Psychogeezer: Pestorking in Rio Makes Me a Modern Day Benjamin Franklin
Those crazy kids, Talibunny and Psychogeezer, they can pull just any odd citation from their scruffy CVs and transform it into a credential of vast import, providing proof of their greatness and keystones for their roles as leaders of the free world.
Talibunny can see Russia from her house, qualifying her to play Putin like a mewling sled dog. The Psychogeezer pestorked a random model in Rio in 1957, making him the modern day incarnation of American Ur-statesman Benjamin Franklin. Oh, yes, of course!
Old flame cited as part of McCain’s Latin experience [Miami Herald]
Psychogeezer is so desperate to project any kind of gravitas after his running mate appeared at the debate with all the style and grace of an American Idol contestant, his senior foreign policy advisor is running around bragging how McCain was born in Panama and spent a good deal of time – well over a week – pestoring the feijoada out of of a chick in Rio in 1957, illustrating his bona fides as an authority in Latin American politics.
The Miami Herald reported yesterday:
Speaking at an Americas Conference panel discussion Friday on the next U.S. president’s Latin American policy, McCain advisor Richard Fontaine started out by mentioning an old Brazilian flame of McCain’s, who recently emerged in the press.
”Talking a little about his personal experience, he was famously born in Panama and has traveled all over the hemisphere for many years.” Fontaine said. “In fact, I saw, I guess it was last week, that his old girlfriend in Brazil has been found from his early days when he was in the Navy and was interviewed. She’s a somewhat older woman now than she was then, but it sorta speaks to the long experience he has had in the region — in the most positive terms.”
Yes, Maria Gracinda Teixeira de Jesus, the sagging 77-year old ballerina is trying to cash in on the election, but she was too slow to catch up with the wantonly publicity seeking Psychogeezer own attempt to exploit their short affair. The Psychogeezer, in another example of his class and discretion, has already bragged about giving Maria the good news in his pathetic auto-hagiography ‘Faith of My Fathers‘, revealing his penchant for random pestorkary that must disturb the chaste and condemning Talibunny to her very soul.
Another Reason to Vote for McCain [Neocon Express]
“We spent my last evening on liberty together. She drove me to my ship the next morning. I emerged from under the open gull-wing door and kissed her to a chorus of rowdy cheers from my shipmates. I accepted their approval with an affected sheepish humility.
“When we returned to Annapolis, I had a few weeks’ leave, which I used to fly right back to Rio to continue my storybook romance. By the following Christmas, the distance between us, and our youthful impatience and short attention spans, brought an end to our affair. But it resides in my memory, embellished with age, of course, among the happier experiences of my life.”
Hey, Psychogeezer, if that’s all it takes to qualify as a president of global outlook and command, I have some candidates for cabinet posts you need to know about!
I know a guy who ran over a shitfaced attacker who tried to rob him and his girlfriend with an empty bottle of Knickerbocker Natural. Can I be Secretary of Defense? Or maybe the guy with the Chrysler? Or, now that I think about it, I broke up a fight between two homeless, toothless lovers who were living on an exhaust grate behind the library in town.
Obviously, I am prepared to be Secretary of State if not a minister with unlimited portfolio. No, shit, I broke up the fight and gave the female a half-pack of Lucky Strikes for a blow job – which qualifies me for the State job and for an appointment as Secretary of Commerce.
Promnight has lived inside virtually his whole life! Yeah, dig it! Secretary of the Interior!
Come on, Stinquers, let’s tell the Psychogeezer which cabinet post or executive administrative position you’re ready to assume under a Psychogeezer-Talibunny administration. We’ll package the resulting CV’s and ship them to the campaign before the elections.