Talibunny Hate Index Soars After Palin Spews Lies & Surrenders State to RoveCo
Alaska’s raging disgust with the end-timer vice presidential candidate Sarah ‘Talibunny’ Palin grows by the hour, driven by her breathtaking campaign mendacity and the fact that she handed over control of the state to GOP reprobate-at-large Karl Rove, a character successful principally through his eagerness to chew the smegma off of George W. Bush’s genitals, hardly an exemplar of the frontier values held dear by workaday Alaskans.
When the Talibunny joined the McCain campaign, the Alaska Talibunny Hate Index (“ATHI”) hovered around 20%. Within weeks, however, the ATHI has soared to 32%, as Alaska discovered that there was nothing that the Taibunny wouldn’t lie about and that the state was just another castaway resource in the advance of a psychopathic apocalyptician that hungers for the opportunity to punch the launch codes and deliver American and the world unto the End Times.
The Troopergate investigation into allegations of abuse of power in dismissing Alaska’s top cop has turned from a small-time ethics investigation into a full-blown circus, with Palin desperately trying to run out the clock and dodge the investigators until after the election. Last month Talibunny Hubby Todd Palin and Talibunny’s staff gave the Alaska legislature the finger by refusing to appear before an investigative committee – a tactic likely orchestrated by Rove and the McCain campaign and one that continues to kick up a lot of ill will for the Talibunny in Alaska.
Everyone in Alaska had to work hard not to vomit when she claimed she rejected the Bridge to Nowhere, given that she lapped up the money for the project when it was available and pretended to disown the project when it was politically expedient. Alaska is the welfare queen of the USA, vacuuming up more tax dollars per head than most any other state. Random, witless public spending is just a part of the state’s economy and the US’s cost of populating the polar frontier with enough people to shoot at the Russians should they get rambunctious and decide to invade Barrow.
The national presses and Web sites are alive with reports that Talibunny was savagely pestorking her husband’s business partner while she was driving Wasilla into fiscal fiasco as the city’s mayor and self-deputized book censor. While it’s true everyone in that part of the world pestorks their neighbors and their pets and random game animals – there’s not a lot to do after you make a snow man and have cocoa – Alaskans don’t like seeing their pestorking habits splashed all over the national press.
On the national stage, the Charles Gibson and Katie Couric television interviews exposed the Talibunny as a bulb so dim even the shit-covered, toothless pigfuckers of the GOP base were raging in their trailers and throwing their Keystone Light empties at the TV. The most recent Pew Research poll finds that just – still, incredible – 37 percent of respondents believe the Talibunny is qualified to be president, down from a staggering 52 percent in September.
Palin down, Obama up: Debate season [The Swamp]
Does any of this matter?
The latest paranoid election period memes to float through the Web maybe point to terrifyingly reasonable outcomes, given recent history as a guide. The first is that November elections have already been assured for the RNC through manipulation of voter registrations and electronic voting systems. The second is that Palin is really just a tool of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove who actually plan on McCain dying – or having him dispatched – while in office so that they can run America through the Talibunny and finally, behind her smiling visage and plush breasts, erect the permanent theocratic dictatorship of our nightmares.