Yoda Pez Winks for No One

We try not to disturb Yoda Pez except in case of electoral emergency, so you can imagine he was a little upset when we asked him to remove the Q-tips from his ears for some post-debate chitchat.

“Hear you, I can’t,” he said. “Listen, I will not.”

We wanted to tell him the good news — Plugz won the debate, Barry has regained his commanding lead in the state polls — but Yoda Pez took a dive for the cotton swabs three minutes into the veepfest, and there they remain.

So we tried winking at him in that friendly way Sarah taught us Thursday night — I gotcha covered, you betcha — and that’s when he started jumping all over our keyboard like some digitally recreated freak.

Up popped an ad featuring Wright, Ayers and Rezko.

We shrugged. This is news?

More jumping. This time a new ad showed up, saying Barry’s a baby killer.

We shook our heads. After Kindie Porn, we’ve come to expect this.

Furiously, Yoda Pez jumped around yet again, revealing news that McCain is spending his entire budget on attack ads, and October’s just getting started.

Unable to take any more, we pulled the swabs from his ears.

“I’m not afraid!” we shouted, mustering our callow courage.

“You will be,” said Yoda Pez. “You will be.”


Can’t wait till the Blazing Saddles style “He’s a Ni-Clang-er! He’s a Ni-Clang-er!” ads come out.

I think for the first time in a long time, we have a preznit campaign where one candidate, PG, really truly hates the other, Barry, to the depth of his dark little soul.

Barry’s accomplished so much in so little time. He’s very intelligent. He’s athletic. He’s TALL. He’s got a smart attractive wife. He can probably dunk. He’s not really rich, but he will be (assuming the economy still uses money as currency and not pop cans.) He has a commanding aura about him. He’s got good instincts and correct most of the time. Amazing public speaker. Plus he’s young. And a BLACK! (I admit that I’m a little jealous myself… but I also respect people who have talent so I keep the green eyed monster at bay.)

What does short little Johnny have? A drugged out plasticized attractive bankroll, uh, wife. 26 years in public office with a record of corruption. He’s been wrong about many things including Iraq. He’s broken physically. He’s old–which he hates too because he wants to be forever 25. 5 and 1/2 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit (at least he thinks he didn’t commit.) He’s nearly sunk an aircraft carrier. He’s crashed five planes. He can’s speak in public without people falling asleep or laughing. And Short.

Mix short man’s syndrome, no talent, insane jealousy, a touch of racsism and white man’s entitlement. You get PG.

Meanwhile: O.J. Simpson is guilty. Of course, we all know this. His story was just unbelievable, and he only was acquitted because of Johnnie Cochran’s creative lawyering skills and a complete farce of a trial and —

Wait. What?

O.J. Simpson Guilty of Armed Robbery, Kidnapping

Oh. Sorry.

(I was going to post on this, but this story is barely worth even a threadjack. Plus I haven’t had coffee yet.)

Shandling said last night that Biden treated Palin pretty much the same way Johnny Carson used to treat Charo.

Limited my access to punditry last night to the Lehrer show. Consensus is that Geezer has nothing left but to go hugely negative. I saw the three page Ayers piece on the NYT site last night, but it really only proves that (a) they both lived and worked in Chicago politics and (b) old school rads like Tom Hayden consider Black Eagle too centrist.

It will get more nasty and punches will be thrown, but I actually feel hopey that it will strengthen McCain’s negatives rather than pull away much from Barry.

@chicago bureau: Conviction came 13 years to the day after the acquittal. Wonder if they’ll have to keep him away from the rest of the population.

@blogenfreude: Only if they’re carrying shades to his ex.

Or if they need a running back for the real life version of the Longest Yard.

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