases, please, where are you going. Wasabi is hot, is all. He he. Hotlips, get it? He he. I so tickle me.

Oh, damn, here’s a happy thought; Bachman’s opponent has received $450,000 in donations since she called for a McCarthyist investigation of america-hating liberals. Ha!

3:09 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: SNL opening not as pandering as I feared, although you know they’re gonna pull punches under the circumstances. They did get Talibunny to say “Caribou Barbie”, after all, and Raging Dem Alec Baldwin did get to rant somewhat before “giving in.”

But really, it was somewhat flat. Which is just fine by me.

3:28 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: I’ve been voting early for years — Oregon brought in vote-by-mail before I moved, and I’ve been voting absentee in Cali. Ballot’s on the coffeetable. Lot more convenient than standing in line on a Tuesday.

3:30 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@JNOV: Yes, but they shot a moose in front of her. Props.

4:00 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Promnight: its not just more republican lies and noise. Its speaking loudly to their lunatic pigfucker christofascist base.

Well, yes, of course. Who else would they be talking to?

It’s still the case that 4 in 10 Americans are idiots — this election won’t change that. And any time national politicians foment violence, we should be worried, as we have been.

But whether there will be real doubt cast upon the election? Balderdash. The ACORN story is easily debunked, even more so after there isn’t a national political campaign fanning it. McCain will call for everyone to come together and drop from sight. The NYT will do a 50-inch piece on it, and the rest of the herd will fall into line.

And meanwhile, the NRO, the RedStaters and the Freepers will do what they always do: shriek. They’re not going away. But I’ll be satisfied when they’re no longer in power.

10:13 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@nojo: There seems to be a clique here that actually watches SNL. I can only think it’s one of those Oreo deals: a taste acquired in childhood that seeps into adulthood. Looked at objectively, Oreos taste like over-sweet chalk and grease. SNL has never had any discipline and rarely any performers of talent. Mostly everyone looks thrilled with themselves to be on TV. It’s not a patch on Mad TV in terms of writing or performing. A show like Little Britain leaves it back in the dust. I daresay SNL tries to do something different but if you’re not 18, drunk, in a dorm, and away from home for the first time in your life I don’t know why anyone watches it. What am I missing?

As for elections: in the UK, election day is a national holiday so everyone can vote. I still don’t get the early voting: what’s the theory behind it? why is it necessary? how can some people vote before others? doesn’t that upset all the provisions for a fair vote?

Prommie, I’m with nojo. Those redstaters always sound like that about everything. The best thing to do is not drive yourself nuts by reading it. Leave that to the FBI.

Letfy, you’ve made me wonder about volunteering to observe voting in Ohio. I might just call Unicorn HQ and see if I can be of use. I should think that having me outside a polling both calling out, “I say, you chaps, make a queue this way, line up on Doreen, here. No pushing if you don’t mind, we’re not a bunch of bloody Yanks… No I don’t know how long it’ll take but shouldn’t be more than five or six hours. So let’s all just avoid eye contact and don’t ask awkward questions.”

10:27 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: I would recommend doing your poll watching in a rural part of the state wearing a blue helmet. That would be an interesting day.

11:37 am • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@redmanlaw: I could also wear a Union Jack tee shirt and greet everyone by saying “Watcher, Cock!”

12:00 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: “I say, you chaps, make a queue this way, line up on Doreen, here. No pushing if you don’t mind, we’re not a bunch of bloody Yanks… No I don’t know how long it’ll take but shouldn’t be more than five or six hours. So let’s all just avoid eye contact and don’t ask awkward questions.”

I adore you.

2:12 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: SNL is an abusive relationship. It’s been so good at times over its 30-some years, you keep hoping it will return to glory, even though you can tell very quickly in a season (never mind a show) whether it’s going to suck for the next eight months.

And, well, Little Britain was lost on me.

Early voting, at least as I’ve known it in Oregon and California, is just an extension of absentee voting. Can’t make it to the polls? Heck, here’s your ballot in advance. (Oregon has run all-mail elections for about ten years now.) There’s no exclusion, hence no discrimination. And once I’ve made up my mind about umpteen propositions and candidates, I’d rather just get it out of the way.

As far as making Election Day a national holiday — that would just allow more Democrats to vote. Never happen.

2:27 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

1. I’m an adopted Texan, now in exile, and the win yestiday was awesome.
2. SNL has always been mostly been lamish, and I cringed at the Palin bits. But it was a rough night anyway: saw W last night (Brolin is fucking great, Bush almost a tragic/sympathetic character), and my dreams were peppered with lines from the last eight years bubbling up through my subconscious.
3. I have a Spanish friend who does election monitoring for the OSCE. Places like Haiti, Nicaragua, other work in the Congo, Rwanda, etc. She just arrived in PA…this somehow makes me equal parts happy and depressed.

5:19 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@nojo: But isn’t the point of election day that it is the day of the election?

5:45 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@Lyndon LaDouche: Historical anomaly. Plus, “Election Deadline” doesn’t have the same ring.

6:17 pm • Sunday • October 19, 2008

@nojo: @Lyndon LaDouche: I just got my OR ballot and voter pamphlets in the mail, and I must say that especially for the state questions and ballot measures, I like having time to sit down with the ballot and the pamphlet to figure out what these things are and if a “no” vote is actually for or against the damn thing. Not so much a problem with the candidates because I always vote a straight party ticket. Found it very interesting that some races have 3 or 4 candidates and no Republican candidate at all — including the race for 1st District House seat. The freaking Constitutional Party has more candidates on the ballot than the Republicans.

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